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What Is Crossdressing, Really?

Guest Leigh T

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OK so it's 4AM and this is raw thought coming out... this is not as polished as I'd like but as they

say "perfect is the enemy of done".

here we go...

I propose to differentiate a desire to "express" femininity versus a desire to "experience" it.

The thought of pampering yourself and get dolled up to go out shopping or clubbing or whatever, and be treated

and accepted a lady is fun and exciting. It's not something guys really get to do, at least not in the same

way girls can. We weren't as male-born socialized in this manner, so it's outside our experience. I

think most of us agree and desire this aspect, otherwise there would not be all this talk of dressing,

makeup, how to act, what it means to be female, etc.

Consider that most folks probably dress and behave and are treated differently when they go to work, versus going

to a formal dinner party, versus going to the mall, versus going to the night club.

Ideally, there could be a more extreme difference sometimes, and I could do some things as M****

(male-presenting me) and some things as Marcy (female-presenting me), and be able to pass either way.

Yet dressing and behavior are social expressions which are arbitrarily female, not intrinsically female.

For some folks it stops there and satisfies their needs. It runs a little - or a lot - deeper for some

folks, because there's also the idea of how it would "feel" to have a different sort of body. In my

own case, I personally am not troubled by my male genitalia, though many here are. Yet, I totally

want real breasts and the sensation of them.

I have no desire to be confrontational about a mixed gender presentation in the "genderqueer" sense.

Nor do I want to be cryptic about it in the "androgyne" sense either. I don't see myself as

having a "dual" male/female personality. If it's useful for folks close to me to see it that way,

that's fine, cause Marcy expects to be treated differently than M****, in the same way I'd expect

to be treated differently if you met me at a wedding, than at Wal-Mart. But I'm still "me".

Hence, my own core problem is that I kind of want to have my cake and eat it too. For me it's less of

"I think I need to be a woman" and more of "I think I'd rather have been a woman." However I do not

currently feel I need it so badly that I'm willing to fight as hard and sacrifice as much as others have.

So I see crossdressing as maybe a safety valve.



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Guest nayomi2438

I have been away for a while. Upon my return to this forum I see this question at the top of the list. What an extremely difficult question to answer. Every person involved has their own unique answer and like a beautiful snowflake, no two will be exactly the same. Can this question ever be satisfactorily answered? I don't think so but I can give you my personal response.

I adore women. My experience in life has typically shown women to be free and able to express themselves openly. Walking arm in arm is not frowned upon and they can cross dress without any ramifications what-so-ever. Think about it, if a woman wears pants, a man's shirt and a tie with flat shoes do you see any whispering or laughing? No, you may get a few comments about her style choice but that is as far as it goes. If she decides to wear boxers, t-shirt, or any male shirt as night clothing it is sexy.

Are you asking women the same question about their cross dressing needs, or why they do it? If the answer is "no," then why not? All I wish for is the same right and treatment. I want the same level of freedom so if that means I am a transvestite or cross dresser, so be it.

Women have so many more style choices, colors, fabrics, and designs to choose from and I have the right to enjoy seeing, feeling and wearing them. It makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside and allows me to emulate those wonderful women I grew up around. I derive a sense of freedom of expression and it separates me from the herd. I get to exert a certain level of rebellion against society's standards and while dressed I feel a superiority.

This desire has also given cause and motivation to get healthy as well. My need to dress and wear beautiful things has motivated me to lose 50 lbs to date and I am still losing. My cholesterol has dropped, my blood pressure is better and my doctor is very happy. What he doesn't know is that the lovely items I wish to wear are not available in size 24. Now I am down to a 14/16 and still wanting to drop another 25 lbs. I hope to be a 10/12 so I can really do some shopping.

The other benefit for me is that I develop a whole new personality when dressed. My wife loves it. She now has a new girlfriend that she can share everything with and mean everything. She has revealed a side of herself to me as Nayomi that was always hidden from "John" the man. We get manicures and pedicures together. We shop for shoes and other lovely girl things together. We have no secrets. Long weekends at home are never boring as we just put on a fashion show and create outfits and search for new things to wear.

