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  2. awkward-yet-sweet

    Is "not transitioning" really an option?

    An option? Sure. When you come right down to it, everything except food/water/shelter is optional. Life can be very basic....brutally basic. Life can even be so bad that one's gender issues or sexuality are the farthest thought from your mind, at least for a while. You can "play pretend" successfully for years or a lifetime, with nobody suspecting that your true self is different from the gender you were assigned at birth. All kinds of choices, and its up to each person to decide which choices are more comfortable and less destructive to self and others. From what I have learned, transition is a spectrum. There's no one single way to do it, and your way may look very different from how a friend does it. Some people go to great lengths with surgery. Others are like me an my friends, non-op by choice or other circumstances. You can do a whole bunch of stuff in a short time, or the process can take years. I don't see it as a black-or-white kind of choice, but a progression towards authenticity and comfort.
  3. Sally Stone

    Shopping across the aisle.

    I buy online occasionally, but I'd much rather try something on in the store to know if it fits or how it looks. I'm not sure this is actually "shopping across the aisle" since I often shop for women's clothes dressed as a woman (but not always). That said, I have had great success finding amazing deals on the discount racks at department stores. I never buy anything at retail in fact, I usually only purchase when an item is seriously discounted. Macy's, Nordstrom's, and Dillards clothes are extremely pricey, but you can find some amazing deals on the sales racks. In Macy's last year, I bought a $300 dollar gown for $45 and just last week I found a really pretty and very feminine sweater on the Macy's rack for $16.99. The original tag price was $89.00. My experience is that department stores tend to sell higher quality clothing, which means you can find some great stuff when you shop their sales racks. I have found some great things at Goodwill myself. And in the interest of full-disclosure, I have given a lot new or nearly new women's items to Goodwill as well.
  4. Today
  5. EasyE

    Shopping across the aisle.

    Discovered this recently as well... you have to be more of a hunter because it isn't always obvious what the sizes are... at least the store near me organizes fairly well by color and such ... found a nice pair of khakis and a nice white skort, though also found a few shirts that when I got home, yikes, way too tight...
  6. awkward-yet-sweet

    Good morning All. Coffees on.

    Wow. To borrow things and break them... that's what we call a "USDA A-Grade Crap Filet." Most mechanics hate it when others borrow their tools...or even touch them. And that's with permission. Without permission? My GF would probably put somebody in the hospital for that. And definitely, if they gotta borrow something multiple times...better be buying their own when that paycheck shows up. At least get the Harbor Freight version. Most of their stuff ain't that bad.
  7. awkward-yet-sweet

    Shopping across the aisle.

    You might not think of it, but Goodwill has a TON of stuff. I guess a lot of women buy clothes, hardly wear them, and then give them away when they get bored. I've seen name brand stuff there for $3 or so. You can always take a look...looking is free. One of my friends is good with a sewing machine, and she gets stuff that's a bit bigger, then adjusts the fit. Easier to subtract fabric than add I shop across the aisle, but for boy things. And believe it or not, its actually more difficult if you're looking for something super cheap. Thrift stores...most of the stuff for boys is worn out. And being small, its super tough to find things in my size. Even shorts, jeans, and t-shirts... good luck finding them in size "tiny fox." Everything is made for Big and Tall. 6ft plus, built like a brick outhouse....Manly! My husband complains since he's not 6ft tall, and if he has a tough time finding clothes that fit, its practically impossible for me.
  8. Mmindy

    Good morning All. Coffees on.

    When I worked as a mechanic in a truck shop. The standard saying was: If you have to borrow a tool more than three times, you need to buy one of your own. Blue collar hands, Mindy
  9. Adrianna Danielle

    Good morning All. Coffees on.

    Finally found out boss did fire a co worker I hated.A mechanic and I was one of 3 mechanics fixing his screw ups.Plus he would go into other other mechanic's toolboxes taking off with tools without asking.One was mine,one was a diesel compression tester kit of mine and broke the gauge part which I will have my Snap On dealer order me a new gauge tommorrow when he comes in
  10. Find and get in touch with the closest LGBTQ center near you and (1) they will know of programs that employ Trans people willingly and (2) will have ways to get you competent legal help to break you free of your family and their controlling and damaging behavior toward you. I do not know Canadian Law on this, but here where I am you could get a court order to stop them from interfering in your life. Gender Dysphoria is not a mental health issue that should keep you from managing your personal affairs. The people at those centers know what we go through and are ready to help you.
  11. Ashley0616

    What are you wearing today?

