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Real Life Test Discussions

A place to discuss transition: legal, workplace, name change, driver's license issues, and more. Tips and tricks on getting through a year or two as another gender.

806 topics in this forum

  1. Help! New Passport UK

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  2. Deadname In People Search Databases

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  3. Birth Certificates - How Many?

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  4. Technology keeps deadnaming me

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  5. The Idea of "safe spaces"

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  6. Name change overseas?

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  7. Name Change Process Advice?

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  8. I wasn't struck by lightning ⚡⚡⚡!

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  9. Body Image

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  10. Passing hmm over rated. 1 2

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  11. SSN Application - How do I sign??

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  12. Fitting Room Supported!

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  13. Social media when keeping same name

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  14. How hard is passing? 1 2

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  15. Gender and name change in Japan 1 2

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    • RaineOnYourParade
      The problem is mostly on weekdays, when I have school. I wake up right before leaving for school, but I don't get hungry until a while after I wake up, so I usually skip breakfast. Eating too early in the day makes me feel sick, so I'm usually better off. I have the first lunch shift at my school (10:35-11:05, I believe), and I'm still not all that hungry, so I usually only end up eating about half of my lunch. I sometimes have a snack when I get home, but that's still 50/50 at best, and then I usually eat most of my dinner (though I sometimes only get through closer to 70%). I might eat a snack before bed sometimes, depending on the day. In addition to my morning sickness (not from pregnancy fyi lol, I've had it for a long time, it's just the best name I have for it), I get a lot of anxiety-induced nausea throughout the day basically the entire time I'm at school and my stomach doesn't settle all the way until I've gotten home usually, too.     I'm still at a healthy weight with this, and I eat better on weekend days since I can control the times I eat more, but I'm aware it's still not exactly a healthy eating schedule. It could still potentially lead to problems in the future, I'm assuming. Any tips on how to eat better for someone whose aversion(?) to food comes from a lot of nausea? 
    • Birdie
      CNA called an ambulance yesterday at my evening meds check. I was having chest pains and very short of breath.    They arrived shortly and I had an abnormal EKG and Tachycardia. I told them 'right bundle blockage' was normal for me from a previous event, and they saw nothing new.    They said it was my decision if I wanted to go to the hospital or not, but they really didn't see nothing new based off my history and the nitro was working well at relieving my discomfort. I decided to stay home and rest.    Night call nurse called me to inform me to rest and take it easy and the doctor will see me in the morning as well.    The CNA did remove my bra before the ambulance arrived saying, "just less to explain", and she of course gave them all my medical history referring to me as "he". The medic lifted my boob to attach the EKG lead and all three referred to me as "ma'am" the whole time.    After they left she said, "I was the only person in the room that thought of you as male?"   Birdie 💖
    • RaineOnYourParade
      Shadows in the corner, eyes wide
    • Carolyn Marie
      I think your view makes perfect sense, Raine.  Labels and categories can help us make sense out of something confusing, bring order to chaos, set priorities, establish groups of similar things, and many other uses.  Labels are often essential in hard science and the social sciences, too.  But they can certainly be misused and become destructive.   Carolyn Marie
    • RaineOnYourParade
      In some ways, things have been better, but they've stayed the same in other ways. I haven't had any big changes at home or been allowed to really start transitioning much, and my anxiety kind of impedes my ability to correct strangers and such. In some ways, I feel like my anxiety surrounding my gender got a bit worse following coming out to my parents.   However, it does change things with my friends, and it allows me to feel more comfortable and safe with them, like I could take off a heavy mask. For that, I'm very grateful, since that's one less place I have to be afraidi.
    • RaineOnYourParade
      I know a lot of people don't like labels, and they can be harmful, but I don't think they're all bad personally   If there's a name for something, you know you're not the only one experiencing it, and that can make things a little less scary   If I didn't ever hear the label "transgender man", I'd still be wondering why I felt the way I did, and what was wrong with me   If I didn't know labels like "pansexual", I would still be beating myself up for having feelings for people of all different genders   So, while this doesn't apply to everyone, labels did help me some -- the problem isn't labels in themselves, but rather when labels are used against people or as a stereotype    ...does this count as a hot take?  💀
    • RaineOnYourParade
      The metaphor definitely applies, but I doubt it was intentional (mostly due to the time of release).
    • Carolyn Marie
      There were 3.5 million public school teachers in the U.S. in 2021-22.  If you accept the estimate that trans folk make up around 1.5% of the population, that results in over 52,000 trans teachers.  That's quite a lot, actually.  I personally know four, including two college professors.    Carolyn Marie
    • Carolyn Marie
      Given that the story was published in book form in 1883 by C. Collodi, I think it's safe to say that the puppet and it's story has no relation to transgender issues, unless it can be shown that the author was transgender themself.   Carolyn Marie
    • Davie
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Not me, but I know my husband has a slight curve due to bad discs and pain.  Perhaps its something related to your time in the military?  I know that soldiers tend to carry WAY too much backpack weight, and that can cause back and knee issues even for the young. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      I hid my attraction to girls for years.  And even though the process of my parents finding out was painful, it was a relief to get it over with.  I didn't hide my gender issues like that, but I didn't have to.  When I thought I was genderfluid, my partners knew.  Once I figured out that I probably should have been born a boy, I talked about it pretty soon after.  I anticipated rejection from my husband, and was relieved to find deeper love instead.  Overall, it has worked for me.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      I'm kind of surprised there are any.  I mean, trans folks are a tiny minority of the population, and teachers aren't a huge part of the population.  So...a minority of a minority, its not like they would be very common.    As for "ending" them, pretty sure that's not legal.  Discrimination in hiring for government jobs was phased out a long time ago.  There's a big difference between private schools and public schools. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      I agree.  While I feel like I should have had a male body, I definitely don't fit into stereotypically "masculine" roles in society or family.  I'm fine with being my own odd mix of stuff.
    • KayC
      I hope for the day when there will no longer be any 'Labels' ... where everybody is free to be themselves.  It's OK to dream, right?
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