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By Fly2188 · Posted
As a relatively new parent some of your questions about how parents and childhood affect us have been interesting to watch. When we announced that we were having a boy to family. My dad immediately got excited that he could dust off his model trains. It was like he didn’t realize he could do the same if we had a girl? At only two months old I found my mother-in-law holding our son at our front window pointing to trucks going down our street. Would she have done the same if we had a girl? Maybe, but I doubt it. At 4-6 months my father-in-law was playing with a football with our son. Now he probably would have done the same with a daughter, but who knows. When shopping for clothes for out little one we look at both the boys and girls sections. A big proportion of girls clothing is pink and the vast majority has frilly/lacy/flowery accents on it. Why is there no pink in the boys section? Why does all the girls clothing have hyper-feminine accents? All that to say that gender norms start influencing us before we’re even aware of it, to some extent they influence us before we’re even born. -
By Justsam · Posted
Haha yep, I use humour to hide my anxiety as well. Yeah, maybe just having someone waiting outside for you might be all the help you need. I do remember one time when I had to go to the gyno, it was just before I started transitioning. My girlfriend came in with me and she saw how scared/embarrassed I was so while the doc was doing his thing, she flashed her boobs at me 😂 that's definitely helped to relieve the tension. You just have to do whatever is right for you at the end of the day -
By Sol · Posted
I do have one friend but I wouldn't feel comfortable with her being in the room beyond prerequisites and going over everything at the end. Hell, I'm not even comfortable with my MOTHER being in the room during any physical exams. The thought makes me cringe, but I can always just ask her to wait outside if that's what I decide is best for me in that case. I guess you could argue that I'm not very shy about my genitals, I would just prefer nobody see them. And I can kind of relate to Cambodians, @Justsam, because when I get nervous I start rambling and making jokes 😅 -
By Sol · Posted
I bought some men's exercise shorts and I actually didn't notice is had a hole in the front until over two months after I bought it 😅 Still my absolutely favorite thing to wear during periods cause it's not tight on the crotch at all. -
By Sol · Posted
My sister is one of my biggest supporters, and I strive to be that way for her too. And I think I'm succeeding, cause we get along way better than we did when we were younger (we have a bigger age difference and I was going through a lot emotionally all the time). -
By Carolyn Marie · Posted
https://www.thedailybeast.com/david-bogdanov-guilty-of-hate-crime-for-strangling-transgender-teen-nikki-kuhnhausen Carolyn Marie -
By Carolyn Marie · Posted
Wow, Samuel, I think you've covered this really well. I honestly can't think of too much you've left out. One thing you could work on is male voice. I'm not talking about pitch and tone, as those will change naturally with HRT. I'm talking more about rhythm, pace, volume, word choices and mannerisms. There is a huge difference in how men and women speak. Along with that are how one stands, alone and in relation to others, the use of arms and hands, etc. I'm sure there are many Youtube videos on it. I wish you luck! Carolyn marie -
By CD Rachel · Posted
@Bobbi-BIMy "compulsion" to write has sky rocketed. I feel like I am much more in touch with my feelings. I am writing poetry and have even written a short story. I often feel as like if I do not start writing what I am feeling that I will explode. I am also feeling much differently about reaching out to others. Before I wanted to but it was a weak desire, but the urge to go out and be seen as Rachel and wanting to be where the people are has greatly increased. I feel that I am willing to put myself out there now and meet new people and make new friends. Oh and I almost never danced before. I was very self conscious and felt like a total idiot out on the dance floor. BUT Rachel dances!! She loves to dance. Dancing is better than $3x!!! Do not stand between me and the dance floor, someone may get hurt. LOL Oh also when I write it is an emotional thing. I can only seem to write when I have tears pouring down my cheeks. I look up from my tear soaked keyboard and something beautiful has appeared on the page. Something that has been purchased with my pain. ~Rachel -
By Carolyn Marie · Posted
People often talk about us being brave. I think the word is overused, but when it comes to "getting out of our comfort zone," as you put it, Colleen, it really does take a bit of courage. It's especially apt in the early stages of transition, when we don't look our best yet, or our voices aren't just right, or we're just nervous. What you said rings very true, and should give others here some courage of their own, that people are generally more kind and tolerant than we thought they would be. I felt those doubts and fears too, but it didn't take long to learn to relax and enjoy the journey. Thanks for contributing your thoughts. They will help others. Carolyn Marie -
By CD Rachel · Posted
@Heather Nicole I am glad you went and enjoyed it. The more you venture forth as Heather the more confident you will get. ~Rachel -
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By Hannah Renee · Posted
If I may, on the humorous and embarrassing side, I was in court the other day for my name change. Nervous as all get out. The judge - looked absolutely nothing like a woman - asked me if I was representing myself. I started to answer him, "Yes, ma'am, I'm sorry, yes sir.) I guess I don't talk to male persons much anymore. Pretty much an automatic response. -
By Hannah Renee · Posted
Well, let's compare her to ol' whats-iz-name, who never really liked "himself" all that much. "He" would look in the mirror and wonder who that person was. "He" was generally unhappy and rarely fsaw any reason to smile.and would rarely smile, even on the inside. Hannah is thrilled and proud of the woman she sees in the mirror, much happier, more prone to smiling (pictures posted here notwithstanding - dental issues). She is more emotional and empathetic, more likely to "feel" others' emotional pain. She no longer worries about what other people think when they see her (ok, maybe 3%), because now she knows how to be herself. -
By Heather Nicole · Posted
It went well. Felt better once it got started. Cute little play 😀 -
By awkward-yet-sweet · Posted
One random thought.... you may not be "somebody you aren't" in either situation. You may not be lying, but simply showing different aspects of yourself. A jewel has facets, after all, to be beautiful and reflect the light around it. Likewise, in Hebrew, the word for "face" (panim) is only plural. All of us have multiple faces or facets of who we are. We don't show it all to everybody at the same time, just a bit at a time so we don't overwhelm others. I don't think that's dishonest at all.
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