    You look great in all of them!
  12. Mirrabooka

    Shopping across the aisle.

    I'll try! I still have no desire at all to start wearing skirts and dresses, and I don't have the curves to justify wearing women's jeans or slacks. I think the furthest I will go is maybe some pretty and androgynous tops one day. That's what appealed to me with the hoodie - it just looked so much nicer than any of those on offer from the men's department.
  13. Hello. My name is not Shelli but for my safety i have to use this name here. Im looking for advice. In canada conversion therapy is illegal. My family has employed a psiciatrist to comversion therapy me covertly. I am 45 and the administrator of a wealthy families estate. I have been fleeing this for about 7 years. It began by me having mtf grs. I was supposed to have ffs and top and vocal aswell. They allowed the bottom surgery. Then began getting social workers, the psyc and an accountant to slander me from town to town as i tried to get work and stablity in my life. I eventually went back to male atire to try and hide and restart transition. Each time they wojld find out where i was and it would start again. I spoke out about it and now they claim i destroyed there lives by seeking help and that im an adult child since i cant get a job while they do this so that i cant as i would take control of the families fortune. They have had this psyciatrist diagnose me falsly with scizophrenia, upsetting me then bipolat, borderline, psicotic, and so much more. They have even tried getting me framed for crimes i never commited. Im terrified, living in the woods, off hormones and even when i turn to the lgbt community in my area they have convinced many of them that im a trans man etc etc etc. It never ends. I would like to hear any advice.
  14. Yesterday
  15. Hannah Renee

    Is "not transitioning" really an option?

    This is a good point. For instance, way back when I was still in grade school, my older brother and I learned how to play golf with our dad. It's always been a favorite pastime. When I went to my high school reunion a year and a half ago, I met the 40-something year old daughter of a former classmate. Her job and my family structure (adoption) got us talking, and she loves to play golf. Instant new friend. If I hadn't been transitioning, I would not have chosen that group of ladies to sit with. I've also enjoyed shooting for the past 50 years. I went to renew my concealed carry license last September, and there was one other woman, a couple years older, in attendance, and we connected. I've been to her home and met her husband, a retired pilot. I'm a retired air traffic controller, she works at a local airport museum. She's part of a small ladies shooting group, all aviation enthusiasts, and she and I have been to the range together. I've met some of the others, and we'll all go to the range as a group from time to time. Sorry. Long-winded way of saying that transitioning doesn't have to mean throwing away every aspect of the old you in order to grow as the real you.
  16. Ashley0616

    Ashley's Life from Start to Present

    Get ready for another damn RANT! I have helped my ex that I had kids with over and over again! I told her at the beginning of the month I had a meeting in Jackson, MS for trans people. She said ok. Today she asked if I would help her move to her new apartment because her current one is getting unlivable the same freaking day as the meeting! She of course played it off like oh I don't remember you telling me that. I'm so pissed off right now that I can't see straight. I'm trying to keep my cool because I do have the kids and I don't want to bad mouth her to them! She makes it so hard to even just respect her. Every time her text message or phone call on my phone it feels like my blood boils! I seriously don't know how much crap I can take before I snap on her. She uses them as an excuse all the damn time! I have to end it before I use more colorful language!
  17. My husband and I watched this show last night. It's a platform for genderqueer comics and a response to Netflix's shoddy record of non-allyship, we'll say. “The last time Netflix brought this many trans people together, it was for a protest. So, progress!” Gadsby jabs in the trailer: https://variety.com/2024/tv/news/hannah-gadsby-netflix-special-gender-agenda-queer-comedy-1235907944/ Some of the comics were better than others. But overall I found it amusing, affirming, and joyful. Watch it and share what u think.
  18. Ashley0616

    What are you wearing today?

    Happy birthday @Jamey-Heather
  19. Jamey-Heather

    What are you wearing today?

    Thank you so much !!
  20. Mmindy

    What are you wearing today?

    Happy Birthday Jamey, I do love the scarf, and think you look amazing in this picture. Hugs, Mindy
  21. April Marie

    What are you wearing today?

    Very pretty!!
  22. Jamey-Heather

    What are you wearing today?

    Love this scarf my wife got me for my birthday
  23. Ashley0616

    Ashley's Life from Start to Present

    Thank you! I do feel better it took a while to feel better.
  24. Mmindy

    Ashley's Life from Start to Present

    Hugs and positive vibes for you @Ashley0616 I wish I could be there and really hug away your anxieties. Have you tried a dark room, meditation, and maybe hyperventilating into a paper bag, to ease your breathing pace? I'm also glad that you have a therapist who is available on short notice. Digital Hugs are still from the heart. >HUGS< Mindy
  25. Ashley0616

    Shopping across the aisle.

