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This is the place to discuss news topics that affect our community. Discussions related to politics and activism should be posted here as well. This is also the place to list upcoming conferences and other gatherings.
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By Davie · Posted
Ah, @MmindyI admire your courage. No matter how it goes, we'll always have your back, as will your goddess—she's a tough M-F-er! — Davie -
By helena · Posted
Good <timeOfDay> So the vacation is over and time for work. Back to ye ole closet 8hrs a day. Starts feeling like being inside of an iron maiden. But it's also a payday so maybe some shopping therapy is also in order... -
By Davie · Posted
Yes,@awkward-yet-sweetyou're right. I've got a whole other "face" of me emerging these days . . . and I'd better not be scared of her too much. I need to learn to love her (me, her faces). "Facets" I like that word for it—and panim. They can help me to accept those facets a little at a time. The other day I spoke to a room full of trans folks and felt euphoria as I listened to a whole new voice of mine speak. The things she says! And she's wild with hand gestures, too. Gotta love it. Thanks, Davie -
By Mmindy · Posted
Good evening Davie, I feel this same thing when I go back to my hometown. Everyone there thinks of me as the hyper male, I use the project as a mechanic, firefighter, and biker. Even my siblings think of me as the patriarch of the family. I’ve never tolerated hate or disrespectful comments referencing the LGBTQA or special needs community. That being said very few from my hometown would understand my transgender feelings. I will be back there this weekend for a retirement party, and again for the Labor Day Weekend with family. Like you said, It will be fun, we’ll tell stories about the good old days, but my wife and I will feel as though we’re wearing masks. Since I’m not out to anyone but her & her sister. I’ll be wearing nice colorful clothes, my hair will be down in curly locks, held back with a multi colored cloth headband or sun glasses. My nails will be manicured, slightly longer than the end of my fingers with a mat finish. I won’t wear makeup, however my eyebrows will be neatly trimmed. I will also be wearing my favorite silver and turquoise jewelry. I’m not sure how I’ll handle or answer questions about my androgynous presentation. I do expect some will notice, and talk will take place once I leave. Maybe these questions will lead to some making the connection to my pro LGBTQA Facebook postings. If I’m questioned directly, I won’t deny my changing feelings. To say I don’t have anxiety building up in anticipation would be a lie. Hugs, Mindy🐛🏳️⚧️🦋💖 -
By Fly2188 · Posted
As a relatively new parent some of your questions about how parents and childhood affect us have been interesting to watch. When we announced that we were having a boy to family. My dad immediately got excited that he could dust off his model trains. It was like he didn’t realize he could do the same if we had a girl? At only two months old I found my mother-in-law holding our son at our front window pointing to trucks going down our street. Would she have done the same if we had a girl? Maybe, but I doubt it. At 4-6 months my father-in-law was playing with a football with our son. Now he probably would have done the same with a daughter, but who knows. When shopping for clothes for out little one we look at both the boys and girls sections. A big proportion of girls clothing is pink and the vast majority has frilly/lacy/flowery accents on it. Why is there no pink in the boys section? Why does all the girls clothing have hyper-feminine accents? All that to say that gender norms start influencing us before we’re even aware of it, to some extent they influence us before we’re even born. -
By Justsam · Posted
Haha yep, I use humour to hide my anxiety as well. Yeah, maybe just having someone waiting outside for you might be all the help you need. I do remember one time when I had to go to the gyno, it was just before I started transitioning. My girlfriend came in with me and she saw how scared/embarrassed I was so while the doc was doing his thing, she flashed her boobs at me 😂 that's definitely helped to relieve the tension. You just have to do whatever is right for you at the end of the day -
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By Sol · Posted
I do have one friend but I wouldn't feel comfortable with her being in the room beyond prerequisites and going over everything at the end. Hell, I'm not even comfortable with my MOTHER being in the room during any physical exams. The thought makes me cringe, but I can always just ask her to wait outside if that's what I decide is best for me in that case. I guess you could argue that I'm not very shy about my genitals, I would just prefer nobody see them. And I can kind of relate to Cambodians, @Justsam, because when I get nervous I start rambling and making jokes 😅 -
By Sol · Posted
I bought some men's exercise shorts and I actually didn't notice is had a hole in the front until over two months after I bought it 😅 Still my absolutely favorite thing to wear during periods cause it's not tight on the crotch at all. -
By Sol · Posted
My sister is one of my biggest supporters, and I strive to be that way for her too. And I think I'm succeeding, cause we get along way better than we did when we were younger (we have a bigger age difference and I was going through a lot emotionally all the time). -
By Carolyn Marie · Posted
https://www.thedailybeast.com/david-bogdanov-guilty-of-hate-crime-for-strangling-transgender-teen-nikki-kuhnhausen Carolyn Marie -
By Carolyn Marie · Posted
Wow, Samuel, I think you've covered this really well. I honestly can't think of too much you've left out. One thing you could work on is male voice. I'm not talking about pitch and tone, as those will change naturally with HRT. I'm talking more about rhythm, pace, volume, word choices and mannerisms. There is a huge difference in how men and women speak. Along with that are how one stands, alone and in relation to others, the use of arms and hands, etc. I'm sure there are many Youtube videos on it. I wish you luck! Carolyn marie -
By CD Rachel · Posted
@Bobbi-BIMy "compulsion" to write has sky rocketed. I feel like I am much more in touch with my feelings. I am writing poetry and have even written a short story. I often feel as like if I do not start writing what I am feeling that I will explode. I am also feeling much differently about reaching out to others. Before I wanted to but it was a weak desire, but the urge to go out and be seen as Rachel and wanting to be where the people are has greatly increased. I feel that I am willing to put myself out there now and meet new people and make new friends. Oh and I almost never danced before. I was very self conscious and felt like a total idiot out on the dance floor. BUT Rachel dances!! She loves to dance. Dancing is better than $3x!!! Do not stand between me and the dance floor, someone may get hurt. LOL Oh also when I write it is an emotional thing. I can only seem to write when I have tears pouring down my cheeks. I look up from my tear soaked keyboard and something beautiful has appeared on the page. Something that has been purchased with my pain. ~Rachel -
By Carolyn Marie · Posted
People often talk about us being brave. I think the word is overused, but when it comes to "getting out of our comfort zone," as you put it, Colleen, it really does take a bit of courage. It's especially apt in the early stages of transition, when we don't look our best yet, or our voices aren't just right, or we're just nervous. What you said rings very true, and should give others here some courage of their own, that people are generally more kind and tolerant than we thought they would be. I felt those doubts and fears too, but it didn't take long to learn to relax and enjoy the journey. Thanks for contributing your thoughts. They will help others. Carolyn Marie -
By CD Rachel · Posted
@Heather Nicole I am glad you went and enjoyed it. The more you venture forth as Heather the more confident you will get. ~Rachel -
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