Post-Op Discussions
A place to discuss specific issues or general living after undergoing sex reassignment surgery.
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By Alex-John · Posted
hey everyone , i hope you are all well , i havent been around for a long time due to mental health and gender identity issues I am about to come out yet again , ( Tomorrow i have to tell my support workers ) just came out to my partner again and a Trans friend kinda as i broke down in tears in a coffee shop , i hope you all remember me i am transgender male ( i was on T but i stopped it ) i missed you all but am back and hoping to me here more 😃 -
By Heather Shay · Posted
need distraction today - recorded just 3 weeks after they formed...... -
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By Marcie Jensen · Posted
The congressman posting about it is Paul Gosar, a bit of a right wing loon. I used to be in his district here in Arizona, and found him to be, shall we say, unpalatable. He is not mainstream by any means, and it doesn't surprise me that he is involved in spreading this hate and paranoia. Gosar is a vile man, imho. And, sadly, hate is often an expression of fear. In this case these folks fear what they don't understand or are willing to accept. Pity the puny minded knuckleheads, and as Carolyn said, watch your "six." -
By Jandi · Posted
I heard about this while at a trans support group yesterday. There was even a congressman posting about it. Totally false. It's freaking insane what they'll do to attack us. The worst thing is that people are ready to believe it. Sometimes I get so depressed. The only consolation is if I get killed, I'll go as a woman. (although they'll probably deadname me) -
By Jandi · Posted
I have family with those fancy set-the-time-grinds-brews, and is ready when you drag your butt out of bed. But for me, Folgers in my coffee-press works just fine. -
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By Jackie C. · Posted
My personal solution when I was pre-op was to use the toilets, but that's it. Nobody needs to see my bits. Especially if it might make somebody uncomfortable. Fortunately, there are some private areas where I used to change where I could go to do what I needed to do. The last thing I would ever do is make one of my sisters uncomfortable on purpose. I legit worry about pre-op trans men in bathrooms and changing rooms though. There's a certain flavor of toxic man... well, fill in the blanks. They tend to get worst in groups and egg each other on. Hugs! -
By Carolyn Marie · Posted
I agree with you on most of what you said, @Dee Dee. There is an understandable and rational basis behind the fears and reticence most cis-women have about sharing changing spaces with trans women. Knowing that, I would never (being non-op) change in an open locker room even if, as in California, it is perfectly legal. I have no desire to make anyone uncomfortable or fearful, whether or not I personally consider it rational. Why force an issue you don't have to force? Restrooms are another matter, because you're exposing nothing and threatening no one, and I would fight tooth and nail if anyone threatened my restroom access. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Carolyn Marie -
By VickySGV · Posted
The Boarding House had one hell of an explosion to get all those 👿 roomers 👿 flying. Some of it is satire on the Texas leadership I have heard from elsewhere. It is indeed gruesome satire if it is, but with time spent on the subject of Trans to get their voter bases eager to support them, ---------- -
By MomTGDaughter · Posted
Ny m2f daughter's hair is thick, she needs to have it pulled back because it will get in her eyes. I do it for her every morning, I clip it with a barrett, the upper part of her hair is clipped back, the bottom part just flows down her back. It looks cute and it's just keeps her hair from being very messy. It also pulls her hair from her ears so her earings can be seen. -
By DeeDee · Posted
I had a rather depressing, but very understandable discussion with my sister last night that revolved around transphobia. We were talking about access to toilets and that evolved into communal changing areas at a local private gym. My sister admitted that she would be uncomfortable if she knew I, or some other pre-op transwoman was changing in the same place. She is a survivor of very physical and emotional abuse and attacks by men and she said that her reaction to seeing a male body part would be abject horror. She likened it to the reaction she would have if she saw a spider. She also feels uncomfrotable with male children being herded into the changing areas with their mums, so admitted that a lot of this was her personal comfort levels. Intellectually she knows that trans women are not a threat, and in fact, (because I told her) are just as worried about being attacked, and understood that statistically there is literally no grounds to support trans women as predators, let alone the fact that taking estrogen is tantamount to chemical castration - but she just wants to feel safe. I said, "so do I". The thing is, I also understand her perspective. When I went away with my lady friends I used the disabled loos at a rest stop on the way to the place, I worried about sharing a bed, and getting in and out of the hot tub with them, precisely because I am pre-op and I referred to having an outie rather than an innie, to make light of the very real issue that I did not want to put anyone into an uncomfortable situation. For my friends it was a non issue and on the way home at the same rest stop I used the ladies room, along with all the other ladies and I did use all of those spaces as just another one of the girls. However, as we were talking about trans women entering womens spaces (and trans men using mens spaces) I also pointed out that legally, in order to become post op here - which is not something every trans woman can or will do, we are legally required to have lived for 2 years, full time and using womens spaces. Even if we did not want to we are legally required to do so. I also know that the bulk of this safe space conversation centred around trans women and not trans men - though the issues for pre-op are still the same. At the end of our discussion I said that for me she was still transphobic. It boils down to the fact that while I see myself as a woman with too much testosterone, she still sees me as a man, using my male privelege to access the medical drugs and services I need (electrolysis and E patches) while women with hormone defficiencies and PCOS cant access the same services I am and have to fight for treatment. I never wanted, never felt like I earned, nor have I tried to take advantage of my male privielge, but I recognise I have had it, I have not dealt with the same levels of gendered abuse that she has suffered through. Even though she messages me as Dee most of the time, and has no issue going out with me dressed as Dee; it was hurtful, and eventually I fled through to my study after confirming that we still loved each other, just to not show how upset I had become. We both know that realistically, even in a shared changing area no one would be likely to flash their bits and any predator would not go to the effort and pain of transitioning in order to abuse others. We both have fears about being attacked and just want to be safe when we are out, we both want to simply live our lives, and we both think that realistically non gendered facilities are the best compromise, but most importantly we both also agreed that the problem is not women, but men, and the freedom society has given them to act inappropriately without consequence, and that culture is what needs to change. I am glad we had the conversation. I had already picked up on her reticence sometimes, while she does talk to me about things she would not have dreamed of doing before I announced I was trans. I do see my sister as someone with a genuine phobia, and not just someone who is bigotted and thinks I shouldn't exist. Hopefully over time she will find these things easier, but the whole point of phobias is that they are irrational and do not make logical sense, so part of me wonders if I will ever be woman enough for her or if I will always be her brother. I know it hurt because it's taken me almost a full day to get to the point of being able to try and write about it. I guess I want to know how do we get to a point where everyone feels safe? -
By Jackie C. · Posted
I absolutely feel that. I've donated every thread of my boy clothes. Never liked them anyway. Also hey mom! Nice to see that you're still with us! Hugs! -
By MomTGDaughter · Posted
I donate the last of my daughter's male clothes 9 months ago, she wanted to part with every piece of it and i don't blame her. It just seems like once she transitioned, she did not want to go back. -
By Jamie73 · Posted
They did a wonderful job making the doll actually look like Laverne Cox.
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