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  2. Bri2020

    Good morning All. Coffees on.

    As my wife woke up at our usual hour of 5:30am I pulled the covers back over my head thinking- I'm not working today, I'm sleeping in for a change. The warmth of the bed was calling me back. Unfortunately, I thought about all the stuff I wanted to get done in my personal life and my head started spinning so up I got and headed down for some Sumatran Peaberry deliciousness. On the agenda today: finish sewing a dress I'm making (or at least get it mostly done), distilling some rum, heading off to the apple store for computer repair and- watch some football. I'm not sure I can get all t
  3. Audrey

    Wife help

    This! Hi Brianna, it's nice to meet you and I'm sorry to hear about the difficulties you're facing with your wife. My partner has also struggled to accept me since I came out as a binary trans woman, started presenting myself in a more feminine way, and began HRT. I will say that the idea of being in a lesbian relationship has been especially hard for my partner, and she has many of the fears Jackie described. My partner and I are striving to keep open and honest communication so we can share about our feelings, rather than keeping them hidden where they can fester into anger, resentment, or w
  4. Today
  5. Dear @gina-nicole-t, I'm sorry to hear about your experience on social media. It's for reasons like what you describe, as well as keeping a lower profile online due to my profession, that I avoid social media altogether. Mainstream media does no favors to anyone by promoting standards out of reach of all but a lucky few. As a result, body image issues are something that so many people struggle with, myself included. Dealing with those issues *and* being transgender adds complexity because of the dysphoria involved. There is also the very real relationship between the ability to pass, and stayi
  6. Jackie C.

    Wife help

    Seconded, a joint session would probably do both of you good. Presuming your wife can deal with being a lesbian by marriage, she needs to understand that the person she loves isn't going away. HRT isn't going to turn you into a sex maniac hungry for boy bits. I actually saw a statistic the other day (not sure how accurate it was, but it felt about right) that only about 25% of us (MtF) are straight. By straight I mean into men if that's not clear. So you have no plans to leave her. You're still going to be yourself, you'll just have softer skin, less body hair and breasts. I mean sure you're a
  7. Petra Jane

    Cutting and Self Abuse

    Greetings UKenby, welcome to the forums. I think my personal suggestion would be to speak to your doctor in confidence about this. At this current time you can even do it over the phone or videolink, at least, that is how my practice does things currently. If your health centre is like mine, you would have a choice of speaking to your family doctor, or any other within the practice. And of course, this consultation is protected under Patient Doctor confidentiality.
  8. Hi I’m an enby from the uk I am having issues with self harm and it doesn’t help that I can’t be myself around my parents I need advice please help this is the worst it’s ever gotten
  9. Chloe Cozee

    Good morning All. Coffees on.

    I think that I did not drink enough water yesterday and woke with a migraine headache. It woke me up early. Hoping to to hydrate and go back to bed in a while. Good Morning Everyone!
  10. Chloe Cozee

    Awakenings

    Thank you everyone who replied!
  11. gina-nicole-t

    Thought of the day

    I love that quote. That applies to so many things and people in society today. Especially the people.
  12. gina-nicole-t

    Nothing beats being invalidated in the community.

    @Susan R oh yeah on social media related to transgender you would be surprised at the amount of people who want to make sure you fit into their box, and if you don't out you go with a very swift kick. The fact is I still have many trans friends on my social media site that never abandoned me, it just appears to be the ones who think that their beauty rises above, and believe they can set standards for everyone else. I believe that is what leads to body image issues with everyone not just trans women, but cis women, and men who hate how they look also. I have a few trans friends that are very a
  13. Andrea Jean

    I'm Terrified of Starting HRT!

    I want to be named after my mom which her middle name is Jean also she is Dorothy Jean
  14. Timber Wolf

    Happy Birthday's

    Good morning everyone, Happy birthday KathrineJulia! Happy birthday Michelle 2010! Happy birthday Shiratori! Happy birthday Woahshutitdown! Hope you have a beautiful day! Lots of love, Timber Wolf
  15. So sorry to hear about this, Gina. I can’t even see this person’s logic in requiring you to post any avatar pic whatsoever. It’s this sort of thing that has kept me off of all mainstream social media sites but I had no idea that this stuff could happen on a ‘community’ based social media site put in place to specially serve and help members like us. Susan R
  16. magical realism

    TMI alert

    As far as I understand thats perfectly normal for all women. I think I read somewhere that those kind of low grade feelings are from liking how you look,when you feel attractive and confident about yourself and really great about yourself you get strong attractive feelings. Cause feeling sexy is sexy. I think a lot of women get that way sometimes on a good day from what I understand.
  17. Vanessa Michelle

    Awakenings

    Hey @Chloe Cozee!! Thanks for sharing more of your story sis! I love it! You are an amazing woman and you sound like you're coming along nicely. I'm proud of you. Love the profile pic too, btw
  18. Hi @tomiand welcome!! Idk how I missed this post until now, but I am glad you're here and I hope you feel at home. Thanks for sharing your story with us.
  19. magical realism

    The Power of Guilt

    Thank you for posting this,Ive been going through similar issues with my family. I just didnt realize it was guilt. I was always and kind of still am afraid of what might happen if i appear to them one day as the person i really am. My father especially,hes a conservative legally blind tejano kinda guy, machismo plays a big part in his self worth. He hasnt been very stable as hes gotten older, (hes in his 70s) and hes still gets down on himself a lot. I get really worried sometimes if he found out suddenly that his son is actually his daughter, he might break down and never come back, or just
  20. Astrid

    Wife help

    Consider finding an experienced gender therapist and have both of you attend sessions. This made a real difference for me and my spouse..... Best wishes, Astrid
  21. Susan R

    Thought of the day

    @Chloe Cozee I like this quote very much. It can apply in a general sense to many different life situations but has even more meaning for me when thinking about it in terms of one’s personal journey of transition. Thanks for sharing this! Susan R
  22. gina-nicole-t

    Nothing beats being invalidated in the community.

