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By KathyLauren · Posted
Welcome, Emilie! It sounds like you may need a new, better therapist! I have never heard of one recommending online forums in preference to qualified therapy. But hopefully the members here will do a better job than your therapist. One technique that my therapists have used when I was in a situation like that is the "what if". What if I could wave a wand and magically guarantee that no one would react negatively to your coming out? Would you come out then? I am not going to answer that for you: you will have to provide your own answer. But when I was asked that question, my answer was "Heck, yes. If everyone was supportive, I would come out in a second." My answer indicated that my hesitation was not because I was not trans. It was because I was scared. Being scared does not mean that you are not trans. Make sure that your therapist knows that it is the reason for your hesitation. Being scared is totally normal. Coming out is a scary process. We can't predict other people's reactions, and some of them are likely to be negative. On the other hand, you probably know some people who will be supportive. My experience was that the reality ended up being a lot less scary than I had feared. -
By Nats · Posted
@Sally Stone Sorry, self indulgent, self pitying rant!!! I'll go back in my box, now! -
By Nats · Posted
@Sally Stone Yes I know, in my more objective moments. You're right, of course. For my part, I've completely lost faith in British voters. They voted for Brexit, and for me the generation that did that (mine) is lost for ever, there's no rowing back from that, and no forgiveness, on my part. Even now there are large numbers of people who genuinely think that was the right thing to do. They made Boris Johnson Prime Minister (mini Trump, he played a clown but was actually far more intelligent than Trump - which in my view, makes him worse). They did that twice (the second time with a bigger majority). Worse, they then made Liz Truss PM. And then acted with such surprise when she crashed the economy. I mean, really?!? That surprised you?!? And out there in the UK provinces there are people in Conservative Party branches who genuinely, honestly believe that she was somehow right, in defiance of logic, common sense and evidence. And btw Conservative Party branches in the UK provinces are TERF incubators, with all the indoctrination you could ask for. I have never felt like this - it's a new thing for me, to be so far, in spirit, from my own country - but I am completely distanced from the majority of British voters. I'm not a party member - left or right - but years ago, Labour was taken over by the extreme left, and the Conservatives by th extreme right. Labour went back to the centre, the Conservatives didn't. That party is led by people who are off-the-chart in terms of ideological barminess. And yes, they have trans people in their sights in the 'Woke wars'. I feel betrayed by British voters, alienated, I find it hard not to regard most of them as deeply, deeply unintelligent, and not very nice human beings. I don't want to be associated with them. I look at neighbours through narrowed eyes wondering how they voted, and if I don't know, I'm reserved and withdrawn with them. I know I take it too personally, but it's hard not to. There is now a UK Labour (think 'Democrat') Govt with a big majority that generally doesn't do the sort of nasty stuff that's happening in Montana but many of Labour's seats were won with slender majorities, so the win was broad but not deep. I mean, after everything, large numbers of people still voted Conservative. What on earth was going on in their heads? Labour has made some quite big, annoying missteps, but nothing, absolutely nothing in comparison to the car crash bad joke that UK Government was for years, and years, and years. I know it's not just a UK issue and seeing this utterly idiotic rubbish in the US (which we do all the time, of course) reminds me of that. *Sigh*. This too will pass, I guess. Not sure I'll be around to see it, though. Didn't someone on here ask if we were optimists or pessimists a few days ago?!? -
By Emilie Spiegel · Posted
Hello, my name is Ash and I’m currently in therapy and I’m trying to come out. The problem is that my therapist isn’t sure if I’m really trans, because I’m not as motivated as other patients. But that is because I’m kinda scared. I alr tried to talk to my mom but she doesn’t seem to understand, doesn’t matter how hard I try and she says that she doesn’t want to call me Ash because my therapist isn’t sure about me wanting to be a boy. Idk if I should try talking with my dad. He seems more understanding. It’s just so hard. Idk what to do. I feel like I have to be two people at once. Idk how to come forward. My therapist suggested to get help through forums. So someone please help me🙏🙏 -
By Sally Stone · Posted
The problem with voters is that we are lazy and don't take the time to research a legislator's track record. If we really dug into a legislator's record to see if their work has been meaningful or effective, there are many we wouldn't re-elect. A bathroom bill to restrict the rights of transgender; come on, when would that ever be effective or meaningful legislation? If we keep giving these oxygen thieves a pass, we will keep getting the congress and senate we deserve. -
By Sally Stone · Posted