So, you see how every person has different reasons and results from this activity. I know I probably rambled a bit but the point is that you will have trouble getting a conclusive reason as to why we do what we do. I say to each his own and respect people for the content of their character not the fabric of their clothes.



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Please don't get defensive by my question. I am trying to understand the dynamics of crossdressing for men as women. Could someone please explain this to me so I can understand why a heterosexual male who is happy being a male would want to dress in the clothing of the opposite sex. Again, please don't take offense of my question. I am just trying to learn about this.

Thank you,


I'd like to take a shot at this. First, I am married, have kids, love my wife and have zero homosexual tendencies. As I write this, I am wearing a tight little black dress, thigh high stockings, bra, G-string, breast forms (C cup), 4" stiletto heels, a wig, jewelry and my face is totally made up. I bought all my clothing, my wife does not know. She is out of town and I have been a "woman" 24 hours a day since Friday. I think I look quite good actually. I get a sense of peace when I am made up. Even a sense of accomplishment. It's hard to do this and look good. I have to admit there is a sense of exhilaration and danger when I am out in public. Just last night I had to gas up my car while in girl mode. It was a thrill to step out of the safety of my car and fill up under the bright lights. No one seemed to notice or care. I have been wearing women's clothing since i was 8. I have never stopped. The Internet made my life substantially easier as I can not buy anything I want. When I was little, dressing up always ended in self gratification then shame. Too many feelings to account for at a young age. As I got older, I knew there was nothing "wrong" with me and I dressed up for fun. It always was and still is "fun" to put on my dresses or leotards or whatever. I like the way I look as a woman. I like the clothes, the colors, the fabrics. I like the pampering of putting on my make up, the weight of my earrings on my earlobes, the jangle of my bracelets. Basically, I like being a woman, if only for a few hours or days or minutes. As a man, I can't make myself look better. The clothes are boring, colors are always white, black, blue and brown. I can't change my hair style or express myself in any way, visually. I can do that as a woman. I love it. You may find this odd, but I actually am amazed that every man does not do this. I think if you did, with an open mind, you'd enjoy it. Love

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  • 2 months later...

It's been a while since I first posted here and I have come a long way in my understanding of myself as TG. I have cross dressed at home for many years but mostly when younger. I now only feel a need every few weeks or more when I am totally frustrated with not being able to express my femininity and to really be a woman.. Since being really close to beginning transitioning, that is keeping me going now more than dressing. However, when I am dressed femme, I just get irritated because I know My body isn't female and I really need it to be. I would not buy breast forms becasue just using them would bring home the realization that I did not have breasts which would make me even more sad. So my question is this: how is it that men who cross dress only at home never feel an increased need to transition? Why is there not this increased sense of frustration DUE to crossdressing? Is it just their location on the gender spectrum? I'm asking soley to increase my understanding and to compare myself with others as well.

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Guest Samantha Husky

It's a mix for me as to why I crossdress. Mine started out as a fascination with pretending, playing one online, kind of like e-crossdressing.

It spread from there to wanting to explore my feminine side more, which has been helped by my wife being very supportive. It spiced up our sex life no end!

I've become far more comfy with my female side to the point where it feels far more normal having at least a pair of panties or stockings on, albeit secretly while at work.

So it started as an interest, grew as a fetish and settled as a more comfortable version of myself. :3

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Guest jenn VT

Hi I am new here thought that I would post. I have been a cross dresser for about 28 years since I was about 12. I cross dress because it makes me fell good but I can't tell you why. I have tried to fight it in the past but it is a part of me. I feel better embracing it than fighting. I don't think there is an answer to why its like the Lady Ga Ga song say "born this way".

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Guest Elizabeth K


This is an old, but very valid posting.

Jenn - WELCOME - you need to introduce yourself in the introduction forum, grin. We have many many people who identify as cross dressers, here on Laura's Playground.

