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Pregnant Transman: Does It Help Or Hurt Us?


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It hurts us. He's doing what's outside of the norm, so of course people are freaked out. I personally think part of him is reveling in all this attention. What was the point of going on Oprah? He says he fears for the family's safety, and the child's safety. Well if you fear these things, then why did you do it? It's somewhat selfish. Imagine the hell that child will go through just because he wants media attention. If he would have just adopted like any other infertile couple, his family could be happy, undisturbed, and gone under the radar.
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Guest Jack Solomon
Theres definately tow issues. The getting pregnant itself, and the media exploitation of it.

The thing for me in saying he isn't/wasn't sterile is that he wasn't sterile for a woman, but as a man -due to that very inablity to shoot sperm- he is a sterile man. Why is any other man sterile? Because of some physiological inabilty within the male body. And if you're endevouring to live [b]in[/b] a male body then yours is sterile. Thats why its an attempt to "flip-flop" Ooop, I'm a man cuz I'm in a man body, but no, its not a man body because I'm gonna make it perform as only a female body can. I'm sorry but I'm gonna have to actually dang near repeat the sentiment of my own therapist and I disliked the way he said it cuz itwasn't nearly nice and wasn't even related to this; "if you want to be [done] like a woman, and have a [vagina] and all of that then say so, maybe you are a transgenderist, maygbe you're a "third" sex, say that, but if you are a MAN then do what men do."

Sorry folks, I'm gonna calm down, I swear it, the whole thing just gets me peed in particular due to the second issue; the media part. Taking all of the above and admitting that because of his one action -whether anybody agrees with it or not- you must admit that it is being viewed as "he's not a man" by and large and regardless of his own "rights" he has single handedly undermined FtMs as a whole to be acknowledged as men. It basically says "they are not 'really' " men and maybe you ought to find out if one of em wants to have vaginal sex or anything else and be handled like a woman cuz if that one wants to do that then maybe theres a lot else they want to do like women.

Hey, Evan, don't apologize. I see where you're coming from, I share pretty much the same view.

The media thing is sending out mixed signals. The other night I accidentally turned in for thirty seconds on an entertainment news program that was discussing the fact that he was pregnant again. One woman compared him to "if you want to be a cat and you make some changes, it doesn't make you a cat". Or something like that, but it wasn't exactly respectful, and it conveyed a pretty clear sentiment. I really cringed when I heard he was pregnant again. I had thought that ship had sailed but apparently I was mistaken. The problem with these types of stories about transsexual people is that they're the only ones any of the general public really gets to see--because the stories sell-- and that doesn't exactly paint a decent picture of us (to put it mildly).

By the way Evan, I did not think you came off as a sexist prick in your last post at all. You summed up some points I could have said myself.

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Guest CharlieRose

No worries, Evan, I can get where you're coming from. :D

But here's one thing.

No matter what we do, we aren't men. We're transmen. It would be nice if we weren't, sure. Everyone of us would rather not be, of course! But nothing can reverse the years we were forced to wear dresses, or were told, "No, that's an action figure, for boys. Why don't we buy this nice barbie doll instead?" And nothing can change the fact that we were born biologically female, and for a good part of our lives had a monthly reminder that we were designed to carry children.

The way I see it, it would be actually using the curse god gave me for my benefit, you know, for once.

And if that makes me a transgenderist, that's fine. I never said I was the most macho man in the universe. I've always straddled the gender spectrum, and expect I'll continue after my transition. But that didn't keep me from grinning all day when my friends told me they were going to start calling me my guy name. And though I might save my uterus for childbearing, am I saving my breasts for breast feeding, since I think that's the best thing for babies? Hell to the no! Those evil things will be the first thing to leave!

We're all different. It's just a matter of respecting who everyone is and wants to be.

