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  2. The results are in. @Cbxshawn, you've won this month with your hot dog shooting phasers! Would you like to keep your current title (Senior Member) or have it changed to Dec 2017 Winner?
  3. Today
  4. Hello from St. Louis, mo

    Hello Alexa, Welcome to TransPulse. MaryEllen
  5. Checking in / Coming to terms

    I agree with Jani here - It is always easier to get another job when you already have one. Another thing I have noticed in life is that it always seems the predators notice a weakened individual in the herd and gang up on them. This can easily be seen in animals and really shows in the primeval behaviour of groups at times. Something to realise is that not everyone will be party to this and there will be people at work who won't go with any group behaviour. Also some may use the facillities as a matter of course and not to deliberatly obstruct you. To you it will seem that way as, when depressed, we often think the worst. I have also noticed a trend in the past in which someone is 'flavour of the month'. ie the current person to be subject to group grief! Usually after getting by this period people's main attention diverts to the next unfortunate individual (more primeval behaviour?). Following the above, the answer is usually to tough it out and be confident. Think logically and try to supress emotion (I know that is difficult). If you can rise above it you will gain friends and better times will come Thinking of you Tracy x
  6. Happy Birthday's

    Good morning Everyone!🎅 Happy Birthday megandb!🎂 Happy Birthday MissNexus!🎂 Hope you have a great day! Lots of love, Timber Wolf🐾
  7. Hello from St. Louis, mo

    Hi Alexa, Welcome to TransPulse. Glad you're here! Lots of love, Timber Wolf🐾
  8. Hello from St. Louis, mo

    Hello hello! Thanks for allowing me to join the site. My name is Alexa, at the moment and for a long time now I have consider myself to be just bigender… When I was a young one they called dual gender identity but I guess bigender is more catchy… I am definitely a free spirit I have been through a lot but I have no regrets I wake up every morning and make the most of it. Sure I have bad days but I don’t let it continue forward. I seek now to surround myself with people who are not just open but inspire me to better myself in a multitude of ways. Ask me if you have any questions I never get offended Hakuna Matata
  9. What are you looking for in "trans friendly". NJ isn't "trans friendly"?
  10. Best way to start hair removal

    Hi April, I started directly with electrolysis since I had a mix of dark and white. With rosacea you might not be a good candidate for laser since that does heat up the skin quite a bit leaving it with a look of a good sunburn for a number of days. It is also considered hair reduction as it may not be permanent. From what I've read the folks who claim it to be permanent are typically younger with less established growth than us seniors. Electrolysis is no walk in the park since the hair follicle isn't typically completely killed in one zap. The weakened follicle produces a thinner and finer hair that is eventually killed off after multiple hits. I have a 100 hours on the table in two years and I'm looking really good. I've recently accelerated to multiple hours in my weekly sessions. I didn't have a strong beard to start with so your results will be dependent upon who thick your hair is. Some people find they need a pain management regimen to get through a session. Initially I used lidocaine on my upper lip area along with acetaminophen, but I stopped after a few months when I got use to the sensation of each zap. It's still a mild form of torture but its tolerable since I want it gone so badly. I don't recall if you're on HRT, but as the T in your system is reduced the pain does seem to go up so start now if you can. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but no one promised this would be easy. Jani
  11. Hi April. Retirement can be a wonderful time that allows us to do many things we couldn't do or have time for. I hope your retirement is all you expect of it. As to relocation, I have considered this for some time. Now that I'm on E, I find I do not particularly enjoy the cold weather as I once did so I am looking for a warmer climate. We have a couple years until my wife retires so I have time to research and do some exploratory visits. I'd like a place with little to no snow, temps > 40 degrees but not beyond the high 90's, good healthcare, a good social environment, in a walkable community. I have family with homes on the gulf coast of Florida so that may be a consideration. I've found areas on the West coast that might work although my wife may balk at being too far from the grandkids. We're also thinking about a condo rather than another single family home. I am concerned about giving up our great summer weather where we are but I also fear the experience of hurricanes and forest fires found in a number promising locations. There has to be some great place! This is a good website to use in your search as they capture a lot of good data points. https://www.bestplaces.net Best of luck in your search. Jani
  12. Checking in / Coming to terms

    Cindy, I'm glad to hear your cat is doing better. Thanks for checking in. As to quitting your job, despite how difficult it is please make sure you have another one before you do. I don't know how the job market is out there but a new one may not come along quickly. Best of luck. Jani
  13. Looking to possibly relocate