I am not a medical or mental health professional, but I AM opinionated - GRIN.


I am older and, for a few years, I considered myself a cross dresser - actually 50 plus years. But there was more going on it turned out. Anyway, I did tons of research.


We are probably born the way we are. (I still identify because I did it so long)

Cross dressing is generally getting in touch with your 'feminine' side. Crossdressers dress to be 'feminine.'

Transsexual cross dressing is affirming being female. Transsexuals dress because they feel they are women.

The similarities are startling. To be dressed 'en femme' is a state of being that is both calming and satisfying. Cd'ers also enjoy the erotic part of cross dressing, while transsexuals usually have less connection with that, though it can be there, especially in younger people.

Of course by now you have figured out I am transsexual. I have transitioned and live full time. I have no male clothing at all.

A crossdresser might think being dressed full time is very erotic, but to me it is just a natural part of what I am - no big deal. I do get a real pleasure of looking my very best!

So what you are is fine. I doubt anyone really knows definitively why male bodied people dress as women.


Maybe CD people need to express a side of them that non CD people never seem to worry about.

Perhaps being a CD person is to say,"I like what being a woman is, and can identify... borrowing a few hours to be 'feminine' is what I like to do."


Just some thoughts.


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Guest Penelope

I am coming to accept that I live in two genders.

Most of the time I can function as a man; and do. I can even view my female persona with some detachment.

At other times, like now, I must get fully dressed, made up and wigged; and present as a woman. It is not an erotic thing. It is like coming up for a gasp of air after being submerged in the sea.


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Guest stepnanie2


I am new to this forum and find comments most interesting. I myself am a crossdresser though not in public. My dysphoria was brought on through programming by a multi-generational cult family. I was drugged, tortured and forced to wear panties until my mind broke and created female alters to cope. As long as my female alters were out and present, this cult family would pleasure me until I would automatically become one of my female alters at the sight of panties.

After many years of therapy, I came to accept my female side as protectors. Without them I would have gone insane.

I hope this post does not offend anyone. However, I am not alone. I have met and spoke with a former cult member who programmed her brother-in-law in the same manner I was programmed. She knew I had female alters, but not how they were programmed. Her story validated my memories and flashbacks of my own programming.

I am sure that a male child brought up as a female isn't much different, though probabably not physically tortured as I was.

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Guest Alyson_

Hi all whom have replied to this thread :ThanxSmiley:!! I have been reading with great interest!! NOW : I have not been here for quite a while. Yet I wanted to be here :unsure: . Thing is I wanted to change my ID and a very nice person here helped me with changing my ID and such for me and before I knew it that situation and my not knowing how to prevented my being able to sign in :hairpull:.

Now to the subject at hand? What crossdressing has been and is for me. I truly believe my mother taught crossdressing to me. When my older brother was already in school, and I was not yet in school. She made me to wear a dress and panties and girl shoes and then threaten me that my dad would come home to see me dressed that way. All the while saying "Oh look at my little girl! Isn't she cute?" Oh gosh!! There are more replies I want to address but simply cannot. Besides it taking so long to do that :lol: ! So how about how it has been and is for ME? Ever since my childhood I have been so attracted to girl clothing! I always wanted to play with girl's toys instead of all those boring boy's things. Being married twice, both my X's never knew about my strong desire to wear women's clothes nor the times I slipped around wearing them. So for me the "hiding it" BECAME a game which started in my very early childhood. I have had my very feminine feeling at many and various times my whole life. I keep feeling a tiny struggle inside of being female yet being so happy being male. For me I do believe I have mellowed out with age. And I am most happy with my dress or skirt on with panties under them. I have been out away from home and just can't wait to get home and get into something comfortable. I have always been more comfortable when around femm rather than masculine men.


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Guest stepnanie2


You are not alone in how you were brought up as a girl. I had a pen pal years ago to whom this was done. She too was named Alice, her alter. However, her experience was much darker than what you have described. I will not go into her details.