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Thank you Jack, and thank you Charlie. The woman's comment you are referring to Jack is exactly what i mean; by doing it he himself has made people all over the place "reconsider" what is a transman. And some of em already had those views to start with all he did was make them feel proved correct. That "all he is is a girl who looks like a boy". And maybe thats how some transguys feel about themselves. Maybe that really is at the root of focusing on thinking "I will never be a real man." I''m sorry but I wake up every day feeling like every other biological man in the world. The dilfference is I have some other sex's body surrounding me. It does not matter to lme about monthly this and chesticle that, they are not part of me. They're like something I'm watching from a distance. I go places, a barbershop is a good example because there are no women there usually and the conversation turns xrated and subjugating of females in sexual terms in the course of some joke or story and I'm sorry I laugh. And the reason I CAN laugh is that I don't feel a portion of or attached in a personal way to the group in question. I have to actively remind myself to hold off often times in those environments from enjoying the "joke" or story too much because I realize that people eyes are transmitting to them "but you're part of who I'm talkin about? why you laughing?" And the factor of not wanting someone to think I would be amused if it was directed to me. But even then our reasons for me not wantin it are not exactly the same. MY reason is because I ain't a woman.

And for someone like him to twist anybody into thinking otherwise about a multitude of FtM who may be feelin the same way MAKES it our business. If he wanted a "personal decision" then he should have kept it PERSONAL. And there's 67 levels of private that got intentionally rejected between "hiding" and standing around naked on a freakin magazine cover holding his big pregnant belly tryin to tell the world "I'm bein a man" by doing this ????

I can respect all kind of folks. But be truthful about what you're being. Admit "where you're at" and don't try to make it seem like "this is all de rigeur" of anyone with label such-and-such. You want it to reflect on somebody, make sure its just you. Cuz if it reflects on ME?......we got a problem.

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Oh, and uh :unsure: I do try to keep my sexist comments off the board, Laura has rules and I respect her. Both as the owner of this site and as a woman. ....thats the crazy part about being a chauvanist....its like some strange coin with sides that seem opposite ..... I still sit and try to figure myself out on that one and how it is I manage to have the two things....

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Yeah, see you know, I really do agree with a lot of what Evan's said. What a lot of people have said, really.

Look, I get that we should all respect Thomas. He's a human being, after all, genders and sexes aside. But here's the main thing - he needs to show some respect himself. Whether he likes it or not, he knew that he would be affecting a community by coming out with this, and so his decision involved a lot more responsibility on his part. It's not our right to tell him what he can and can't do, no, but it's also not his God-given right to do something that will cast an entire community in a mostly negative light, and assuming he has a brain, he knew he was going to do that...and he did it anyways. For what? Some fame? Some attention? Some sympathy and charity from Oprah? Material things. He had the responsibility of how a whole community will be looked upon, even for a just a short amount a time, a whole community of people...that's a lot of responsibility. And he chose a very self-centered route, in my opinion. His actions seem to reflect that he either gave it no thought, or that he did give it thought...and his thought was basically 'to heck with everyone else and the progress they've been working to make'. I could understand even just a little bit more if this was a CRUCIAL decision for him. Like if he was getting huge benefits for coming out or something. But in the end? He just did it for some media attention. And you know what? Maybe in a perfect world, people shouldn't care about this, and people shouldn't look down on us just because of this. But they will, they are, and he knew that.

Basically? I don't care what the hell a man does. What a woman does. What anyone does. Live the way that feels right to you, and don't take substitutes. But when your decision concerns the progress and overtone for hundreds upon thousands of other people? You have to step down for a minute, and really think...and if you make the decision for yourself, then don't complain when others are peed, because they have every right to be. Suddenly they're looked down upon just because of what one guy they don't even know decided to do for no good reason. I'm not going to sit back and listen to people's crap about how "We shouldn't judge how he wants to do things" because at the end of the day, he had no right to affect me this way, and without doing anything, I'm left with less because of his selfish actions. Personal decisions should be personal. Not Oprah. Not MSN.

And I don't care, man or woman. When it comes down to that, you're making a decision for more than just yourself. You have to learn a little thing called "responsibility", and this guy just doesn't seem to give a care.

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Honestly...When I saw his 'News' posted on a webste I was scared to click on it. Why? Because I know all the bad comments people will make and all the bad media it will bring.

I have nothing againts him personally, I think he and anyone should do as they please. However, and sadly, as humans living with other humans we can't just run around doing what we want without having negative feedback. We will always have haters, always have anger towards us because humans will always have hate. Freedom of speech and freedom of humanity works both ways for everyone.

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Guest TBForLife

First off I've had two kids as a man.

And I'll do what I please with my life. For all the people who feel discriminated against in our community we are the last ones who should even think of saying a single bad word against one of our own.

Shame on everyone who has even though bad about this guy.

