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A place to discuss transition: legal, workplace, name change, driver's license issues, and more. Tips and tricks on getting through a year or two as another gender.


808 topics in this forum

  1. Stealth? 1 2 3

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  2. Transgender Roommates

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  3. Help! New Passport UK

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  4. Deadname In People Search Databases

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  5. Birth Certificates - How Many?

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  6. Technology keeps deadnaming me

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  7. The Idea of "safe spaces"

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  8. Name change overseas?

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  9. Name Change Process Advice?

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  10. I wasn't struck by lightning ⚡⚡⚡!

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  11. Body Image

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  12. Passing hmm over rated. 1 2

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  13. SSN Application - How do I sign??

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  14. Fitting Room Supported!

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  • Posts

    • Lindsey_D
      Thanks, but not really my words, just a summary paraphrase from Gal. 5:22.
    • Rose
      Well said Lindsey! Exactly what I meant 
    • christinakristy2021
      You're very hot in those leggings hon. 
    • KymmieL
      I wish we had that at our VA. The LGBT coordinator is my current therapist.    Kymmie
    • Lindsey_D
      Exactly. Straight in your own mind about who and what you are and where it might be leading before trying to explain something to someone else. Part of my preparation was to be ready to spend several days in a hotel or with friends/family if wife needed the space and time to process. Not to sound all Scriptural, but you are asking for faith, patience and understanding &c, in so much as you ask these of her, be willing to extend them to her in kind.
    • hailey
      It has been a good day so far. Decided to go to church as Hailey once again. One church member asked me where I got the skirt I am wearing and told her.
    • Rose
      Dear Kyleigh,    I do understand that yours is not an easy situation, as I have been through this myself.    I read your post one two hours ago, and I’ve been wondering since what could be the best advice I could give you, in order to help you.    I think the most important thing is for you to be well prepared in your mind about what you will tell her.    First of all, I think the most important is to speak from the deepest point possible inside you heart: if you know that you are a trans woman, it’s better to say it frankly than to begin with a “softer” presentation of things like “I like to dress as a woman”. The most sincere it is, the easiest to understand and to accept IMO. Because if it’s a condition you really experience in every part and moment of your life, it can’t just be ignored. Someone who would just like to wear women’s clothes for fun is obviously not in the same situation. You can resist and manage an addiction, it’s much more difficult to do it with a real mental condition.   Another important thing also is to be sure that the way you will say it is not biased by other problems in your couple, or she may not be able to think about what you said with an open mind. For example, you being a trans woman can explain some aspects of your behaviour as a husband that don’t please her, but make sure that when you talk about it, she won’t feel like you are trying to blame her for anything. In my own story, understanding my being a trans woman explained a lot of frustration my wife had because she thought I wasn’t acting like a normal husband in numerous circumstances. Actually, she was right to think what she thought, as I wasn’t a “normal” husband. And I can’t blame her for thinking this. Actually my coming out helped a lot to ease our relations. Now she knows what she can’t await from me and why, and she also enjoys a more relaxed state in our relationship.   So it’s important that you have a clear idea of what you want to say and how you want to say. How you will introduce the subject, how you will formulate it. For all of this, a therapist is a good person to work on it with.    Plus it’s important that you take your time to be able to speak in a relaxed and peaceful way, and also that the moment is adequate for her to be able to really listen, and not be bothered by material worries. It there is stress whatsoever, if there is a time schedule, is there are upcoming social obligations, the risk is that you won’t have time enough to explain the things in a coherent and most possible depassionate way. Or that she won’t be present enough in the situation to receive a sincere message coming from your heart. Or that she won’t have enough time and peace of mind to be able to understand what you are telling her, to receive it, to process it, and to be able to understand what she thinks of it. And to ask you questions. And to listen to your answers. And so on.    So the best would be for example an evening when you have no obligations, and several hours in front of you, that you would have usually spent dining, talking and watching tv.    So the answer to your initial question would be: talk to her -as soon as you are clear about what you want to tell her, and you are sure that it comes from your heart and is not biased by other problems in your couple -when you think you will have enough time together discuss it, i.e. she has time and peace of mind to receive what you are telling her, and you have time and peace of mind also to receive her reactions.    If you manage to do so, I think the fact that she can have some days afterwhile to think it further can be a good thing.     Sorry for the long post, but yours was not an easy question!!!   All the best,   Cheers,    Rose
    • Heather Shay
      Last member of my nuclear family, besides me, passed away yesterday.  I remember seeing the following album in his collection and although not top on my list, it was interesting.    
    • Heather Shay
      Thank you - sadly he passed yesterday. We planned to visit on Monday but that was not meant to be.
    • Heather Shay
      Last member of nuclear family passed.
    • Heather Shay
      What is your favorite thing to do when you are alone?
    • Heather Shay
      Emotional stability is the ability to manage and express emotions in a healthy way, even in stressful situations. It's often used interchangeably with emotional intelligence and emotion regulation.      Here are some ways to develop emotional stability: Practice self-care: Prioritize your well-being and recharge your emotional batteries.      Reflect on your emotions: Develop self-compassion, which can reduce anxiety and depression.      Learn to express your emotions: It's natural to have a range of emotions.      Practice empathy: Try to understand the perspectives of others and respond with kindness and compassion.      Set boundaries: Set physical, mental, and emotional limits to protect yourself and others.      Emotional stability is often considered one of the big five personality traits, neuroticism.
    • Heather Shay
      Emotional stability is the ability to manage and express emotions in a healthy way, even in stressful situations. It's often used interchangeably with emotional intelligence and emotion regulation.      Here are some ways to develop emotional stability: Practice self-care: Prioritize your well-being and recharge your emotional batteries.      Reflect on your emotions: Develop self-compassion, which can reduce anxiety and depression.      Learn to express your emotions: It's natural to have a range of emotions.      Practice empathy: Try to understand the perspectives of others and respond with kindness and compassion.      Set boundaries: Set physical, mental, and emotional limits to protect yourself and others.      Emotional stability is often considered one of the big five personality traits, neuroticism.
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
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