I would like to say the sensations of softer femine clothing against our bodies does feel good and can be a turn on. My own experience was to fight the sensations forced upon me. However, it was much easier to give in and accept wearing what my male brain found unacceptable to avoid being tortured, especially when the alternative was being sexually stimulated.

Because I could not accept wearing panties as a male, my mind created female alters with whom I was not consciously aware for many many years. Even when my male self became triggered at the site of panties left lying around by my wife. I remember finding panties left behind deliberately for me to find on the bathroom floor after my wift would take a shower, or on the bureau of our bedroom. I can look back now and say her leaving panties was deliberate as they would be the only artical of her clothing left for me to find.

She, at the time, was a part of her multi-generational cult family and was was an instrumental key to my programming to deliberately create alters with whom I would not consciously be aware. I have since learned this was being done so I would not consciously remember what the cult was up to. I was purposely being forced to create an amnesic alters to prevent my conscious mind from remembering. Torture, drugs and sex were a regular part of my programming for me to accept my female alters. My mind quickly denied my male self to avoid further torture to myself and testicles which would stop when my female alters were present.

I was being and became programmed to respond to panties. I remember the first time I consciously slipped them on as a male. I had the strongest urge to feel the delicate lace trimmed fabric against my skin, telling myself that no one would know if I slipped my wife's panties on just to see how they felt. I was not prepared for what happened as I slipped the panties up my legs.

I watched the hair disappear from my legs. I stopped when the panties reached my knees. I was shocked to see my calves so feminine and hairless. I was terrified the panties would transform me into a girl. I decided they had to come off, but I could not budge them downward. Something inside me prevented me from removing the panties. It was as if I was paralized by some force which prevented me from removing the panties.

I knew I could not leave the panties at my knees forever and that I had to do something when I remembered a pair of scissors might be a solution. If I could not remove the panties, I might be able to cut them from my body. However, this meant I would have to pull the panties all the way on for me to conceal them beneath my pajamas for me to retrieve the panties.

I remember pulling the panties slowly toward my waist as I saw my legs transformed into hairless femine legs. I remember the panties reaching my crotch and feeling the cool silken fabric touch me there and feeling myself transformed into a girl with female parts. The transformation did not stop there and proceeded up the remainder of my body changing my chest from the familiar male to soft round female brests.

At this point I experienced what I believe was a female orgasm through out my entire body. I felt I was looking through the eyes of a girl as if the panties held a magic power to transform me from male to female. My male self held no power. I could not even talk. I was fully male, but inside a female body. Somehow, we began to communicate through thought. I begged her to remove the panties to see if I could become male again. She resisted at first but finally gave in if I agreed to put the panties on again sometime so she could come out again. With no other choice, I agreed.

She reached down and began to remove the panties. Nothing happened. I was not changing back. She continued to lower the panties and still nothing. I was convince I was going to remain female forever and was scared shitless. I spent the better part of the next hour planning what I was to do with my life. I had a wife and a daughter downstairs and I knew I could not explain being female. Then it hit. Just a tingle at first and then I began to see my crotch and legs changing back to male. Something inside me told me that I remained female for about the same amount of time I had the panties on me.

Needless to say, I was relieved as I stashed the panties away behind a floor pannel in the rear bedroom. I knew I was going to keep my promise to the girl inside me. It was from this point forward I was addicted to wearing panties. I would dissociate often while wearing panties and felt a connection to the girl inside me. I do not believe the cult meant for me to become co-conscious with my alters which I eventually did. I say alters as there was more than one created.

My wife, daughter and I went through many years of therapy as a result of the cult. My wife was first due to flashbacks of her uncle sexually abusing her, followed by her brother and father. Eventually, the cult memories surfaced. Our marriage was hinging on disaster when she had flashbacks of my involvement. I didn't believe I was involve, but entered therapy to prove her wrong. I eventually had my own flashbacks of being tortured and programmes. Still I found it difficult to believe. What finally convinced me that my programming was real was hearing from a former cult member who agreed to tell me of her involvement in her family's cult. She was only aware that I had a female alter. Beyond that she knew nothing of my programming.