It's perfectly normal for Anyone with female anatomy to want to use it. Regardless of their gender.

ANY trans person making this much news is going to get hated on. But that's the initial fear. He's helped me out so much because he and I think a lot alike. Using his appearance on Oprah I've broken down barriers in the health community. As a pregnant man I was loved and accepted and my midwives were so awesome to me, they loved me and were so correct with all the male pronouns and everything. It was a GREAT experience.

I feel I'm like the ultimate human being. I have the love of a mother, and the strength of a father. I've done something few men ever get to experience and it's been one of the greatest experiences of my life.

As a parent I put my kids lives first. Giving birth to and nursing them delayed my use of testosterone. BUT what would I rather have? Those four years of my life back or the chance to grant over 100 years of life to two great and wonderful little individuals who are my life and my salvation.

I would not have made it through my transition without them. It was my daughter who got me off drugs and drinking and self abuse. It was her that got me to force feed myself even with anorexia. It was them, my children, who in turn gave me life.

Now I may have had to wait longer to get my T. But it was worth it. SO worth it.

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Guest CharlieRose

I was thinking about this issue this morning, and I realized it all just comes down to us having to "prove" that we're male.

Like, the stereotypical transman who's all muscles and tattoos, he made himself that way so that he could say, "I am 100% MAN!" and everyone would think, "Oh, there's no way he could possibly be a girl, why should I think of him as one?" even if he's not that macho in the first place. It's overcompensating for acceptance.

There's a huge (and legitimate) fear that we won't be able to convince people we're really men, and then bad stuff will happen, like being denied treatment, and existence, and all sorts of other things from the annoying to the heartbreaking.

But surely we've come farther than that! (Not the transsexual community, society in general) We've proven that gender is a state of mind that has nothing to do with your genitals (so... transgenderists are just as male/female as transsexuals by that logic, yes?) and we know that people's various amounts of masculinity/femininity have nothing to do with what gender you are. Like, I used to like wearing dresses when I was little. I don't anymore, but just look at a picture of me on Easter when I'm five and you'll know that anything else would be a lie. GASP! Aren't transmen supposed to start ripping their dresses to pieces as soon as they have control over their arms? Guess what? I have a friend who liked to wear dresses when he was little, too, and he's biologically and mentally male! He's also gay, but heck, so am I. :D (By half)

Okay, so that was just a weird little rant/musing that I came up with right now, and isn't really directed at anyone.

On to actually contributing:

Evan, I totally agree with what you said... ah... "If he wanted a "personal decision" then he should have kept it PERSONAL." Ditto. This was a very PERSONAL choice, and by that I mean specific to his person. By not pointing that out, making it clear that it's who HE is and not who WE are, because god knows how many other transmen make it to the mainstream media to represent, he MISrepresented us as a people. So if I ever become rich and famous I'll be sure to tell it like it is. "Some guys are like this, some guys are like that, but ALL of us are men and have been since the day we were born, even if we didn't realize it, etc." I've actually reconsidered my vow of stealth-ness in favor of being more of an advocate, because the more familiar people are with us, the more we'll all get valued as individual PEOPLE rather than just those weird trannies.

All right that kind of drifted a bit towards the end... I'm feeling ideological today. Have a good one! :P

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Guest TBForLife

Well I feel he totally represented ME

I mirror him in a lot of ways

Like ALL of the population we're ALL different!

He's not misrepresenting US as a WHOLE but representing Himself as a PART of US.

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Just to summarize how I see it:

We're for him having kids

We support whatever gender expression he wants to have

We recognize the struggles he had to go through

We understand that he's not like all of us

He may have helped some people who are like him

but

He went to the media about something he should have kept quiet, something trans activists like Jamison Green told him he should keep quiet

He presented something that is considered especially freakish to a world that already views us as freaks

He is presenting himself as your normal average transguy, which he isn't because there is no such thing

He may have undermined a lot of peoples' quests for legitimacy

All of his actions now reflect back on the rest of the trans community, whether he means them to or not

Basically, image is fragile and the world is still at the stage with trans people where they consider all of us to be the same. What one person does, for better or for worse, is what the world projects on all of us. Therefore, we need to be careful about what the world is seeing. Invisibility can be a powerful weapon at times, and we need to know when to show ourselves and when to stay hidden.

