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Hormones - There And Back Again.


Guest Hydraxide

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Guest Hydraxide

I know, technically this should probably be in the HRT forum, but its more androgyne related in my opinion. Or rather, the scenario is directed at androgynes. I am also not condoning playing with hormones, which is a dumb idea, but rather investigating a thought experiment, one that doubtless many others have had cross their minds.

So, picture this: You are male or female and you want to look like neither; the inbetween. What is this in your eyes? If male, you want feminine face and body shape, but perhaps not breast development. If female, you want some more muscle and a leaner body shape but not necessarily facial hair and your voice breaking.

What do you do? Hormones seemingly are an 'all or nothing' approach. You can't dose yourself with AA's and estrogen and expect to land up 'in the middle' They will keep going and eventually push you out the other side. You could perhaps invest in a breast binder and hope like hell that they won't end up too large to hide; maybe that will work and maybe it won't. For females, taking testosterone will grant you the traits you desire, but eventually your voice will break and the beard will start to show. Dammit!

So, is the solution then to take hormones for a few months then stop for a period and restart? How far will you go? For the male andro, taking AAs without replacement sex hormones is not very wise in the long run as it can cause skeletal weakness and other knock-on effects. So, what I am considering (for myself and I'm still only considering, not going forward with it) is to deliberately not complete a full transition, as in not having full surgery. Yes, on the exterior and to all onlookers I would be female as the, uh..'proof' of male is concealed by the trousers. Would you consider doing this, as if you stop taking hormones then your body will 'reshape' itself back to the way it was with little (so I understand, could be wrong) to no permanent effects.

Does any other andro feel the same way for this quandary? What IS the body that you desire? What have you considered doing to obtain it? Are you willing to experiment and take hormones before deciding either "Yes, I want this" or "No, I just don't feel comfortable with where this is going."?

I personally am going for electrolysis for the face. I haven't 'come out' to my parents yet and i can cover this one by saying 'I just never want to shave again'. Eventually it will come to a head but I'll cross that bridge when i come to it.

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Guest April63

I think I understand what you're trying to say. I think I'm the same way. I don't want to go through with a transition, but I would like to be more feminine. But if I don't transition, then I want to keep some more masculine traits. So that cancels out the feminine ones. Dohh. Doesn't really work that way. So I don't really know. There isn't too much of a middle. Our society doesn't like that, and our bodies weren't made for that either.

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Guest Elizabeth K

What April says is correct. It is unfortunate that androgyne people have to depend upon non-hormone treatment to get where they feel comfortable.

Consider this - mind+body. You cannot separate these when on estrogen or testosterone replacement therapy. BOTH work to change you into the opposite body secondary sexual characteristics AND the mindset - and it is not possible to have only the body change.

PLUS - remember, if HRT is suddenly stopped, SOME things regress, but others do not. Say an Androgyne person wants some breast development but discovers the mental cahnges are overwhelmingly wrong (which will usually happen) Stopping HRT will cause some reversal in body and mind BUT - usually - if over 6 months, the sterility and loss of sexual drive will remain permanent. So the end result is a small breast development (full takes up to six years, though the main develpment takes two years). BUT the libido is permanently ruined. NOT GOOD.

There are a hundred other tradeoffs that don't work well, mainly because the desired effects take a long time to develope, while effects NOT desired by an Androgyne person usually kick in early. NO middle ground.

So HRT is a bad idea for crossdressers, autogynopheliacs and androgyne people - anyone who wants to remain male brained while gaining a feminine body.

So the possibilities are surgery and/or simple physical modifications such as growing out of the hair (if coming from natal male) to cutting the hair shorter (if coming from a natal female) - or timing eyebrows or letting them grow bushier - that kind of effort.

Like I said in another TOPIC of similar interest, take the strongest non-alterable features of your natal sex (tallness in males for example) and counter-balance it with opposite gender cues.

My suggestion, but as I an WANTING the entire package provided by HRT (to be completely feminized mind+body) - and I wanted to get through the androgynous stage as quickly as possible, I probably have a slanted viewpoint.

Elizabeth Anne

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So HRT is a bad idea for crossdressers, autogynopheliacs and androgyne people...

I have read literature which has discussed eposodic use of hormones as being theraputic in crossdressers and transvestites. I guess these days such people would lump themselves under the transgendered heading. In any case I wouldn't see why such couldn't be extended to those who identify themselves as andro.

Hormones is far from an all or nothing proposition just like transition is not an all or nothing.

It would be a discussion to ask therapist about and hormone doctor to find what your individual desires would be, if a temporary use may achieve, what the risks or undesireable effects might be and to form a treatment plan.

For the most part cross gender hormones use will not tend to make one look more gender neutral by softening the secondary characteristics of ones birth gender. Instead hormones tend to add strong secondary gender traits of the other gender. Thus genetic males will get breast growth, genetic females will develop facial hair, changes in voice. This can cause strong competing secondary gender traits. This may in fact be desireably by many. It makes it harder to identify gender.

