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  2. First Therapist Appointment on Monday

    I felt having someone to talk to with out judgement really helped me too. In some ways it was an outlet for my anxiety's about coming out to my family. Once that was done, the therapist was their to help me navigate my transition with all its ups and downs.
  3. I hit the jackpot

    Thank you ladies for your support it is just now sinking in how lucky I really am bobbisue
  4. Today
  5. A beautiful day!

    Despite being late October the weather was delicious yesterday so I took my kayak out for a paddle. The leaves are starting to turn green to gold and orange. Jani
  6. I hit the jackpot

    That's just wonderful, bobbysue! What great news. Congrat's! Lots of love, Timber Wolf🐾
  7. Happy Birthday's

    Good morning Everyone!💃 Happy Birthday Piper!🎂 Happy Birthday terriann!🎂 Hope your day is full of blue skies and sunshine! Lots of love, Timber Wolf🐾
  8. Hello from Michigan

    Hi Arianna, The thought of coming out to family is terrifying early on. Heck, it's terrifying until we've done it. At first it was a petrifying fear for me. In time, I just couldn't keep up the double life with them. I had to be able to be me. Both my parrents have passed, so I chose my younger sibling and sent her a coming out email, then held my breath figuratively. The next morning the reply came. She not only accepted me, she was very supportive! As I read it I laughed and wept with joy and relief. My two older siblings accept me too. I'm now Carla with my family, and have been for almost a year now. Even my oldest sister who I was most afraid would reject me accepts me. On the other hand, the one who was my best friend has not accepted me as Carla. And I thought he would accept me. We never really know. I hope one day you are able to be yourself with your family, whoever you turn out to be. Just remember it's a jourrney, there's no need to do everything fast. Take your time and do things when you are ready. There's no rush to even put a specific label on yourself yet. Explore yourself. Get to know who you are. And above all, love yourself. We will love you until you can love yourself! Lots of love, Timber Wolf🐾
  9. Hello :)

    Hi Natie Welcome It's good that you have taken your steps. It is something you would always wonder about, and need to explore. I know cultures and people differ, but do not write off your parents completely. It is good to stay in contact, even if they never know the full extent of your change. I live as androgyne, and am usually dressed female. My brother, for one, along with his wife have seen me dressed in a local supermarket wearing girly clothes (skirt, tights etc). I suspect they were not impressed, but in our family there is no direct predjudice. I have never explained anything to the family, except my partner and son. As I am not physically changing (surgery) and unlikely to officially change gender I think, for me, it would be too complicated (especially as my mother is very forgetful so I would have to continuously explain things). They accept me as I am with no problems. You will find your way. Just to tread carefully for the first few steps until you get to know yourself and your environment better. You will become more confident with time Tracy x
  10. Ello!

    Hi Eva Welcome I know the feeling of lack of trans folk as I don't know any at all here, although it is some while since I last investigated. Logically there must be many! It does not worry me, and I have a steadily changing circle of friends, but the change in viewpoint means I just have to be aware of how may partner may see things. Tracy
  11. I hit the jackpot

    Very good news Tracy
  12. Trans Woman Convicted of Sexual Assault of 10 Y.O.

    The Web research site Snopes.com looked into this case, because of the predictable right wing media misinformation being disseminated. You can read it for yourself here: https://www.snopes.com/miguel-martinez-transgender-bathroom-controversy/ The bottom line is that yes, this case is horrific, the perp is evil and needs to be locked away, but the crime has nothing to do with access by trans women to public restrooms. The folks who are most outraged by the transgender aspect of this story are the same folks who try to ignore all the politicians, priests and rich businessmen who have been accused or convicted of or admitted to sexual assault over the years. Where was, and is, the right's outrage about that? Carolyn Marie
  13. Ello!

