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  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Career and Workplace Issues

These forums offer a place to discuss issues that affect transgender people in the working world. Finding work, coming out, handling discrimination and prejudice, and all other career issues can be explored here.


  1. Job Search

    Searching for work is one of the biggest challenges faced by the transgender community.  Here you can ask for advice on the process.

  2. Academia

    If you're a student or if you work in the education field, this is the forum to discuss issues surrounding your work.

  3. Corporate and Office Environments

    This forum is a catch-all for the nine-to-fivers, whether you're an administrative assistant, an executive, or anywhere in between.

  4. Health Care and Social Services

    If you work in health care, social services, hospice, or another related industry, your workplace questions can be addressed here.

  5. Law Enforcement and Emergency Response

    Law enforcement and corrections officers, firefighters, EMS employees, dispatchers, and others who work in emergency response can use this forum to discuss their workplace issues.

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  6. Service and Hospitality Industries

    Retail, food service, restaurant, hotel, and other service industry employees can find help with their workplace issues here.

  7. Other Fields

    If your career field doesn't have a specific category above, you can get advice on workplace issues here.

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  • Posts

    • Abi
      @ElizabethStar and @Sally Stone, that is exactly why I said I am on the fence with sharing the pictures I have made of myself. @Heathick please do not take this as any kind of an attack on you or anyone that wants to share these. Like I said, I love this app. I just see how this could not only make some of us feel off for the day when we can't get the desired pick we want but, it could even make other people that are seeing these feel down too. I really am not meaning to harm your thread. I'm very sorry. 
    • HollyNoel
      @ElizabethStarI don't think those guys will say anything out in the open to you, it sounds like both the owner and your boss would fire any of them for purposely hurting you by calling you anything but Elizabeth or she/her/Ms/Miss/or Ma'am. Or just basically disrespecting you. To be honest, I think I like your employer, very nice to our community by making sure you are taken care of by paying for anything you might need. I'm so jealous of you Love, I still have people in my house that is having a hard time just calling me Holly. lol
    • HollyNoel
      @MomTGDaughterThat's really beautiful that shes letting you name her being that shes the girl shes always meant to be. It's the reason why I wanted to go by Holly Noel, going to drop Noel for Elizabeth. Never really felt Noel was quite right. Elizabeth is a much prettier name. If only the damned doctor wasn't so set on me being a boy. All of this could have been avoided. MEN! LOL.   I found out that the fee to change your name here in Illinois is set way to high at $327, I just found out tonight you can petition the court for a fee waver if you are on state assistance or at what is considered "low income". I am on SSD because of medical issues, so I should be eligible for this fee waver. I'm going to contact the courthouse and see about applying, I may also be able to skip the newspaper part because of the cost. Hopefully real soon I will officially and legally be Holly Elizabeth instead of Michael Andrew (sorry Mom).
    • VickySGV
      Welcome to the Forums Kendra.  It is a relief when we can get ourselves out and going, and it gets better all the time.
    • ElizabethStar
      I have to agree, it can be really scary. Everyone at my job has known about me transitioning for the last few months, I've been pretty open about it. My fears had dissipated but have been reignited  since they changed my name for me on Thursday/Friday. When I get to work tomorrow I have to enter through the warehouse where all the techs gather in the mornings (the front entrance is closed for remodeling) I have to walk-through them and everyone else in the building to get to my desk. I'm a little scared of walking through a gauntlet of service guys. I will be really surprised if no-one says any thing besides good morning.
    • Astrid
      Hello, Vittoria!  You will find many others here with stories similar to your own, and support for your journey.  Are there programs or people at the University that can offer assistance, perhaps?   With best wishes,   Astrid
    • Jandi
    • Jandi
      Hello Vittoria, and welcome.
    • KendraML
      Hi,I am Kendra and been living and dressing as female fulltime for 4 years now.There were times in my past I did try on my mom's clothing,this was when I was 14 and 15 years old while she was gone at work.I grew up with her raising me on her own,dad died when I was a year old.Then I went back living and dressing as a guy for a long time dumping the feeling to wear women's clothes again.It was a regret and the feelings came back in 2011 trying on my wife's clothes when she was gone.We were still dating at the time.Was caught finally one day and thought she was mad at me.She loved it and said I looked good in the dress of hers I tried on.We talked about it and it was part time at first going out dressed as a woman with her.I loved it more and plans changed in 2015,I wanted to go fulltime dressed as female in 2016 and began the hair removal process which took a year.It was getting boring to wear the male wardrobe and liked the female wardrobe more.Told my wife this and she was for it,liked me dressed as a woman more.Finally on January 1st,2016,said goodbye to my male side and began a new life as Kendra.My wife is still in my life and has loved it since,brought us together more.My mom,it took time to adjust to the changes having a new daughter in her life.Does know I live a happy life dressing as female.Have not looked back and love being a woman enjoying wearing women's clothes
    • Heathick
      For what it's worth, either for you, or for anyone in a similar position, I also have a strong background in tech and also in computer programming and security, and in my professional opinion, what @Niamh said is definitely accurate.
    • MomTGDaughter
      This is on my agenda for 2021 for my daughter, I want to wait for COVID-19 to fade away, however regardless she will be attending high school in a coupe of year and want her to have a full female identity by then. She is let me choose her new name and perhaps that is load off for her, she goes by this name now and when I started calling her by this name, her old name went south. Right now it's just making it a formality. 
    • Mmindy
