Dress Codes

[Guest Ryan]

All right, so I'm in the choir at my school. When we have a concert, my choir director tells the "girls" (ie. the sopranos and altos) to wear black formal clothes, and he tells the "guys" (tenors and basses) to wear tuxes. I sing alto. So for our last concert, I finally worked up the courage to get a pair of mens black formal pants and formal shirt instead of women's formal clothes. I was the only soprano or alto not in women's clothes, but I felt so confident and happy. However, the day after the concert, my choir director told us that he was not pleased with the overall way we were dressed, and so now we have a new dress code. We have to wear dresses, skirts, or these funny pants that look like skirts. After finally being able to express myself, now I have to go back to wearing girly clothes, and I really, really don't want to. I would so much rather wear a tux like the guys, but there is no way I'd be allowed to do that because I would look starkly different from all the other altos. I guess it could be worse; we could be required to wear dresses, but I'm still kind of upset about it. I don't know what I should do, whether I should talk to the choir director (which would be difficult, awkward, and possibly unsuccessful), rebel and wear what I want to wear (which could result in negative consequences), or just straw inhaler it up and wear the girls clothes (which would make me feel kind of terrible).

I hate the way society is so structured with regards to gender. It makes even little things like this difficult.

[Guest Alexander]

I quit singing in my high school choir because they tried to make me wear this disgustingly ruffled red dress.

Um.... NO!

I really miss singing.

[Guest Sergei]

Hey Ryan. I'm a fellow musician, so I have had this problem as well in the past. I wore a tux for the first time in our last orchestra concert. The director knows about my gender change, and he was actually really happy to see me be myself and comfortable for the first time ever. He even came over and told me how good I looked. If I was you I would talk to your director. Musicians especially are very open minded people. He'll probably tell you it's fine to wear a tux. In my experience conductors are always moaning about the way the ensemble looks. This is usually because of the women. When you just say all black, especially to younger women they usually take free license. I've seen girls turn up to play in the orchestra wearing mini skirts and hotpants??? Not very appropriate for a concert. This was probably what your director was talking about, not the fact that you turned up in a tux. Have a chat with him. Let me know how it goes. xxx

Sergei

[Guest Starkstrom]

Hi Ryan,

I would also suggest to talk to your director. You shouldn't feel miserable while doing something you like. That doesn't make sense.

I'm sure there will be a possibility to place you in a way it doesn't look funny or inappropriate in the whole picture if he's concerned about how the ensemble will look with you in a tux. Also, the people won't ralize it, they might just think you're some younger boy still having a girly enough voice to sing alto *lol*

I used to play theatre and once had to ask my director for a new role because the one he wanted me to play in an assignment was... well... somewhat explicit in different ways. He was kinda confused but gave me a rather androgynous role instead that worked well for me.

Simon.-

[Guest Marco]

just wear the tux! if the director has a fit just explain your situation and if he reacts negatively then there's nothing to change into so haha you win. no but seriously, if you're worried about making the ensemble look weird then just remember that some older guys have high voices. some guy at my high school sings soprano!