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Maybe a little late, but Happy Transgender Day to all!   Hugs, Brandi

Thank you for the thoughtful response. Like you say, hormones are driving some of this and it is difficult to divorce yourself from them. I think you have a good point also about there being a difference between wanting and knowing. It is difficult for me to really tell the difference right now and to explore the feelings I have involves overcoming a lot of self-imposed (but not rational) guilt and fear. It does not help that I am taking these first steps so many years into my life. I feel like society has generally changed in some areas where talking about these types of feelings are less frowned upon, however, it doesn't help when you have internalized them. I have never particularly enjoyed looking at myself in the mirror as a man, but I also am not sure how I feel about having a female identity also.   I hope to find that out. 

Welcome Jett!   Hugs, Brandi

According to the Mayo Clinic eight 8 oz glasses per day is reasonable, but that can vary depending on the person or level of activity. Also spiro is a diuretic and needs to be taken into account.   https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/nutrition-and-healthy-eating/in-depth/water/art-20044256   Hugs, Brandi

There's a lot to unpack in what you"re asking Konstantine but I don't think the sexual nature of your experience precludes you from being on the transgender spectrum somewhere. Although it may look like a fetish to you or to an outsider, I think your story is similar to many in this lgbTQ* community. One possible explanation is hormone "poisoning" (my term). Although I "always knew", once I started on HRT, I completely lost interest sex which made it a lot easier to sort out my gender feelings. That being said, I think there is a fine line between KNOWING you are a given gender and WANTING to be the opposite sex.  It's my personal belief that those who merely WANT to be the opposite sex are the ones who end up regretting their transition. You have a lot to figure out and I'm glad you're working with a counselor. Between that person and this forum, I think you'll find many of the answers you're looking for. Keep questioning.  sometimes the same question asked a different way will flip the switch. 

Haha. I hadn’t but I went back and read some now. It’s amazing what just a little time will do for a girl! It really is just building confidence. Small steps to get to big goals. It really helps having all the help and support from here though. Reading everyone’s stories really helps to keep things in perspective. To follow, walk with, and teach how we get through the obstacles brings a semblance of order to an otherwise chaotic process. And the joy of the results is like nothing else.     I did have a question though. And it’s probably silly but how much water should I be drinking daily? I’m at close to a gallon per day. It seems a little high. I also have 2 glasses of milk, 1 diet soda, and 2coffees. Literally drinking all day. All my test results were “perfect”. But it becomes a chore drinking all this fluid. Lol. Especially for work. I work out of a truck all day so bathrooms aren’t readily available. 😕  if anyone actually knows if there’s a formula or something please lemme know. Thanks.  ❤️Kirsten

I have been thinking it over lately,dressing fulltime as Korey and always wanted to do this.Been in my mind for 6 years now.My wife and I had the talk about this last night,we are on the same page.She knows I always have the talk with her on things instead of making the decision myself without her knowing.Also had the talk with my family today,on the same page too.They have always seen me as the feminine son/brother and want to see what is best for me.My daughter and two sons were talked to this morning,said they will accept the changes and love me as their dad still.Plans to dress fulltime as Korey are going to start in August and not going back.

https://www.aclu.org/blog/lgbt-rights/transgender-rights/federal-court-philadelphia-joins-growing-chorus-defending-trans   I'm glad we have the ACLU even though i can remember times when i wish they hadn't been right.   Hugs,   Charlize

Hello All,   I thought I would join the forum to get some advice from people further along on their journey of self-discovery. I apologize if this is a little lengthy and veers a little towards the sexual in nature, but it is necessary to explain my situation.   Recently, after a period of extreme stress, I came to the realization that I was repressing a female part of my personality. I am not sure how I feel about this or if I really know who I am (a crossdresser, trans, something in between).  I know I shouldn't be trying to put labels on things but not knowing is giving me extreme anxiety. I am talking to a counselor about this, but think it would help me if I heard from some other people on this. I am trying to be honest with myself now so I can just live my life without feeling constantly unsettled and uncomfortable. Maybe part of this is an internalized phobia of discovering things about myself that I am just not prepared to deal with.   Just to tell a short version of my story, i've always enjoyed wearing women's clothes since I was 13. It was almost always sexual in nature. After achieving my sexual needs, I would feel sick about it and then stop. I spent a lot of time around transgender women in my teens since I lived in several countries where it was socially accepted to be trans. I always found them very attractive and beautiful. I now realize with hindsight I am not sure if I was just sexually attracted to them or wanted to be them or both. I stopped crossdressing into my 20's as I thought it more socially acceptable to just watch pornography. I have almost exclusively watching transgender pornography now for the majority of my adult life. I can say with honesty in my daily life I have never been really sexually attracted to men, but when I watch pornography, I often times imagine I am the women.  This progressed into me almost exclusively watching pornography where men are tricked into becoming women and also pornography that is filmed from a woman's perspective. I understand if this type of pornography is offensive to some here, but I want to be honest about my situation.   As is obvious to you and to me now, I have an unhealthy relationship with this, and I have decided to stop watching it and try embracing whatever feelings I may have. The issue is I still have sexual feelings when I think about dressing up, but I am also excited and happy about trying to present as a woman.  I have started to try to learn to embrace this side of me, but I am not sure where it is going to lead. Regardless of what I do now, I feel anxiety. I would like to say this all sounds like garden variety crossdressing, but I am not sure if it is more, and I am not sure if I am ready to make it more.    I wanted to know if anyone has had these types of experiences and where they ended up or how they dealt with them.   Thanks for taking the time to respond.      

An interesting article. To me it shows more about what we don't know than what we do!   Tracy

It varies a bit here. I remember being on holiday on the west coast of the country (Lancashire) a couple of years ago. That place was scary as honking and shouting were commonplace with people cutting each other up. It happens here in the east but it is much quieter here although incidents happen. Road rage often seems to increases as the temperature rises. I do sometimes wonder why they are putting 50 limits on many roads as, when I drive at 50mph, a queue soon builds up behind me. Before the limit was there people would just pass without issue. The dangerous drivers still do anyway. When I was working in the job which took me around the county etc, I just drove to get there in reasonable time. I was not fussed by fast or slow drivers, just moved. Sometimes I used to get irritated but road rage is just bad and counter-productive.   Tracy

Hi Newguy   Welcome   Tracy

Non-binary folks are those with dysphoria who aren't fully compelled to transition from birth to the entirely opposite gender.  It's also a gender designation, rather than a sexual orientation.

Ouch, that's hot!  

Interestingly I was reading the other day that there were more B folks than L, G or T.  I hope I'm not conflating Non-Binary and Bi-Sexual.  If so I apologize.     https://www.thedailybeast.com/why-bisexuals-feel-ignored-and-insulted-at-lgbt-pride?ref=home   It does seem this community that has gotten even less attention and care than transgender.       Jani