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Member Poetry

You may post your transgender-related poetry here.  Any poetry posted must be your own and any copyright held must be held by you.  Copyright infringements will be removed as soon as a moderator becomes aware of it, without notice.

1,754 topics in this forum

  1. Duality

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  2. Letters from Junebug

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  3. Fleeting

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  4. The Ghost

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  5. “The Iron Fortress”

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  6. An empty place

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  7. Demons

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  8. I Am Who I Am

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  9. Red roses

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  10. Be you

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  11. A Mistake Like Me

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  12. just a little thing i wrote

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  13. In Red I Wait

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  14. Map the Lines

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  15. My Words Forbidden

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  16. Warts And All

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  17. All I Am

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  18. Triple Threat

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  19. Untitled

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  20. Darkness

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  21. Who I Am

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  22. From the Mist

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  23. Exploring 5-7-5

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  24. Transgender's panic

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  • Posts

    • Kirsten
      That’s amazing! Thank you so much for this information. I’m not sure that it’s available here but maybe. My son has adhd and ptsd and maybe even a touch of ODD as well and we struggle with his meds and have for years. This could really help him so much. Thank you again.   
    • MaryMary
    • Kirsten
      I used them a lot when I was younger, but that was well before I was out. And I know for me it was just a way to hook up. I don’t know how much that’s changed in the past 15 years, but something tells me if anything it’s more for hookups.  I still think meeting someone in person is the way to go. Out somewhere. Doing something you both happen to share and enjoy. Idk. Maybe I’m just old. Lol. 🤷🏻‍♀️
    • Kirsten
      Thanks. Keto diet and cardio. 252 pounds at the highest to 171 at the lowest. I’m back to mid 180s now almost 9 months later. But I like my weight for the most part.  The best part of all of it wasn’t the weight loss though. It was finding myself and breaking out of my shell. I learned how to be okay with who I was instead of what everyone else wanted from me. 
    • VickySGV
      Hmmm-- I have two family members ( a mother and adult daughter) with psychiatric problems and  a history of medication roulette with twice the numbers on a standard wheel.  I will relay this to them for consideration by there Psych staffs.   Thank you.
    • Dev
      Hola!   My mind was thoroughly blown today.  This is something that could have implications for many of our members, so I wanted to ramble a bit about it.  I'm sure all of us with psychiatric issues have had experience with a doctor prescribing something that either doesn't work or actually makes things worse.  One of the old adages I've spouted countless times in my ~20 years of suicide prevention work is that everyone reacts differently to each psychiatric medication.  What works for one person won't necessarily help another.  I've always called it more of an art than a science.   Recently, science has taken a huge step toward controlling this kind of thing.  Geneticists have been studying the MTHFR gene and have found that the meds most likely to help someone can be found by analyzing that person's DNA structure.  This particular gene can, in one way or another, tell doctors if you should take a certain medication as it's usually prescribed, if it will have reduced or no effect, or if it will hit you like a Mack truck doing 80 on the expressway.  A few months ago I gave a sample (it's done by cheek swab) to my psychiatrist, and today I sat down with him to discuss the results.   This test is scary, it's so accurate.  It called out every medication I tried that didn't work as being genetically incompatible with me.  It identified the drugs I've tried that sent me into overdrive because I am genetically predisposed to being really, really sensitive to them.  Aside from the psychiatric medications available, it also pointed out that when I was given a benzodiazepine or any opioid painkiller in the past, I had to be given enough to knock out an elephant because I'm genetically resistant to their effects.  (Opioids also give me a nasty hangover, and whenever I'm offered one in the ER the doctors are genuinely confused when I decline.)   However, this test was also able to show that my body doesn't process synthetic folic acids well, if it does at all.  My psychiatrist said that could well have a negative impact on both my diabetes and my migraines, and suggested that I get a full medical DNA report to discuss with my primary doctor to see if there are other ways my genes are getting in my way.   I'm posting this specifically for the psychiatric benefits involved, but those of us with medical concerns might want to consider it as well.  In the US, the test is called the GeneSight MTHFR analysis, run by Assurex Health.  If it's available in your area, your psychiatrist will know how to get it done for you.
