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Suicide Prevention

Most transgender people have attempted suicide at least once in their lives. If you have, please lend your support here to those who are having a bad time now. Suicide is never the answer. If you are suicidal, call the Trans Lifeline at (877) 565-8860 in the US or (877) 330-6366 in Canada, or log in to our live chat room and ask to speak with a crisis moderator.


1,419 topics in this forum

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  1. Can't take it much longer... 1 2

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  2. Pandemic Stats

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  3. Thoughts of death

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  4. Bit of an update from me. 1 2

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  5. I do not want really but I have to.

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  6. I don't even know anymore 1 2

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  7. losing people to suicide tw

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  8. Deep depression

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  9. starting to break

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  10. Doing Much Better

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  11. I just really give up 1 2

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  12. Kinda new 1 2

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  13. Stop talking at me

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  14. Suicide Years After SRS

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  • Who's Online   7 Members, 0 Anonymous, 66 Guests (See full list)

    • Susan R
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  • Posts

    • Susan R
      Welcome @KendraML. It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m glad you joined us here. You’ll fit right in, I’m sure. Life is seemingly easier to maintain once you make the switch to one gender or the other or the other. There are others that enjoy the change back and forth but it wasn’t for me. I remember a time I had to switch clothing every time I went out and it was difficult trying to hide it all from my neighbors. Luckily, that didn’t last too long.   You’ll probably agree it’s makes all the difference in the world to have a supportive wife like yours helping with your transition. You’re a very lucky girl. Your wife is likely an incredible person with great understanding and empathy. Also, that’s greats news about your mom and your 16 y.o. son. That’s nice to have so much support within your family.   I would enjoy hearing much more about you and your journey. Many of us here are learning as we go and would benefit from some of your life lessons learned, advice or whatever you’d care to share.   Warmest Regards, Susan R🌷
    • Kestrel McLoughlin
      Hi there Kendra,   While I'm sure you've had your share of challenges, the support and onboarding of your wife is the breath of fresh air a lot of us need right now. I'm so happy you have a partner who was right there for you!
    • KendraML
      She is and has always loved feminine men.Has dated the most masculine men in the past and found them boring.When she caught me wearing that dress,knew it was me knowing I have always wanted to dress as a woman
    • Heathick
      As much as that deeply resonates with me, I feel like it's more complicated in my case. I've always had very strong desires of "wanting 'her'", and I often still do, but over the last number of years, more and more I find my thoughts of "wanting 'her'" are competing more and more with "I want to BE her!!!", and lately, I feel like latter has the edge.   But its always jumbled up and mixed for me. I'll spend hours wondering "what in the world was I thinking? I'm totally fine being AMAB male! Just as I've always been!", and then BOOM!, I'm out at a store, and I see other women, with their feminine bodies, dressed in their feminine apparel, maybe with other feminine adornments or accessories and my envy just goes straight into overdrive and at this point any time I see a remotely pretty lady anywhere, I have weird conflicting feelings involving some seemingly random combination of desire and/or envy, or, very often, both.
    • Kestrel McLoughlin
      Also this shirt has literally stopped traffic. Someone stopped in the middle of an intersection to declare its glory. To say nothing of the smoky woman who smouldered at me, “...And I’ll bet you’ve been to all those places, too...”   That would have been creepy, but she since vindicated herself as solid people: she squeezed my arm and whispered a thanks to me after I offered a disrupting comment at the workplace self-congratulatory pink shirt day.    “Also, let’s remember that there are... invisible kinds of diversity, and not only must we speculate how to bring in further diversity, but also recognize the extent to which that diversity already exists among us; and a good omen of how healthy a workplace is is the extent to which your colleagues want to share that with you.”   That got them thinkin...