When one is transitioning, it usually requires other actions such as clothing selection, binding, electro or surgery to hide the strong traits of ones genetic gender heritage.

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Guest Jo-I-Dunno

Consider this - mind+body. You cannot separate these when on estrogen or testosterone replacement therapy. BOTH work to change you into the opposite body secondary sexual characteristics AND the mindset - and it is not possible to have only the body change.

...

So HRT is a bad idea for crossdressers, autogynopheliacs and androgyne people - anyone who wants to remain male brained while gaining a feminine body.

I don't think that's true at all. Certainly, the physiology of the brain changes, but no one really knows how brains work yet. It's like diet. Dietary guidelines always change. Our understanding of the human brain is always changing, mostly because we don't know much yet anyway!

Personally, I think the "mindset" changes come from transitioning or gearing up to transition. I'm 4.5 months into HRT and still feel like, in my head, exactly who I've always been. My sexual interests and emotional sensitivity have changed slightly, but that happens with time to everyone, HRT or not.

I'm pretty fortunate. When I look inside myself, in my heart, there's nothing screaming I'm a boy or girl. For me, HRT is like... exercise or plastic surgery. People do all kinds of things to their bodies because they have an ideal self-image in mind and want to pursue it. I'm not becoming a girl on the outside because I'm a girl on the inside. I'm becoming a girl on the outside because... that's what I just want to look like. It's my ideal self-image. Just as people want to look skinny, muscular, large-breasted, whatever.

For the most part cross gender hormones use will not tend to make one look more gender neutral by softening the secondary characteristics of ones birth gender. Instead hormones tend to add strong secondary gender traits of the other gender. Thus genetic males will get breast growth, genetic females will develop facial hair, changes in voice. This can cause strong competing secondary gender traits. This may in fact be desireably by many. It makes it harder to identify gender.

When one is transitioning, it usually requires other actions such as clothing selection, binding, electro or surgery to hide the strong traits of ones genetic gender heritage.

Look at me. My breasts are growing but I still have hairy legs and a flat butt. If I wanted to look androgynous, this wouldn't be the path at all. I'm sure some people want to mix it up like this, but I think most people who want to look in-between want to do so by reducing what they got, not leaving what they got and adding more.

For someone who wants to look androgynous, I think the best options are surgery, exercise, fashion, and for genetic males, probably some makeup.

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"If female, you want some more muscle and a leaner body shape but not necessarily facial hair and your voice breaking."

I do want my voice to break... if by that you mean get lower... to be in a more androgynous range... really, that and top surgery would pretty much get me where I want. So... not good to assume. I know quite a few androgynes that want the voice through T. And my shape is already lean enough... as far as fat distribution goes... not much hips. That's... not a big deal to me. I'd just be afraid I'd start growing facial hair before my voice drops, because I don't think you can really see the facial hair coming... until it's too late?

But yeah, I have considered going on hormones, then off, but there are the permanent effects, and the not so permanent effects. Just gotta research... go for what you want... hormones are definitely not out of the question, whether for permanent or temporary usage.

And I saw something about libido... some people don't care about that. Like asexuals. Actually, I a bit worried about the opposite, as T can raise libido.

Oh, and I'm worried about the acne. I already have acne on my back and body... I worry about what actually taking T would do to me.

But really, there are enough resources, androgyne ftm or mtf or intersex or whatever, as long as we are all informed, I say go for the hormones. I know at least for females if you stop taking T, the estrogen will just start up again, no biggie.

And of course, always take the hormones legally with doctor supervision... that helps... it's not like I would dare just... I dunno, buy it off the streets or whatever.

Though I do hope to find a therapist/doctor open minded enough that wouldn't mind me just getting top surgery, or taking lower does of T, etc. etc.

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Guest Hydraxide

Look at me. My breasts are growing but I still have hairy legs and a flat butt. If I wanted to look androgynous, this wouldn't be the path at all. I'm sure some people want to mix it up like this, but I think most people who want to look in-between want to do so by reducing what they got, not leaving what they got and adding more.

For someone who wants to look androgynous, I think the best options are surgery, exercise, fashion, and for genetic males, probably some makeup.

I'm curious Jo, how far do you plan to go? The whole hog?

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  • 1 month later...
Guest Jo-I-Dunno

I'm curious Jo, how far do you plan to go? The whole hog?

Sorry I've been gone so long. Busy.

Uhhhh, I don't really know for sure. I know the direction I want to go but not my final destination. My desires change on an hourly basis. I'm pretty sure I'm going to be on a full course of hormones the rest of my life, and I'm not going to consider any surgeries until I know how far hormones alone ultimately take me. But full HRT doesn't mean full transition in my opinion. Unless my breasts get huge or I get a great hourglass figure, I think I'll always be some kind of male, at least part time if not most of the time. In my case, it's more about how I feel than how I want others to see me.