In so many ways, it's all about the money. Bills that deny transgender rights don't cost a lot of money. Real legislation often carries hefty expense, which is why enacting such legislation requires hard work. Pass an easy bill, award yourself a trophy, pass a hard bill award yourself a trophy. It isn't hard to see why we are the target of our legislators. -
By VickySGV · Posted
"State Representative to people: I have just introduced legislation to repair Highway ## that goes by your homes and makes all your business and social life possible by removing ??? potholes and dangerous ??? that wear your cars and trucks out fast and endanger your lives daily. Constituents: Yes YEAH, golly great !!! State Rep: The work is however going to raise you property taxes by 3 cents per square mile of area!! Constituents: "Impeach the walrus!! Get the tar and feathers and a rail to ride him out of state on!! --------------------------------------------- So the State Rep - introduces legislation against Trans People, and its alright again if he does not tell them what it means for their Highway to cost them next to nothing. -
By VickySGV · Posted
With that on the shelf, now they can turn their minds to such things as recovery from the weather related damage that has been done in their state and improvement of their state owned and maintained roads, public health issues for the general public which are not being addressed while Trans issues are debated and (heaven help them) education can be addressed. Our health needs are hundredths of pennies (.001 cents) compared to the needs for local water and sewer systems, and even electrical systems that are the shared resources of all of their citizens. Only problem is that they have to speak of money that is real, and may need a tax increase to see that the majority of citizens who elected them are safe and able to conduct their daily life and affairs. We can't have that can we!!! -
By MaeBe · Posted
Definitely. ☺️ Awesome❣️ -
By VickySGV · Posted
An item that is implied here is to get us out of the limelights and cross-hairs of the politicians long enough to get our real work done which is to bolster science and facts at hand and give the medical profession tools to do its job. I think that is what Levine is suggesting for our future and I am for it, since she does note our resilience. We have become the low hanging fruit when an "ISSUE" was needed to show actions to mask their ineffectiveness in the TRUE sense of government involvement in the daily lives of people. 1.6% of the population being the center of focus leaves 98.4% without meaningful representation. -
By Ivy · Posted
That would be back in the closet for me. I live openly as a woman, but it's not hard to clock me. Sure, I have the option of getting a male wardrobe, letting my facial hair grow out, tossing my wig, etc. I could wear loose clothes so my breasts wouldn't be as obvious. I got away with that for years, and I think I could pull it off again. My name might still be a problem though. My State only lets me change it once, and I've already used that option. I wonder if I'd need a health care person to sign off on changing my gender back to male? I suppose I could still wear a dress around the house as long as I never answered the door. My online history might still be a problem though. Apparently they do, because they keep electing these people. -
By Nats · Posted
Unbelievable to me that voters accept that an elected body would waste its time on something as idiotic as this. Have they not got much on? If they're bored, and dreaming up wheezes to pass their time, then what is their House actually for? Is it worth the expense? Aren't there any more substantive issues affecting voters? You could work out what it cost to pass this legislation, at least roughly. Divide the total annual running costs by the number of hours they sat, so you have an hourly cost, then multiply by the number of hours spent on this garbage. Add in any additional costs (consultants, suppliers, expenses incured by members on this topic) if they weren't covered in the annual running costs. I'm guessing it will be $hundreds-of-thousands. Do the voters really think it was worth that or do they think there are more important things they should have been doing? -
By Vidanjali · Posted
Thank you so much. I literally just got back from the post office where I sent to them my used but unmarked copy of "You and Your Gender Identity: A Guide to Discovery", the excellent workbook by Dara Hoffman-Fox. I was concerned it might cause an uproar in their household. But they are excited to get it and asked me to not worry and just send it. And that's a nice idea - I'll let them know about TP too. @MaeBe I also loved the theme song in the closing credits. The film almost would have been anticlimactic without it. But in that sense, you kinda knew it was coming, else you'd think they'd have edited out all the anticipatory scenes. I do think Wiig was sincere - the song struck a balance between humorous and touching while being respectful...and with a jazzy part lol. A friend is a friend is a friend to the end. -
By kat2 · Posted
Might the answer be not to identify as Trans? I do not id as being trans -
By kat2 · Posted
when i was at ballet school we did yoga every morning at six that was the start of our day, seeing yourself as happy and successful can also help, walking in the countryside and listening to the sounds of nature can also be quiet healing
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