    SHEIN, Temu and thrift stores is where I go to for clothes. Torrid, Mercari, Amazon and maybe soon Only Maker for shoes.
  26. Ashley0616

    Ashley's Life from Start to Present

    My gender dysphoria is very bad today. I feel so anxious, depressed, distressed, and can't stand down there. I just need some help to get through the day. I'm having a real bad anxiety attack. My chest hurts from breathing so quickly. I'm trying to slow it down but it makes the chest hurt even more. None of my arms are numb so I know it's not a heart attack. Depression is pretty bad too. I want to accomplish things but I feel so depressed that I don't have the energy to do anything. My anxiety caused an anxiety attack which also caused vertigo. Things have gotten worse from Saturday. My body dysmorphia has gotten really bad that the thoughts of putting a hair tie down there to cut the circulation and then I wouldn't have it anymore. Ok it has now been an hour and a half from last and I feel much better. My therapist helped me out. I'm glad he was able to see me on such short notice.
  27. This is great @Hannah Renee Hugs, Mindy
  28. April Marie

    What are you wearing today?

    Thank you! You are too kind!!
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  • Posts

    • awkward-yet-sweet
      An option?  Sure.  When you come right down to it, everything except food/water/shelter is optional.  Life can be very basic....brutally basic.  Life can even be so bad that one's gender issues or sexuality are the farthest thought from your mind, at least for a while.  You can "play pretend" successfully for years or a lifetime, with nobody suspecting that your true self is different from the gender you were assigned at birth.  All kinds of choices, and its up to each person to decide which choices are more comfortable and less destructive to self and others.     From what I have learned, transition is a spectrum.  There's no one single way to do it, and your way may look very different from how a friend does it.  Some people go to great lengths with surgery.  Others are like me an my friends, non-op by choice or other circumstances.  You can do a whole bunch of stuff in a short time, or the process can take years.  I don't see it as a black-or-white kind of choice, but a progression towards authenticity and comfort.
    • Sally Stone
      I buy online occasionally, but I'd much rather try something on in the store to know if it fits or how it looks.  I'm not sure this is actually "shopping across the aisle" since I often shop for women's clothes dressed as a woman (but not always).  That said, I have had great success finding amazing deals on the discount racks at department stores.  I never buy anything at retail in fact, I usually only purchase when an item is seriously discounted.  Macy's, Nordstrom's, and Dillards clothes are extremely pricey, but you can find some amazing deals on the sales racks.  In Macy's last year, I bought a $300 dollar gown for $45 and just last week I found a really pretty and very feminine sweater on the Macy's rack for $16.99.  The original tag price was $89.00.  My experience is that department stores tend to sell higher quality clothing, which means you can find some great stuff when you shop their sales racks.   I have found some great things at Goodwill myself.  And in the interest of full-disclosure, I have given a lot new or nearly new women's items to Goodwill as well.
    • EasyE
      Discovered this recently as well... you have to be more of a hunter because it isn't always obvious what the sizes are... at least the store near me organizes fairly well by color and such ... found a nice pair of khakis and a nice white skort, though also found a few shirts that when I got home, yikes, way too tight... 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Wow.  To borrow things and break them... that's what we call a "USDA A-Grade Crap Filet."  Most mechanics hate it when others borrow their tools...or even touch them.  And that's with permission.  Without permission?  My GF would probably put somebody in the hospital for that.    And definitely, if they gotta borrow something multiple times...better be buying their own when that paycheck shows up.  At least get the Harbor Freight version.  Most of their stuff ain't that bad. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      You might not think of it, but Goodwill has a TON of stuff.  I guess a lot of women buy clothes, hardly wear them, and then give them away when they get bored.  I've seen name brand stuff there for $3 or so.  You can always take a look...looking is free.  One of my friends is good with a sewing machine, and she gets stuff that's a bit bigger, then adjusts the fit.  Easier to subtract fabric than add 😄   I shop across the aisle, but for boy things.  And believe it or not, its actually more difficult if you're looking for something super cheap.  Thrift stores...most of the stuff for boys is worn out.  And being small, its super tough to find things in my size.  Even shorts, jeans, and t-shirts... good luck finding them in size "tiny fox."  Everything is made for Big and Tall.  6ft plus, built like a brick outhouse....Manly!  My husband complains since he's not 6ft tall, and if he has a tough time finding clothes that fit, its practically impossible for me. 
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