    I have never been a member of another forum except this one, and am glad to be a member of it. The biggest problem I have had with the community has been on social media. I was messaged by another trans woman on a social media account that I have had for 12 years. She demanded that I put up a real picture of myself on my profile. When I explained that I didn't have one due to the pandemic putting off my surgeries, she demanded I change my name or leave the platform. I changed my name and she has basically outed me to every trans person on this platform. I know realize that Pride and everything
  23. KatieP

    Choosing The Doctor For FFS...

    I have been to PHR in Wilmette, IL several times over the past 18 months, each time with Dr. Z doing the twilight and facial numbing. While I liked the man (and really liked his daughter when she came through one time), I have always thought he was exceptionally cavalier with his numbing, which made me worry a lot about how he would be in an actual surgery. For instance, he uses one hand with the syringe, and the other hand is not stabilizing my head/face. Several times the needle has gone through my cheek, into my mouth, leaving a bunch of lidocaine in my mouth, and then straight through the
  24. Jani

    Good morning All. Coffees on.

    That's awesome @Heather Nicole. My mother is of the same descent and she's going strong in her late 80's.
  25. Jani

    A day in the life of a luger

    Hi @AudreyI'm in southern NH and snow is pretty non-existent here. Not much further up north due to warm spells and rain we've had. I imagine ski areas are making snow but I don't know how much they work on cross country trails. You'd probably have to go pretty far north to get consistent coverage at state parks and trails. Jani
  26. Brianna1

    Wife help

    I am new to transgender. Realized it about a year ago. Have wardrobe and do some feminine things. Trying to stay married and not hurt her anymore then I have. Want to start hrt and that is her biggest hang up besides being married to a woman. Any advice how to smooth things over?
  27. LaurenA

    Good morning All. Coffees on.

    I guess I don't believe anything I read on almost all of the social networks. They're all too easy to scam and all under regulated.
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  • Posts

    • Bri2020
      As my wife woke up at our usual hour of 5:30am I pulled the covers back over my head thinking- I'm not working today, I'm sleeping in for a change.  The warmth of the bed was calling me back.  Unfortunately, I thought about all the stuff I wanted to get done in my personal life and my head started spinning so up I got and headed down for some Sumatran Peaberry deliciousness.   On the agenda today: finish sewing a dress I'm making (or at least get it mostly done), distilling some rum, heading off to the apple store for computer repair and- watch some football.  I'm not sure I can get all that done.  I need a week off work to get caught up in life. lol. @Chloe CozeeI hope you wake up migraine free. I get HA from dehydration periodically but not migraines. I can't imagine those ;(.  Happy Sunday ladies
    • Audrey
      This! Hi Brianna, it's nice to meet you and I'm sorry to hear about the difficulties you're facing with your wife. My partner has also struggled to accept me since I came out as a binary trans woman, started presenting myself in a more feminine way, and began HRT. I will say that the idea of being in a lesbian relationship has been especially hard for my partner, and she has many of the fears Jackie described. My partner and I are striving to keep open and honest communication so we can share about our feelings, rather than keeping them hidden where they can fester into anger, resentment, or worse. Since I came out last summer, my words and actions have shown her that I remain committed to our relationship. She also understands that I have the same anxiety about it too, so there is mutual reassurance, and I feel it's helped us grow together rather than apart. When new challenges come up in the future, we will have a solid foundation of love to face them from. Also, joint therapy sessions can be a great help too as the other posters have suggested. Wishing you the best!   Love, ~Audrey.
    • Audrey
      Dear @gina-nicole-t, I'm sorry to hear about your experience on social media. It's for reasons like what you describe, as well as keeping a lower profile online due to my profession, that I avoid social media altogether. Mainstream media does no favors to anyone by promoting standards out of reach of all but a lucky few. As a result, body image issues are something that so many people struggle with, myself included. Dealing with those issues *and* being transgender adds complexity because of the dysphoria involved. There is also the very real relationship between the ability to pass, and staying safe in spaces that may not be accepting of transgender people. I strongly believe in body positive thinking. I'm working hard on overcoming my insecurities with my body during transition, but it certainly isn't easy to break out of those cycles of negative thinking. Most of all, surrounding myself with supportive and affirming people goes a long way towards building that self-esteem!   Love, ~Audrey.
    • Jackie C.
      Seconded, a joint session would probably do both of you good. Presuming your wife can deal with being a lesbian by marriage, she needs to understand that the person she loves isn't going away. HRT isn't going to turn you into a sex maniac hungry for boy bits. I actually saw a statistic the other day (not sure how accurate it was, but it felt about right) that only about 25% of us (MtF) are straight. By straight I mean into men if that's not clear. So you have no plans to leave her. You're still going to be yourself, you'll just have softer skin, less body hair and breasts. I mean sure you're also going to be more emotional too, there will be some personality changes but it's not going to turn you into Ms. Hyde. Just different bits of your personality rotate around to become more prominent while others fade into the background. It's subtle, but you're still you.   That was more than I intended, but the core is that you're still going to be you and you're not going to go anywhere unless she pushes you away. It might help her to hear that from somebody else. Someone with letters after their name.   Hugs!
    • Petra Jane
      Greetings UKenby, welcome to the forums.   I think my personal suggestion would be to speak to your doctor in confidence about this. At this current time you can even do it over the phone or videolink, at least, that is how my practice does things currently.   If your health centre is like mine, you would have a choice of speaking to your family doctor, or any other within the practice. And of course, this consultation is protected under Patient Doctor confidentiality.
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