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What Am I? I'm Not Sure.

New to the site?  Not sure of your identity?  You are not alone.  This is a forum without judgment.  Ask your questions without fear.

769 topics in this forum

  1. The Number One Reply, I'm Not Sure 1 2 3

    • 53 replies
  2. Born Female, Still Confused

    • 10 replies
  3. How Do I Know If I'm Faking?

    • 14 replies
  4. Female To Male??? Tomboy? Butch?

    • 6 replies
  5. Debating

    • 8 replies
  6. Struggling with myself 1 2 3

    • 67 replies
  7. What Do You Think?

    • 9 replies
  8. Tomboy, Or Something More?

    • 8 replies
  9. Really Really Confused

    • 10 replies
  10. I Wonder What It Feels Like To Be A ...

    • 7 replies
  11. I Am A Guy Who Is "female"

    • 13 replies
  12. Frustration And Release? :( 1 2

    • 27 replies
  13. Gender Identity Obsession (Literally)

    • 13 replies
  14. Technical Vocab

    • 8 replies
  15. Just How I Feel

    • 4 replies
  16. Becoming More And More Confused

    • 6 replies
  17. Lost

    • 4 replies
  18. I Thought/Think I'm Trans... Not so Sure Anymore...

    • 4 replies
  19. Why must anyone be anything?? 1 2 3

    • 67 replies
  20. Possibilities of partial transitioning?

    • 11 replies
  21. I'm A Bit Confused..

    • 24 replies
  22. I Really Need Some Help

    • 7 replies
  23. Could It Just Be Denial/whatever

    • 2 replies
  24. Confused?

