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  2. Willow

    Good morning All. Coffees on.

    Hi, well I had a psychologist appointment today. New to me Dr (PhD). It went well. It had been 18 months since my last therapy appointment. We are going to meet every two weeks when possible. I’ve been having some unusual bouts of depression lately and felt it was time to get back on the therapy train. @Jacquii do all my own makeup. my hair is a wig because I am naturally bald. As Willow I am much less conservative in my dress then I am otherwise. I prefer bolder brighter colors. Thanks for liking my earrings obviously I like them too. I wore a dress today for my
  3. @Sally Stone, thanks for your good wishes and encouraging predictions!
  4. KymmieL

    Good morning All. Coffees on.

    Erikka, Great news on you finally getting your name changed. Sorry about your long time friend abandoning you. I had a (thought) was a best friend. He decided to end our friendship of over 35yrs. So I just let him have it in a letter and unfriended him. He was the only one I came out to other than my wife and sons. I figure that if he doesn't want my friendship the heck with him. I don't need his friendship. Well worked with the new guy today. I don't really care for him. obnoxious, just don't care for him. Defiantly not going to come out around him. Have a
  5. I am not making this topic for a political argument. I just wanted to start a thread for people to discuss their stance on the candidates and their platforms. The most important part of any democracy is informed voting, and I think it is important to have resources for trans people to know where each leader stands. Keep it civil, keep it factual, and keep an open mind. Now, let the discussion begin!
  6. I would suggest taking a step back. I have known many people who cut, and while I was of course scared when they told me and wanted to stop them, more than anything I just wanted them to be ok. I understand why you may cut, and while I wish you wouldn't, I will not tell someone in a desperate situation what they are and aren't allowed to do. Whenever you have concerns, if fact, every time you feel like or have cut, consider coming on here and messaging me, or anyone, personally. We are here to help, all we want is your health. On a more serious note, cutting is not your best option
  7. Today
  8. Jacqui, I thought I could add to Amber and Kathy's comments, but what they both said was spoken so eloquently, I couldn't possibly improve upon any of it. So, instead I will just say that as time goes by, you will become more comfortable in your new skin. It took me a long time to get where I am, but where I am now is a very happy place. I have no doubt you'll be there sooner than you think.
  9. Sally Stone

    New Pumps

    Tonight, I was shopping for a new pair of boots. I couldn't find anything I really liked, but accidently stumbled upon these at Macy's. I can't really say I need another pair of high-heel pumps, but how can a girl resist shoes as pretty as these, especially when they are in my (hard-to-find) size? There are so many things I can wear with these. They are supposed to be shipped in 5 to 8 days and I can't wait.
  10. @QuestioningAmber and @KathyLauren, thank you for your thoughtful, helpful responses. Amber, your suggestion about "baby steps" is a good one; I sometimes amplify my anxiety by imposing a false sense of urgency in this process where none exists. Kathy, I really appreciate the valuable perspectives you've shared here; they resonate with me, and they help. I must admit -- there are times in my life when I felt I was trying to "pass" as a man (and sometimes failing). Even when I didn't fail outright, I probably came across as inauthentic in some subtle way.
  11. Shay

    Good morning All. Coffees on.

    @Berni you are gorgeous and I love the outfit and I envy your hair.
  12. To get the help you really need, you will have to reach out to other people. Your school counselor is usually who I recommend to start with. If you are really in danger of doing severe harm to yourself call your doctor's office or go to an Emergency Room or clinic. Your parents are going to have to learn about it in order for you to get the help you need, I am a grandparent, and I have a medical release for my grand kids if it is needed. I have laid that one down on my son and their mother, and they love their children enough to trust me, and the kids know they can trust me even if what I t
  13. Rat man

    Under Eating?

    Recently I have been forcing myself not to eat because of dysphoria. I feel like I am fat for my age to begin with and now I don't feel hungry often and only eat one basic meal a day.
  14. Yesterday
  15. Idk what to do i feel to scared to tell them and if i dont tell them it will end up with me killing myself
  16. Erikka

    Good morning All. Coffees on.

    Great news from the Superior Court of California. I just got the decree from the court making Erikka Rakel Ingebretsen my legal name! The sad part is that a friend of 60 years has written me off. When I told her this is who I am, she asked me why I had to change name. I explained why my dead brought such sad, painful memories (a violent, physically abusive father who didn't want to father a third and made it quite plain how unwanted I was). After explaining she didn't respond. That was a week ago and she has removed me from her friends list. I know that not everyone can accept who wen are. But
  17. ElizabethStar

    Good morning All. Coffees on.

    @BerniYou got mis-gendered looking like that? Seriously?!? WTH? I have a feeling the next month or so is going to be filled with firsts. I was sent a message to call a customer that I had worked with last week but wasn't told he asked for me by my dead-name. I called him as Elizabeth. I had talk about myself in 3rd person. "yeah, sorry he's not available, I'm happy to help" I was so worried I was going to accidentally out myself trying to explain how I know so much about the problem. I ended up using the "I overheard him (me) working on this last week" excuse. I was able to get t
  18. @Jacqui and @QuestioningAmber It takes time. Early on, I had a hard time saying to my therapist that I was a woman, because, at the time, I didn't feel it. We look for some switch to flip from "I feel like a man" to "I feel like a woman" and get worried if we don't feel it flip. But that's not how it is. Man and woman aren't feelings. And we don't switch our identity anyway. We are born and have always been this way, so there is nothing to switch. So what changed in me that let me finally say "I am a woman"? I started to realize how much ea
  19. Erikka

    47,XXY what a surprise!

