Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Letter To Therisa


Guest Elizabeth K

Recommended Posts

Guest Elizabeth K

Therisa and I were talking in PM. She said she felt restless in the churches she has been to, and was talking about the cosmic joke of 'transsexually.

I wrote back:

Christianity is a tool some people use Some use it correctly, most don't. To think we are just electrical energy in an animal brain, something that will burn out and disappear, is too horrifying to face without the hope that we are thinking wrong about that possibility. Christianity was built on a promise we are going to live after death. BUT it ALSO is supposed to teach us to love one another.

That's where Christianity fails most people - the 'love one another' part . It has preachers and priests. They study and tell us about God's will. Strangely god turned out to be 'male' just like them.

So personally, I balance with the female aspect of the Creator - the Goddess. I am a Catholic Wiccan. But even that is a tool. The Creator is actually unknowable - but...

The Creator is there.

Why we were made the way we are? Like the terror we feel about death, we feel a terror that we are trans like we are, for no real reason. It scares the hell outta us that we suffer needlessly. So we are counstantly asking why, and waiting for answers from an invented God - a male God that talks through preachers and priests... what is wrong with that picture!!!

Therisa - you are a smart cookie - and we trans have extra senses. Of course you feel those restless spirits in the churches, energy thwarted by false 'Christianity. Lost souls tormented by dogma.

We are innocent. You and I are born transsexual - nothing we asked for, I guarantee!

BUT the joke? When you touch the face of the CREATOR - it will all be explained. We ARE immortal souls - the Creator is NOT playing games. Sometimes I think we were chosen to be like we are because of our resiliency through many past lives. We are working 'through' something.

So Therisa? Lets get it right this time so we won't have to repeat it! GRIN

Girl? Get sane - best you can - and let's go shopping together sometime and talk about how unfair life is!

I love you and your spirit. Souls like us are so rare...

Lizzy

Link to comment
Guest sarah f

If this is planned because we were resilient in a past life then so be it. I will just try my best to live my life as God planned for me. That is all I can do because I didn't wish this for myself. If I could have had a wish then I would have been a girl the whole time.

Link to comment
Guest Elizabeth K

Yes - we all wish it would have been what we feel it should have been. I don't know why we were set up like this. It just doesn't seem right, but it has to be, I suppose.

lizzy

Link to comment
  • 3 weeks later...

What if there is not an after life, only immortality of the things you do when you are alive? Would you still believe? What is wrong with having morals, ethics and virtue, and not being rewarded later?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

There is nothing wrong with having morals or ethics for any reason. Because it makes an individual's life better and makes society and civilization possible ...whatever.

I believe in a Supreme Being and in reincarnation because I've always known and sensed them. Even as a very small child I argued with the teachers in the conservative denomination I was raised in that God was not some vengeful figure that was going to burn everyone in Hell who wasn't baptized in our church. I knew better, knew God wasn't like that.

I've remembered past lives since around 4 or 5. Which made life even more difficult for me because I very soon learned my memories weren't acceptable in my church and family. In the 1950s in small towns people didn't talk about things like that so I felt completely alone. I knew the memories were real.

I can't explain it and don't ask anyone else to accept my beliefs. But I know my memories and feelings are lifelong and real.

Hugs

John

Link to comment
Guest Elizabeth K

Well in a way we cease to exist - I think - when our body dies.

We spend our first years learning muscle coordination and mental skills - our brain has to grow large enough to be usable. And we mature into adulthood (if all goes right).. So that goes when the body goes.

Also, we tend to develop an 'operating' personallity so we can function in the body, the gender and racial characteristics, and the time and place of our incarnation. THAT goes when the body goes.

So a good part of what we are in this life does not continue - not in the same way...

BUT - what if our deeds are eternal, our successes and our failures, our good ways and... our bad ways... all that is part of what we are, and is part of our soul after death of the body? It seems to give a purpose to this incarnation.

So are we repeating lifetimes? Some probably are. It may be an option... many do make a decision to come back here, and some go somewhere else, some may even just quit.

If that is the case, repeating lifetimes I mean, many of us are buiding on top if past lives - many on lives based upon a worldly incarnation. Some of us must like it here or we would go somewhere else.