She proceeded to describe how her brother-in-law was drugged by her father, a doctor, and then dressed as a girl and made to like wearing girls clothes by being sexually stimulated while wearing them and tortured when he resisted. Of course, this was identical to my own programming. All I could do was cry as my flashback memories were being validated. On line, I did find another former cult survivor who was able to describe the same process as being part of cult programming designed to create alters who would be amnesic while in their dissociative state.

To make a long story short. I still have my female alters but I am co-conscious now. They are a part of my life and protected my conscious mind from going over the edge. I would prefer they have their own time separate from me, but that is not the case. I still feel very awkward wearing panties, even under my clothes, but also do not feel I have a choice. The girls inside me want to wear their panties. I can wear my own underwear which does not feel right for the girls. So, we are at a stand off when it comes to whether we wear panties or jockeys. We have a co-conscious identity which neigher I or the girls are totally comfortable. What I would like is to have my own time and the girls theirs. I would like not to be conscious when the girls are out, and prefer they stay in the background when I am out.

I am sure there are others out there who feel as I do. Panties do feel good to wear, but we often feel out of place when wearing panties and other female clothing. At other times, girls clothing feels right to wear.

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Guest Alyson_

Hey hey stepnanie2,

Thank you for your reply. Yes I know I am not alone in how I was brought up as a girl. I find it to be a numbish type of good to see that. Alice is my alter as well. Of course you perceived this already, lol? But then I chose to leave out the the darker section (forced to do things and. . . .) of my childhood even though I learned to deal with it. My past still holds emotional and mental pain. Which makes it better for me to not tempt the memories. I can say no drugging was involved in the least. Let me just say this one more thing. Before my mother passed away, just shy of 3 years ago, she had said more than 3 or 4 times on the phone she did not want me when I was born she wanted little girl instead. I believe a mother's love is more potent than any drug. Even though I had never told her of my wearing femme clothes, that still was it's own amount of pain. I love wearing my panties and the rest. It has not ever been a problem as far as my male brain saying it is wrong. It was the society outside of my own life telling me it is wrong. My mother did not say it was wrong to wear girl clothes (of course) but the wrong, to her, was my desire to play with dolls and other girl's toys.

So my own nutshell is that my cross dressing seems so natural to me, it's how I started out in life - *giggle*.


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Guest mirandacdgirl

Just a reply from me as i'm trying to figure all of this out myself. I have dressed on an off for years. It used to be just a simple fetish type of thing, but has grown. It's not really anything other than me feeling pretty that makes me feel relaxed and de-stresses me. For a short time I thought of changing sex, but realized I love who I am being a male & would never cut off my male anatomy ;) .

I'm still very confused and just recently shared this "secret" with my girlfriend who accepts me as I am (She is the only person I have ever told) at first she was very confused too and tried to think of my cross-dressing as it were a different person altogether. I explained it's hard for me to express, but I could get dressed up and go work on the car & or do the things I do as a male. I just would feel pretty while doing it. I know it's hard for her to understand and sometimes I feel I should have waited to tell her as it confuses me too. Trying not to do it only make me want to do it more.

Confused, but glad to find a good forum to join to meet others like me.


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Hi Miranda,

Welcome to Laura's.

You will be able to find lot more information here and others that are like you. If you are comfortable where you are then you are in the right place.


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  • 3 weeks later...

Hi to everyone

I've just joined this group and this is my first post and have found this discussion really enlightening!

I just wanted to add my couple of pennies worth whatever it's value

I started dressing at about 5 years old wearing my mum's bras and panties (usually from the washing basket) - no idea what drove me to do this, at that age clearly nothing sexual.

This continued increasingly to dressing in the full kit, including make up, at any oppertunity I got, right through to puberty.

At this stage the emphasis changed to my dressing being a guilty, embarassing, dare I say "dirty" rush job for the sake of sexual satisfaction!