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Guest Jackson

Evan, you're not the only sexist, chauvanistic prick here. I nearly stroked out when I first heard about it.

Here's the way I understand it. When I decided to go through this process, I had to give up certain rights and responsibilities. One of those rights and responsibilities was to have the ability to become pregnant and birth a child. If I want to be seen as a man in society, I have to give those things up. In our society, we still view gender as black and white. We cannot, if we want some measure of respect from people, cannot bounce between the two when it suits our purposes.

There is an option of cryopreservation of eggs if someone is interested in having biological children. There is the option of having a surrogate mother to carry the pregnancy. These are very acceptable ways for anyone to have children if they are unable to for any physical reason.

To me, if one wants to become male, why would you then do the most feminine thing the human being can do?

Now, I would love to have children. When I find that special woman and settle down, I planned on using her biological eggs and contact a sperm clinic. There's nothing wrong with that either. If I didn't have that option, I'd would very willingly consider adoption. Adoption works very well. I was adopted. And I turned out relatively well.

I also just have a problem with how the whole situation was handled as well. But that's already been discussed.

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i dont know how to feel about this. i think its his choice and he wanted to get pregnant for his own reasons. i think it was a bad thing to advertise it though. i think this could hurt us because y become male, only to get pregnant. it might help in the future, but right now i think it hurts us. i think people could get the wrong impression and think were all just confused freaks looking for attention. i think its great he did what he wanted to and what will make him and his wife happy, but i think what he did with news media was just...not a good thing. just an opinion.

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Jackson, lol@ "almost stroked out" -exactly.

Charlie, bioguys "prove" that they're male all the time, its par for the male course.

TB, I can appreciate that maybe he symbolized for you that you could give birth to your kids and all and thats great, and if somehow you feel he made peeps in healthcare treat you differently than they would have otherwise (although, from what I can tell the Canadian mindframe was already different wih regards to transsexuality compared iwth the American) thats great as well, but across the board and to the majority of human kind all it was was an upgraded freak show with Oprah instead of Jerry as host. It was 60 minutes that translated into MONTHS of "ewwwwww", snickering, and lurid conversation at watercoolers. It was a visual graphic that where I live has played into SEVERAL cities actually REPEALING their human rights ordinances to EXCLUDE the lgbt community as a whole and religious activists campaigning vigorously that that their children need to be "protected" by legislating against not being able to discriminate against a trans person in housing and employment. So while it may have played better to an audience that was already liberal on the issue it crashed and died anywhere that it wasn't which -sorry folks- in 2008 is still the larger population. And if those locations where already more accepting to the community then they certainly accomplished it without Thomas' exploitation.

He wasn't the first to do it, he wouldn't have been the last and thats fine but eveybody else, including yourself, managed to do it and it occur, and you have your kids, WITHOUT being a poster boy that looks like "pregnant manwoman freak". Cuz I'm sorry but with that picture there any academic/scientific information you're hopin to pass along is drowned out for most people while they're ogling the visual and trying to "figure it out" feeling that it's "confused". And at the end of the day they shrug forget about it and go back to doing whatever it was they did before the "wierd Transgender story".

And I'm not gonna post anything else about it because frankly what one man does with whatever it is he's got is not interesting to me and it shouldn't have to be.

<--is leaving the conversation before he's bent outta shape and aggravated.

Yo Jackson, you feel like headin out for beer, cigars, and dancing girls? I need to relieve some stress lol

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Guest Jackson
Yo Jackson, you feel like headin out for beer, cigars, and dancing girls? I need to relieve some stress lol

Better believe it. I'm there. I try not to feel really bad that I live between two gentlemen's clubs one on either side of town.

I can't say that this whole issue this year has been bad. When I first read about it on Yahoo so many moons ago I didn't know a person (me) could get that mad at 3:30 in the morning. It just shouldn't happen. At 3:30 am everyone ought to be happy. But that was also the defining moment when I realized that if someone like him could get the okay to transition, then I should be able to as well. So really, had he not done this and gone public with, who knows where I'd be now.

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Guest TBForLife

I'm not going to comment any more on what Thomas did but I will say this

Do NOT say WE or US when you refer to YOUR views of OUR community.

If you feel his publicity has harmed you FINE you're entitled to that.

