Androgyne and Multigender Forums
Androgyny is marked by characteristics of both genders resulting in a non-gendered or gender-neutral appearance.
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By MomTGDaughter · Posted
Ny m2f daughter's hair is thick, she needs to have it pulled back because it will get in her eyes. I do it for her every morning, I clip it with a barrett, the upper part of her hair is clipped back, the bottom part just flows down her back. It looks cute and it's just keeps her hair from being very messy. It also pulls her hair from her ears so her earings can be seen. -
By DeeDee · Posted
I had a rather depressing, but very understandable discussion with my sister last night that revolved around transphobia. We were talking about access to toilets and that evolved into communal changing areas at a local private gym. My sister admitted that she would be uncomfortable if she knew I, or some other pre-op transwoman was changing in the same place. She is a survivor of very physical and emotional abuse and attacks by men and she said that her reaction to seeing a male body part would be abject horror. She likened it to the reaction she would have if she saw a spider. She also feels uncomfrotable with male children being herded into the changing areas with their mums, so admitted that a lot of this was her personal comfort levels. Intellectually she knows that trans women are not a threat, and in fact, (because I told her) are just as worried about being attacked, and understood that statistically there is literally no grounds to support trans women as predators, let alone the fact that taking estrogen is tantamount to chemical castration - but she just wants to feel safe. I said, "so do I". The thing is, I also understand her perspective. When I went away with my lady friends I used the disabled loos at a rest stop on the way to the place, I worried about sharing a bed, and getting in and out of the hot tub with them, precisely because I am pre-op and I referred to having an outie rather than an innie, to make light of the very real issue that I did not want to put anyone into an uncomfortable situation. For my friends it was a non issue and on the way home at the same rest stop I used the ladies room, along with all the other ladies and I did use all of those spaces as just another one of the girls. However, as we were talking about trans women entering womens spaces (and trans men using mens spaces) I also pointed out that legally, in order to become post op here - which is not something every trans woman can or will do, we are legally required to have lived for 2 years, full time and using womens spaces. Even if we did not want to we are legally required to do so. I also know that the bulk of this safe space conversation centred around trans women and not trans men - though the issues for pre-op are still the same. At the end of our discussion I said that for me she was still transphobic. It boils down to the fact that while I see myself as a woman with too much testosterone, she still sees me as a man, using my male privelege to access the medical drugs and services I need (electrolysis and E patches) while women with hormone defficiencies and PCOS cant access the same services I am and have to fight for treatment. I never wanted, never felt like I earned, nor have I tried to take advantage of my male privielge, but I recognise I have had it, I have not dealt with the same levels of gendered abuse that she has suffered through. Even though she messages me as Dee most of the time, and has no issue going out with me dressed as Dee; it was hurtful, and eventually I fled through to my study after confirming that we still loved each other, just to not show how upset I had become. We both know that realistically, even in a shared changing area no one would be likely to flash their bits and any predator would not go to the effort and pain of transitioning in order to abuse others. We both have fears about being attacked and just want to be safe when we are out, we both want to simply live our lives, and we both think that realistically non gendered facilities are the best compromise, but most importantly we both also agreed that the problem is not women, but men, and the freedom society has given them to act inappropriately without consequence, and that culture is what needs to change. I am glad we had the conversation. I had already picked up on her reticence sometimes, while she does talk to me about things she would not have dreamed of doing before I announced I was trans. I do see my sister as someone with a genuine phobia, and not just someone who is bigotted and thinks I shouldn't exist. Hopefully over time she will find these things easier, but the whole point of phobias is that they are irrational and do not make logical sense, so part of me wonders if I will ever be woman enough for her or if I will always be her brother. I know it hurt because it's taken me almost a full day to get to the point of being able to try and write about it. I guess I want to know how do we get to a point where everyone feels safe? -
By Jackie C. · Posted
I absolutely feel that. I've donated every thread of my boy clothes. Never liked them anyway. Also hey mom! Nice to see that you're still with us! Hugs! -
By MomTGDaughter · Posted
