Real Life Test Discussions
A place to discuss transition: legal, workplace, name change, driver's license issues, and more. Tips and tricks on getting through a year or two as another gender.
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By ElizabethStar · Posted
I've come to the conclusion that people just don't listen. I was sent out on a call yesterday. I had been working with the customer over the phone earlier, so she knew my name, but the issue came back and we needed to get a tech out there ASAP. My manager sent me. No worries though, I'm happy to get out and spread my wings a little as a female technician. It was a bit of an emergency so I didn't waste any time with pleasantries and forgot to introduce myself. After the work was completed, I was giving the Mrs. the cliff notes on the work I did. She mentioned how she had called our office and work with someone over the phone. I was like yea, that was me, I'm Elizabeth. We talked for a minutes, I gathered my things and headed out the door. I said goodbye and she replies "Thanks Melissa". At least she got my gender right. Some of my clothes also came in the mail. It was very exciting. Unfortunately 2 of the 3 tops run crazy small from the advertised size and the jeans run big. I'll see what happens when the rest of them get here. -
By Audrey · Posted
Good morning everyone, happy Wednesday. Coffee is hot and strong today. Planning to go outside for my exercise routine before jumping into what promises to be a busy workday, trying to keep up with the constantly evolving landscape of the vaccine rollout. I should check to be sure I don't need to buy more coffee while I'm out. I'm also seeing a few snowflakes as daylight comes. @Ann W I hope you'll have that warm and fuzzy coming out experience soon too! I think I'm close to (if not past) the point where it's more exhausting *not* to come out. The one exception is still family, but only because there's one family member on hospice and that's weighing on everyone so it feels like the wrong time to say anything, I imagine I would add stress to an already stressful situation. Yet, I'd want to be out for any memorial service, so I'm pretty torn. I guess it's part of why I wanted to hang on to just one of my men's suits. @RhondaS I totally relate to wanting to come out in person, especially because we're sharing something so close to our hearts. While I would have wanted to do that with everyone, the pandemic prevented it. The only person I actually did come out to face-to-face was partner - otherwise it's been Zoom, Face Time, and phone calls. Even still, I'm amazed by the emotional closeness I can still feel even though it's not in person. The warm feelings after any positive coming out experience are just so nice! Hoping everyone has a wonderful day! ❤️ Love, ~Audrey. -
By RhondaS · Posted
It's been at least a month before I came out to someone, I kinda miss it. Since I want to do it in person to the people that matter most it's been sporadic. -
By Ann W · Posted
I'm so glad to read about your coming out experience @Audrey. I got fuzzies just reading about it. I can see coming out to a female colleague in my near future as well. It's getting harder to hide as I also become less interested hiding. Reading these stories is so encouraging. -
By Jani · Posted
If its to a job you need for the financial consideration then follow your heart and move forward with your transition. Don't spend time doing things you don't really want to do. Life is short. -
By JustineM · Posted
Just a quickie update. Still waiting to hear from Mom, though given the weekend and holiday plus USPS current difficulties, she may not have even got the letter yet. One of my older sisters called me this morning and was asking about books she could read to help her understand better. So all in all not going to bad. -
By Jackie C. · Posted
I'd say follow your dreams, but of course I'd say that. That's how my brain works. More practically, I'd ask, "Is the extra money worth the chunk it's going to take out of your life?" I'd probably also ask, "How long were you planning on keeping this job anyway." I might also ask, "So, what IS this job?" If it was something I loved... maybe. Probably not, but maybe. I see that you identify as bigender though, and most of the other bigender people I know are perfectly content with just expressing their female side during the evening and on weekends. I couldn't do that, but I don't identify as bigender. How do you think spending your time in this job slot is going to affect your mental health? Is evenings and weekends going to be enough? Do you even want to start down the road of HRT? If you're just getting electrolysis, who's going to notice? If you're planning on growing breasts (or getting implants), well that's a different kettle of fish isn't it? Hugs! -
By Jocelyn · Posted
Thank you for your service everyone, I am proud to say I was firefighter for 29.5 years. Unfortunately had to retire early due to the mental and emotional toll, 1 of the best discussions I had in the last couple of years. But I still loved my job and the people that I worked with. hugs Jocelyn -
By LaurenA · Posted
What I'm afraid of is that this is the only job I could get. At 71 they aren't sending you offers. -
By Abi · Posted
Whichever way you choose, I hope it goes well. I would have a very difficult time working for someone else even if they fully accepted and supported me. -
By LaurenA · Posted
<Stream of thought> I'm caught in a quandary. I quit my job last March because of the Covid virus. I liked the job and the people I worked with. The pay wasn't great but then it was all unneeded extra income. My job gave me the structure and stability that I needed. Today I received an email from my boss asking me if I was on the list for the vaccine because he really wanted me back. He said they were going to have a banner year. Fine so far until you mix in that during my Covid isolation I discovered with my councilor that I was trans. Since then I have been exploring my feminine side and getting more comfortable with it. Here's the rub. I worked in a very small factory run by republicans and has no policy at all regarding gender. If I go back to work it will have to be as a male. It will also mean I will have to put any plans on noticeable transformation aside. I have to decide between being who I have accepted I am or working for the psychological benefits it gives me. I want my cake and eat it too. The only way I've thought of is to only be me when I'm home and playing the male gender at work. I should be able to go forward on electrolysis but hormone will have to be put on hold or not done at all. Not to mention any forms of surgery. I have been comfortably retired and don't need the job. But it's a decision between doing one thing to enhance my well-being versus another. I have to ask myself which would do more for me. Since I so recently discovered my true gender I have far less evidence to base my decision on. I guess I could go back to work and put off making and permanent decision. Then I think, I'm almost 71, I don't have that much time left to me to be me and I shouldn't waste any of it. </Stream of thought> -
By Abi · Posted
Glad you're home Susan. I'm sure you're tired and happy all at once. Rest is always easier when you're in your own comforts. -
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By LaurenA · Posted
The section on dragons brought back memories of a group called the Dragon Family who were poly. -
By Audrey · Posted
Dear @Susan R, It's so wonderful to hear that you're back home now and recovering well from your surgery, and with so little pain. Sending you positive energy all the from NYC! Love, ~Audrey.
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