Non-Binary and Gender Non-Conforming Support Forum
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Changing name, struggling with fit and outing all my identities and legal processes across 3 states.
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By NashySlashy · Posted
Ick, that's awful. I'm sorry that happened. I'm glad you're feeling better today! -
By NashySlashy · Posted
We don't mind at all! Make yourself at home. I haven't really presented as masc yet, though I do wear manly clothes, have hairy legs, and have worn a packer out in public. I purposely chose a small one because I didn't want people I knew to look down at my crotch and call me out. I'm taking it slow in the transitioning process. I just know, when I do go all out with my appearance, it's going to turn some heads and make those who know me question me. But I do have A person who knows I'm trans. And they are accepting. So that's a step in the right direction. -
By Vidanjali · Posted
@Mmindy I'm so glad you're thoroughly taking care of yourself. I hope you heal soon. Consider getting some arnica cream which helps with inflammation and bruising. @Hannah Renee CONGRATULATIONS! I feel for you @Elizabeth Star & @NashySlashy . It's not easy. Speaking from personal experience, (C)PTSD can be painful & quite a nuisance, frankly, for every day functioning. I was walking on the beach with my friend two days ago. We stopped to sit on a concrete slab. There was a backhoe driving back and forth, raking piles of seaweed. The driver seemed to be positioning the truck to drop the rake/hoe thing as close to the concrete slab as possible, but instead slammed it down on the slab. My friend and I both screamed. I felt extremely light headed, as if I stood up too quickly x10, but I was sitting. I felt so sick from the sudden rush of adrenaline - I was trying to collect myself, but kept seeing stars be felt sick. I commented to my friend, well there goes all my cortisol for the day. Next day (yesterday) I was in bed half the day - just had no energy. I did manage to make it to choir rehearsal last night, and I'm doing a bit better today. -
By Vidanjali · Posted
Btw, I hope y'all don't mind me dropping in on this thread from time to time - I don't ID as a man, but as nonbinary and possibly a touch of trans masc. I just appreciate a place to talk about our intersecting issues. To wit, an update on chest dysphoria. The shirt I was wearing in that photo which triggered the recent dysphoria went right into the donation bag - bye bye. I decided that if I'm seriously considering any kind of top surgery, then I can certainly be disciplined to lose a few pounds, and that will reduce boobage to some extent. I'm not overweight, but was about 8 lbs more than the weight I prefer to be at the time the photo was taken which triggered me. I've lost 2 lbs so far. I gained weight, ironically, not because of the pandemic, but because concurrent with that, I started having issues with my feet which prevented me from walking as much as I usually do. That's getting a little better, but since I'm not as mobile as I used to be, I'm now making a concerted effort to limit calorie consumption. Also, I've been collecting a few light weight short sleeve button downs to wear over a tee shirt - this hides the side boob watermelon effect pretty well and makes me feel more handsome. Overall, I'm feeling more hopeful about the situation. Question. When you're presenting masc or masc-ish and you're not out to family (or friends), do you ever wonder or worry what they think? I'm pretty sure people in my life have noticed a change in my appearance over the last few years. When I was younger and presented masc or androgynous (not knowing I was trans, but just because that's how I liked to express), I frequently got pegged, and sometimes got made fun of, for being a lesbian, which I'm not. (Trying to refrain from going off on a tangent regarding how conflicted and self-loathing I felt for so long...) Moreover, I know my husband accepts me (this took an awful lot of strife, but we're there now...) and thinks I'm cute, but I sometimes get paranoid that others feel "sorry" for him that "I've let myself go" or some such. I'm very much working on not caring what others think - it goes hand in hand with greater self-acceptance. However, I still struggle with it when it comes to my husband - I feel haunted by the past in ways - things from when I was younger & things he's said to me before he learned to be more accepting. Please forgive me if this brings up anything painful for anyone. I really need folks to talk with about this because I don't have any trans guy or trans masc friends irl. Thanks for listening. -
By Heather Shay · Posted
For me it's not having to deny myself anymore. -
By Heather Shay · Posted
I am going to go out as my true self and create some new music and relax. How about you? -
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By KymmieL · Posted
I would highly encourage anyone going to VA or even considering going to the VA to go. While like @Jandi has said. it isn't perfect but nothing in this world is. The VA has really embraced the LGBT community. When I go to the Cheyenne VA I feel accepted and cared for. It is a safe place for us. Those looking to start transition. Talk to your primary provider or mental health provider. That is what I did. I actually wrote a letter. I was just about done with my session with her. When she asked is there anything else you want to talk about. I gave her the letter. Wound up talking for another hour, she even called one of the gender specialists to come visit with me. That got the whole ball rolling. Only regret I have is not doing it sooner. Kymmie -
By NashySlashy · Posted
Same!! I enjoy the empowerment that comes from being trans, but I can't be open about it. Everyone still refers to me as my birth pronouns because they don't really understand. My family is very conservative, so they wouldn't get it. My husband's family is a bit more liberal, but they refuse to really...correct any of their behaviors. My sibling-in-law is genderfluid and they (the family) still refers to them by the wrong pronouns and even deadnames them. I told my husband that I was questioning my gender a while back, and he still refers to me as "wife" when talking about me to others. It's a mess lol. -
By Jandi · Posted
Some of us fight it far longer than that. But realizing who we are is a tremendous relief. -
By Rosie. · Posted
Aside from living authentically, I’ve overcome a lot of fear I’ve had broiling in my gut for a long time. Coming out as a professional in a highly conservative area, was absolutely terrifying. But I’ve managed to survive! Being trans is a gift in many ways. Hoping you’re filled with trans joy! *hugs* Rosie -
By Charlize · Posted
Thank you for sharing that Vicky. Hugs, Charlize -
By Charlize · Posted
As a person in recovery in AA i have found that Christianity has never been forced down my throat. It was suggested that i find a higher power. I'm still in looking 15 years later but that search never took me to Christianity. It has helped me accept\, know and love myself and others. Some may well take the path of Christianity but there is certainly no requirement to do so. "The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking" Hugs, Charlize -
By Marcie Jensen · Posted
There's an urban myth connected with this that Adams' last words were "Jefferson still survives. The republic is safe." His actual last words were "At least Jefferson still lives." He was mistaken as Jefferson died five hours earlier. -
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