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Guest shiinee

Personally I don't aim for "the in between" so much as an absence of physical sex markers.  I don't want breasts, wide hips, large muscles, facial hair, or prominent genitals.  Same basic body type as a pre-pubescent child, just more mature.  Since I am FAAB that means blocking or diminishing the estrogen my body produces.  I'm looking into high dose progesterone birth control to down regulate estrogen, but I haven't been able to get any treatment yet because of my depression.  Using T seems like it would be a bad plan for me, because it will give me even more sex markers that I would rather lose.  I'm willing to experiment with other things that don't have permanent effects.  Anything that permanently adds sex characteristics is a very last resort.

For the male andro, taking AAs without replacement sex hormones is not very wise in the long run as it can cause skeletal weakness and other knock-on effects.

That's effectively what I want for myself.  My ideal state would have low or no sex hormones.  I realize it's "not very wise" but none the less it is what I want.  I can't let my dreams be crushed without trying by a side effect, even one that puts me in danger of sickness/death.  I favor quality of life over quantity.

HRT is a bad idea for crossdressers, autogynopheliacs and androgyne people - anyone who wants to remain male brained while gaining a feminine body.

My mind is neither male nor female and my body should be the same.  It may be that I shouldn't be using the word androgyne then and should stick with my favorite "neutrois".  I'm mostly posting in this forum because it's active and I feel similar to some of the posters here.  Still, I don't think that all here relate to cross dressers or want a sexual kind of satisfaction.  

For someone who wants to look androgynous, I think the best options are surgery, exercise, fashion, and for genetic males, probably some makeup
.

Not to pick on you but this bothers me a little.  I don't want to look androgynous, I want to BE androgynous inside and out.  I'm willing to consider surgery for that, but I'm not going to cut my hair short or change the way I dress just to reach something that appears closer to the middle.  Other people can interpret me as they like, I just want to be happy in my own skin.

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Guest Elizabeth K

Twenty two months on HRT. I am NOT male anymore. I am certainly not androgynous. I cannot PASS as male anymore. It seems to me there is a certain urban legend a person CAN get on hormones and achieve certain results and not others.

I know HRT causes you to transition fully. You may stop along the way - but you are not getting the full results, neither the ones you may desire nor the ones you do not want. You have simply compromised.

I still say - HRT is for MTF transsexual transition and does not do, cannot do, what crossdressers and androgyne think it does: give breasts and a more female shape without changing the libido and mindset. I cannot comment on T because I am not doing that regimine

Personal experience... say what you will.

That is all I have to say on this matter (Forrest Gump).

Lizzy

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Guest April63

There really is no in between, or even genderless transition. Hormones push toward the two opposite extremes.Hormones don't make compromises either. Stopping in the middle of HRT probably isn't very safe, and your internal chemistry will be all messed up if you do it. Your best option would be to work with your appearance and mannerisms to appear gender neutral. You can easily change those, while your body isn't quite so easy.

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  • 1 month later...

I am biologically female, and plan to take a low dose of hormones for a while. I do want my voice to get somewhat deeper, and other changes, I just don't want to stay on T so long that I'll look completely male and will never be taken as female. Just kind of in between. I have heard stories of people who have accomplished this successfully. Low dose makes the changes come slower, so when I am satisfied I will stop.

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Guest stranger

I'm not sure there's any way to get my body to look the way I'd like to...and ultimately I don't feel a really strong urge to roll the dice on hormones-at most I might see what, if anything at all, DHEA does to my bio-female body. And probably not much-it's not a very powerful androgen.

Other than that, I just intend to keep on with the getting in better shape, and maybe invest in some high impact sports bras.

Being androgyne seems to be more about the way I think of myself, the way I present to others...and I want to get accepted as what I feel myself to be inside.

(I got pegged as female at the hardware store today, while wearing my ballcap and hoping to I.D. as male. Not sure if it's because I have a really female-looking face and body...or they just get a lot of really butch lesbians browsing the hardware store. Could be both?)

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  • 2 weeks later...
I'm pretty fortunate. When I look inside myself, in my heart, there's nothing screaming I'm a boy or girl. For me, HRT is like... exercise or plastic surgery. People do all kinds of things to their bodies because they have an ideal self-image in mind and want to pursue it. I'm not becoming a girl on the outside because I'm a girl on the inside. I'm becoming a girl on the outside because... that's what I just want to look like. It's my ideal self-image. Just as people want to look skinny, muscular, large-breasted, whatever.

This is very interesting to me because it is kind of how I've been thinking for a while. My big gripe is that I'm not sure that being a girl is my ideal self image or if it is the one I should be pursuing. I know I'm going to need therapy to figure that out but I'm thinking that even with that I might have to try androgyny first. I'm not sure overall, I know I want some of the feminizing effects of hormones but I'm not sure about some of the other effects. The bigger issue is I'm not sure if I socially want to be recognized and conform to the expectations of being female. Hmmm... I guess if I could have a feminized body and still behave the way I always have then I'd be happy.