    • Sydneyblue
      WOw thats amazing going from size 14 to 8 
    • MaryMary
      I have my own feelings about this. Although it's more dangerous for trans people it's still quite safe if you take some basic measures like telling the other you are trans, meeting in a public space the first dates, etc. Every trans woman takes a risk but I don't think it's enough of a risk to avoid dating completely. I think that the more you hang with the trans community, the more you are aware of every little injustice. It adds up on a national level but here in my local city 1 or 2 trans woman had really bad encounters out of thousands. On that 1 or 2 bad encounters to my knowledge none were fatal.   I feel that the moment you are far enough from the beauty norm dating becomes a lot harder. I have cisgender woman who are my friends that have a very hard time finding someone because they have other differences. I'm not the most active person on dating sites but I've had 3 dates total and 1 guy was ready to go further with me but he was not interesting enough for my taste, one was not sure and the other person was a girl and was far too independant for my tastes. The main problem for me is to manipulate the system to reject those who don't fit (transphobic and the such) and after that finding people who are serious and what to find love. That's the harder part for me, a lot of guys go on those sites and just want sex. It becomes very hard to find someone in the end but I know for a fact that it's hard for everybody that's different. A lot of guys fancy themselves with a beautyfull 10/10 blond woman who's intelligent. Are a lot of people interested in a trans woman? A blind woman? A little person? A woman who is 300 lbs? Dating is hard and is discriminatory for everybody.   Anectdote : I was chating with a man who was very open minded and was bisexual and had already had relations with trans woman. We talk and talk and at one point he said : "do you practive BDSM?" . I said : "no, it's not my style" then he said : " oh, I'm so sorry, I don't want to date somebody who don'T share this sexual preference" . I mean.... it was discriminatory... against non BDSM people. lol The number of possible discrimination when dating is stagering. lol It's part of the game I think.    
    • Cursedbook
      My ex and his wife got a divorce shortly before we went to court for custody. I couldn't live with myself if I gave up my daughter. I wouldn't have a chance in court. A chronically homeless trans person with no job stability has no chance of getting full custody.       Thank you so much.
    • NewLife336
      Amy, looks fantastic, love the dress!   Kylie
    • ChloeRoss
      I know when I got desperate I tried a couple of the big sites but did not have much luck. I didn't even realize they hadn't even cleaned their site up from their clearly pre trans days. Makes me wonder if they even really care or if they are just doing what is good for business. I'm afraid I know the answer. ☹️   The Dangers of False Inclusivity On Transgender Dating Sites
    • ChloeRoss
      Thats great that not only you have a coworker to talk to but also told you about the boss which I am sure was a huge relief.
    • MaryMary
      a picture is worth a 1000 words they say. Here's a picture of me (I have white pants that you don't see). Maybe you'll see what I mean by style... I'm building my own trying to completely ignore people around me and only focus on making myself feel good. It's not extreme, it's just a mindset
    • MaryMary
      well that's interesting. I'm also a member of the B cup club. The feeling you describe is exaclty the same feeling I feel. I had the bottom surgery because to me it was necessary. But What I can tell you is that dysphoria will still be there even after GRS. 99% of people in my life call me "madam" and I still see myself like I have the same face I had before HRT. I still see the man in my traits. Some days, it drives me completely crazy and I would do every surgery until it's gone. Facial feminization? Trachea shave? Braking my bones so they can heal in the correct position, hips augmentation... name it, I would do it all.   TO ME (important precision here) gender dysphoria is akin to anorexia. I know, on a rational level, that I don't look the same as before but in my heart I still look the same and I feel that no amount of surgery or anything will ever fix that. To me gender dysphoria is just another mental illness. Even If I do, let's say, facial feminization I feel that my mind will fix itself to another detail and I will still feel just as much dysphoria. For me it's a real problem.   