But I feel as part of that WE or US you so blanketed that I like the idea of not hiding from the world something so awesome and amazing.

n502638909_72198_5255.jpg

The Shirt says "PROUD PREGNANT GAY DAD"

And I didn't tell Oprah but I was a huge poster boy in our community, started a trans parenting group and am WIDELY ACCEPTED by peers who are queer and straight a like.

For me transitioning is NOT being more male. It's being more ME.

Again, as a trans person, Never speak for all of us, we have our own voices too. And for me RIGHT ON THOMAS! You're my freaking hero buddy

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Guest JamieDude

TB, I tend to agree with you, to some extent (although not to the extent you do, considering your username *grin*)

For me transitioning is NOT being more male. It's being more ME.

That's what transitioning is, to me. It's about being myself, and having my body reflect who I am "inside" <--corny

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Guest TBForLife

hehe the name is short for T-boy i.e. boy using T.

It's not about fitting into what heterosexual society decides is male or female but fitting into your own skin.

Like Thomas said when Oprah asked him about his pictures as a super model type girl- amazing gorgeous

"I wish I could feel comfortable looking like that"

And I don't feel comfortable without my hormones or my boxers!

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http://video.aol.com/video-detail/pregnant...ters/1763821509

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=6244878&page=1

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=6249290&page=1

I saw the full second Interview with Barabarra Walters and Thomas Beatie on TV the other night. I haven't found the full 1 hour You tube version but did find snippets of it. In the Full Interview Barbarra Interviewed a Doctor who knows personally of this happening to about 40 transmen. Thomas is NOT the first. It is interesting to note that not one of them chose to make it public. They kept it quiet to protect their child in the future. Imagine the taunting this child will get when they go to school. Thomas has also mentioned receiving death threats. Yet he called News Organizations to announce it a second time. Once you are a public figure though the cat would be out of the bag again anyway eventually.

Imagine in the future that medical advances make it possible for an MTF to carry a child. I would hope that the parent would forgo publicity at least for their child's sake. Every day when I edit the transgender news here it is noteworthy to mention that most heartwarming stories about us only end up on google and not the other national or world news service wires. Besides us, few are interested. However if a Trangender person committs a crime or makes us look bad they make all the news wires. Prostitution arrests rarely make anything but the local news. If a prostitute is Transgender and arrested even in a remote village on the other side of the world it is on global newswires. Can publicity be a good thing? Sometimes if it's presented in an informational way, it can be benificial. However we are looked at as sensationalist tabloid news no matter what we do. Most still have no idea of our high suicide rate or the severe pain we go through. Most people who get in trouble or make headlines do not affect their community. As Transgender people we do affect our community. Everytime I am out on the street I keep this in mind as if I do something wrong it affects us all. If I do something right no one will ever know. That's just fine with me.

I do wish Thomas and his family all the best.

Laura

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I hope this does not offend anyone here, as I am not transgender, but a parent. When I first heard of Thomas Beatie, my child had not come out yet. I thought the story was fairly bizarre. That was probably one of my first exposures to transsexuals. I could not understand why he would choose to have a child after going through such a struggle to become recognized as male. I agree that the publicity he has given is probably not the best thing for the child.

I do not have anything against Thomas, who is most likely a very good person, but this was personally not the best first impression, and definitely did not help when my child came out to me.

John

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I'm sorry but "he" is not a man. I know I probably don't have any room to judge but men do not get pregnant. I don't see how someone can go through transition, getting hormones and surgery, then go out and get pregnant and still expect to be called a "man". Now, don't get me wrong I think people should be able to live there lives how they see fit, but why did he have to go out and make a big thing about it? I was just watching Larry King on CNN and read comments people had on Larry's blog about Thomas, it's just a reminder how cruel people are and he isn't helping the situation.

Some people think that going around and promoting being Trans will help people accept us but I honestly think that if we want people to accept us we have to blend in. Show people that we are just like everyone else. Not go around and do the complete opposite of the gender we are trying to be and broadcast it on national television.

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Guest TBForLife

Most people who "call themselves men" and are offended by a SECURE MAN like Thomas who is so secure in himself that he's able to speak to individuality and personal choice outside of what society tell him he should or should not do.

Men don't get pregnant?

Thomas wasn't born a man (duh) so yes he can!

Women don't become men! How about THAT ONE.

How would YOU like someone telling you something like that?

