WPATH Standards of Care
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A place to discuss the existing standards of care and how they apply to us.
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By MaryMary · Posted
I often say that to me coming out and transitionning was never about rejecting masculine things to be a cliché on the other side. I'm only expending myself. I was stuck in 30% of myself before and now I can wander where a want in the whole 100% Some people can do a lot in that 30% but at some point it doesn't work anymore. At least, that's my way of seeing it. I think that there's common points in most of the stories but we all have unique life stories anyway. -
By Ellora · Posted
Good Morning! June gloom over here in the San Diego Bay area. The tea is about right, just finished my PB&J taco, and my Lady meds =). I hope everyone else has a great morning and a fabulous day! (For those of you that do not know what "June Gloom" is, it is what comes after "May Gray." The gloom and the gray are the morning clouds that hang out at the coastline predominantly in the months of May and June. In the afternoon the clouds are pushed back and loom over the ocean, until night time, the clouds greet the sunset and wait along the coastline all over again.) -
By TheFirstEvan-Ger · Posted
Hello! Coming out to my family and community, I feel a lot of pressure to be absolutely sure of my identity and never express my doubts, but lately I've been digging into the depths of youtube and seeing all kinds of trans people's stories of how they figured out they were trans and none of them sound quite like mine. I've always felt a little weird about my assigned gender, and especially about the fact that society asked me to do "feminine" things, even feminine things that I actually would have liked doing without gendered connotations. For example, when I was a kid my grandma used to invite me to do "women's work" in the kitchen, and while I would have 100% preferred baking to going out in the cold snow I would argue that I should go be with my male cousins just because I resented the idea of being forced into a female role. My male cousins would be taken on hunting trips and while I hated hunting I would ask to go just because I wanted to be one of the boys. I have always been more comfortable with being perceived as male and gotten excited when someone "mistook" me for a boy. I wanted to join the boy's choir instead of the girl's choir. I hated being called a girl (though if you asked what gender I was I would have said female). It all does seem like a pretty typical trans guy story when I write it down, but at the same time I was initially excited to get boobs around puberty (though as soon as they appeared I realized they disgusted me and wanted to give them back) and to get my period (though once it came I resented it and felt disgusting while I was having it). My favorite book and movie characters were always female (I loved Hermione more than Harry Potter, Jean Grey more than Wolverine). All of my best friends were girls because I didn't want to run around with the boys, I wanted to talk and make up fantasy adventures instead. I actually liked wearing dresses and never resisted being dolled up for a special occasion. Writing them down they seem like minor things, but they've been worrying me lately. I'm not quite sure what the point of this post was except that I wanted to get it out since I can't do that around friends and family here without them doubting that I'm really male. I guess deep down in my heart I kind of want someone to reassure me that I am really trans and that I'm not misinterpreting some internalized misogyny or some such. Thanks for reading if you read this far, I love you! -
By Ellora · Posted
I guess a shaved head with a goatee and law enforcement can be considered "over doing it" now that I think of it. Now that Ive taken T out of the loop, I can look back and see my manly man ways a bit more clearly, and How i would use my deep voice and manly man expressions. My friend has been surprised how much ive changed now that im out to her, and even more so after my Orchie. Ive even heard a couple of "Welcome to being a woman" (That actually makes me very happy when i hear that, every time.) A bit ago I expected to hear comments and questions about my shaved legs. Never, ever, lol. Not until my friend told her sister (her sister is totally ok with everything), did she say "Well that explains the shaved legs." LoL, we both laughed cause I know how she must have said it, she can be very funny, I love them both like they are sisters, always have, well, except for my friend, I dated her for 6yrs, but we have stayed great friends. anyhooo. I guess we do what we have to do at times. Especially if we are wingin' it. Im sure things would have been different for me if I was was born later in a more excepting time, but here we are now. Here I am now. We are all still learning, especially since things are changing almost daily, Ups and Downs. I hope that you can be yourself, I cant wait until we can all be ourselves. Enjoy every day when possible. I hope you can find your inner peace during the difficult times. Im feeling great with my changes, and Ive still have to go along ways in some areas. -