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Twenty two months on HRT. I am NOT male anymore. I am certainly not androgynous. I cannot PASS as male anymore. It seems to me there is a certain urban legend a person CAN get on hormones and achieve certain results and not others.

I know HRT causes you to transition fully. You may stop along the way - but you are not getting the full results, neither the ones you may desire nor the ones you do not want. You have simply compromised.

I still say - HRT is for MTF transsexual transition and does not do, cannot do, what crossdressers and androgyne think it does: give breasts and a more female shape without changing the libido and mindset. I cannot comment on T because I am not doing that regimine

Personal experience... say what you will.

That is all I have to say on this matter (Forrest Gump).

Lizzy

I had this discussion quite recently with someone, and I agree totally, Lizzy.

Some utterly bizarre ideas doing the rounds out there! :unsure:

Patsy

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Guest Donna Jean

.

I still feel that this start/stopping of HRT is what I I would consider "experimenting"

But, I also say.... that a consenting adult should be allowed to do what ever they want within the law, though...

I'm MTF and I'm going all they way...that's what I expect to happen...I've signed the releases and I know what I'm in for...

Donna Jean

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Guest KimberlyF

I don't get a lot of this but that doesn't matter. If you get a doctor to give you HRT I don't care what you're goals are. I believe there are physical changes to the senses, but I don't but into the whole brain becoming female and that causing a conflict. I could see the feminizing effects doing that. But 40 plus years of T didn't turn my brain male. The physical changes from the T were pretty stressful to my system.

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I still say - HRT is for MTF transsexual transition and does not do, cannot do, what crossdressers and androgyne think it does: give breasts and a more female shape without changing the libido and mindset.

While there is truth in this, it has been kind of bugging me. Hormones might not be able to produce physical changes without effecting the mind but I really don't think that means the only use for them should be MTF transsexual transition. As an autogynophilic kind of cross-dresser I think I might benefit from hormone usage, not 100% as a lot of transsexuals seem to be but I think it needs to be an avenue that everyone can pursue if they understand the risk. Though I know that there will be mental effects and an effect on libido I do not think it is a given that a person who is fairly sexual before HRT will end up with completely no libido. I know plenty of natal females that have a sex-drive that makes me look like a saint so I see no reason why someone going through HRT or who has gone through HRT could not have the same thing.

I'm in full agreement with Donna Jean that starting/stopping hormones is a form of experimenting and that is something some people may need to do. I also agree with Kimberly that if T can't make a MTF brain male during their life then there it is not an absolute truth that estrogen will do the reverse.

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Yeah, perhaps it is an experiment. Because how many people do you talk to who are transgernder, desire hormones, and don't wish to "fully" transition? IE how many transgender people are not transexuals and are not "no ho/no op"? It's real easy to say "this is what transexuals do, it's not for anyone else." But is that really fair? Gender queer, gender fluid, neutrois and androgynes are still transgender, even if we're different from what seems to me as the majority of trans people.

Hormones are different than getting a piercing or trying to lose weight, the effects are more significant and permanent. But I'm in agreement with DJ, an adult who's well informed can make their own decisions on what to do with their own body. To say hormones is just for a "transitioning mtf/ftm" seems unfair to me. Like kay, so androgynes aren't transexuals, so what? We don't transition? We're not dysphoric? We should settle for our bodies as is? Not cool. Jus' cuz it's a new idea, or isn't common, doesn't mean it's weird or should be shunned. Give it time and new levels of "transition" with hormones may be found. And if not, if people try it and like their results, what's it to anyone else?

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Hormones are different than getting a piercing or trying to lose weight, the effects are more significant and permanent. But I'm in agreement with DJ, an adult who's well informed can make their own decisions on what to do with their own body. To say hormones is just for a "transitioning mtf/ftm" seems unfair to me. Like kay, so androgynes aren't transexuals, so what? We don't transition? We're not dysphoric? We should settle for our bodies as is? Not cool. Jus' cuz it's a new idea, or isn't common, doesn't mean it's weird or should be shunned. Give it time and new levels of "transition" with hormones may be found. And if not, if people try it and like their results, what's it to anyone else?

Good points all, Micha, and it certainly wasn't my intention to suggest, or appear to be suggesting, that Estrogen is the exclusive domain of we MTF's.

In the instance I was referring to in reply to Lizzy,iIt was quite clear to me that the person concerned was completely oblivious to the physical effects,

let alone the effect on libido, etc.

HRT is a specific medical regimen to address a specific problem....not a lifestyle accessory.

Luv,

Patsy

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Good points all, Micha, and it certainly wasn't my intention to suggest, or appear to be suggesting, that Estrogen is the exclusive domain of we MTF's.

In the instance I was referring to in reply to Lizzy,iIt was quite clear to me that the person concerned was completely oblivious to the physical effects,

let alone the effect on libido, etc.

HRT is a specific medical regimen to address a specific problem....not a lifestyle accessory.