I was told that last night by a girl I was chatting with.

Show up your insecurities be a REAL MAN and have some respect. (It's not in the pants it's in the soul but some of you talk like you don't have one of those)

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Guest JamieDude

I find it hard not to lose my temper when people use "him" when referring to Thomas.

He identifies as a man. Aside from all our debate on whether he has the "right" to call himself a man, we should surely give him the same respect we would anyone else who has preferred pronouns.

Taking the debate down to that seems petty and hurtful.

TB, sorry about the mixup with the name... it just seemed humerously obvious!

I am with you on a lot of what you are saying here.

When I pass as male, easily, when I have the little goatee I want, and have had top surgery, I will wear skirts, and shoes, and I will carry a bag, and wear a corset when I want to. I won't let the fact that those things are stereotypically female stop me, because I will be secure enough in my manhood to wear what the hell I want, and still be a man.

To do what the hell I want and still be a man.

Thomas Beatie is an example to me.

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Why do you object to calling Thomas "him"? Am I reading you wrong as him is a male pronoun? Since he self identifies as a man using the terms him, his and he is appropriate by the rules here. No one referred to him with female pronouns. He is a man because he calls himself and identifies as one. That's good enough for me and he should be referred to as one. Referring to him as female or with female pronouns such has her or she is against the rules here despite how anyone feels.

Many transgender people have children here both Ftm's and Mtf's. Most had them before transition but there are exceptions. There shouldn't be repercussions from that. I think the main questions are does it hurt or help the community and was seeking publicity a good or a bad thing?

I do understand that this is a charged provocative subject for us. It goes against the grain for some. I do think that we can discuss the matter with respect as we've done here on many contraversial topics. Everyone here has been referred to at some point with the wrong pronouns by someone, somewhere and it infuruiates us when it happens. Let's not do it to someone else. The last thing we should be doing here is questioning someone's gender as REAL or not. Male or Female Gender Identity is what we decide it to be be not someone else.

When I pass as male, easily, when I have the little goatee I want, and have had top surgery, I will wear skirts, and shoes, and I will carry a bag, and wear a corset when I want to. I won't let the fact that those things are stereotypically female stop me, because I will be secure enough in my manhood to wear what the hell I want, and still be a man.

To do what the hell I want and still be a man.

Certainly it's your right to wear a goatee and a skirt, however I wouldn't expect a long life span in this cruel, violent world we live in. What rest room would you use? You;d be kicked out of both. I can tell you from experience both personally and from users here that what you are proposing is asking for trouble and would be dangerous. I have been to transgender support meetings and those that didn't dress appropriatly for their gender presentation had the most problems. I'm talking about a 6' 4" MTF with a micro-mini skirt, stilleto heels and fishnet stockings and another Mtf with heavy black beard shadow with 2 days of growth with an ill fitting blonde wig (black hair sticking out underneath) and a mini skirt. Both were beaten and arrested for trying to enter public women's rest rooms and they wondered why. WHat do you think people who had seen them thought about the Transgender Community?

