'foward' With Mom?

[Guest Emily H]

I'm thinking of telling my mom that I really want her to see me. she told me she would be uncomfortable seeing Andrea, but I personally feel....that maybe, if i could like pass, or look completely different, maybe she could deal with seeing me.

Its not that I want her to see me, its just, it feels a step forward.

I asked her if she would ever be okay with it, about a week ago. She still hasn't answered.

I'm just wondering what I should say, what I should decide for myself. I really am tired of just suppressing and hiding myself so much.

~Andrea

[Guest ChloëC]

Hi Andrea,

That's a very tough question you're asking for a very difficult decision, and it's not really one that many here can answer for you. You'll have to just think it through and hope for best if you decide to go ahead. Coming out is a huge step and an important one, but there is no guarantee that your Mom will positively respond, so you have to be prepared for that. As many have said here, even if you do decide to tell, you'll have to give your Mom or anyone else a lot of patience and understanding and time, because these are all big steps for both of you.

Good luck and I hope whatever you decide will work for you.

Chloë

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

I'm thinking of telling my mom that I really want her to see me. she told me she would be uncomfortable seeing Andrea, but I personally feel....that maybe, if i could like pass, or look completely different, maybe she could deal with seeing me.

Its not that I want her to see me, its just, it feels a step forward.

I asked her if she would ever be okay with it, about a week ago. She still hasn't answered.

I'm just wondering what I should say, what I should decide for myself. I really am tired of just suppressing and hiding myself so much.

~Andrea

Sister, coming out to a parent is a big decision. There is no telling just how they are going to react, not only to the news but to the first time they see you dressed appropriately. You may want to have a few general conversations with her about transgender before dropping the bombshell on her, after all she has known you as her son for all of your life. 

I asked her if she would ever be okay with it, about a week ago. She still hasn't answered.

This is a game of time and patience, to push to hard may well push her away from you right when you need her the most. Give her time whether it is a week, month or however long she needs. It took my wife 5 months to accept what had happened to the point that we are staying together.

I'm just wondering what I should say, what I should decide for myself. I really am tired of just suppressing and hiding myself so much.

All of us here understand the wanting to come out of the closet and be who we are but we have learned, many of us the hard way, that moving too fast is usually detrimental to what we are trying to accomplish

[Guest Robin Winter]

Sister, coming out to a parent is a big decision. There is no telling just how they are going to react, not only to the news but to the first time they see you dressed appropriately. You may want to have a few general conversations with her about transgender before dropping the bombshell on her, after all she has known you as her son for all of your life. 

This is a game of time and patience, to push to hard may well push her away from you right when you need her the most. Give her time whether it is a week, month or however long she needs. It took my wife 5 months to accept what had happened to the point that we are staying together.

All of us here understand the wanting to come out of the closet and be who we are but we have learned, many of us the hard way, that moving too fast is usually detrimental to what we are trying to accomplish

Agreed. Only your mother can say when she's ready. Keep in mind, it's not only a step for you, it's a step for her as well. Believe me though, I *completely* understand the impatience, I have a bit of a problem with it myself in some ways.