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Drug Abuse Support Forum

A forum to get help and support if you have drug issues.


165 topics in this forum

  1. New Substance Abuse Meeting In Chat. 1 2

    • 32 replies
    • 2.9k views
  2. Nearly a Decade

    • 3 replies
    • 78 views
  3. 14 years

    • 6 replies
    • 585 views
  4. Marijuana and Testosterone?

    • 2 replies
    • 1.2k views
  5. Estrogen and depression

    • 3 replies
    • 485 views
  6. Our message is hope, our promise is freedom

    • 4 replies
    • 472 views
  7. Cigarette smoking

    • 22 replies
    • 710 views
  8. Anniversary

    • 8 replies
    • 497 views
  9. New fave quote in recovery

    • 2 replies
    • 340 views
  10. Is this possible?

    • 2 replies
    • 433 views
  11. 27 days drug free

    • 9 replies
    • 540 views
  12. A vision of hope

    • 1 reply
    • 440 views
  13. Struggling With Powerlessness

    • 7 replies
    • 841 views
  14. Saving someone from drugs is killing ME

    • 2 replies
    • 535 views
  15. grateful

    • 5 replies
    • 583 views
  16. Clean Aniversary

    • 4 replies
    • 767 views
  17. Today's the day

    • 3 replies
    • 655 views
  18. Road Trip

    • 3 replies
    • 631 views
  19. Just sharing more about me.

    • 6 replies
    • 774 views
  20. a stretch

    • 3 replies
    • 841 views
  21. getting a new sponsor

    • 2 replies
    • 688 views
  22. Study showing trans* addiction rates high

    • 12 replies
    • 900 views
  23. 11 Years Clean Today?!!!

    • 6 replies
    • 1.4k views
  24. Ooo That Smell

    • 4 replies
    • 1k views
  25. My Addictive Thinking Strikes Again

    • 5 replies
    • 1k views
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  • Posts