As the years passed I managed to slowly steer my ultimate aim away from sexual back towards the more straight En Femme feeling of relaxation, calming and soothing peaceful sense that I cherish and have, I suppose, been addicted to from Day 1.

This feeling is so markedly different to my everyday "masculine" me that is what the rest of the world sees - a "me" that gets angry with everyday things , a "me" that has mainly been dissatisfied with the career motivated choices I've made through life.

The thing is, I have always led a strictly heterosexual life and have never found men at all sexually attractive and at 55 years old still turn my head at the sight of an attractive woman.

When I dress as Vikki and spend what time I can as Vikki this is when I feel most at ease with myself - as me.

The strange thing is for nearly 50 years I've not once stopped to think through why I do any of this - it really has been just within the last year I,ve started to analyse my habit/desire/need at all and this was spurred on by my decision to, for the first time in my life, to tell another person about my crossdressing.

That person was my wife of 30 years whose reaction, I have to say, was quite remarkable and really surprised me, in short "Oh right! Well it's not going to affect us! If it's what you like doing , why should I stop you" This, however, is the subject for another thread some day - back to the original line

My conclusion seems to be that it doesn't really matter what the reasons may be - do I want to be male? - would I prefer to female? - is it my genes? etc.. , all that matters to me is that I am being "me" and any analysis, dissection of what, why, wherefore and any attempt to label it won't make the slightest differnce to what I do or who I am .

Hope this makes sense, I'm not used to writing on forums - hopefully future posts will be more succinct and to the point

Till then,


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I am not sure if I have already asked this question somewhere, and or if I have been answered, but I

don't find answer from my mind so I am going to ask it here, now (possibly again) as it should fit here

in this topic perfectly...

1. First of all, In the present I have certain intrest that I view as fetishistic, perverse maybe... One of

them I reveal here as it relates to my question, and it is strong intrest, obsession even in shiny latex


2. When looking back, at what I did, what kind of intrests I had as a kid, I remember I had some very

strong, obsessive maybe, intrest in certain types of womens clothes: stockings, long "opera" gloves,

narrow "hugging" skirts, corsets and few types of dresses or maybe ball gowns would be better word

and at some point, high heels came to the list too... I am not sure how I felt about those things back

then but I believe it was more that I found them beautiful rather than sexy (I was around 6-9 years)

3. Now in the present, my intrests in womens clothes are pretty closely focused to those same types

as what I liked as a kid, though now most of them I like in latex, and all the womens clothes I actually

have are made of latex, exept shoes of course... And now I would definitely define them all as sexy..

Beautiful too! ... but definitely sexy... there is definitely a sexual, arousing aspect to it all...

4. But it doesn't really work well, I find my self dressing up few times a year, and in general it feels,

great at first, while I am dressing up, but the reality fails. The end picture is incomplete and just plain

wrong as my body is clearly male... I feel disappointed and put it all away and don't touch any of it

again for months untill I find my self back in the square one and go at it again...

So... Is what I am doing really crossdressing or something else ?

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Have you ever spoken about your feelings with a gender therapist? That would be the place to start, in my opinion..

Your story sounds fetish driven, but I would be curious about a deeper issue too, given your dissatisfaction with the way dressing turns out for you emotionally...

I have no particular qualifications to guide anybody, but I am a trans woman who finds dressing unsatisfactory as a means to find anything more than temporary relief. I LOVE to wear women's clothes, but I HATE that I can see that I am still genetically male, despite my best efforts. It is the need to make my mind and body congruent that drives my need to transition into a full time female life. My very SOUL is female, but my mind needs to see a female body instead of the imposter male body I inhabit currently. Until my mind, body and soul all match up, I'm afraid I'll always be miserable..

Hopefully, you can find a gender therapist near you and you can sort through these complicated feelings and find the answers you are seeking.

Good luck and Godspeed! Svenna

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Guest Sheri-bi

Hello Vikki,

I found your post interesting. Your conclusion not to analyse but to accept, seems healthy to me. Your wife's reaction was also encouraging.