    My endro order a genetics test. Instead of being standard 46,XY male I am a 47,XXY. She called it Mosaic Klinefelter syndrome. It means that many of my cells have and extra X and some don't. It explains so many things, like delayed puberty, gynecomastia, dental problems, delay in walking. One in 500 boy babies are born with 47, XXY. It is on a spectrum from barely to completely. I fall somewhere in the middle. So a bit more girl than I thought.
  20. I have two StarCastle albums! They were given to me years ago. Blues Image and Red Rider, great songs by these bands!
  21. QuestioningAmber

    Crippling Anxiety, Fear, and Doubt

    @Jacqui I still have a hard time with the statement "I am a woman". I have been working with my therapist on this for about a year now, and I don't know when it will be simple to say "I am a woman". I want to say it is a magical journey, but I think it is just shifting your identity in simple ways. One thing I have done is started adopting they/them pronouns as a starting point. I prefer those over he/him and she/her doesn't feel quite right yet. These have all been baby steps I have taken. I hope that is a starting point, and I am also curious what others will have to say.
  22. Jacqui

    Good morning All. Coffees on.

    . . . and you are!
  23. I waltzed into this week fairly stoked by the work my therapist and I did at our last session, in which she helped me through a doorway I was hesitant to cross (having her address me exclusively as "Jacqui"). She also gave me an exercise that immerses me in thinking of myself as "Jacqui" so that I can see how this makes me feel. I was feeling confident and optimistic, but now that I'm a few days into the week, I'm feeling terrible anxiety and doubt. In her blog on wordpress in a segment documenting her transition, Rachel Williams says, "I had to learn to accept myself totally as
  24. Berni

    Good morning All. Coffees on.

    "Good morning sir .. " Honestly, some days this is absolutely exhausting! Having my morning coffee at the local mall. Despite the misgendering, I refuse to feel anything but radiant today. Hope everyone has a great one.
  25. DeeDee

    And I'm Kestrel!

    Hi Kestrel, pleased to meet you. 🙂 I think your personality just bubbles through in your outfit (I love the green dress!) and your posts. I'm afraid if I tried to put together a boho look it would just look like I fell in a laundry basket. I seem to alternate between geek chic and smart casual depending on my mood, flared asymmetrical skirts are just gorgeous, but I don't really have a style yet. Who knows. Hope to hear more from you.
  26. Emily michelle

    Vittoria’s story

    Hi and welcome Vittoria!
  27. HollyNoel

    Name Change

    @Jeanette West Hugs for you girl. I have to wait until next Monday to see my therapist to talk about this and several other things. I wish you luck, I'm finding this step to be harder than I thought.. lol.
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  • Posts

    • Willow
      Hi,   well I had a psychologist appointment today.  New to me Dr (PhD). It went well.  It had been 18 months since my last therapy appointment.  We are going to meet every two weeks when possible.  I’ve been having some unusual bouts of depression lately and felt it was time to get back on the therapy train.     @Jacquii do all my own makeup. my hair is a wig because I am naturally bald.  As Willow I am much less conservative in my dress then I am otherwise.  I prefer bolder brighter colors.  Thanks for liking my earrings obviously I like them too.  I wore a dress today for my appointment.     its been quite a while since I was last misgendered but I probably just jinxed myself.  In fact I think it was my first time out as Willow which was a couple years ago.  My wife complains I have better legs, and that some of her tops look better on me.     @Emily michellehow did your foot get crushed?  I must have missed that.   Willow
    • Jacqui
      @Sally Stone, thanks for your good wishes and encouraging predictions!
    • KymmieL
      Erikka, Great news on you finally getting your name changed. Sorry about your long time friend abandoning you. I had a (thought) was a best friend. He decided to end our friendship of over 35yrs. So I just let him have it in a letter and unfriended him. He was the only one I came out to other than my wife and sons.   I figure that if he doesn't want my friendship the heck with him. I don't need his friendship.   Well worked with the new guy today. I don't really care for him. obnoxious, just don't care for him. Defiantly not going to come out around him.   Have a good evening everyone.   Kymmie
    • A. Dillon
      I am not making this topic for a political argument. I just wanted to start a thread for people to discuss their stance on the candidates and their platforms. The most important part of any democracy is informed voting, and I think it is important to have resources for trans people to know where each leader stands. Keep it civil, keep it factual, and keep an open mind. Now, let the discussion begin!
    • A. Dillon
      I would suggest taking a step back. I have known many people who cut, and while I was of course scared when they told me and wanted to stop them, more than anything I just wanted them to be ok. I understand why you may cut, and while I wish you wouldn't, I will not tell someone in a desperate situation what they are and aren't allowed to do. Whenever you have concerns, if fact, every time you feel like or have cut, consider coming on here and messaging me, or anyone, personally. We are here to help, all we want is your health.   On a more serious note, cutting is not your best option here. Over time, you will become more desensitized to it, and make them deeper and longer. It is a slippery slope. I would suggest instead, maybe for just a few days, finding some other way to let out that pain. I do not and never will condone self harm, but if you are going to do it, try other methods. Personally, I would put needles in the thick skin on my feet. It didn't actually make me bleed, nor was it painful as I couldn't feel it, but the release I felt was pretty good. Not a long term solution, but it could help you get off cutting for now.   I am here anytime. Just stop in, I don't judge, no matter what you have done I will try to help you. Please...
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