Post-Op Discussions
A place to discuss specific issues or general living after undergoing sex reassignment surgery.
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By Vidanjali · Posted
Btw, I hope y'all don't mind me dropping in on this thread from time to time - I don't ID as a man, but as nonbinary and possibly a touch of trans masc. I just appreciate a place to talk about our intersecting issues. To wit, an update on chest dysphoria. The shirt I was wearing in that photo which triggered the recent dysphoria went right into the donation bag - bye bye. I decided that if I'm seriously considering any kind of top surgery, then I can certainly be disciplined to lose a few pounds, and that will reduce boobage to some extent. I'm not overweight, but was about 8 lbs more than the weight I prefer to be at the time the photo was taken which triggered me. I've lost 2 lbs so far. I gained weight, ironically, not because of the pandemic, but because concurrent with that, I started having issues with my feet which prevented me from walking as much as I usually do. That's getting a little better, but since I'm not as mobile as I used to be, I'm now making a concerted effort to limit calorie consumption. Also, I've been collecting a few light weight short sleeve button downs to wear over a tee shirt - this hides the side boob watermelon effect pretty well and makes me feel more handsome. Overall, I'm feeling more hopeful about the situation. Question. When you're presenting masc or masc-ish and you're not out to family (or friends), do you ever wonder or worry what they think? I'm pretty sure people in my life have noticed a change in my appearance over the last few years. When I was younger and presented masc or androgynous (not knowing I was trans, but just because that's how I liked to express), I frequently got pegged, and sometimes got made fun of, for being a lesbian, which I'm not. (Trying to refrain from going off on a tangent regarding how conflicted and self-loathing I felt for so long...) Moreover, I know my husband accepts me (this took an awful lot of strife, but we're there now...) and thinks I'm cute, but I sometimes get paranoid that others feel "sorry" for him that "I've let myself go" or some such. I'm very much working on not caring what others think - it goes hand in hand with greater self-acceptance. However, I still struggle with it when it comes to my husband - I feel haunted by the past in ways - things from when I was younger & things he's said to me before he learned to be more accepting. Please forgive me if this brings up anything painful for anyone. I really need folks to talk with about this because I don't have any trans guy or trans masc friends irl. Thanks for listening. -
By Heather Shay · Posted
For me it's not having to deny myself anymore. -
By Heather Shay · Posted
I am going to go out as my true self and create some new music and relax. How about you? -
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By KymmieL · Posted
I would highly encourage anyone going to VA or even considering going to the VA to go. While like @Jandi has said. it isn't perfect but nothing in this world is. The VA has really embraced the LGBT community. When I go to the Cheyenne VA I feel accepted and cared for. It is a safe place for us. Those looking to start transition. Talk to your primary provider or mental health provider. That is what I did. I actually wrote a letter. I was just about done with my session with her. When she asked is there anything else you want to talk about. I gave her the letter. Wound up talking for another hour, she even called one of the gender specialists to come visit with me. That got the whole ball rolling. Only regret I have is not doing it sooner. Kymmie -
By NashySlashy · Posted
Same!! I enjoy the empowerment that comes from being trans, but I can't be open about it. Everyone still refers to me as my birth pronouns because they don't really understand. My family is very conservative, so they wouldn't get it. My husband's family is a bit more liberal, but they refuse to really...correct any of their behaviors. My sibling-in-law is genderfluid and they (the family) still refers to them by the wrong pronouns and even deadnames them. I told my husband that I was questioning my gender a while back, and he still refers to me as "wife" when talking about me to others. It's a mess lol. -
By Jandi · Posted
Some of us fight it far longer than that. But realizing who we are is a tremendous relief. -
By Rosie. · Posted
Aside from living authentically, I’ve overcome a lot of fear I’ve had broiling in my gut for a long time. Coming out as a professional in a highly conservative area, was absolutely terrifying. But I’ve managed to survive! Being trans is a gift in many ways. Hoping you’re filled with trans joy! *hugs* Rosie -
By Charlize · Posted
Thank you for sharing that Vicky. Hugs, Charlize -
By Charlize · Posted
As a person in recovery in AA i have found that Christianity has never been forced down my throat. It was suggested that i find a higher power. I'm still in looking 15 years later but that search never took me to Christianity. It has helped me accept\, know and love myself and others. Some may well take the path of Christianity but there is certainly no requirement to do so. "The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking" Hugs, Charlize -
By Marcie Jensen · Posted
There's an urban myth connected with this that Adams' last words were "Jefferson still survives. The republic is safe." His actual last words were "At least Jefferson still lives." He was mistaken as Jefferson died five hours earlier. -
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By Heather Shay · Posted
"You don't need to be perfect to inspire others. Let others be inspired by how you deal with your imperfections." -
By Heather Shay · Posted
The 50 star U.S. flag was designed by a man in Lancaster, Ohio Americans eat 150 million hotdogs on The 4th of July. There is something written on the back of the Declaration of Independence (it was written on parchment that had been written on earlier during the Revolutionary War. Both Thomas Jefferson and John Adams died on the 50th anniversity of the the Declaration. -
By NashySlashy · Posted
I know this is an old post, but it really resonated with me. I'm 29 and didn't realize I was trans until a week ago. The dysphoria has always been there (bottom dysphoria, in particular). I also hate my chest...but I don't know if that's more related to trauma than dysphoria. Possibly both? This is all still very new to me. And I guess that's where my barriers lie. Self-doubt. I'm never sure of myself. But what makes me sure of this is the fact that I feel empowered by the realization. I feel like a new man...because that's precisely what I am. Once I can start presenting as such without judgement, then I'll be much better off.
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