Luv,

Patsy

Wasn't responding specifically to you, just the idea that HRT is only for transexuals. Participants in this thread are hardly ignorant, and with everything I've read in this topic, it just rubbed my nerves wrong that someone would say it. 20+ months HRT for a transwoman who is "going all the way" is a lot of experience, but not the only experience; and I will not accept that someone who hated the androgynous phase of their transition is really one to tell androgynes who are not ignorant what they can and can not do. I mean, I respect the intention, no one wants anyone to get hurt. But it bugs me. Anyone else with questions gets "it's best to talk to a therapist." In this thread, it's a loud, resounding "NO!"

I give, there are mixed responses, but none so direct. I mean, here, the responses in this thread already acknowledge the risks, the cons, the reasons to proceed with caution or not to proceed at all. But to be told:

HRT is for MTF transsexual transition and does not do, cannot do, what crossdressers and androgyne think it does:

That upset me.

Hell.

I know HRT causes you to transition fully. You may stop along the way - but you are not getting the full results, neither the ones you may desire nor the ones you do not want. You have simply compromised.

You would have compromised. You're not genderqueer. You're a woman. What you call compromise someone else may call ideal. Your goals are clearly defined, you know what you want. Good for you. Not everyone can say the same. There are people who are trying and doing what you call compromise. Seems to be working for them. Is that bad? Is that a problem? If they're happy and healthy, what's the issue?

I guess what I'm really reacting to though is a vibe, how much transgender seems to be taken as transexual. That's not all of it, transexuals aren't the only one's who are transgender (and I know, no one literally said they were, like I said, it's a vibe, a feeling from a whole of collected experience). No one's fault, but yeah, all it took was one comment to unearth that negativity in me.

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Guest KimberlyF

I guess what I'm really reacting to though is a vibe, how much transgender seems to be taken as transexual. That's not all of it, transexuals aren't the only one's who are transgender (and I know, no one literally said they were, like I said, it's a vibe, a feeling from a whole of collected experience). No one's fault, but yeah, all it took was one comment to unearth that negativity in me.

I totally get what you're saying. It has to be hard. This site was started by a TS and most of the people here seem to be TS which is really not the norm. I have been on a few boards over the decades where the VAST majority were crossdressers and there were a couple of transsexuals and it was hard to feel like we mattered. We had a lot in common and yet in ways we were so different.

Kim

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Guest Elizabeth K

"Though I know that there will be mental effects and an effect on libido I do not think it is a given that a person who is fairly sexual before HRT will end up with completely no libido. I know plenty of natal females that have a sex-drive that makes me look like a saint so I see no reason why someone going through HRT or who has gone through HRT could not have the same thing."

Addressing HRT (not adding T, which is different)

I think there is a misunderstanding here, which kinda causes what looks like a difference of opinion, when there is really none.

I wrote:

I still say - HRT is for MTF transsexual transition and does not do, cannot do, what crossdressers and androgyne think it does: give breasts and a more female shape without changing the libido and mindset.

Now what is meant is what so many crossdressers and androgyne have written to me, that they wish to use the HRT regimen to be more FEMININE. They then go on to mention such things as breasts and female body shape and face. I always reply HRT does not make you FEMININE - it makes you FEMALE. I am saying HRT is not just a physical change mechanism, it is all inclusive.

Males operate on testosterone as the dominate sexual hormone, women operate on estrogen. Both have trace amounts of the other. Various people sometimes have an imbalance or a genetic predisposition one way or the other, or no balance at all. Body types sometimes even react differently.

So we are all over the place naturally with hormones, but tend toward a standard, being male or being female in appearance PRIMARILY based on testosterone or estrogen - all that.

BUT

HRT as a tool for treatment of gender dysphoria is a reversal of what is naturally occuring. HRT is NOT for adding estrogen, it is adding estrogen and retarding testosterone with testosterone blockers. So all HRT is basically doing is changing a 'male' chemistry into a 'female' chemistry. What does that do? It makes you FEMALE.

So can you just go halfway?

Can you just go far enough to get what you want without going all the way? No. If you stop HRT your testosterone kicks back in and you get a reversal... mostly. But read the research on stopping HRT. Breast material shrinks some but tends to stay obvious (what is wanted, some say) but, your sterility as a male is usually permanent. And you may not get the old male libido back. And your mind changes, does this reverse? Not enough research to know.

AND

How do you know how to balance a 'partial' HRT regime? How do you know sterility and mind changes won't come way early in the useage - WAY before you get the body change benefits you want?

It took two years for my breasts to develop. It took two months before my moods completely changed. I lost my male libido in the first two months. If I had only wanted the breast development on HRT, I would have been disappointed.

And I say your libido CHANGES - not that it goes away. You are changed into having a woman's chemistry - eventually giving you a female libido. THAT hapened to me. I have NO male function - and yet men suddenly seen very interesting! When did that happen- about a year and a half after starting.