By Ellora · Posted
In my experience, calling anyone "It" is demeaning. Try calling a friend or hear someone call your friend "it" and you will get a quick corrective response, including a reprimand. Unless the person asks to be called "it" and even then, it would be awkward for me, expect an unfavorable response. -
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By Jani · Posted
Hello Bobbisue and welcome back. I understand how health issues can set us back. I'm happy to see you back here again. Take care. Jani -
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By tracy_j · Posted
Perhaps the main thing I noticed was that when I was finally able (or confident enough) to go out female I had a tendency to overdo it. Nowadays I am mostly less concerned. I have never rejected my feminine side and, probably because I am somewhat a rebel, have never felt I should. In a similar way I am not against my male upbringing either although am not sure it was for the best. Tracy -
By Charlize · Posted
I lived as a male for 63 years because of pressure from family and friends. Over time i became quite "butch". In fact i was a tough dude. Working heavy construction, as a design builder and farmer certainly were heavily male activities. At this point i no longer regret that past. I'm an old woman now but still working the farm and enjoying the effort involved as i am able. I don't think of my past work as an attempt to reassure myself that i'm male . Instead it was a requirement of a society that didn't accept a non binary reality. Oddly it may be easier in this society to be female with strong male attributes than it is to be a "sissy" male. That word SISSY says so much! Our paths are interesting. Sharing here, reading about others and gender therapy has helped me find and accept my reality. Hugs, Charlize -
By Charlize · Posted
I'm glad you have found such a welcoming sober environment. I am an alcoholic and also understand that feeling of loosing my best friend(booze). Between being new to sobriety, a new environment and transition for are going through major changes. If it helps please take a look at the Alcohol Abuse forum here. There is a link there to some great Zoom meetings as well as the Chat meeting tonight(Sunday) at 9 eastern. I have found AA meetings with other trans folks are great. In the meantime please don't hesitate to PM me if i can help. Hugs, Charlize -
By Kirsten · Posted
I felt like this too. Heck I still do at times. Even with my close girlfriends. And I would even if I looked like a supermodel. It’s a mental block you’ll have to figure out how to get past. Ellora said it perfect. You do you. You act like you. Talk like you dress like you. BE you!! The rest will figure itself out. Yesterday I had a nephews birthday to go to. It was at a ninja gym. I spent half the time talking with the girls and the other half running around like an overgrown child in a jungle gym. Nobody thinks anything positive or negative about that. It’s just me. And it continued at the cookout after. I sat with the girls and talked kids, men, and all the rest all night. But when the time came to beat all the guys in cornhole, (it’s a yard game with bean bags not a creepy kink thing. Lmao) I was up and ready to go. 6-0 btw! Mph and I was misgendered accidentally 20 plus times yesterday. All accidental. But you know it just happens. Correct politely and move on. That’s all. Just a simple “it’s she” or “it’s her” and back to the convo. This all takes time. You’re trying to learn who you are right now. So don’t beat yourself up. Be you. Be proud of you. And be confident that you are awesome! Cause you are!! -
By Timber Wolf · Posted
Welcome back Bobbisue! Lots of love and a big welcome hug, Timber Wolf 🐾 -
By Charlize · Posted
As a person who has had some surgery but not full GCS i sometimes feel i'm in the it category. That may also be because i'm not active sexually with no "preferred" gender. Gender pronouns seem to sometimes not fit but as i present female and feel comfortable it's only when depressed that IT comes to mind. I do see those pronouns used by haters so i would never give them the affirmation they might find by using that pronoun even on the rare occasions it comes to me. I hope you will go to a gender therapist. Therapy definitely helped me to accept the person i am. Hugs, Charlize
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