I donate the last of my daughter's male clothes 9 months ago, she wanted to part with every piece of it and i don't blame her. It just seems like once she transitioned, she did not want to go back. -
By Jamie73 · Posted
They did a wonderful job making the doll actually look like Laverne Cox. -
By Carolyn Marie · Posted
https://pagesix.com/2022/05/25/laverne-cox-honored-as-first-transgender-barbie-doll/ Carolyn Marie -
By Carolyn Marie · Posted
https://www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/out-news/trans-womans-photo-used-spread-baseless-online-theory-texas-shooter-rcna30511 I'm not the least surprised by this. This is what conspiracy theorists do. They're also spreading rumors that the shooter was an undocumented alien, which even the Texas governor said is false. Carolyn Marie -
By Vidanjali · Posted
I saw "Theydies & Gentlethem" on a tee-shirt and just found it so delightful. That's all. That's the whole post, lol. P.S. Now if only there were a gender neutral version of "ma'am". OMG, I feel I've been ma'am'ed about a hundred fifty million times this week on the phone as I've been attending to a variety of medical appointments and issues... -
By Vidanjali · Posted
That makes complete sense to me, @Cary . I usually don't tell people that I'm trans/nonbinary/possibly-trans-masc/asexual/panromantic/etc., but I have experienced personal affirmation exploring and identifying with microlabels because doing so has helped me to put more of the puzzle pieces of my past together so that I can increase my potential to experience life as a more integrated human now. For instance, understanding myself as panromantic has helped me to understand certain past behaviors, inclinations, and interactions which seemed most irregular, confusing, and distressing in the past - when I recall a thing that used to seem confounding, and am able to say, ooooohh, that's what that was, then I feel like I make more sense to myself. Moreover, through understanding identification with some microlabels I've experienced healing as I am able to construe certain past stressful experiences in the context of performance, overcompensation, or internalized phobia. I can't say whether there's a general consensus about microlabels within this community, but I dare say that there is a consensus that each of us should do whatever we feel in our hearts is right for us in order to be safe, healthy, and whole. -
By KymmieL · Posted
Good morning all. 0820hrs and already 60 on the fenceometer. Glad it's going to be a nice day. I need to get some stuff finished on the wagon for our trip tomorrow. We are heading to Lincoln for the weekend. As the 31st is my oldest grandsons birthday. Taking him and my granddaughter to Cars and Coffee Sat at Speedway Motors. I still don't get my wife. yesterday, we go and look at a house. She is OK with me wearing a ladies Harley t with a padded bra. obviously, showing that I have breasts. Go figure. I guess even women don't understand women. We put in an offer for this home. Should hear something later today. Well off to the salt mines in a bit, but first coffee. As always brought to you today by Folgers. Hugs, Kymmie -
By Jackie C. · Posted
Best practice is to call them and ask. I'm covered because of my alopecia but some providers allow scalp prosthetics for trans patients too. I personally didn't get fitted, but I'm like THE adjustable band size. Default fits me great. They'll absolutely fit and style it for you at the boutique though. Honestly it was a great experience. My wig-seller actually warned me off human hair. It's WAY more expensive, doesn't wear as well and it's harder to dye if you're trying to color match. She basically said human hair is great if you want black. But check out Raquel Welch and Renee of Paris depending on what your hair situation is and see what you like. Hugs! -
By Mmindy · Posted
Good morning everyone, It's going to be a hot day in the shop. Hair up in a ponytail then up under a welding beanie, so I can wear my face-shield for grinding and then the welding helmet. Bib overalls, long sleeve denim shirt, leather apron, and heavy gloves. I'll stay hydrated, and aware of my physical condition, as I sweat away the pounds. On the days I work hard, I don't workout. Fans will be blowing from all directions. Best wishes, positive motivation, and safety for all, Mindy🐛🏳️⚧️🦋 -
By Davie · Posted
Thanks for asking, @Cary. I identify to some extent as Trans Non-Binary . . . but I try to take the advice I've heard here on TP. To work on creating what's right for me, beyond the labels. It's more like creating a story for myself rather work under a label. To chat over coffee does not require me to have read your resume. I will learn about you in context of your own on-going life, not from the name on your lapel tag. It may not be that instantly satisfying, but it's far more interesting. Enjoy the ride. Warning: all new roads have bumps. — Davie -
By Heather Shay · Posted
Is it someone who you can confide in? Is it inner strength and courage? Is it your favorite pet? What helps you get through the pain? -
By Willow · Posted
Hi @KathyLauren I didn’t think about that answer. But you are right. There are times and situations where we must care for ourselves in order to be able to care for others. @CD Rachel I’m glad you heard back from “Marie”. I know how upset you were, and how happy you are. have a great day everyone Willow
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