Corporate and Office Environments

Good morning, everyone! Sunny but cold here in the northeast USA this morning - temps going to around 60.   I leave for the Keystone Conference later this morning. It's about a 2.5 hour drive and I've volunteered to help set up registration so I've got to be there before 1PM. I am so excited!!   Enjoy your day - and the rest of the week. I'll check in when I can.   Don't miss me too much!!! 

The situation we are now in is not against any person on these forums, rather it is a situation we are now in, remember i said making no noise, blending in and i also used the words "cottage industry" My vent to be honest is those that wish to make noise, those that play the pro noun game, Those that wish to tell the world I am different look at me?. I have given two instances where two professional people i know resent the pro noun situation thrust upon them. I find it abhorrent when i am sometimes asked to introduce myself and then the usual pro noun crap that follows   it does,but you are reading the wrong hymn sheet, Stealth by nature means "What do you mean i see nothing" my whole point is that too much noise has been created. Let me try another way and this is true by the way. When the Gender Recognition Act was being presented to 10 downing street London, the press and media turned out on mass, (naturally wanting to sell news papers) the noise from the press had us in stitches, "they look like ordinary men and women" no news value here lads, packed up and went. Because there was no noise it was just a useless photo of a crowd    That is not the case unless they are responsible for the cottage industry?Transsexualism in its concept was to align your mind and body to one or the other. Transgender seems to be totally different, we now seem to have a broad spectrum from gender fluid, how the heck do. you treat gender fluid? all the time this is making noise,none conformity has also always existed but it was not part of the Trans spectrum.   I do not subscribe to that, i do not see myself personally as beautiful, i am just like any other ordinary woman, that is why i use the words blend in. I am the type of woman that does not wear makeup, no ear rings, very drab. The only thing for me is my dam hair some times i have it curled, or straight with streaks of blond in.   You blend in, you make no noise, i am the same, I do not regard myself as pretty or beautiful anything but Before i embarked upon my transition my mind gave me hell, i had all kinds of tests done to try and make sense indeed had a pill been offered by the psychiatrist at that moment in time i would have taken it and passed away thats why i was in hospital, i wanted out, but once on hormones my mind and body gave me purpose Beauty is not something i aspire too, as i have said throughout this post, blending in,making no statement or noise, nothing to see here

Continuing path to help others grow.

Physical transitioning is not necessary to make you who you are. 

Five Day Keystone Conference. I'm excited.

My husband.  I was so very scared, because to have your wife suddenly "become" a boy could trigger all kinds of anti-gay stuff.  Especially in the South, the perception of one's masculinity is really important.  I worried that if my husband felt threatened or deceived, it could be the end of our relationship.  Possibly the end of me being in the family.    Thankfully, it was exactly the opposite.  He's ok with me being myself, whatever that looks like.  I discovered that he's really secure in his masculinity.  I've found it interesting that displaying security and confidence in one's masculinity makes others believe it also!  Like, the best way to be masculine is not to try too hard at it.  The few times my identity has been an issue (like at lunch last weekend, if you read that topic) my husband creates an atmosphere which declares that he owns the room.  I suppose if I had realized this earlier, I wouldn't have been so nervous. 

It seems like there's a blurry line between "passing successfully" and being "stealth."  I mean, isn't it a good thing?  And perhaps some of the negativity around the idea is from folks who are jealous that others are able to pass better than they do?    For me, my goal is just to avoid notice.  Even in my girl form, I didn't want to be seen as pretty or as being particularly good at anything.  I slink from corner to corner, my style is drab, I'm often quiet, and I vanish pretty well.  I prefer my androgynous appearance because it lets people assume all sorts of things.  They believe what is easiest for their minds, and then forget me.  It certainly isn't perfect, but seems to work most of the time because it doesn't challenge people.  Not sure if that qualifies as stealth or not.    If I am going to be seen for my real identity, I definitely feel the pressure to avoid the stereotypes that people will think of.  When folks learn about my identity or that of my friends, what I most like to hear is that we aren't what they expected, that they're surprised we're different from general population around us.  

Well, I saw a tall transwoman in the store who might have been an online friend.  I was shocked to see how tall she was!  After the 30 second shock factor I was like, WOW!   Probably because of my music experiences in high school and beyond, I've had a big enough ego to not care much of whether I passed as a male.  I never adopted male behavior on purpose.  I wasn't trying to be feminine, but certainly avoiding masculinity.  What others saw I don't know.  I focus on my career and say if I do well at work, the world will have something from me and my chances for monetary and other success are better than if I chase some non-physically productive thing.  Music and my writing, even software engineering, is writing and easily stolen.  Food clothing and shelter are physical gotta have them mostly, so people that get in those trades (the trades), are somewhat golden with ability to make money and move from place to place.   Transition for me was not heavily focused on passing.  It was freeing to realize my transfeminine core being.  It put a spin on my life that I resonated with.  Then finally, after a little coming out tensions, I was able to just get rid of the masculine clothing.  It opened up style to me that I didn't focus on before.  And I'm still growing better style.  Little things.  Pink shirt not looking good when I bought it.  Should I trash/donate it?  Is it so ugly that trash is reasonable?  I bought it for a reason and it feels good.  Like the shape.  Been experimenting and now it's been working for several days.  Found combinations with my other clothing.   So, I essentially have the same ego but now feminized.  Work is intense.  I say to myself that my feminine part is what I go home to, my personal life, and then I go to work as myself.  It's not my work.  I got rid of my male clothing years ago.  Work is so intense with a male edge it is very disturbing.  It's my work though and I love it.  Could have a boyfriend if that is romantically possible.  Would love to just be womanly taken care of.  My fantasies are more of that nature than a sexual nature.   Ideas that guys, well, likely a lot of guys operate on a much different level than I did.  Masculine behavior mostly was a mystery to me and now I have this fantasy about a Gen Y musician who I find attractive!  And then there are some lovely women of all ages and types around.  I don't know.  I'm a muse romantic, so it's kinda a job on that level!   Sports people just get the football and put up a hoop.  We've got these mixing boards, headphones, speakers, haul the axe around.  Learning to sleep with my bass!  Why didn't I do that before?  It never crossed my mind.  It's like hanging on to my man.  Whisper in his ear "Would you take me to knitting group tomorrow?  Then stop for ice cream on the way home?"  "Will you take care of it so I don't have to worry about my bass getting rusty on the strings?  I know you like to cook, I'd love it if you would do that.  I miss it a little, but just want to clean a little and work on my style and play some fun music.  And code software of course!  I'm an an engineer.  You are going out to work, right? I'll just order that thing you want and be hear when it comes.  I'll work with it and see if it is a keeper."