    Welcome Eva. Glad you've joined us. Having a chance to share with others who understood how i felt has been so important to me. Glad you've joined us. Hugs, Charlize
  14. I hit the jackpot

    Wonderful! Being accepted by others especially our family is the best. Finally we can be honest. Hugs, Charlize
  15. Hello from Michigan

    I have never gone out dressed but plan on wearing nighttime clothes to bed tonight. My body is manly which can be a bit of mood killer when dressed. I’m trying to work on not putting so much thought into everything and over thinking. Anyways my parents don’t know about my feelings towards this. I believe my mom would be accepting but my dad not so much. My parents do a lot for me. The thought of losing them would be awful and I don’t know if transitioning into a female would be worth it then. I’m probably just over a thinking it. I would hate to lose the ones I love because they don’t understand and are willing to accept my gender dsyphoria. It’s scary to be honest.
  16. Tell us about your pets?

    When I was much younger I was given a parakeet (an Australian shell parakeet, or budgerigar) by an Aunt. I'm not sure what my parents thought but I had Budgies for quite some time afterwards. We were living in the southern US at the time and now that I'm in the Northern climate and keep my house cool I'm not sure it's would be feasible. I do have fond memories of having birds. They seem to have such interesting personalities. Our last cat was 27 when she passed. My wife has a cat now who is such a lover but I don't interact with her much except when I'm at the condo. Interesting that yellow cats seem to be more friendly and loving than grey ones, which seem to be more aloof. My mother pointed this out years ago and it seems to be true from our experience. Jani
  17. I hit the jackpot

    Very good news BobbieSue!! It seems younger folks do have a better understanding of gender and acceptance than earlier generations. (Although there are exceptions) I'm so happy for you. Having the love and acceptance of our children is very important to our self image. Congratulations for raising open minded children. Jani
  18. I hit the jackpot

    Congrats! Excellent to hear it went so well!
  19. Hello :)

    Hello Natie and welcome. Questioning ones identity and gender is completely OK. Wearing clothing of the opposite gender is intimidating at first but once you get past the fear and you realize that personally you are comfortable with what you wear, it is fine. Start small and easy. You can even shop online if you need to so not to draw attention. There are things you can wear that will not give away your secret straight away but it may help by being comfortable for you. I think quite a few of us tend to be introverted by default since we are maintaining a secret. I have found that since realizing the "real me" I am fairly outgoing. You may be too! That's great that you are taking care of your body. Eating well is important. You say its isn't too much but it is!!! We all take the steps we need to move forward at our own pace. Your journey is yours alone. But we are here to support and encourage you where we can. I'm sure you've read many of our posts about our personal stories and found many are very similar to yours. Parents are a particular concern since we have a direct link to them. Mine are considerable older than yours and I can attest it is difficult. (I may be older than your parents!) My father has a hard time, although I know he still loves me. You are correct that a therapist would be a big advantage. You might be able to find one that does meetings via Skype or FaceTime. That way you are not limited by geography. I hope you find a response to the questions you are seeking to answer. You've made an initial step and you are here. Congratulations. We are here to support you. You are part of a large community. Please join in the conversation when you can. Cheers, Jani
  20. I hit the jackpot

    I hit the jackpot with my kids Today I came out to the last of my six kids all adults it went very well I haven't had a bad reaction from any of them or their spouses I love my kids bobbisue
  21. Yesterday
  22. What are you listening to today?

    Earlier I was listening to Celtic music on the radio (Celtic Sojourn on WGBH online). Now I'm listening to the new version of "A Praire Home Companion" The music has gotten much better since Chris Thile took over. Jani
  23. Hello from Michigan

    That's great because we all need to remember to love ourselves because sometimes we forget how important that is. Loving oneself is the ultimate cure for depression, in my opinion. I'm glad to hear your getting out with friends. So you're going to dress up a bit tonight. Great! Are your parents accepting? You're among friends here. Jani
  24. Hello :)

    Welcome to TransPulse, Natie. I'm glad you decided to join and share your story. I look forward to hearing the questions you may have and seeing your input on others' posts!
  25. Hello :)

