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Member Poetry

You may post your transgender-related poetry here.  Any poetry posted must be your own and any copyright held must be held by you.  Copyright infringements will be removed as soon as a moderator becomes aware of it, without notice.

1,785 topics in this forum

  1. I'm Not Alone

    • 5 replies
    • 253 views
  2. I Loved You So

    • 6 replies
    • 239 views
  3. Light

    • 5 replies
    • 255 views
  4. Why (a poem about loss)

    • 4 replies
    • 167 views
  5. The Childhood Days

    • 3 replies
    • 203 views
  6. The Undesirable King

    • 2 replies
    • 230 views
  7. She Found the key

    • 14 replies
    • 322 views
  8. There Is A Force

    • 7 replies
    • 261 views
  9. Freedom

    • 8 replies
    • 267 views
    • 5 replies
    • 194 views
  10. I am free.

    • 3 replies
    • 219 views
  11. A Shining Star

    • 3 replies
    • 188 views
  12. The Wilderness of You

    • 5 replies
    • 223 views
  13. The Boy in the Silent House

    • 4 replies
    • 243 views
  14. Planning For The New Year

    • 2 replies
    • 170 views
  15. To be me.

    • 2 replies
    • 197 views
  16. Time and Distance

    • 4 replies
    • 208 views
  17. "Ive lost the armor of mine heart..."

    • 4 replies
    • 237 views
  18. The Choices We Make

    • 5 replies
    • 226 views
  19. Untitled

    • 2 replies
    • 178 views
  20. us

    • 11 replies
    • 269 views
  21. sleep

    • 2 replies
    • 201 views
  22. Letter to Myself

    • 13 replies
    • 302 views
  23. Black

    • 2 replies
    • 191 views
  24. Know Me

    • 1 reply
    • 196 views
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  • Posts

