I'm feeling a little better today.  Susan is spot on here.  For me, right now, it is a matter of financial security.  I just want to be out of the business of paying interest.  I had to deal with paying a whole year of taxes in April and I'm just now recovering from that.  I need to build up some savings, or rather financial progress, before I can justify spending any more.   My plan today is to schedule an electrolysis session to real feel what that is like.  Then my thought is to wait about 2 years to jump into this.  At that time, I should have a new roof on my house and have my mortgage below $200K.  And if I can have a nice emergency fund/buffer in my finances, then I should be able to feel good about spending money on this venture.   I plan on doing a full transition and paying out of pocket for the whole thing.  If I do it at all that is.  I have a good career.  My career path has been shaky.  It's been a rough journey.  And whether I transition or not, I'm going to have a frugal retirement.  But I absolutely can afford to do this.  I've worked it out in my budgets.  I think that the more financially sound I become and the closer to retirement I get, the more I'll feel that this is the right path for me.  The activities that I've setup for myself in retirement are absolutely free and even have the possibility of earning income.  Although I could imagine having a better house, there is no need for that.  My house is wonderful and has architectural features.  I drive a $5,000 car and work from home.  I don't even need the car and have spent a good 20% of my adult life without a car.  I biked 700 miles last year.   I don't know what else I would spend my money on.  I just know that I don't want to be spending it on interest!   The big question is will I still want to do this in 2 years?  I'm curious about how healthy I'll feel in 2 years.  I'm a little nervous that HRT and surgery would be  bad for my health.  Are there stories on this site about people who have had bad outcomes with surgery?

Remembering my grandfather's, the one I lost and the one I never met. Also, remembering friends of the family. But I don't usually reserve the holiday for time off, I usually always work.😔

😁Elegantly put! Love it. Thanks!👍

Nice to see some positive news for a change!

After I started HRT, it was about two months before the girls had grown enough that they were at risk of being noticeable.  By that time, I needed to wear a bra.  (Not for support: five years later, I still struggle to fill an A cup.  More for motion control.)  I was able to hide it under thick winter shirts, but as the weather warmed in spring, that became less of a possibility.    The final straw was playing in a concert band's spring concert.  The uniform was white top/black bottom.  There was no way to hide a bra under a white shirt, so I had to go out and buy a (man's) white tank top to go under it to hide the bra.    Shortly thereafter, I ended the charade and came out, exactly three months after starting HRT.

I'd like to preface (that's how you spell that?!  Who knew?) this by saying that I know everyone responds differently, at different rates and with a staggering range of ultimate outcomes, so I would take any reply with a grain of salt.  That said, how long might someone have before they start to raise eyebrows amongst those aren't "in the know", but have known you for years.  And how long might someone have before... say... a lesbian leaning bisexual sister that married a trans man and has been close friends with several (trans men) but has (I'm relatively sure) had little interaction with trans women, (same for me, runs in the family I guess) start to ask questions, if at all?  Though I'm assuming that's unlikely.   Why is this one so hard to hit submit on!?  Huge wave of anxiety!

🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋🇺🇸

I looked it up and they actually have an English version of their website! I thought they were French but they're just in Europe. As I said i didn't test their gym binder, but I quite like their extra-compressive one.

@Mmindyis correct.  This goes back all the way to the Revolution.  Earlier, even.  On one side of my husband's family, every generation has served...all the way back to the colonial militia in Jamestown in the early 1600s.  Kind of interesting to study the history.

To me, Memorial Day is about those who served and died, and also about those who survived but carried pain and trauma afterwards.  We should remember the cost of maintaining our way of life, and also the cost of careless politics.  And our leaders should see the cost, and be inspired to choose peace where possible.     My husband served in the National Guard. Won't talk about it.  His father was in the Army in Vietnam, and his mother was a military physician.  They don't talk about it.  There's something unspeakable that those in service go through, and often it is a family tradition.  This weekend, they're decorating the graves of military veterans... including friends and family.  While we're enjoying sports, barbecue, and time off....we enjoy it because others have secured this time and place for us.

@LearningWhoIAm I really feel for you.  It must be awful to have such a negative reaction.    However, all is not lost.  Your husband cried because he loves you and your life together.  It is possible that love may prevail.     Based on what he said, it seems like he has two issues.  He's unable to absorb the idea that your personality isn't changing, and he is worried about being or appearing to be gay.  The first one can work itself out in time. The second may take some counseling, but he may be able to overcome that also.   IDK what vows you said at your wedding (if any).  Mine were the standard set of "for richer/poorer, in sickness/health, etc" until death.  Men often live by a code of honor, so returning to a specific promise like that might influence him, or at least begin a calmer discussion?  

Tragically, that's me always. My "tan" is a scattering of small freckles, no closer than one inch apart or I burn like a magnesium flare. The sun is NOT my friend.   If you don't already, I'm also going to suggest moisturizer. It's a girl's best friend for maintaining a youthful and healthy appearance.   As always, the laughter is free. Glad you appreciated it sweetie!   Hugs!

@Jackie C. The "white-out" Comment had me in stitches!   I feel the pain!  That's me in winter but I'm a "day walker" and tan an orangish color come summer.  Luckily, I'm freckled everywhere but my face, oddly they faded permanently after a couple seasons of roofing in my twenties.  The sun has done me no favors (it's not THATa bad but...)20 years of a beard however, saved the lower half of my face.  Problem is, there is now a notable complexion difference at my beard line and I'm certain it would call attention, should I ever go out without a mask.  I may never go out in public without a mask again, even if I never come out and boy-mode for the rest of my life...  Sublime!   I just need one damned girlfriend!   Don't get me started on the anxiety feel walking down the makeup isle.  What the hell does an orange girl do for foundation!?  Try finding that on YouTube.   Anyway, thanks for the advice, which I will take and the laugh, which was much needed.   Much luv

@Vidanjali Awesome!  Glad you already have projects, and celebratory ones at that.  Cute shirt too!  If I was a bit bolder I'd totally wear one ☺️

Whelp, I'm "can use white-out as concealer" pale, so I think I feel what you're saying. On my skin, a little bit goes a long way. I usually just do some eyeliner, MAYBE some eye-shadow, lipstick and then call it quits.   As a ginger, if you're freckled... you've got two choices: Either do what I do, or run concealer over everything to cover them up. Personally, I adore freckles but you have to do what feels right for you.   Hugs!