    • Carolyn Marie
      It certainly is a big deal, Holly, and you have every reason to be excited about it.  Another few weeks or maybe 2-3 months are you'll start seeing changes, so every week brings you closer to those goals.  Congrats!   HUGS   Carolyn Marie
    • Kestrel McLoughlin
      Thank you Abi, you're right, of course. I'll keep talking about it, I'll just always be gentle with people.   Berni, yes! Even when even more thoroughly in the closet, I noticed that the more formally I dressed, the more femme I looked. A white shirt, bowtie, hair parted and tucked? FLAMING LESBIAN IN DISGUISE AS MAN LOOK EVERYONE  I kinda love that; and yes, I too will be keeping my spiffiest masculine clothing, because the aesthetic of a woman wearing that kind of attire can be killer. A little make-up, cascading hair, hopefully some perky little breasts, I can rock that look......   All my love, everyone. You're good people. And fun!
    • Heathick
      And BTW, totally with you on finding men's clothes boring! Every time I look at my non-secret wardrobe, I  see bland, bland, boring, yet more earth-tones, boring, bland! My profile pic is a total digital fabrication, I'm nowhere near being fulltime, or remotely parttime woman (much as my heart desires it - heck, I even have a beard), but OMG, I am sooo happy for you!!! That must feel so wonderful to not only transition and come out but to have the support of a wonderful woman partner through every step of the way! Eeeee!, I just find that to be sweetness overload!   Best wishes, and welcome!!!
    • Heathick
      OMG, your wife sounds like the sweetest, most wonderful woman in the world! That is so AMAZING for you! I want a wife like her!!!
    • Heathick
      I love that idea!!!
    • HollyNoel
      Yeah tomorrow September 28th 2020 will be my first full week on HRT. I'm excited for the first week to be over. I know that It's really not that big of a deal, many of us girls have done it, but it kinda is to me. For me HRT is a huge step, I see it as something I shouldn't take lightly, and I don't. So this first week is a huge deal for me. Soon I will be celebrating my second, third, fourth, and so on, and at each week that passes I will think the same thing, One small step for me, one giant leap for my Womanhood! Like I said, it may not be a big deal for everyone else, but this is one of the biggest life-changing things I've ever done for both my sanity and me physically.
    • Abi
      @ElizabethStar and @Sally Stone, that is exactly why I said I am on the fence with sharing the pictures I have made of myself. @Heathick please do not take this as any kind of an attack on you or anyone that wants to share these. Like I said, I love this app. I just see how this could not only make some of us feel off for the day when we can't get the desired pick we want but, it could even make other people that are seeing these feel down too. I really am not meaning to harm your thread. I'm very sorry. 
    • HollyNoel
      @ElizabethStarI don't think those guys will say anything out in the open to you, it sounds like both the owner and your boss would fire any of them for purposely hurting you by calling you anything but Elizabeth or she/her/Ms/Miss/or Ma'am. Or just basically disrespecting you. To be honest, I think I like your employer, very nice to our community by making sure you are taken care of by paying for anything you might need. I'm so jealous of you Love, I still have people in my house that is having a hard time just calling me Holly. lol
    • HollyNoel
      @MomTGDaughterThat's really beautiful that shes letting you name her being that shes the girl shes always meant to be. It's the reason why I wanted to go by Holly Noel, going to drop Noel for Elizabeth. Never really felt Noel was quite right. Elizabeth is a much prettier name. If only the damned doctor wasn't so set on me being a boy. All of this could have been avoided. MEN! LOL.   I found out that the fee to change your name here in Illinois is set way to high at $327, I just found out tonight you can petition the court for a fee waver if you are on state assistance or at what is considered "low income". I am on SSD because of medical issues, so I should be eligible for this fee waver. I'm going to contact the courthouse and see about applying, I may also be able to skip the newspaper part because of the cost. Hopefully real soon I will officially and legally be Holly Elizabeth instead of Michael Andrew (sorry Mom).
    • KendraML
      It has been better ever since dressing fulltime.I love life as Kendra now.Everytime I see the pictures of my male side,say he is dead and not coming back.My male wardrobe went goodbye as well too which is all women's clothing now.I have a son from a previous relationship that has adjusted to the changes as well calling me Kendra most of the time.He is 16 now and I get him on weekends.Taught him live a good life,don't live a crappy unhappy life.
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