    • 13 replies
  25. Completely Unsure... 1 2

    • 28 replies
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    • ElizabethStar
      This really sounds like some of the things I struggled with. I was questioning and confused for many, many years. I really just needed more time, experimentation and self reflection to be sure.    
    • Michellle
      I agree, some people’s egos hold the whole band back. Me and my brothers always got along playing and recording together. It’s bass players we had issues with. I think they know they are in demand.
    • MiraM
      Very well said. I transitioned in 2000, and then de-transitioned in 2002.  I was miserable living as a man, and knew I was a woman, but I was just as miserable after transitioning, so I stopped HRT, and all therapy, and went back to living as a male...a depressed, alcoholic, suicidal male.  My mistake is that I thought transitioning was the "magic pill" that was going to solve all my problems.  It wasn't.  They were still there.   In 2016, after being laid off from my job, I went back into therapy.  My intention was not to transition at that time, but to try and work out the issues with my depression and C-PTSD.  About a year into therapy, we started addressing the gender dysphoria again, and I was referred to the man gender therapist at my VA Hospital.   After about 6 months of weekly sessions with her, we both felt that I was at a point where trying HRT again was possible.  I went back on HRT in January of 2018, and the outcome was different.  This time I actually started to feel comfortable with me.  I went full time again in August 2019 and haven't looked back.   I can attest to the fact that some of the people that de-transition have the mindset that I did the first time.  It is very important, mandatory in my opinion, that any and all co-morbid conditions be addressed and brought under control before transitioning.  If not, the outcome is likely to not be a positive one.  I for one am glad that my current medical team would not consider putting me on HRT until I had done so.  I think therapy is important after HRT and going full-time as well.  I still see my gender therapist every two weeks.
    • Timber Wolf
      Hi Holly Noel, Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here!   Lots of love and a big welcome hug, Timber Wolf 🐾
    • Cris31
      Just want to toss in my support and appreciation JamesM.  QuestioningAmber brings up a good point there that hit me pretty hard.  I'm still trying to figure out myself but it brings some comfort that there's a spectrum and not completely feeling like THIS or THAT all the time or completely is okay
    • Timber Wolf
      Hi Rory, Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here!   You're not alone anymore.   Lots of love and a big welcome hug, Timber Wolf 🐾
    • RunValRun
      OMG @Sally Stone, absolutely lovely nails. I always had preference for long nails, there is something indescribable and powerful they add to the woman's image.  
    • KayC
      Hi @Maren!  nice to meet you and Welcome! I am also at the very beginning and until I get farther along in therapy I don't want to set any specific plans or timelines for myself (and I am also much, MUCH older than you. lol). But, with that in mind, right now your idea of HRT first would also be my most likely option.  Not just for preference (which for now it is) but my inability to come out in the near future (job and location) and the logistics and availability of HRT for me (in Japan).  I am Out to my wife (only) so far, but she at some point has to be part of my decision and timing process. So, I see your option as very viable (and for me, preferable), but everybody is different and there is no one set way to go about it.  Wishing you all the best❣️   Deep breaths ... one step at a time
    • RunValRun
      Going by route of hrt before coming out is completely viable option. In my particular case, I knew what I was going for, but making it official was not a priority. Of course, eventually it would come out (as it started happening recently to me), but you decide what your journey should be. I made a decision to let things come to me as oppose to let everyone know at some milestone. My family was the first to learn, and while it was a rather significant surprise, because it came by observing and just accepting changes in me, it was easier to understand that I was still the same person. It looks like my "work family" is next and I just smile every morning imagining each and every conversation I might have that day   Good luck and keep asking questions.
    • MiraM
      I did my major coming out on Facebook.  There were a few close friends at work (along with my supervisors since I had been on HRT for a while before coming out fully....I felt they needed to know since my plan was to eventually transition on the job), but the vast majority of my friends and family did not know.  On National Coming Out Day of 2018, I made a Facebook post telling everything from being Pansexual to being Trangender.  I have friends and family in several states, so there was no real effective way to do any of it on a one to one basis.  I had no negative reactions, and lost none of my friends or family over it.  I will have been full-time one year on August 15th.  There were also ones at work that knew nothing until the day I went full-time, and they have all been very supportive.  I came out to our entire regional corporate office (most of who had no idea I even existed) with a letter from my Therapist attached to my submission for a promotion into management.  I start in my new management position on August 12th.  The only person that I have noticed that has had any difficulty with any of it is my sister.  She says it is hard to not think of me as her baby brother, but she does try, and uses my preferred name and pronouns.   Your milage may vary, but it is possible to successfully come out via Facebook and other types of electronic media.    
    • KayC
      Hi again, @Overalls Bear!  I have similar feelings when I am out shopping with my wife and she is shopping in the womens section.  I so much want to shop with her, go through the racks, compare our choices of styles and then try on our selections together.  Someday I hope. I am Out to me wife only (and therapist, of course), and I am able to dress at home (only at home, in private).  I think I would be miserable if I could not do at least that.  So, I hope .. only when the time is right for you .. that eventually you can find a way to tell your wife, and she will be supportive.    Wishing you all the best in yourjourney❣️
    • KathyLauren
      I did it the same way you are proposing, Maren.  I had the support of my wife and a few selected people, but I was not out to the world when I started HRT.    I figured that coming out was a point of no return.  I wanted to look plausible as a woman, and I wanted to feel the emotional effects of the hormones, before making that commitment.  I had been on HRT for three months when I came out.  The date was chosen based on breast growth (small enough to appear male the day before, but big enough to appear female the day after) and on the meeting schedules of various groups that I was a member of.   It worked well for me.
    • KayC
      Hi Rory!  nice to meet you and Welcome! I am just starting also, and I understand the feelings you describe.  Its a rollercoaster of emotions and the end goals are not always clear. Same reason I thankfully found this Forum and its been VERY helpful.  Just like @Charlize the experiences I've read here, and now just starting therapy has given me much more confidence that even if I don't know where I'm going yet, I know I am on the right path.  I am hoping the same for you❣️ Deep breaths ... one step at a time
    • KayC
      I love this analogy, Robin.  I always say if I don't know my destination, how can I know how to get there?   I am very happy to be in therapy now, with the same goal of first understanding my dysphoria.  My therapist has the same focus for my sessions.  Lets keep moving forward, one step at a time❣️
    • Charlize
      I did the opposite.  Hormone therapy is the "easy" part of the journey.  I felt i had to be certain by living full time as myself prior to seeking HRT directly.  We all have different paths but please consider opening up with your family if that is possible for you.  HRT didn't instantly make those conversations easier.     Hugs,   Charlize
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