    Hello everyone, I like to introduce myself as Natie (a short form of Natalie), though I was born as a male. To be specific, I am still not exactly sure of my true gender and I would like to discover finally get an answer to that question. I am 22 yo and I currently live in Eastern Europe - alone. My parents are a true example of being orthodox, that is why I never tried to speak to them. I simply knew how would it end. When I was little, I really enjoyed dressing as a girl and have a make-up, even though it was my older sister who dressed me like that. I enjoyed playing with girls too, when I was 5, my best friend was actually a girl and I still remember when we pretended to be the butterflies. Then the contact breached, as I had to move to a different place of the town and at 7, I was meant to go to an other school with completely different people I didn't know. I clammed up, at school I kept a company of boys but when I went playing outside after school, I didn't have any problem to play with everyone, even the girls. I disliked playing football, to be fair preferred to play in a sandbox. I was (and still am, a little) timid. The real change arrived when I was 8 yo, then my entire family, as many others in these difficult times, decided to move to Western Europe for a better life. When I arrived, it was even worse than before, I didn't know anyone at all and I simply didn't know French. Had to learn it, was isolated, shy. I began to put myself into a virtual world - at this time, I've got a computer. I didn't have any difficulties with my gender at this time, I spoke of myself as a "he", my profiles where so too. Until I was 16. At this time, I began to question my identity, even though I was sexually attracted to women, many told me I was gay, now I know that maybe I'm simply bisexual and this has nothing to do with my gender. The point is that I began to question myself what it would be like to be feminine, I found myself dreaming of looking like a woman - not really crossdressing, I wanted to BE a woman, I questioned myself why I wasn't born as a girl, dreamed of it. At this time, I also had some suicidal thoughts, which have already passed. It was bothering me, but I kept living as a young man.Even if I would want to try, you have to understand I would never want to show up wearing women's clothes. It would be intimidating, I'm an introvert. So, as I wrote, I kept living as I was, enjoying the time with my friends of my birth-country, mostly girls. I compensated my desire by playing video games - you know, choosing female characters. I wrote stories with female protagonists too, I even preferred when books where written with a girl-perspective and I liked to present myself as being a girl in the web - you know, full anonymity. It has been so until this year, when I decided to make little steps to feel more comfortable. I started to take care of my body (I have a slight overweight) by eating less meat, more vegetables, flax seed, soy. I also take care of my face and get rid of my beard with a wax. I know this isn't too much, but these little steps help me feel less a man, as I don't fully identify as one. I'm not sure if I'm transgender either and I'm aware I should contact a therapist, however, you should understand I moved to Eastern Europe - here, in this region, it's mostly simply binary - you're a man or you're a woman. Especially when I live in a very little town, as I work remotely for a company in a bigger city. I hope though, that I will finally find an answer and I'm already reading these forums for a quite long time
  26. Hello from Michigan

    Thanks jani..I’m going to spend my time now growing and learning more about myself. Since the divorce I’ve had mood swings. For example last night I was with some friends playing video games and was happy. Then all of a sudden I started feeling very depressed and down but it passed with time. Everyday has its struggles. Video games help me to relax and focus on something. Instead of getting down on myself. I think tonight I’m going to dress up a bit. I really need it. Hi! Timber wolf.. it’s great to meet someone from Michigan! Yes you are right! We aren’t alone and finding others who are similar to us is soothing. It calms my nerves knowing others are going through what I am. Having others to talk to is the best medicine. 😊
  27. Ello!

    Hi SteamGirlEva, Welcome to TransPulse. No matter where you are, we're always here! Lots of love, Timber Wolf🐾
  28. Hello from Michigan

    Hi Arianna, We're in the same neck of the woods! I'm in Michigan too. I'm so glad you're here! When I first showed up here, I felt all alone in the world. Finding others like me has been wonderful. We don't have to be alone anymore. So pour a cup of coffee, pull up a chair by the fire, and join in the conversation. You are most welcome here! Lots of love, Timber Wolf🐾
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