So that is what I meant.

I really don't think HRT is for non-transitioning people.

Sorry, and not for some snobby reason. I strongly feel transpeople, intersexed, androgyne, CDers - read my posts - are all very valid to the community. I just don't think HRT does what an androgyne person or crossdresser desires.

Lizzy

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And I say your libido CHANGES - not that it goes away. You are changed into having a woman's chemistry - eventually giving you a female libido. THAT hapened to me. I have NO male function - and yet men suddenly seen very interesting! When did that happen- about a year and a half after starting.

Ah! So I was right, well kind of. I've got to say that lately I've been thinking that a female libido would be awesome! From what I've read and seen it seems much more developed, almost wholesome compared to a male one. I'm not even sure how much of a male one I've had to begin with. But that is something I could write a book like post about.

I think there might have been some slight miss-communication as you suggested as what really kind of bugged me wasn't your view itself but how frankly it was said I guess. I still do disagree with you on some things.

Even knowing that the function of HRT is to chemically, and physically feminize the body I still think it needs to be open as an option for everyone. I am well aware that the risk and potential harm it could cause are heightened for individuals who are not transsexual and do not 100% know that it is right for them but I still believe the option needs to be open to everyone. I don't think going to a GT and saying something like, "I'm androgynous" or "I'm a cross-dresser" or "I'm mentally androgynous but would like a female body" or anything else for that matter should dis-qualify an individual from getting HRT in anyway. What should is the actual content of therapy and if it turns out they figure out that HRT is not for them.

And as Micha said, if someone finds a stopping point they want that is medically safe and feasible I don't see why (bearing the potential for injury) they can't stay there. It'll probably be a challenge to not fully transition from a biological standpoint but the real judge of that are people with MD's.

Now I do respect your opinion and understand that it comes from much more experience and time in the community than I have had. But I strongly feel that HRT needs to be open to everyone, provided they understand the risk. Might my view cause some people hurt if embraced by the medical community? Sure it will but at the same time it'll give some people that last push they need to make it to self actualization and that is really what the whole journey wherever it ends is about.

