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  1. Halp, I effed up...

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  • Posts

    • MaryMary
      already, I hope it's not a transgender woman because the box say "*he* will make his dream come true"
    • MaryMary
      I listen to it and report back!  
    • Sally Stone
      The movie "Miss" was just released in France.  Yes, it is a French movie and I don't believe it has been released yet with English sub-titles.  It stars Alexandre Wetter as a young man seeking his sexual identity by participating in the Miss France beauty pageant.  This is one I plan to watch as soon as possible.     Here is the imdb link to the movie info and trailer: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt10123698/   If only I look half as beautiful as Alexandre.    
    • Jackie C.
      You know, I was joking but I dug into it and realized I can export FaceRig performances as a Blender file so I can clean them up and make them pretty.   Shame on your for giving me a project! I'm already behind on my to-do list for today.   Hugs!
    • MiloR
      Hey you all, thank you for sharing your views on this.   @Noah A, thank you for what you're saying about fear. I've already tried more masculine clothes and I was so euphoric with them I was dancing in front of the mirror after buying them, you know... So I won't deny I like them, and feel more appropriate in them. But sometimes I feel like I could regret it, being masculine. I don't know. I think it's the fear that makes me think that way. And for shoes, god, I would really really love to have men's shoes and I'm not fond of sneakers, so finding masculine boots at my size feels like a real challenge... And it's getting harder and harder to just go shopping theses days with the covid, so...   @Niamh, thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. I'm aware it's an important matter in relationships and I'm having trouble making even my name accepted by my family, so it's going to be a long journey, I feel. But I really wish to be more "me" and they aren't really helping, at the moment 😕   @DonkeySocks Yes I think you're perfectly right about saying someone taught me to feel that way. I was raised with the idea a girl is supposed to be attractive to be liked so being "beautiful" was a way of pleasing my parents and being loved. So... That pattern is hard to let go of. And yes, I think you have a point in saying I must separate real fears from shame. Oh, and I think I might have had internalised transphobia too (because I had internalised homophobia for a time too and it was hard to get rid of it too earlier in my life), so don't worry about talking about it, this is a very interesting matter to me. And for the haircut, I experienced exatcly what you said when I had it cut short last time. The hairdresser said something like "you don't want it short like a man, do you ?" and I just retracted out of fear of being ugly or inappropriate and ended up having longer hair than I initially wanted so... I was a half-victory there... Next time I'll insist. Thank you for reminding me.
    • jae bear
      LOL! Now that would be pretty cool! Maybe the channel needs to be run by an animated rabbit? The only problem with my connection to animation is that I come from Rogers side of the family and not Jessica’s!
    • Sally Stone
      Well, Val, I think my outfit was quite well-received.  Nobody I interfaced with went running away screaming, so that was positive.  I won't lie, the color combination of my outfit and the new booties, had me feeling like a million bucks. 
    • DonkeySocks
      About the haircut... maybe you feel like you'd be losing something because this is the first time you'd have it cut short expressly to reveal your gender identity to yourself and others? It could feel like more a point of no return if you're doing it for reasons like that and not only for fashion.   I have long hair again now, but when I went to have my first short haircut with the purpose of masculinizing my image, the hairdresser chickened out and wouldn't cut it as short as I wanted. Definitely show a picture and specify that you want it boyish. If you have nice, long hair some stylists might be disinclined to take it all off. I should have been more insistent. Be specific.
    • Aidan5
      I caNT BREATHE HAHAHAH MY little sister was playing on the recliner and I am doing school work so I can't really see her, but my stepmom is also sitting on the recliner. SO all I hear, is "Weeeee!" and then a crash (She knocked over her little toy icecream stand) (She is okay) Just the "Weeeee!" followed by a crashed made me laugh so hard xDD
    • Jackie C.
      Chapter IV: A New Hope   So yeah, today's challenge was paperwork! My surgeon has a new hospital affiliation so I needed to fill out absolutely everything about my medical history and sign up with the new system. Some of the questions were really invasive. I mean, why do they want to know my favorite color? And why is it important that they know when I shower?   Getting geared up for the revision surgery on December 16th. No drains and no hospital stay this time. I'll be spending a week out of state mostly by myself in a hotel room with a catheter. I guess with a catheter, you're never REALLY alone, but I expect to fill the time with writing and sketching. In a small way it'll be a relief to not have my wife hovering over me and worrying. There will be a lot of takeout and room service in my future. I'm NOT trekking all over an unfamiliar city with a catheter bag in one hand. I'm just not.   Hugs!
    • DonkeySocks
      @MiloR, track that shame down. Somebody taught you to feel it. Find out where it comes from in your life. It could be longstanding. But admittedly, it can sometimes and in certain cases be dangerous presenting how we want to. So separate out completely false shame from fears that have truth in them. Then you can weigh your options more realistically.   @Jandi, re: the internalized transphobia--ugh. It is absolutely a real thing, as you say. I can't believe some of the ugliness that cropped up in me when I first came to this forum. Some of the prejudices and ugly thoughts I had when I read some of the posts. It had to be deeply ingrained and I'm glad to have role models online to show how NOT to go down that road. I had some of it come up when I looked at the reddit transgender positive group. Looking at it enough made me begin to change my thoughts. But I had to become aware of them first. I don't even know where some of this trash came from, but it's probably twisted up with feeling like what I am is wrong or offensive, so I should be offended in turn. Anyway, not to derail Milo's post, just... yeah, internalized transphobia is something I've been forced to look at lately.
    • Niamh
      For years and years I thought my need to experience being a woman was deeply shameful and I feared ever telling anyone about it let alone the possibility of going out in the big bad world as a woman. But once I had made the step of revealing this need to my wife and getting help from a therapist and people like in this forum I began to realise that there IS NO SHAME in being transgender and now I am proud to be who and what I am.    My only shame is in having been so afraid of revealing how I needed to be to my wife in all those years and that I caused so much hurt to my wife as a result of the lies and hiding of the truth. It's getting better now and she accepts how I am, although has difficulty supporting me.  But when I am Niamh, I feel no shame, and should never do so again. 
    • Noah A
      First of all, I totally agree that fear never goes away until you do it and, until one day you look back and think "what was I so scared about?"   I had the same problem of being afraid of losing parts of myself, and needing to taste the waters first. What I did (and still am doing as of today) is to take it in baby steps. I.e. about the hair cut - you go to a hairdresser and get a short cut, even if it still is woman-style. It's a big step but you have not totally crossed the lines. About clothes - you choose a t-shirt and a button down that look masculine, but combine them with feminine pants that hug your hips. You get the idea. And with every thing you try, you pay attention if it feels right or not.    I totally get the feeling of needing to rush into it. But it actually makes it harder. Small steps get you there faster, because you don't have to deal with so much inner resistance. And truth is, no body is gonna blink an eye at a girl with jeans and a shirt in France, the fear is all ours.   Ah! By the way, something that really helps me... because I might be going in the male direction but I'm gayer than gay... Pick the right shoes, and it's the deal. I don't know what's your style (sneakers, boots, whatever works for you). I put on my low cowboy boots and I feel the kingy queen (???) 
    • Astrid
      Early ballot acknowledged as being received 🙂
    • MiloR
      Don't worry @Jackie C. 😄 But take this nap if you need it though, it's better to be well-rested 😊 Ah, well thanks for sharing @Jandi it made me laugh, it's a good comic 😄 And I get what you say about the beard, I think it was the same with my makeup for a time, I was hiding behind a ton of lipstick to feel safe. Glad it's behind me.
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