    • MaryMary
      here's a VERY good vulgarization of the brain :    
    • MaryMary
      data in it's rawest form is O and 1       I'm sorry but no we are not. In fact our memory is very inreliable (for most of us anyway, some are different). The brain is basically a network of neuron that are connected to each other. Each time you access a part of is you reinforce this connection. But those connection are unstable so sometimes a link is "pruned" and a memory becomes "polluted" and maybe false links are created. Here's a video of what i'm talking about :   brains are more akin to neural networks : https://towardsdatascience.com/how-to-build-your-own-neural-network-from-scratch-in-python-68998a08e4f6   I'm linked something in case you want to learn. Each part of our brain do a very narrow job. All the speed of the brain is in how it's able to fetch a message from one network to another and analyse an image (for example) in a small number of steps. You can replicate that when you program an AI on a computer. I suggest you research "deep learning" and "neural networks" on the internet to learn about it. It's very interesting and it also show how much more a brain is then a simple database.
    • Nivegnal
      It is a great job. The best I’ve ever had but availability is the same as anyone.  Sadly I do not work on the campus or medical center there.  I am a BioMed and work in four hospitals In Vermont and New Hampshire.  Being the only BioMed in each so I’m busy.  Though I do have access to a ton of info.   it give me lots of commute time.  Time I hope to practice.    
    • Jani
      This is the one guaranteed item they don't talk about!    As to electrolysis, I am just over four years and 240 hours.  I told my electrologist (who's become a great friend) if I had known I would still be on the table four years later I would have cried.  Oh wait!  I did cry, but from the pain when she zapped hair on my lip.  But everything gets easier and I am almost finished.   With just a number of white hairs on the neck to go, I rarely wear makeup now unless I'm doing something special.  I've achieved my goal of blending in and being one of the girls when I am out.      TL:DR  There is no easy road to success (or happiness).  You gotta work for it! 
    • Tetris
      Well yeah, it's mostly out of familiarity. It's more the "database" I identify with as opposed to the CSV directly. I am yet to learn JSON or SQL but I intend to. But part of why I really like CSV is *because* it's so simple. It's data in its rawest form. Its most abstract, baseline form. It'd be difficult to express data any simpler than that. I could represent all this data graphically, couldn't I? And yes, while linear regression machine learning models *are* attractive in their own sense, they lack the poetry that a simple CSV holds. Through all that simplistic data being displayed comes a hidden pattern. The numbers hold the answers to questions we didn't even know we had. While JSON and SQL are objectively better data structures, there's simply something about how raw CSVs are that I love. All it is is just strings and numbers separated by commas. That's all it is on the surface... but the hidden, underlying structure behind those strings and numbers is what makes me swoon. So beautiful, and I feel it to my core. All databases really capture my attention, but it's the simplicity of CSV that really makes me love it.  It's hard to explain why I consider myself a database. On one hand, it's a kin thing. I'm very, very kin with numbers, data, and data structures in a way I'm really incapable of putting into words. On the other hand, we're all data structures, in a way. We're all a database of the sum total of things we've learned in life. In many ways, the way I organize my mental structures are closer to a tree rather than a CSV (as is with most people), but I find if I mentally store parameter-based data in a mental csv, I'm able to remember things FAR better. More accurately, in a mental struct.  
    • Jackie C.
      Honestly, therapists are really easy to talk to. Part of the job and all. You'll be amazed how much better you feel talking to someone.   SO jealous about the Medical University thing. I imagine that makes things ever so much easier. Most of what you need is just right there. Awesome news!   Hugs!
    • Jackie C.
      Hrm. I tried three.   Kathe S. Perez from 30-Day Crash Course   Melanie Ann Phillips How to Develop a Female Voice   and Nina who has a last name, but I'm completely not remembering it Female Voice Club   First off, they all had good points and slightly different approaches. Cost wise How to Develop a Female Voice is the least expensive and provides about an hour of material. I personally didn't find her methods that useful, but she comes from an acting background and teaches like she would to other actors. If I was a more experienced actress, I might have gotten more out of it. 30-Day Crash Course had some advice that I'm still using. It's the next most expensive. Like I said, advice that I'm still using, but the instruction style didn't get me as far as I'd like. If I had a decent voice coach easily available I think it would have made great supplemental material. Female Voice Club made the most difference for me. Nina works on just one element at a time and goes in depth about what she's doing and why. You can also send her short voice clips for her to critique and she'll give you advice on what you should be working on. Unfortunately, it's the most expensive (and longest), but she's got options for a subscription to spread things out. You can, however, do the warm-up exercises in the car and she's got things you can do when you're alone at work at your desk.   I practice for about an hour a day and I'll work in extra tuning sessions when I'm in the car or doing something mindless.   I hope some of that helps!   Hugs!  
    • Nivegnal
      Per the wise advice I have received here I have reached out to my company mental health benefits department  I work for a Medical University, UVM.  They are very pro transgender and serious about all sorts of tolerance.   They just forwarded me a couple numbers for counseling with a gender specialist.  I’m hoping from there I can be referred to a psychologist or equivalent. Maybe even get past all this fear.   im just hoping my insurance covers this.   (fingers crossed) This is a major step for me.  Kinda scary admitting “things” to someone face to face.   I suppose you have to start somewhere.
    • Nivegnal
      I have always been a car vocalist.  From way back singing in the family car with my brothers and sister. I even can hit the high notes.  But it has to be loud.  I tend to blend my voice to mimic the artist but find it difficult to do so at lower music levels.  I don’t have a very low voice and, to me, listening to myself on tape it’s a little on the nasally side.  With the right pitch I think it might be cute.   I look forward to practicing but I need to find the right program to use while driving. I am looking into the suggestions here.    
    • Charlize
      I've always preferred the witch   Hugs,   Charlize
    • Maid In Bedlam
      You cannot beat a Bela lugosi Dracula  Movie. He was the real mould . For me anyway.   Not so good in plan Nine from outer space.   I have no idea why i have posted this but it had to be said.   That is all
    • Maid In Bedlam
      Well they did pave paradise. and put up a parking lot   Those meddling kids.       Well i get me bike back anyway. With a working ding a ling to
    • Jackie C.
      Tragically no, but my therapist is working on it. That means she's experienced and active in the LGBT+ community, but none of her three degrees are specifically for gender therapy. I'm not actually sure where the distinction is. Both Deena (my regular therapist) and my gender therapist, Sara are LMSWs. That's Licensed Master Social Workers.    For gender therapists I had to go outside BetterHelp.com to the UofM Health System. I love Sara but I wasn't up to driving that far every week to talk to her (I love my car, but she's an old girl. I try not to stress her too much.) Also, she's always super put together and it's a little intimidating. Deena and I have had (online) sessions where we were both in sweatpants.   So yeah, I went with Deena and BetterHelp for my regular therapy needs and went... well, go... to Sara at UofM for things that need that specific gender therapist seal of approval. She was the Letter of Recommendation I needed to get started on hormone therapy. For WPATH standards of care (If you're going for GRS anyway), you need two gender therapists from different programs, so I also saw... I'm blanking on her name now, but she's local to me so it doesn't matter at all for you. At least I don't THINK you want to come to Michigan for a therapist. Anyway, she was a full psychologist and wicked expensive. I liked talking to her and am forever grateful for her Letter of Recommendation but I'd go broke seeing her.   Hugs!
    • Steph1982
      Hey there!    I just read your post and can relate to some of it. I too wish I could see the girl inside but that would take much more time and steps in the right direction to get there. The porn thing I totally get too, and after doing a lot of reading and people's kind words on here it's really not as uncommon as I thought it would be. The reasons behind all of it though can vary which is why seeing a licensed therapist is so important and will likely be my next step as well. Maybe start there?    Jackie, does better help have licensed gender therapists? It was my understanding that they had licensed counseling and some have experience with gender issues but they are not specifically a gender therapist? 
    • tracy_j
      Hi, hello and welcome ☺️   I have missed the start on this but you have good experiences given above. I have a link here which gives an overview: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/gender-dysphoria/guidelines/   and https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/healthy-body/how-to-find-an-nhs-gender-identity-clinic/   plus there are support groups (probably variable / not regulated): https://www.transunite.co.uk/   In general, the NHS information seems to be good, although I have no real first hand experience. Waiting lists are long, as may be expected. Access via your Gp is the usual route but, if that is a problem, just push elsewhere. As mentioned, self referral may well be accepted.   Don't hesitate to ask further here as there is much experience and guidance to options.   Tracy        
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