Nior's Writings

[Guest nior]

Requiem For A Lost Child

Forty years ago

Child was born into this world

Perfect in all ways with ten fingers and toes

No visible signs of a birth defect

Except one

Known only by the child.

Not a defect

As you would understand but a truth

Burning with the intensity of a white-hot flame

Destroying any doubt in the child's mind.

Taking small steps

Within the safety and privacy of a bathroom

Dipping a cautious toe

Into the waters of femininity

Testing the water's temperature

Before plunging head-first

Into the pool of life.

Filled with the confidence

Only a young child has

Openly wanting to be Wonder Woman

Looking back

Brave but very risky move

Living in a small rural Ontario village.

You know the type of place

Where cows outnumber people

Everyone knows your life and name

Gossip and bad news

Compete against each other

Like two racers spoiling for a race

Testing their speed spreading the "news"

Upon the local phone company's "party-line".

Sadly

Instead of being greeted

With open arms and warm smiles

Hostile angry glares affixed upon the child

If looks could....

Dimming the flame

From white-hot to a dull yellow colour

As the child sought shelter

Burying that part of themselves

In a hidden corner of their soul.

Still the flame remain lit

Standing as a beacon

Lighting a trail through hostile wilderness

Which society had become

During the bouts of depression and anxiety

Offering a possible escape route.

Shed not a tear

For that child is I

Now an adult

Walking the path now

So long lit by the dim flame

Once more

White-hot in colour

Having found herself.

© 2010 TAG

[Guest Donna Jean]

.

White-hot in colour

Having found herself.

I love this, Hon....

Very nice poem....thank you...

Huggs

Donna Jean

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Nior,

You are found

When you know who you are... when found, you realize that being lost was only an illusion.

Life completes all.

Love

Brenda

[Guest nior]

Nior,

You are found

When you know who you are... when found, you realize that being lost was only an illusion.

Life completes all.

Love

Brenda

I know, I should have added this yesterday, but this poem and two others, were asked to be displayed, at a local Trans-Pride Day Event, in late May, here in Toronto. The first time, that my work has been publically displayed anywhere. I wish to give thanks, to all, who have read this. Nior.

[Sally]

Incredible!

A beautiful work and such a wonderful way to express how being transgendered effects us.

I stood up and cheered but I had to sit back down to type this.

BRAVO!

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest nior]

I know, I should have added this yesterday, but this poem and two others, were asked to be displayed, at a local Trans-Pride Day Event, in late May, here in Toronto. The first time, that my work has been publically displayed anywhere. I wish to give thanks, to all, who have read this. Nior.

Here are the other two poems, I was asked to share:

Different Yet ....

Am always surprise

When people need to attack

Or take offence

By the very thought

That is no difference

Between them and myself.

Born to parents

Of various ethnicity

Yet live in the same city

Probably watch the same shows

On our television.

Openly you accept

Without any second thoughts

Gay/Lesbian's rights

As mainstream tv shows

Adopting plot lines

To include them.

Why

Are you afraid of me

Is it

Because i am willing

To risk all

In order to right

A genetic error in my body

Knowing this

May harm my health?

I do not need

Your "royal" stamp of approval

Rather

Removal of your toxic hatred

Many in the Transcommunity

Have endured

Throughout their lives.

Destroying without a thought

Their physical and mental health

By your torture

Disguised as "corrective" punishment

More concern

What the neighbours will think

About your "parenting" skills.

Can you tell me

Who is acting out

The adult and child role

In this familial drama

For i am having trouble

Doing so.

© 2010 TAG

Dr Jekyll/Ms. Hyde

Once there was a period

In my life which felt like

It was ripped from the pages

Of a Robert Louis Stevenson's novel.

During the early days

When i realized

My "then" life was a lie

Two different people trapped

In the same body

Living separate lives

Constantly at war.

Privacy

Much whispered but little seen rumour

Living in a basement apartment

Divided by the laundry room

Shared with the upstairs' tenant.

Nice people

But...

Scared to lose

What little support i had

When you hear homophobic comments

From one of them.

Ah work

The last refuge

From the stressful home front

Who the Hell

Am i trying to fool?

Looking back

Realize i was killing myself

Slowly

Physically and spiritually

By burying myself

In 60-70 hour work-weeks.

Must remember

This does not include

A daily commute

Of a three hour round trip.

Often sleeping on the bus

More than once

Missing key stops

In my commute.

Wish i could say

My work place was supportive

But i would be lying

And i was taught never to lie.

Stress and depression join me

Becoming my constant co-workers

As i load and strip trailers

Jacking my levels of stress

And depression.

Wondering

At what point

Would I find myself

Snapping

Like last year's winter kill branches.

My few but precious hours

Of free time

Taken on

A greater importance

For myself.

Spent

Lost in sleep and dreams

Dreamt of

Expensive jewels and a blue silk gown

Encircled my body.

Worth more than

I could earn

In a decade.

My arms

Wrapped around

The arms of my dream princess

At a Royal Gala Ball

Sigh.

Alas

Had reached the point

Which something had to give

Either the job or my sanity

Easy choice really.

In a calm but angry voice

Gleefully told my manager

"Goodbye...i quiet"

As the tossed invoices floated down

Scattered among the inbound returns

Ala the opening to

The Mary Tyler Moore Show.

Happiest moment in my life

Rivalled only

By my first day on HRT

Never realize

Such happiness could exist

Until then.

© 2010 TAG

[Guest miss kindheart]

I loved it therisa

<<< hug >>>

vanna