    • Sally Stone
      Tonight, I was shopping for a new pair of boots.  I couldn't find anything I really liked, but accidently stumbled upon these at Macy's.  I can't really say I need another pair of high-heel pumps, but how can a girl resist shoes as pretty as these, especially when they are in my (hard-to-find) size?  There are so many things I can wear with these.  They are supposed to be shipped in 5 to 8 days and I can't wait.  
    • Jacqui
      @QuestioningAmber and @KathyLauren, thank you for your thoughtful, helpful responses.   Amber, your suggestion about "baby steps" is a good one; I sometimes amplify my anxiety by imposing a false sense of urgency in this process where none exists.   Kathy, I really appreciate the valuable perspectives you've shared here; they resonate with me, and they help.  I must admit -- there are times in my life when I felt I was trying to "pass" as a man (and sometimes failing).  Even when I didn't fail outright, I probably came across as inauthentic in some subtle way.    
    • Shay
      @Berni you are gorgeous and I love the outfit and I envy your hair.
    • Rat man
    • VickySGV
      To get the help you really need, you will have to reach out to other people.  Your school counselor is usually who I recommend to start with.  If you are really in danger of doing severe harm to yourself call your doctor's office or go to an Emergency Room or clinic. Your parents are going to have to learn about it in order for you to get the help you need, I am a grandparent, and I have a medical release for my grand kids if it is needed.  I have laid that one down on my son and their mother, and they love their children enough to trust me, and the kids know they can trust me even if what I tell them is not what they want to hear. 
    • Rat man
      Recently I have been forcing myself not to eat because of dysphoria. I feel like I am fat for my age to begin with and now I don't feel hungry often and only eat one basic meal a day. 
    • Rat man
      Idk what to do i feel to scared to tell them and if i dont tell them it will end up with me killing myself
    • Erikka
      Great news from the Superior Court of California. I just got the decree from the court making Erikka Rakel Ingebretsen my legal name! The sad part is that a friend of 60 years has written me off. When I told her this is who I am, she asked me why I had to change name. I explained why my dead brought such sad, painful memories (a violent, physically abusive father who didn't want to father a third and made it quite plain how unwanted I was). After explaining she didn't respond. That was a week ago and she has removed me from her friends list. I know that not everyone can accept who wen are. But the ones that are still there for us are the best. Velsignelser Erikka
    • ElizabethStar
      @BerniYou got mis-gendered looking like that? Seriously?!?  WTH?   I have a feeling the next month or so  is going to be filled with firsts. I was sent a message to call a customer that I had worked with last week but wasn't told he asked for me by my dead-name. I called him as Elizabeth. I had talk about myself in 3rd person. "yeah, sorry he's not available, I'm happy to help" I was so worried I was going to accidentally out myself trying to explain how I know so much about the problem. I ended up using the "I overheard him (me) working on this last week" excuse. I was able to get through solving the issue. Of course, then he tells me to thank dead-name-me for getting the answers for him.   I'm sure it will happen again and I will just calmly work through it.
    • KathyLauren
      @Jacqui and @QuestioningAmber   It takes time.   Early on, I had a hard time saying to my therapist that I was a woman, because, at the time, I didn't feel it.  We look for some switch to flip from "I feel like a man" to "I feel like a woman" and get worried if we don't feel it flip.    But that's not how it is.  Man and woman aren't feelings.  And we don't switch our identity anyway.  We are born and have always been this way, so there is nothing to switch.   So what changed in me that let me finally say "I am a woman"?  I started to realize how much easier it was to present as a woman.  I spent 60 years worrying whether I was male enough to pass.  I didn't call it "passing", but that's what it was.  Now, I don't have to worry about it.  I don't mean that I always pass as a woman.  My presentation is not bad, but I'm sure most people can figure out my identity.  What I mean is that I don't worry about it.  I am enjoying being me too much.   (TW: brief suicidal ideation...)   My recovery from surgery has been problematic, so of course, the thought arises that I might have been better off not transitioning.  The thought doesn't last long though!  When I think about what it would be like to go back, I shudder in horror.  I literally couldn't do it.  If the blue meanies told me that I had to de-transition, I think I would kill myself, that's how stong the horror is.  I can never go back.   Being a woman is so much easier, so much better, so much lighter than trying to pretend that I was a man that I can confidently say that I am and always have been a woman.   That realization didn't suddenly happen.  It arose organically with the accumulated experience of being myself.  I would turn around Rachel Williams' quote and say, "It was when I realized that I had rejected my history of male-identification that I accepted myself totally as a woman."
    • Erikka
      My endro order a genetics test. Instead of being standard 46,XY male I am a 47,XXY. She called it Mosaic Klinefelter syndrome. It means that many of my cells have and extra X and some don't. It explains so many things, like delayed puberty, gynecomastia, dental problems, delay in walking. One in 500 boy babies are born with 47, XXY. It is on a spectrum from barely to completely. I fall somewhere in the middle. So a bit more girl than I thought.
    • Jani
      I have two StarCastle albums!  They were given to me years ago.   Blues Image and Red Rider, great songs by these bands!
    • QuestioningAmber
      @Jacqui I still have a hard time with the statement "I am a woman". I have been working with my therapist on this for about a year now, and I don't know when it will be simple to say "I am a woman". I want to say it is a magical journey, but I think it is just shifting your identity in simple ways. One thing I have done is started adopting they/them pronouns as a starting point. I prefer those over he/him and she/her doesn't feel quite right yet. These have all been baby steps I have taken. I hope that is a starting point, and I am also curious what others will have to say.
    • Jacqui
      . . . and you are!
    • Jacqui
      I waltzed into this week fairly stoked by the work my therapist and I did at our last session, in which she helped me through a doorway I was hesitant to cross (having her address me exclusively as "Jacqui").  She also gave me an exercise that immerses me in thinking of myself as "Jacqui" so that I can see how this makes me feel.   I was feeling confident and optimistic, but now that I'm a few days into the week, I'm feeling terrible anxiety and doubt.  In her blog on wordpress in a segment documenting her transition, Rachel Williams says, "I had to learn to accept myself totally as a woman in order to reject my history of male-identification."  When I read those words, my immediate thought was, "How in the world will I ever be able to do that?  Do I have the capability within me?"  Rachel adds that this definitely didn't happen overnight, but still . . . for me right now it feels daunting.  As I said in a response to my very first post, "If this takes me down a certain path, what a jarring displacement it will be to the person that the world and I are accustomed to seeing as 'me'."  When I wrote that, I wasn't so worried about what the world was accustomed to seeing; it was what I was accustomed to seeing that was paramount in my concerns.   I will of course discuss this with my gender therapist at my next session, but if any of you have words of wisdom or encouragement from your own experiences, I would be grateful to receive them.    
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