The only way I'm able to deal (and to really respond to your question) is to extract myself from a direct comparision with cis female. I'm trying to really integrate in my day to day "trans is beautifull". What I mean by that is to forget female beauty standards. To look at myself and position myself in a "trans woman" beauty standard. Yeah, I'm more ... bulky... then a cis woman but in a way I look tougher and if I dress myself properly (more rock and roll and develop my very own style as opposed to dress with flowery delicate dresses and stuff) I can reach a equilibrium where I kind of forge a third path that I call "Mary beautifull". You know, black skater dress with velvet purple lipstick, sunglasses, a necklace made with hermatite stones... I  think I look awesome. Not in a cis gender female, delicate, kind of way but in my own kind of way. The best way for me to deal is mainly to avoid comparison in my own mind (emphasis on that part). I place myself in a state of mind where I realize that I've lived many experience in my life playing the role of the 2 binary genders. I've dated as the two gender, made love with both genitals, I had a whole cliché cisgender male friend circle and a whole new friend circle that's more feminine (+ my past friend circle which is not gone). To me it kind of give me a new perspective on life and a certain kind of wisdom. I've lived with the fact that I'm transgender since puberty because I had physical manifestation that meant I was out even before knowing the word transgender, lol I think it's awesome. Our society see  trans as "less then" sometimes I feel but I'm trying to actually see this in a "more then" kind of way. Allll of this puts me in a more confident kind of mindset where I can be proud of who I am and where I am now.   I say all of this and I want to specify that yes, I'm humble. I don't say all of this to brag but to explain how I construct my self esteem and how I built around the dyshporia to give it less importance.   Very interesting topic, I feel I could go on and on
    • Maid In Bedlam
      Evening all you lovely People. Firstly i havent made many posts as so much has been covered i havent needed to ask many questions in the forums or indeed answer many questions as i have been quite content to read. im not a big internet user let alone a poster. Normally any questions i may have been inclined to ask have already been answered somewhere else.  For my absense at activity please accept my aplogies. But now i have a question that is unique to me but im wondering, Well not so much a question more a way to get this out of me and some advise on how to deal with 2 problems i have. One for here and another for a diffrent topic at another time. With my speech out of the way here it comes, I have been on hormones for nearly 2 years. Im not young in fact i didnt actually start till i was over 50.  I had my reasons for not starting sooner some of which will  be answered again in another topic. However I looked at myself the other day and i had that sinking feeling. It was just after i had dried myself from a bath and took a look in the mirror. I do this and every Sunday i take a few measurements mainly bust size etc. More for self gratification than anything else. As in being with the knowledge that something is happeneing. For the record i have developed into a B cup with no surgeons intervention. Which im quite proud of what they have become considering i started with nothing. But anyway to get back on track i looked in the mirror in all i see was a Monster. I wasnt a man and sadly i wasnt a Woman either. I seem to have been caught somewhere in pergatory. I was so sad i had a little cry and have just felt nothing but a sinking feeling ever since. I knew right from the start i wasnt going to have the body of a beauty queen but i kinda expected more at this stage. To me my face has not changed. I still appear to look as i did before i even started. My body has hardly any curves and in general i think i look like complete crap. I know i should not expect to much and be grateful for what has occured. I mean being honest i have also been full time for 3 and a half years and im also living stelth. (I moved to another country). and been very sucessful. I work and no one suspects i had a previous life. My freinds do not suspect i had a previous life and as far as the world goes im seen as always been as i am now. My hormone level is peaking at the max of what it should be according to my gender specialist and he seems very happy with where it is. In fact now i only need to see him once a year as opposed to previously which was 6 month periods, I have not had the bottom surgery i didnt think i really needed it but its something i am now thinking about if it would make a diffrence but i dont want to go down that road just being led by my heart and not my brain. So i guess my question is this. How do we deal with these feelings? How do we convince ourselves this is a perception that only our minds see. I have never really had any doubt in my mind i was always quite sure of myself and dare i say now happy with the hand i have been dealt until i hit this bump in the road.    
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