    We are in central jersey near the river north of Trenton. The Lambertville New Hope region is very GLBT friendly as is the area north along the river. Hugs, Charlize
  14. Yesterday
  15. Best way to start hair removal

    https://www.hairfacts.com This a good place to start and is where I found my guidance but in the end it was by contacting an Electrologist that I got the best advice.. She directed me to a good laser clinic and gave me a map of how to proceed which pretty much was spot on. i used laser to get rid of the darks and electrolysis to get rid of the greys and whites. Laser covers a large area very fast but does not clear like electrolysis. It takes multiple treatments to reduce the shadow but it did work for me. about half way through they hooked me up with an Electrologist and that's when the greys were taken care of. i am still going to the Electrologist and the Laser sessions have pretty much been finished. i have been doing hair removal for more than 18 months and still have some ways to go but I am truly happy now with how I look and a shave does wonders. HRT helps and I have been on those for 15 months now. cheers Rachel. PS I have not changed my avatar name yet.
  16. Confusing

    What is the most confusing to us really is not how we feel, but rather how we have been taught to respond to how we feel. Other people have expected us to behave in a way that we do not have as a personal inner path way, and it is why THEY expect us to do it their way that really confuses us when we know that way is not right for us. We want them to like us and love us, but we just are not built the way the want to see us. Even our sexuality does not jibe with what they demand that we have and that is a good thing for us and a confusing thing for them. I agree with the benefits of a good therapist, they can help us see where confusion really lies and to feel that our ways of behavior are definitely FOR US but are not for others.
  17. Checking in / Coming to terms

    The cat is going to live. Her kidney's shut down because she was sick and not eating or drinking. We think she walked across a floor that had been mopped with a strong cleaner and then licked it off her paws. It cost $1,000 at the vet, money we didn't have and had to put on the credit card which was almost maxed. Then we got the news that my BFF/roommate/ex-wife's mother died. There's an insurance policy to pay for the burial, but no money to get back to NC. I don't think she wanted to go to the funeral anyway, her mother had been really evil to her ever since she'd been born. I'm going to have to quit my job. I transitioned while working there. At first it seemed like everyone was doing all they could to support me. But lately it's been getting bad. I've had my boss and the one above him both insinuate that I shouldn't use the Ladies Room. I was fine with that at first, I thought it would change with a bit of time and after everyone realized that I'm not some sex crazed freak. I even made sure to let everyone know that I'm actually into men, but it doesn't seem to matter. There's a single stall, all gender bathroom that I was using instead. I didn't miss that people have been watching to see what bathroom I've been using. At first everything was fine with this arrangement, I was willing to let it go. But lately it seems like more and more guys are using the single stall bathroom and they are staying in there longer and longer. I've been trying to not make a fuss, so I haven't said anything despite being in pain from holding it and almost messing myself several times. But last Friday was the company Christmas party. I knew that all the Field Techs and Sales people would be there, which means more people using the bathrooms. I made a note and taped it to the single stall bathroom door. I explained that it was the only bathroom I could use and asked that people only use that restroom if necessary. Someone complained immediately and I got in trouble. I was told that I was discriminating because it's an "all gender" bathroom. When you combine this with the other little things people have been doing, the message is clear, they don't want my kind there. I made out like I had work to do and skipped the party. I cry a lot more now. I have to. I can't keep hurting myself to make it go away. I'm risking permanent damage whenever I slam my fist into solid wood or concrete. But I'm still hiding it from everyone except my therapist. They don't understand and every time I try to explain how I feel they get it wrong and say things that either don't help or make it worse. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of it all. Yes I wish I could end it. But I can't. I owe my BFF/roommate/ex-wife for everything I put her through. I can't put her through that much pain. "Duty is heavier than a mountain, death is lighter than a feather." I'm hopeful that one day she'll find a man who honestly loves her and can make her happy. I can give them my blessing, let her move on, and then I can move on as well knowing that she'll be fine. I pray for that. Because there's no hope for me. I've been trying to have hope, I even picked it as my middle name. But I don't have hope. People don't want me around, not really. Guys don't want me, I'm just too ugly and I can't afford the surgeries to change that. Manipulating photos to make me look better doesn't help when they see me in person. And when they learn what I am, it goes from kind, warm, and friendly banter to "come over, bend over". I may as well become a prostitute, same treatment but at least I'd get paid. Sorry folks. I only meant to give a quick update about the cat. But I'm in a pretty dark place.
  18. I am retired and will be starting transitioning soon and have been researching on possibly relocating. The place I would like to go will be trans friendly and have a good transgender resources like therapists, endos, health insurance (obamacare). I am in northern NJ at present and have looked into jersey Shore, Virginia and Delaware. What do you think please include your recommendations along reason(s).
  19. I would like to start facial hair removal but not sure where to start. Should I just start with laser then onto electrolysis or just electrolysis. Some of the facial hair is gray but not sure how much should I let it grow for a while to see how it looks and go from there. I do also have rosacea if that matters. Also how many hours of each do you think I may be needed.
  20. Greetings from NJ