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  • Posts

    • Heather Shay
    • April Marie
      Loving this woman I am becoming.
    • April Marie
      Good morning, everyone!! I was up early again - already on my third cup of coffee having walked/fed the dog and read the local paper.   We have a birthday party for a friend to go to this afternoon but no real plans otherwise.   I hope to be able to attend tonight's TGP Zoom session. It's been weeks since I've been able to participate with the illness/loss of our dog, two horrible colds in succession and our trip to chase the solar eclipse.   Have a wonderful day and look for the goodness in it.
    • April Marie
      I think we tend to be overly critical of our looks, whether we're trying to express ourselves as masculine, feminine or anywhere along the gender spectrum. For me, I use photos as a way to track my progress, to help me find my style and look and to help me find ways to improve myself in posture, looks, make-up, style......   I didn't really think about our FB avatar being public but then realized that when people search they do see it.   Since I'm not out to anyone but my wife, therapist, priest and people here, my FB page remains "that guy." I have created a Bitmoji that is relatively androgynous moving slowly towards the feminine. Long gray hair, earrings, softer features...I'm transitioning it along with myself. :-)
    • April Marie
      I so very much enjoy your posts. This one, though, hit home with me for many reasons. I was commissioned in the Army in '77, as well. Like you, I was not overly masculine in the way that many of our contemporaries were. I (still do) cried at weddings, pictures of puppies and babies, when I talked about bring proud of what my units accomplished and was never the Type A leader. In the end, it worked for me and I had a successful career.   This is, of course, your story not mine so I won't detail my struggle. It just took me much longer to understand what the underlying cause of my feelings was and even more to admit it. To act on it.    Thank you for sharing your story, Sally.
    • Sally Stone
      Post 6 “The Military Career Years” In 1977 I joined the Army and went to flight school to become a helicopter pilot.  To fly for the military had been a childhood dream and when the opportunity arose, I took advantage of it, despite knowing I would have to carefully control my crossdressing activity.  At the time, military aviation was male dominated and a haven for Type A personalities and excessive testosterone.  I had always been competitive but my personality was not typically Type A.  And while I could never be considered effeminate, I wasn’t overtly masculine either.  Consequently, I had little trouble hiding the part of my personality that leaned towards the feminine side.    However, serving in the Army limited my opportunities for feminine self-expression.  During this period, I learned that being unable to express my feminine nature regularly, led to frustration and unhappiness.  I managed these feelings by crossdressing and underdressing whenever I could.  Underdressing has never been very fulfilling for me, but while I was in the Army it was a coping mechanism.  I only cross-dressed in private and occasionally my wife would take me out for a late-night drive.  Those drives were still quite private, but being out of the house was clearly therapeutic.    I told myself I was coping, but when it became apparent the Army was going to be a career, the occasional and closeted feminine expression was clearly inadequate.  I needed more girl time and I wanted to share my feminine side with the rest of the world, so the frustration and unhappiness grew.  Despite my feelings regarding feminine self-expression, I loved flying, so I wasn’t willing to give up my military career.  Consequently, I resigned myself to the fact that the female half of my personality needed to take a back seat, and what helped me through, was dreaming of military retirement, and finally having the ability to let Sally blossom.   About Sally. Ironically, she was born while I was still serving.  It was Halloween and my wife and I were hosting a unit party.  I looked upon the occasion as the perfect excuse to dress like a girl.  After a little trepidation, my wife agreed I should take advantage of the opportunity.  Back then, my transformations were not very good, but with my wife’s help, my Halloween costume looked quite authentic.  Originally, my wife suggested that my presentation should be caricature to prevent anyone from seeing through my costume.  But that didn’t appeal to me at all.  I wanted to look as feminine and ladylike as I could.   To my wife’s and my amazement, my costume was the hit of the party.  In fact, later in the evening, my unit buddies decided they wanted to take me out drinking and before either me or my wife could protest, I was whisked away and taken to one of our favorite watering holes.  Terrified at first, I had an amazing time, we all did.  But on Monday morning, when I came to work, I learned that I had a new nickname; it was Sally, and for the duration of that tour, that’s what I was called.  Well, when it came time for me to choose a feminine name, there weren’t any other choices.  Sally it was, and to this day I adore the name, and thank my pilot buddies for choosing it.   And this brings me to my last assignment before retiring.  I was teaching military science in an Army ROTC program at Mercer University in Macon, Georgia.  I had been a member of TRIESS (a nationwide crossdressing support group).  I wasn’t really an active participant but when we moved to Georgia, I learned there was a local chapter in Atlanta.  I reached out to the membership chair person, and joined.   Because the chapter meetings took place in Atlanta, a trans friendly city, and because Atlanta was so far from Macon and any of my military connections, I felt it would be safe to let my feminine hair down.  The monthly meetings took place in the Westin Hotel and Conference Center in Buckhead, an upscale northern Atlanta suburb, and the hotel itself was 4-star.  The meetings were weekend affairs with lots of great activities that allowed me to express myself in a public setting for the first time.  It was during this time, that Sally began to blossom.   I have the fondest memories of Sigma Epsilon (the name of our chapter in Atlanta).  Because the hotel was also a conference center, there was always some big event, and in many cases, there were several.  One weekend there was a nail technician conference that culminated in a contest on Saturday evening.  When the organizers learned there was a huge group of crossdressers staying at the hotel, they reached out to us looking for manicure volunteers.  I volunteered and got a beautiful set of long red fingernails that I wore for the duration of the weekend.   During another of our meeting weekends, there was a huge military wedding taking place, and imagine what we were all thinking when we learned it was a Marine wedding.  Our entire group was on edge worrying we might have to keep a low profile.  It turned out to be one of the most memorable weekends I would experience there.  First off, the Marines were all perfect gentlemen.  On Friday night and throughout the day on Saturday before the wedding, we rubbed elbows with most of them and their wives in and around the hotel, and at the hotel bar.  In fact, we got along so well the bride invited us to the reception.  Somewhere, there is a picture of me with a handsomely dressed Marine draped on each of my arms, standing in the lobby of the hotel.  Sadly, I never got a copy of it because the woman who took the picture used a film camera (yes, they actually took picture that way in ancient times).    My two-years with Sigma Epsilon was the perfect transition.  I went from being fully closeted to being mostly out.  I enhanced my feminine presentation and significantly reduced my social anxiety.  It also signified the end of one life and the beginning of another.  I had a great career and never regretted serving, but I was ready to shed the restrictions 20-years of Army service had imposed on my feminine self-expression.  My new life, Sally’s life, was about to begin, and with it I would begin to fully spread a new set of wings, this time feminine wings.    Hugs, Sally
