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This forum is for information about and reviews of products you use in order to feel more authentic during your transition.  Packers, breast forms, whatever it may be - share your experiences here.  Remember, we do not allow advertisements or sales pitches.

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  1. DIY Packer Harness

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  2. Archer Packer (Large)

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  3. Selene Gaff?

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  4. Almost feel foolish asking.

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  5. Dermablend Concealers

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  • Posts

    • Carolyn Marie
      Welcome to Trans Pulse, Devin.  Big congrats on your progress so far.  That's great for someone so young.  Please have a look around and post in any thread that looks interesting, or start some threads of your own.  We'll be here to provide whatever advice or info that we can.   HUGS   Carolyn Marie
    • Jackie C.
      Meh, labels. The only one that matters is "Devin." Welcome to Transpulse!   I think you'll find us a welcoming and supportive community. Please look around, ask questions and join the discussion! We're happy to meet you!   Hugs!
    • Jackie C.
      Oh ouch. Sorry to hear that @TammyAnne. The finger thing, not the laser hair removal thing. I'm happy about the laser so long as it doesn't turn you into a crispy critter (I personally go up like a magnesium flare with lasers, but as you can see I'm about two shades darker than 'Albino.').   Hugs!
    • Devin
      Hello everyone! My name is Devin. I am 19 years old and identify as non-binary. Sometimes I will also call myself transmasculine. As far as my romantic and sexual orientation goes, I mostly just call myself queer because I am unsure of how to identify. Also, most orientations assume you are a binary gender, which I am not. I have a younger sibling who is also trans/nb. I have been out as trans for about three years. I have a top surgery consult in March, and hopefully will have surgery in May or June. My parents are making me wait to start testosterone until after I have top surgery. My parents are my legal guardians, so even though I am over 18, I can not make medical decisions without their consent. I am fortunate to have had my name legally changed when I was under 18.  I recently just got my gender marker on my driver's license to say "X".
    • DeeDee
      Water, is definitely top of the list. Ice water is better than lukewarm water. Hydration is so important! Also things like grape/prune/pineapple juice and overripe bananas but definitely keep an eye on it. Also Hi  
    • Jackie C.
      Seriously, we're all different. The only label that matters is "You." You need to do whatever it is that makes you comfortable in your own body. Nothing else really matters.   Hugs!
    • Jackie C.
      OK, firstly yes there are support groups for families of transgender people. In our community, it's about twenty minutes from here. Susan went once, did not care for the vibe and never went back. Your mileage may, of course, vary.   So as to the actual conversation. Have a plan B. What do you do if she takes it poorly? Spend some time thinking about that. I didn't and got lucky. There's no guarantee that you won't need someplace to crash afterwards. Now, I don't personally know anyone that's been immediately kicked out of the house (extreme example), plan for the worst, hope for the best, right?   My therapist told me that I should walk my wife into this. I was supposed to start with cross dressing and say it was a purely sexual thing, then work my way up to coming out as trans. I didn't do that. I sat down on the bed and said I had something important to tell her. That immediately put her on the defensive, so you might want to ease into it a little more than I did. Next I opened with a joke. Not a great joke, but I thought, "Let's walk back the tension." That was an awful idea. Don't do that. I came straight out after that and said, "Well, I'm trans."   That took her a minute to process. I let her have it. I sat beside her and waited. After a very long pause that felt like hours, she slowly nodded and decided that she was OK with it. In so many words she said, "I think I'm OK with this. I like boobs." Then we kissed. She had more questions afterwards. The first one was, "Have you been wearing my underwear?" Of course I wasn't. There was no possible way I'd even fit into her underwear. Besides, I'd bought my own.   Then came a couple of ground rules. At first, she wasn't ready to see me dressed until she had some more time to process things. I was fine with that and asked that she give me a warning call when she was on her way home so I could change. She had more questions, so we came up with a system where she'd write down what she thought of during the week and on the weekends I'd answer all her questions to the best of my ability. During this time I reassured her often that while I was finally moving ahead with my life, I very much wanted to take her with me. To some extent we're still doing that and I'm coming up on GCS in ten days. She'll be accompanying me to the doctor and changing my catheter bag until the doctor takes it out a week later.   The ground rules lasted about a month before she asked to see me how I wanted to be seen. She gave my (very fake) breasts a squeeze. I wasn't on HRT yet. Not that they're much to look at even with the hormones. I could really, really use a visit from the boob fairy. Then we hugged, kissed and that was the end of that. I could be Robyn full time. She still has questions sometimes and I always do my best to answer them, but it's not like we ever really finish turning into the person we're supposed to be until we lay down to die.   I hope you find some of that useful. I value honesty too and it was killing me not to let Susan know.   Hugs!