OR

We haven't gotten it right yet - GRIN.

Just some thoughts on a Sunday morning - AMEN!

Lizzy

Link to comment

Well in a way we cease to exist - I think - when our body dies.

We spend our first years learning muscle coordination and mental skills - our brain has to grow large enough to be usable. And we mature into adulthood (if all goes right).. So that goes when the body goes.

Also, we tend to develop an 'operating' personallity so we can function in the body, the gender and racial characteristics, and the time and place of our incarnation. THAT goes when the body goes.

So a good part of what we are in this life does not continue - not in the same way...

BUT - what if our deeds are eternal, our successes and our failures, our good ways and... our bad ways... all that is part of what we are, and is part of our soul after death of the body? It seems to give a purpose to this incarnation.

So are we repeating lifetimes? Some probably are. It may be an option... many do make a decision to come back here, and some go somewhere else, some may even just quit.

If that is the case, repeating lifetimes I mean, many of us are buiding on top if past lives - many on lives based upon a worldly incarnation. Some of us must like it here or we would go somewhere else.

OR

We haven't gotten it right yet - GRIN.

Just some thoughts on a Sunday morning - AMEN!

Lizzy

In considering ways to be open in society, I was looking at the Unitarian Universalist website http://www.uua.org/visitors/justicediversity/6252.shtml If I wanted to practice a Christian faith this is where I would go. Who know, I might try it. The idea of broad acceptace by a large group is atractive.

Link to comment
BUT - what if our deeds are eternal, our successes and our failures, our good ways and... our bad ways... all that is part of what we are, and is part of our soul after death of the body?

Ever hear of the butterfly effect? Everything you do effects the future. If you could come back you could set the stage earlier for your comeback. "not likely" "The Immortal" series.

Epicurus said if there is Gods they are too busy to bother with human life. At 6.7 billion today more than ever in history on earth we would have to explain the difference between new souls and old ones.

Then there is "Cosmos may show echoes of events before Big Bang"

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-11837869

Link to comment
Guest April63

Religion is a tricky topic, because there is so much to it. So where to start...

There is nothing wrong with organized religion. In fact, it is good to be organized. Organization is needed as a community grows to maintain order. Think about the next life, it must be organized. All the billions of people to ever walk the earth, together in one place? There must be order and organization. A government essentially.

The problem with some of today's organized religion is the same problem with today's governments. People try to do what they simply cannot do. We are not gods and cannot pretend to be when we are at the head of an organization. So when leaders do that, they try to make decisions with their flawed perspectives, thoughts, ideas, and desires. Eventually this leads to some bigger problems with the organization. This is what has happened with so many religions. The doctrine of love has gone second place, because various leaders have put their understanding of other doctrines first.

I don't think religion is just a tool. Religion is reality. It explains who we are, where we came from, why we are here, and where we are going. Over time religion has changed, and now we have countless "different" religions and interpretations. But they all come from the same source and original set of beliefs. My God is your God. Even if they seem different, even if we have different beliefs, ultimately, my God, my Creator, is also yours.

It takes time to know the Creator, but it is possible. I think a lot of people have dismissed this option for the fast-paced thrills of life. But that's what we really need to do. That's what organized religions need to do, if they haven't already. After we do that, we'll know the truth of all things. The reason for why we are what we are, the things we need to accomplish, the reason for why we are given challenges, will all be revealed to us.

Link to comment
we'll know the truth of all things.

History tells us we will never know all truths. For every new truth there are 10 more questions. Philosophy seems to have better evidence to back up explanations of reflective questions. Dogma falls short of harmony with the universe.

Link to comment
Guest April63

History tells us we will never know all truths. For every new truth there are 10 more questions. Philosophy seems to have better evidence to back up explanations of reflective questions. Dogma falls short of harmony with the universe.

When have you read a history book by a perfect, all-knowing being? The history that we have is the history of a flawed, imperfect people. So obviously we will not find all truths in it. We have to look to a more perfect record or a perfect being for such answers.

Link to comment

When have you read a history book by a perfect, all-knowing being? The history that we have is the history of a flawed, imperfect people. So obviously we will not find all truths in it. We have to look to a more perfect record or a perfect being for such answers.