I was intrigued by your descriptions of your masculine side (angry, dissatisfied) and your feminine side (relaxing, calming, soothing, peaceful). I have probably spent most of my life being angry and dissatisfied (and maybe most of all fearful). I've always know that I had a feminine side, but I didn't really identify with it. I identified with being a man. It was expected of me and I didn't (or couldn't) question it. I became a husband and father and stayed within those role expectations. Even after I got divorced and lived alone and could be anything I wanted (at least in private), I still identified with being masculine. Only recently (I'm 58yo) have I shifted my identity to being mostly feminine. And with the shift, those feelings of anger, dissatisfaction and fear have lessened a great deal. I accepted not being masculine, which was the main hurdle for me to accept myself as feminine. When I no longer put those masculine expectations on myself, I could enjoy just being feminine.

When I was 15, I got blind drunk on vodka and walked around the neighborhood (or so my brother told me afterwards) shouting "F... You" at the world. I was probably angry about a lot of things then, but at the core of it may have been crushingly restrictive gender roles. I gave away too much of my life trying to please others, an impossible task if you aren't happy about yourself.

I wish you continued success with your becoming who you are.


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  • 4 weeks later...
Guest Kristyn74

I like the feel of womens clothing ,the fit,when did you last see a tee come to below the top of your butt crack?Tee dresses are warmer fit better and stop the draft riding up your back on a motorcycle.My girlfriend gave one to me after i had complained of the chill at nite riding home. little did i know she bought it from VS! Since the I've ventured out more different styles, some suit some dont.My GF does all the purchasing,and having a waist of 28 inche with leg length of 35...In male pants I can only get waist size of 34 for the leg length.Which bunches round....problem solved ROXY size 10au is the perfect fit,no belt needed.Sportsgirl and other surfwear is the same.

Oh an in the winter working outside a cami ,or a sports bra under a tee shirt,is less than a tank,and keeps me warmer


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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest thomasina uk

I think the short answer is, everyone has their own reasons. CD'ing is for the best part, a heterosexual phenomenon. Most CD's arent gay, and the ones that are gay usually are doing it simply for the fun, are because they are drag queens earning a living. Most of us are seeking that indescribable feeling of contentment and euphoria that was mentioned earlier in the thread.

I'm sure this applies to the other CD's here, as well as myself, we see it as an 'extension' of our heterosexuality rather than being in conflict with it. We feel you can't truly appreciate the female of the species under you have donned her exterior. It gives us a way to explore women that sex can't. I don't know, maybe i'm not making much sense here but i'm sure it will strike a chord with someone.


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What do you all think of the theory that Crossdressers suffer the same effects of gender dysphoria as Transsexuals, only to a lesser extent? Whereas Transsexuals need permanent physical change to relieve the torture of gender dysphoria, Crossdressers achieve the same relief by occasional dressing en femme?

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What do you all think of the theory that Crossdressers suffer the same effects of gender dysphoria as Transsexuals, only to a lesser extent? Whereas Transsexuals need permanent physical change to relieve the torture of gender dysphoria, Crossdressers achieve the same relief by occasional dressing en femme?

This thread is really interesting. So many different experiences. And I guess everyone's answer will be a little different.

But what you are saying Kairi, is resonating with me. I do feel a dysphoria, but for me its at a level that I need/desire a temporary transformation. I do feel something feminine in my soul deep inside that I have to keep suppressed in my life as a "guy". When I dress I feel like I am freeing something true/real inside myself. But, I could not/would not want to go further or to make any physical changes to my body.



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Guest thomasina uk

What do you all think of the theory that Crossdressers suffer the same effects of gender dysphoria as Transsexuals, only to a lesser extent? Whereas Transsexuals need permanent physical change to relieve the torture of gender dysphoria, Crossdressers achieve the same relief by occasional dressing en femme?

My CD'ing urges definitely come in peaks and troughs, some days i feel more feminine than others. It certainly has triggers as well, if i see a well presented lady in a nice outfit whether it be at work, on TV or in public i may well envy that outfit for myself.


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