    • DeeDee
      Tristantulaine, it can be really be disconcerting to open up and share the things that are bothering us, especially when we haven't told anyone else. One of the reasons this site is fantastic is because you can open up here and know that the worst thing that will happen is that people know and understand how you feel.  Don't worry about finding the right label, they are handy to express what you are thinking and feeling but just get to that place where you are happy being you no matter where that is. 
    • Jackie C.
      Oh, derp. Also forgot water. Drink lots and lots of fluids. It helps immensely.   Hugs!
    • TammyAnne
      Well, it seems that I must have broken my finger. So much for finger picking on my guitar. I'm going to have to splint the silly thing and make do for a while. TA
    • Tristantulaine
      Thank you.  That post was so terrifying to write, I think because there was this weird part of me going: "your being too open and personal about stuff you shouldn't talk about" that comes from a very strict upbringing.  Simultaneously there was a part of me saying: "your not enough to post here, you dont know what you want yet so this is not ok."  I appreciate this so much!   I think the biggest issue I am struggling with through it is this entire urge to define it and put a label on it.  Which is why it was a relief to say this is ok for now (of course the ensuing freakout really undermines that lol) People have told me I have body dysmorphia for a bit now,  it isnt a secret that I am not happy with my top, and that a reduction will make it better.  But I know it isnt just that.  There is a lack of "girl" and yet not quite a "boy" that I feel.  I like the word Androgyne.  It feels "right" somehow.
    • TammyAnne
      Out of the four big surgeries I had, two of them really put my digestive tract to sleep for a while. I wasn't supposed to be discharged from hospital until things woke back up, but I was on heavy opiodes  and things weren't much more than a rumble. Oatmeal is very good for that. It is very normal to have severe constipation from the painkillers. However, if your kidneys also shut down, or your digestive tract doesn't "wake up" after two weeks, get to the doctor! You will know if things are working. Just the feeling of things going on will alert you. TA
    • TammyAnne
      Finished coffee a long while back. Then spent three hours shaving to get ready for my first laser hair removal appointment tomorrow. I hope they're not too stringent about my shaving, it's difficult to reach some places. After shave I felt around, then took my balding clippers to leftover fuzzy places hoping it won't grow in too fast. Caution: never use the clippers on your tender parts, I found that out the hard way years ago. And of course, I'm such a dummy. I always keep my backup data RAID with me on in a safe place. I bent over to unplug it, lost my balance starting to fall. But when I reached out to catch myself, all my weight went on the middle finger of my right hand, bending it backwards severely. It's sore and swollen, but I guess I'll be alright. Just red faced. TA
    • secondlook
      I really sympathize, Isaac. When I had my gallbladder out years ago, the surgeon warned me as he was writing the prescription that I would have great difficulty with bowel movements unless I could resist the urge to take the vicodin he was prescribing. Basically he was telling me to "man up" and deal with the pain so that my intestines would function properly. I tried to split the difference and skip every other opportunity when I could've taken the pills, and it was brutal. I can't believe they still haven't come up with better options. I'm sorry you're dealing with this same quandary, and I'm sorry I can't be more helpful. But I'm pulling for you!
    • secondlook
      I'm still dreading the biggest conversation I need to have, telling my wife that her husband is going to become a woman. I'm also eager to have that conversation, because I'm big on honesty and also because it's a necessary step before I can make any real progress.   What I'm hoping some of you can help me with is this -- what does a good coming out experience to one's wife look like? To be clear, I'm not expecting her to jump for joy or be anything other than shocked and upset initially, and maybe for quite some time. But for those of you who can say it went more right than wrong, what does that look like? Did you feel like there were certain key moments that if you had handled poorly, it could've gone terribly wrong? Were there resources or links that helped her understand? Are there support groups for women whose husbands come out as transgender? Bottom line, are there respectful, gentle ways I can help her understand that this is a journey on which I want her to come along, and it's not me leaving her behind?   And of course this is a topic I will discuss with my therapist, hopefully as soon as this week. I just was thinking maybe someone would have some relatively positive stories to share.
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