    • Sally Stone
      Ashley, for a very long time she clung to the term crossdresser, because for her it was less threatening.  Over the years, though, she has come to recognize and acknowledge that I have a strong feminine side.  And like me, she now has a much better understanding of where my transgender journey is going, so me being bigender, isn't the threat she might have perceived it as, years ago. 
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://apnews.com/article/title-ix-sexual-assault-transgender-sports-d0fc0ab7515de02b8e4403d0481dc1e7   The revised regulations don't touch on trans athletes; which I totally understand, as that's become a third rail issue and this is an election year.  But the other changes seem pretty sensible, and will obviously result in immediate right wing lawsuits.   Carolyn Marie
    • missyjo
      darling you have wonderful taste..I especially love the red dress n sneaker outfit   enjoy   missy
    • Carolyn Marie
      Very well said, @Abigail Genevieve, and very true.  Thank you.   Carolyn Marie
    • Susan R
      Trans Group Zoom Meeting Tomorrow!!   Trans Group Zoom Meeting Times: April 20, 2024 6:00 PM Pacific Time April 20, 2024 8:00 PM Central Time April 21, 2024 11:00 AM Australia/Melbourne   Message me for the meeting link if you’d like to attend.   *Hugs* Susan R🌷
    • Susan R
      They may win a few battles but not the war! as @Davie pointed out there is little truth if it full of lies, inconsistencies, and ignores evidence to the contrary. I saw this article earlier and have to agree here. Truth will win. This isn’t the first time this tactic has been tried. Always stick with the truth!
    • Susan R
      Welcome @violet r! Glad you joined our forum and got through the hardest part…that first post. As many have mentioned, we are more than accepting here as we affirm your gender identity and hold no judgement, whatsoever. There’s so much here on this forum, I think you’ll find very helpful. If you have trouble finding an answer just reach out, try the search but starting a new thread is usually best to get some quick answers. Many are here for various transgender related issues but many, if not all, are here to help one another if we can. It’s great to have you onboard.   Warmest Regards, Susan R🌷
    • Willow
      good evening   good day at work today.  I did do some things a little out of normal but everything was completed successfully.  As I said earlier, the Asst Mgr was my second today.  I don’t think she was too happy about that.  Several customers asked her where Richard was her answer was the manager cut his hours.  Well that is only part of the story,  his hours were cut just like mine were and several others but in his case he made demands about his hours that couldn’t be met.  But instead of making some non complaining remark about it she made sure to lay it all on the manager, thus throwing the manager under the bus.  Similarly when asked why she hadn’t been at work early mornings, she said she was being punished by the manager.  Well that’s partly true, she wouldn’t do what the manager told her to do so she took her off opening.  But secondarily she didn’t have a car to drive temporarily.  You can’t open the store without a car because who ever opens has tasks that require them to leave the store, so it was  at least partly her own fault.  But she chose to throw the manager under the bus for that.  I think she is asking to be fired for insubordination.  And if the manager gets these conversations off the security tape tomorrow she just might get her wish.   im pretty close to being ready to take the asst position but there isn’t anyone ready to take over my job, at least not at our store.  I suppose the other shift lead could if she is able to work earlier shifts and if the other closers were just a bit more reliable.   Ive been wanting some homefried chicken.  We found a BBQ place not far away that had such a chicken but I is made fresh when ordered so it has a 30 minute wait.  It was worth the wait and the other things we tried were also good.  Another restaurant on the list.  At least half of what we ordered came home for another meal.   i get to sleep in tomorrow, I go to work at 1:30!   Willow
    • Abigail Genevieve
      It was nine thirty.  Saturday morning had rolled around more quickly than Taylor could believe.  She groaned, whined, thought of a million excuses why she should just stay in bed and knock the alarm across the room.  But it would still be going on, and so would the promise to Bob: when the gi came in, she would be in. There it was in its nice package, out where she could not miss it.  Why didn't she hide it?  She shook her head.   Up she got.  Sometimes you just do.  Her hair was a wreck. She patted it down and went to the bathroom.  Nine forty five. Shower later. No make up. She hated kara-tay especially at an ungodly early hour on a Saturday morning. Bagel. Instant coffee.  She was five minutes away when she realized she had forgotten the gi.  Back she went.   Into the dojo.  She had about five minutes to get the gi on.  She attempted to slip in unnoticed and go to the little restroom. Someone barked something out in Japanese or something, and there was a dead silence.  She turned to see what was going on. Both classes were getting into their lines, but everyone, including Bob, was bowing slightly. To her. Bob nodded, and she returned the bow.  Life started again. She was touched.   Bowing three times. Oath. Kata.  She was facing off with Judy as her partner.  Judy looked worried.   "Sometimes you just gotta pick yourself up and try again," Taylor told her. She nodded. "Let's do this."   Lunge punch and lower block.  They traded off like nothing had happened the last weekend.  Lunge punch and middle block. Lunge punch and upper block.  It was kind of like dancing. Taylor enjoyed it.  She wanted to learn more.  Brown-belt Maggie adjusted position of limbs and hips for both Taylor and Judy, telling them when she was about to do something: elbow up a bit".    "How'd you do?" Bob asked her later.  They had both gone home and showered. Now they were in a booth at a fast food place.   "I was kind of disappointed class ended. I was ready for more."   "That's my trooper."   "I'm not allowing you in my apartment until we are married," she said suddenly.   "You think I am a problem?"   "No.  I think you are safe. You passed the test  I am the problem here."   "Okay."   "What did the doctor tell you?"   "It's complicated.  More tests coming.  Like getting into college.  I got a letter back.  It seems there is this big fat M on my transcript and my current picture is not an M type picture.  I have to write a letter and send them notarized proofs and stuff. Just delays. This is a pain. Nothing cut and dried."   "I will say.  I'm glad I'm not transgender."   "Hah. You are pulled into my world.  You are involved in this stuff as much as I am, and, as you put it, of your own free will."   "You are worth it."   "I hope so."   "I know so."      
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