    Thank you all for your kind welcome
  21. Confusing

    Hi Ariannna, It is very confusing. Jani's right, gender therapists can help us work through our confusion to find our answers. She's also right about sexual preference. Gender identity and sexual preference are different things. I'm M2F and I'm attracted to women. Others find they're attracted to men. And it's all ok. As far as having caring and understanding friends here, we will always be here for you! Lots of love, Timber Wolf🐾
  22. Happy Birthday's

    Good morning Everyone!🎁 Happy Birthday amamda is cute MK3!🎂 Happy Birthday DiscreteLoner!🎂 Hope your birthday wish comes true! Lots of love, Timber Wolf🐾
  23. What are you listening to today?

    Sunday morning, Smooth Jazz while reading the news online! Ahhh. Jani
  24. Confusing

    I certainly understand your emotions. It is hard. Being happy when you dress is a wonderful feeling. This is why so many of us have turned to gender therapists to talk things over and help us figure out what we really want. Sometimes another person without a vested interest in our life is the best arbiter. Remember that your sexuality need not change and it may not change when your gender presentation is altered. This is OK. As to whether anyone here understands the feelings you have, certainly we do but then as you have probably read, we are all on our own personal journeys. Everyone here has differing life background, experiences, and desires looking forward. The best we can hope for is to learn from others and to make the best choices for our own situation. Keep the lines of communication open. Jani
  25. In regards to the night owl waking up that I do , I told a friend at an AA meeting in the fall that I must like it as , like you wrote , I know how to get back to sleep but sometimes I just reflect. Its a peaceful time of the night and most of the city is silent. I am lucky to live in Kitsialno which is between the downtown core of Vancouver and UBC ( University of British Columbia ) so it's somewhat annexed from the rest Van. i had one of those nights last night but it was okay as the waking was short and I went to bed at 9ish. i resolved things like rescheduling some skin care appointment until after my yearly medical with my new doctor in Jan and ignoring my sponsors suggestion to go to Granville Island to busk today. I had decided that I was going to confront him on his endless advice giving but my intensity over this issue had lessened after recovering from my cold insted I enlightened him as we had coffee yesterday about how various types of foods affect me emotionally and how important my diet is to my sobriety. He's a good listener and I will give him that but he left Alanon after about 9 months so he only got a lick and a promise in regards to the gifts of Alanon Recovery. i have been sharing about how owning my own stuff and making my own deciisions have been so important since starting recovery and not letting well meaning sponsors and pushy laser techs coral me into something that's not right i for me at that time and I will wait until it feels good and right. Thank You Alanon:) Much Love Rachel
  26. White House Drops Anti-Trans Judicial Nominee

    Ten Four!!
  27. I am just getting over a major cold/flu. My voice went all over the place during the coughing and sneezing and conjestion. I try to use one word "anyway" as a word to key my voice to. I know how that word sounds in my head and that it sounds right to others. But as Jani pointed out, you need to be comfortable with the voice you develop. Both mentally and physically.
  28. What are you listening to today?

    Hold on - Yes a song of hope.... C -
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  • Posts

    • Dev
      The results are in.  @Cbxshawn, you've won this month with your hot dog shooting phasers!  Would you like to keep your current title (Senior Member) or have it changed to Dec 2017 Winner?
    • MaryEllen
      Hello Alexa,   Welcome to TransPulse.   MaryEllen
    • tracy_j
      I agree with Jani here - It is always easier to get another job when you already have one.   Another thing I have noticed in life is that it always seems the predators notice a weakened individual in the herd and gang up on them. This can easily be seen in animals and really shows in the primeval behaviour of groups at times. Something to realise is that not everyone will be party to this and there will be people at work who won't go with any group behaviour. Also some may use the facillities as a matter of course and not to deliberatly obstruct you. To you it will seem that way as, when depressed, we often think the worst.   I have also noticed a trend in the past in which someone is 'flavour of the month'. ie the current person to be subject to group grief! Usually after getting by this period people's main attention diverts to the next unfortunate individual (more primeval behaviour?).   Following the above, the answer is usually to tough it out and be confident. Think logically and try to supress emotion (I know that is difficult). If you can rise above it you will gain friends and better times will come   Thinking of you   Tracy x  
    • Timber Wolf
      Good morning Everyone!🎅   Happy Birthday megandb!🎂 Happy Birthday MissNexus!🎂 Hope you have a great day!   Lots of love, Timber Wolf🐾
    • Timber Wolf
      Hi Alexa, Welcome to TransPulse. Glad you're here!   Lots of love, Timber Wolf🐾
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. megandb
      megandb
      (35 years old)
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      MissNexus
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