Laura

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      Pity that we can't just respect each other and get along.
    • Willow
      Good Friday Morning    I will be spending a good portion of my day at church today.  I don’t know how any of my family would have been with me.  They all passed before I figured myself out.  I often think my mother and sister may have figured it out before I did but maybe it was just my depression that they saw.  I don’t know and never will.  My grandfather Young unconditionally loved me but he passed when I was 9.   Same with my wife’s parents, both gone before.  We’ve never had the greatest relationship with my wife’s brother but we do see them occasionally.  They words and actions aren’t always in sink when it comes to me.   Sour kraut or boil cabbage were never big even with my parents so that was something we were never expected to eat.  Nor was anything with mustard.  My mother hated mustard and it turns my stomach. My wife tried to sneak it into things early in our marriage but I could always tell.  She stopped after a while.   well I wave to go get ready to go to church.  I have a committee meeting at 10 and then we have a Good Friday Service at noon.   Willow
    • Mmindy
      Good morning everyone,   @KymmieLI hope you're misreading your bosses communications. As you say keep plugging a long. Don't give them signs that you're slow quitting, just to collect unemployment.   I have a few things to do business wise, and will be driving to the St. Louis, MO area for two family gatherings.   Have a great day,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • KymmieL
      Good morning everyone, TGIFF   It seems like I am the one keeping or shop from being the best. According to the boss. I don't know if my days are numbered or not. But anymore I am waiting for the axe to fall. Time will tell.   I keep plugging a long.   Kymmie
    • KymmieL
      In the warmer weather, Mine is hitting the road on the bike. Just me, the bike, and the road. Other is it music or working on one of my many projects.   Kymmie
    • LC
      That is wonderful. Congratulations!
    • Heather Shay
      What is relaxation to you? Nature? Movie? Reading? Cuddling with a pet? Music?
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
      Having just a normal emotional day.
    • Heather Shay
      AMUSEMENT The feeling when you encounter something silly, ironic, witty, or absurd, which makes you laugh. You have the urge to be playful and share the joke with others. Similar words: Mirth Amusement is the emotional reaction to humor. This can be something that is intended to be humorous, like when someone tells a good joke or when a friend dresses up in a ridiculous costume. But it can also be something that you find funny that was not intended to be humorous, like when you read a sign with a spelling error that turns it into an ironic pun. For millennia, philosophers and scholars have been attempting to explain what exactly it is that makes something funny. This has led to several different theories. Nowadays, the most widely accepted one is the Incongruity Theory, which states that something is amusing if it violates our standards of how things are supposed to be. For example, Charlie Chaplin-style slapstick is funny because it violates our norms of competence and proper conduct, while Monty Python-style absurdity is funny because it violates reason and logic. However, not every standard or norm violation is necessarily funny. Violations can also evoke confusion, indignation, or shock. An important condition for amusement is that there is a certain psychological distance to the violation. One of the ways to achieve this is captured by the statement ‘comedy is tragedy plus time’. A dreadful mistake today may become a funny story a year from now. But it can also be distant in other ways, for instance, because it happened to someone you do not know, or because it happens in fiction instead of in real life. Amusement also needs a safe and relaxed environment: people who are relaxed and among friends are much more likely to feel amused by something. A violation and sufficient psychological distance are the basic ingredients for amusement, but what any one person find funny will depend on their taste and sense of humor. There are dozens of ‘humor genres’, such as observational comedy, deadpan, toilet humor, and black comedy. Amusement is contagious: in groups, people are more prone to be amused and express their amusement more overtly. People are more likely to share amusement when they are with friends or like-minded people. For these reasons, amusement is often considered a social emotion. It encourages people to engage in social interactions and it promotes social bonding. Many people consider amusement to be good for the body and the soul. By the end of the 20th century, humor and laughter were considered important for mental and physical health, even by psychoneuroimmunology researchers who suggested that emotions influenced immunity. This precipitated the ‘humor and health movement’ among health care providers who believed that humor and laughter help speed recovery, including in patients suffering from cancer1). However, the evidence for health benefits of humor and laughter is less conclusive than commonly believed2. Amusement is a frequent target of regulation: we down-regulate it by shifting our attention to avoid inappropriate laughter, or up-regulate it by focusing on a humorous aspect of a negative situation. Interestingly, amusement that is purposefully up-regulated has been found to have the same beneficial physical and psychological effects as the naturally experienced emotion. Amusement has a few clear expressions that emerge depending on the intensity of the emotion. When people are mildly amused, they tend to smile or chuckle. When amusement intensifies, people laugh out loud and tilt or bob their head. The most extreme bouts of amusement may be accompanied by uncontrollable laughter, tears, and rolling on the floor. Most cultures welcome and endorse amusement. Many people even consider a ‘good sense of humor’ as one of the most desirable characteristics in a partner. At the same time, most cultures have (implicit) rules about what is the right time and place for amusement. For example, displays of amusement may be deemed inappropriate in situations that demand seriousness or solemness, such as at work or during religious rituals.
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • April Marie
      Good morning, everyone!!! Two cups of coffee in the books and I am just feeling so wonderful this morning. Not sure why, but I'm happy and smiling.   Enjoy this beautiful day!!!
    • Heather Shay
      A U.S. dollar bill can be folded approximately 4,000 times in the same place before it will tear. -You cannot snore and dream at the same time. -The average person walks the equivalent of three times around the world in a lifetime. -A hippo’s wide open mouth is big enough to fit a 4-foot-tall child in. -Chewing gum while you cut an onion will help keep you from crying.
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