      @Sally Stone, get out of my head. I've felt this very same way. I literally said these same words to my wife when I came out to her.   Hugs,   Mindy🐛🌈🦋👩🏼
    • Victoria_
      Hello, my name is Vittoria. I was born in the southern part of Sicily 22 years ago. My family is very very big. Fourteen uncles, twelve first cousin, a lot of second cousins, great-uncles, my grandparents, and my great grandmother. These are many people! In my father family I was the first nephew, the first great grandchild. They really wanted a male, but unfortunately I was born female. To be precise, my brain, my soul, my mind, we can call it in different ways) was female but not my body. My body was a boy body.  My childhood wasn’t happy. My mother wasn’t a loving person, and my father was always busy with work. I grew up with my grandparents, especially my grandmother, who now suffers from Alzheimer’s disease and isn’t able to recognize me. I love her so much. The only positive thing that I have in my childhood is my sister, the most special person that I ever met. I was a very happy and intelligent child. I liked to play, I loved animals, painted a lot. But the clouds were arriving for me. I didn’t like to be a boy. When I played with my cousins I enjoyed to pretend to be a famous actress from a tv series that we watched on TV. When my father discovered that became furious: “You can’t be Cettina! If you wanna play you must be Ciccio (another actor) because he is a boy like you!”. I really hated to be Ciccio. I liked to play with my sister with dolls, when my father discovered this, he hid the dolls and their wardrobe. When I was swimming in the sea I used to say “I’m a “papera”(female of duck), and he, with anger, replied “no, you are a “papero” (the male of duck). I was so sad. Some examples to explain how difficult was my situation. But I was very diligent and I wanted to make my parents happy and proud for me. I repressed myself. I was 4 years old. In that period the tics appeared. They’re still with me. My world became dark and scary. My father shouted at me, he didn’t accept that his son, who had the duty to bring up the honor and the name of the family, was a sick child, full of fear and tics. I was only a child and I wanted to die. It’s very hard to live with tics. I have a genetic predisposition for them, but the reproaches, the screams, made them worse and permanent, and eventually I have learned to accept them.  At school the situation was terrible. I was an excellent student, the first of the class but I was bullied from the first to the high school. I suffered insults and beatings. They called me “-awesome person-” because I was very feminine, I used to seat like a woman crossing the legs, I swayed my buttocks and my mother was furious for that. To make her happy, and to avoid to be bullied I started observing the other boys, their posture, their pose, to imitate them. For a lot of years I walked in a strange, semi-rigid and robotic way. I liked girls, but I liked boys too, and when one day, my parents found my chronology on Internet they took me to my room where I passed the worst night in my life. My father didn’t talk to me for a month, a month without a word. For a year he talked to me only to scold me and to despise me. It was a terrible period. I was a teenager and my body started to change, and it was terrible. My genitals always made me feel very strange, but when the mustache started to appear it was heartbreaking. I hated them with all my heart. When people started to say “Wow, your beard hair are appearing” I used to run away from them, to cry, full of anger. I hated my body, I hated my life, school, family, everything and so at 14 for the first time I tried to kill me. I’m afraid of heights, and I was on the banister of my roof, ready to jump. A voice in my head said that it wasn’t my fault. It wasn’t my fault if everything was going bad; maybe one day I would have had the opportunity to be happy. With the Beatles I thought “There will be an answer”. I didn’t jump.  After this there was a period of denial. I felt gulty, and I became very close with the Church. Maybe, I thought, if I pray a lot, God can save me, maybe I’m going to become priest so I won’t have temptations. The members of a Christian sect found me, a desperate teen that needed help and love, and that was a very dark period.  At the end of the high school I was probably one of the best student of my lyceum (I’m not very good only at English, so sorry if I made some mistakes), and I wasn’t sure about my future work. It was a coincidence and I tried a test in Rome (that is our Capital) to enter in an important University. We were ten thousand people and only 270 were allowed. I hadn’t studied for that test, I was only trying. I passed.  I started Medicine University and I leave my city, my family, my old life. It was scary on one hand, but on the other hand it helped me a lot. I found the strength to leave that insidious sect (the members that called me brother now hate me a lot), I met a lot of new friends, and after one year I met my girlfriend.  This is the happy ending? No! I wasn’t happy. Something inside me was bubbling. I handled my depression for a period, but there was something hidden inside me. During COVID-19 quarantine, I was only, due to lockdown, and it was an opportunity to think about my life, about my feelings, about the problem that I have with try body image. I didn’t know my problem. One evening in tv there was a film “The Danish girl”. I watched it. It changed everything. That night I didn’t sleep. That night I found the true myself. From that moment my journey started. I have a lot of problems and a lot of challenges to deal with. But now I know the true myself, I found the answer to the question that I did when I was attempting suicide. I know what I have to do to be happy.  Jackie Rabbit sent me. Her videos on YouTube are so beautiful and inspiring, she is helping a lot in this period.  Sorry for my very long story (and for my English!). I really like this forum and I hope that one day I will be able to tell you the rest of the story, the best part, the part that will have to be written.  Love, Vittoria.
    • Sally Stone
      Liz,   You aren't the only one that has issues with an app like this.  And really, I don't mean to disparage anyone who uses it for entertainment.  While I think it can be entertaining, my worry is that I would rely on the result to affirm myself.  There is already so much pressure in our society to look a certain way.  If the world is going to see me the way I am in reality, I think I want to see myself the same way.  Now, if the app could look beneath the skin and see my inner beauty, that would be an app I might actually try. 
    • ElizabethStar
      I forgot about the Indigo Girls. That brings me back to a simpler time in my life.
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