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    • Susan R
      The fear is a natural and expected. Few of us can say we didn’t have some apprehension before introducing our true selves to the world. Although, when you do this you will begin to get a strong feeling of empowerment that comes from your inner acceptance. It’s subtle but happens.  Every day, you’ll get up feeling happier than the last and going out into the world will get a little easier each day. In no time, you’ll be so anxious to get on with your day...as yourself Emily michelle. Any looks or mumblings under their breath from others will instantly bounce off you and your confidence will take over.  Then one day, a moment will come and you’ll say to yourself, “Why didn’t I do this earlier?”.
    • KymmieL
      Yep, but I actually had some nice texts from him. No mention of him still being mad at me about things. Tomorrow is my grandson's 5th birthday. I had to make sure all the presents that were sent from Amazon got there.   Kymmie
    • Emily michelle
      I tried to put humor in it and said I was gonna start doing suave commercials lol
    • KymmieL
      Emily, just tell nosy neighbor it is nunya, non of your dang business. As for your brother in law I would just say, I just want to grow out my hair, period end of story. If you don't want to come out at the moment.   Kymmie
    • Emily michelle
      You are 100% correct I need to nip it in the bud. I’ve been getting tired of hiding. My sister said she would be there with me. I’m still just scared for some reason. And I’m afraid I will become the laughing stock of the county.
    • NB Adult
      Exactly, we can't choose our family but thankfully we can choose our friends and in time they will become our family.
    • Susan R
      I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this so suddenly. Things seem to be coming to a head though for you. It’s to be expected as you transition as you know. I put coming out for as long as I possibly could but eventually the time arrives when hiding it much longer is not realistic and more trouble than hiding it. You might ask your sister to be there for support (assuming she would) when you tell him.  The neighbors are a different story. They may start to come up with their own ideas as to what is going on. Sometimes their ideas can be way off and more outlandish than reality so it’s usually better to nip it in the bud before rumors start flying. Just my opinion...take it for what it’s worth.   My Best, Susan R🌷
    • ShawnaLeigh
      Thank you all.  I wasn’t sure as my natural color is a chestnut brown and it looked so foreign to me at first.  Well chestnut brown in my youth. It’s now a crappy grey.  Lol I do intend to do an everyday makeup and take another picture with natural light and I will post these too.   Thank again!❤️❤️❤️
    • Emily michelle
      I hate nosey neighbors too. I can kind of understand her because it’s hard to keep a secret from her husband. My wife and I spend a lot of time with them. He has been asking too mostly about why I haven’t gotten a haircut. I’m pretty afraid on how he will react. What made it even better he asked her about me in front of a whole crowd of people I know.
    • KathrynnCox
      Wow. That’s not cool. Personally I hate nosy neighbors. Mine just complain about my lawn. Right now. I’m so sorry you got cornered. You should be able to come out when you are ready, not someone else’s schedule. 
    • Emily michelle
      My sister just cornered me and asked when I was going to tell her husband. Because he is asking questions and our neighbors are asking questions. Of course the one neighbor is a loud mouth that has no filter. Apparently he asked my sister point blank what is going on with me. So I don’t know I want to come out so bad but I’m scared to death.
    • MaryMary
      I remember when I was a teenager the first years when I felt more intense dysphoria. I was starting my puberty (the wrong one). It felt like a mix of panic and depression. It was like a cloud that was setting in on top of my emotions and feelings. Without really realizing it I went from being relatively happy, listening to pop music and all that to being a trainwreck and just unable to deploy any effort on any projects and listening to very very dark music, suicidal etc etc lol I also remember when my voice changed because I remember the trauma and the panic. In fact I reacted so strongly that my voice didn't actually deepened. Later, doctors said it was because of stress...   Then as an adult, before my coming out it was like a general numbness and felt like I was turned off (like a computer that is turned off). I like the expression "crushing depression" that someone used, that's pretty much it.   Now I relatively don't have a lot but when I feel it it's no longer general numbness and depression. It's more like a knife stab, that sudden feeling you have the first second when you learn a really bad news.   Anyway, that's my way of describing    
    • Susan R
      I can relate to this exact feeling although I never smoked, I have seen the affects on others.  After purging my entire wardrobe, the powerful feeling of ‘accomplishment’ would eventually wear off.  Then, during this state of suppression, the dysphoria would start to kick in, often triggered by singular events...seeing a beautiful woman, seeing a man act chivalrous to a woman, or some similar event. My mind would not relent on those images and the need to dress as myself would increase as it always had. Within a week, I found myself thinking about nothing else but dressing as myself.  Eventually, to calm my mind, I would break down and go shopping.   Acceptance of yourself and who you are seems to be a good way to stop this unproductive, painful and costly cycle...at least this is true in my case.   Susan R🌷
    • Suiraa
      As previously stated, everyone experiences dysphoria differently. I've tried to study mine some to try and understand how it functions. It is like an internal mechanism that is uncomfortable and knows exactly what is causing the discomfort. This discomfort is then translated into impulses that feel very similar to craving something like nicotine (but not quite). One of the things for me is that I will feel discomfort in my body hair and I will have to shave and make myself look pretty. Otherwise I will start to become distracted and irritable. I need to study it way more and I currently consider my understanding of these mental processes to be rather limited.
    • Tori M
      What's all the fuss?  Is that not your natural color?  It's you, girl!  Hottie, gonna have all the guys' heads turnin'.
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