Other Fields

Hello Spence!  This is a energizing place to find others just like you. I too do not know anyone in person who is trans except my gender therapist.  This forum has been an excellent source of acceptance and knowledge for me.   Im glad you found us!

Welcome Spence. You’ve come to the right place for good discussion, friendship, knowledge and sometimes on occasion we toss a little wisdom into the mix. So join in the discussions and feel free to share a bit about yourself if you like.   Warmest Regards, Susan R🌷

Hello my brothers,   A while back, one of my coworkers pointed out to me that I dressed like a college boy. It was a wake-up call for me. It brought to light that I actually have no clue what I'm doing with my clothes.   So, Any advice for finding a style that suits you?  And where do I find men's clothes that fit? Men's fashion magazine recommendations? Websites?   I'm wired to pick up shoes and tees that young women would buy, but I have no clue what is actually popular and liked by other men. Hold on just a second, I need to phone someone... *brrrrinnngg* *brrriiiiiing* (Hey GOD, having a childhood where I could have grown up surrounded by other boys 24/7 woulda been REEEAL nice, you hear me, punk!? Huh!? Maybe I'd know what shoes to buy! ...Though I have to say, the locker room situation was nice... lots of good memories on the girls' side in Middle School... but where were we. I'm not through with you, yet!) *bleeeep*   Okay you guys, I have to go fight with Christ, so I'll be back to read your comments.   Thanks!      

Hey everyone! My name is Spencer, but you can call me Spence.    I started T over 2 years ago. I came here for a sense of community and belonging, since I don't know any other transgender people in person.    

That should be interesting...you’ll have to share how it all went.  I will be doing the same in the next few weeks if all works out.

Well I finally brought it up to her a few days ago and she was ready to deal with it, and to my surprise and relief, she was agreeable to everything that I had proposed.  I think she just wants to get this separation over with so we can stop living together under this cloud.  It will still take a while though as I need to get a mortgage to keep the condo and pay her the share of our assets and then she will have to find a condo for herself, get a mortgage and close and move out.  That all takes months.  I can't wait to start living as Donna full time. 

We now know a judge to avoid.  He could and may find himself up on judicial ethics violation charges in the future.  I was just reading something from an actual elected trial judge about that sort of thing.  

Hi, Dillon. I live with my mom, and she is very resistant to my transition. She doesn’t even like to talk about it.  But she is getting better about it. She even took me to my appointment to get my first testosterone shot recently, which is huge for her!  Having parents who support you is such a comfort, but many of us don’t have that. But that can change over time. My family is starting to use my preferred name and pronouns, if only sporadically. I try to take each correctly gendered occasion as a small personal victory.  Celebrate the little things on your journey. Big things are coming!

Better yet, go into a beauty supply store that has clip in hair extensions, (the same type of store that sells the dye) and buy one or two colors of the cheapest ones to try out, and then you will do even less than the damage even dye would.  The extensions are fun to use and do not cost much in synthetic hair types. https://www.sallybeauty.com/color-strip-clip-in-hair-extension/HAIRDO2.html   I buy things at Sally Beauty supply but other places have them too. 

https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2020/01/trump-appointed-judge-rules-trans-people-no-right-called-personal-pronouns/     Carolyn Marie

You are probably better off discussing your physical options with a physician. Maybe you've already done that. There are other FtM members here who could also offer helpful advice. I wish you the best of luck! Believe me, I relate to your feelings of dysphoria.   Hugs,   Robin68

Hello everyone. I would like to thank you very much for your responses and I would also like to apologize for not doing so earlier. After reading your responses (and some that I have received elsewhere) I've been spending a lot of time reflecting on my options and the future. I'm actually still thinking about it right now, I am truly not sure which path I will take exactly at this moment. However, I should not have neglected to respond to all of you, that have helped give me some peace of mind. I am no longer panicking as I was before, when I felt I had a biological time bomb on my person. The fact that I was able to take my time thinking about this at all is in large part thanks to you all.   Vicky, your kind words despite my fumbling around with these forums in my panic were invaluable to me. As I mentioned earlier I do not interact with many people neither irl nor online and that first mistake I made nearly convinced me to keep things that way; until I received your words of encouragement. Thank you for welcoming me to these forums so kindly.   Jani, your quick response helped me feel connected to other people like me when until now I've felt almost completely alone in these matters. Your reminder that the body's response to any hormone can be dictated in large part by genetics was the first thing that took my mind off the feeling that I had allowed myself to miss my one chance to live like I wanted. I have to remember that it is never too late to change.   Jackie, your words helped put things into perspective. Sometimes, I admit, I feel old at my age already. I felt like I had allowed my body to miss any and all chances to grow the way I wanted it to, but that changed a little reading your response. Knowing of someone that had felt the same way I was feeling in that moment, and was now happy with their appearance, really shook me off that state of mind. I cannot change the past, but that fact doesn't mean I can no longer be happy with my self.   Shawna, thanks for your answer. I really wish I could have gotten HRT before puberty but I didn't even know any of this was even possible. I don't know if I'll ever be entirely rid of that regret but you are right. It is what it is. I can only look forward, I cannot let the past prevent me from enjoying the present and the future.   Once more thank you to everyone. Since I posted these questions I've done some more digging around and found a group of people that may be able to help me getting HRT in my city if I wish to take that path. At the moment, I feel like that may be what I will do. However, I am taking my time to decide these things, and that is a big change from before. I was ready to start any kind of treatment however I could get it. Now I feel I don't have to take such drastic actions in order to secure my happiness. My anxiety is not entirely gone, but I am able to manage it more easily thanks to the help of people like you ladies.

I did talk to her mom on the phone too.She is glad I do treat her right and she did ask me this.I plan to be there when they reunite.

Thanks Jani & @SaraAW ...it has been so nice.  I hope to learn more about my bio family in time now that I’ve unlocked Pandora’s box.   I wish you and Nikki the best of luck on your reunion. Hopefully, Nikki will get all the answers about her bio mom & family she’s been searching for all her life.   Susan R🌷

I highly recommend aikido as a self-defense martial art. I did it for only a couple of years, but I understand enough of it to see that it is a great way to get out of/end trouble. There are no strikes in it. It is only defense. I wish that my old dojo were still open. I’d be there every week.