You do not throw the baby out with the bath water. Perhaps flaws, evil, mistakes etc. are all part of the perfect harmony. Seems to all work together now. The unknown is how those things fit into our perfect world not that are world is not perfect.

Link to comment
Guest therisa

Problem with history, it's reflective of the writer's bias, whether for the good or bad. As one of my old university profs said, "history is written by the victors". Just my two cents on Lisa and April's discussion.

therisa

Link to comment
Guest April63

Problem with history, it's reflective of the writer's bias, whether for the good or bad. As one of my old university profs said, "history is written by the victors". Just my two cents on Lisa and April's discussion.

therisa

Yeah, history is biased with our imperfections. So while studying history is good and we can learn many things, for ultimate truth we have to look to a perfect source.

Link to comment
Yeah, history is biased with our imperfections. So while studying history is good and we can learn many things, for ultimate truth we have to look to a perfect source.

The difference between history and science is humans. Science can tell us the physical things that happen but history can tell us why humans made them happen. Perhaps the perspective comes from different places, we should take them all in for a 3D picture. What might seem evil to one is success to another. Losers if still alive do write history but getting known is the hard part. If you look at the church, the only source of knowledge through the dark ages, you will see much altering of history.

Link to comment
Guest ChloëC

I'm not sure about this history-human, science-fact concept. At the macro level in science, sure we can measure things and for all intents and purposes, the measurement is valid, but at the micro, we've found that by measuring something, we're actually affecting it, so the measurement isn't quite valid. Yet it's the best we've got.

Regarding history, written history to me anyway, doesn't tell us so much the why, but it does give on occasion insights into the why. Lots of things people do, they really don't want known and will not tell, or if pressed will give an alternative reason. It's just the way we are.

Putting human intervention/measurement/history with religion brings up some really interesting issues. Take one of the major historical councils on Christianity - The Council of Nicea. Lots of practices and trends and accepted beliefs came out of that. Written history suggests these were learned Men, thinking deep Thoughts, communing with God. Um, or maybe they were conventioneers, in a new city for a good time, getting together after business over drinks to make the real decisions (and who knows what else!!!!). Based on what we know of human nature, which version is probably closer to the truth, the 'written' historical one, or the one we can see examples of with our own eyes? Who really knows what went on there. Each person reading about it now can come away with his or her own thoughts, but probably none of them are what really happened. That is lost to the ages.

They tried to measure God and the measurement got affected by what they were measuring. They then tried to write it down, and the real why we now follow certain practices is lost to some 11-10 vote.

But it's what have, and we can only try to make the best of it.

Hugs

Chloë

Link to comment
Based on what we know of human nature, which version is probably closer to the truth, the 'written' historical one, or the one we can see examples of with our own eyes?

The difference is evidence. Not everything is a lie unless you watch the modern media.

Link to comment
Guest ChloëC

Hi Lisa,

I completely understand where you are coming from, and yes, we cannot trust today's media. But do you really believe that people in historical times were more honest, more upright, more caring, more understanding than today? Why? Because the history books suggest that? Imagine 200 years from now, and people of that time will say they are encountering the most distorted media ever seen, and reminisce for the late 20th/early 21st century. That's life.

You have to be very careful reading historical works because they aren't necessarily the truth or a lie, they are as the person writing saw or understood it, and that's based on their own life, their own thoughts, their own understanding.

A really good example is the 'Renaissance' which was the Italian Renaissance of the 1400's and was in reality the 4th European renaissance. The three previous were the Carolingian, the Ottonian, and the 12th century ones. The difference is that the Italians were the first to actually realize they were having a renaissance, and their marketing machine geared up and publicized it as that, they exported it, and they coined the term 'Dark Ages' to refer to anything that happened before. They weren't lying, they were just enhancing the facts. Their's was probably the most pronounced and remembered, but how much of that was because of what happened as opposed to what was marketed and written in the history books.

Remember the immortal words of the great Yogurt - It's all about moichendizing. The winner doesn't write the history books, it's his marketing and publicity team that do it.

Hugs

Chloë

Link to comment
But do you really believe that people in historical times were more honest, more upright, more caring, more understanding than today? Why?

Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, Epicurus, Plutarch, Lucretius,Cicero,Machiavelli,Augustine, St Thomas Aquinas, Montaigne, Tocqueville, Etc.

Link to comment
Guest ChloëC

Lisa,

I hope you're not expecting to compare people of the past 2400 years with people of the last 20? That would be sort of unfair.

For every Machiavelli, I can probably come up with Medici. There have certainly been a lot of infamous people over that time span. For positive role models, just off the top of my head in my lifetime I can come up with Einstein, Salk, Gandhi, but I could easily counter them with Hitler, Stalin, Tojo, or on a smaller but no less atrocious level, Idi Amin and Pol Pot.

Be careful when you look at history through a small book, and compare it to only 20 or 30 years of mundane living. It's a very slanted and unfair view.

We live in a 'time'. Not necessarily better or worse than any other time, except our life expectancy is a lot greater (which has been enhanced by a tremendous decrease in early deaths - thank people like Salk for that one.) The years have changed, but not so much the people, just a heck of a lot more of us.

Hugs

Chloë

Link to comment
Be careful when you look at history through a small book, and compare it to only 20 or 30 years of mundane living. It's a very slanted and unfair view.

There is truth and there is lies. It takes sapience to tell the difference. Much of our world is full of propaganda. ("Public Opinion" by Walter Lippman). Modern day people like Isaiah Berlin have gone through great pains to document ideas and there validity. This is a lost art in the days of TV and video. Through out history there has been differences of opinion but not much difference between good and bad. Morals, ethics and virtue are parallel in most cultures and paradigms.

Today never has been like any other time in history. In 1900 the world wide population was 1.3 billion, today it is 6.7 billion. There is simply not enough resources for everyone to live a long life. You can use science to see what happens to animals when these conditions arise. Humans are a form of animal and I doubt the results will be all that different. We see it in pockets of the world such as Rwanda or the demise of the culture of Easter Island. ( Collapse by Jared Diamond) Fighting over water has already begun (Blue Covenant by Maude Barlow) look at China destroying the Tibetan culture to secure the water from the mountains as the glaciers melt due to climate change from their industrialization. Resource shortages already effect Europe's ability to get out of the recession.

Datum is work to come by but by no means out of the ball park. We are being manipulated by the powers that be, because the showdown is not escapable. We can no longer just live for today unless you do not care to see a tomorrow.

Link to comment
  • 1 year later...

If as some have said here, that there is no life after death why are you so concernrd about it. I do believe we will live again (it better be as a girl) lol Agreat mathematition decided to proove mathematically that god exists. He failed in that endeaver, how ever he came up with this. If a non believer and a believer die and there is no god then no one looses, if on the other hand one does not believe and the other doesand there is a god then the non believer looses and the believer wins. It seems it would be smarter to believe. 1 out of three is still good odds.

Candy Kane

Link to comment
Guest Weaver
If a non believer and a believer die and there is no god then no one looses, if on the other hand one does not believe and the other doesand there is a god then the non believer looses and the believer wins. It seems it would be smarter to believe. 1 out of three is still good odds.

Pascal's wager and it's broken if the deity is omniscient. There are infinite possibilities as to what may have created this place. It may not even be a being, but an infinite onion, with layers and layers of effects that caused our existence. I don't know, no one knows, and that is best to assert for as long as you live, because that is the only truth any human can tell with honesty.

Everything is broken by the Perception/Objectivity paradox. People thought diseases were caused by demons until someone found out it was actually microscopic lifeforms. Their perception altered their reality.

When have you read a history book by a perfect, all-knowing being? The history that we have is the history of a flawed, imperfect people. So obviously we will not find all truths in it. We have to look to a more perfect record or a perfect being for such answers.

But such a being has not been met yet, only people who claim to have met it and cannot show him to us others. The holy books of all religions are filled with errors in fact and hypocrisy.

The people who wrote the bible thought the stars were pinholes in the sky, and that the light was heaven, visible in those holes. There is no perfect book, and there never will be.

Neither will there be a perfect being, because everyone has a different idea of what the word perfect means. The word perfect is meaningless, because it's relative to what the user of the word thinks.

Religion is reality. It explains who we are, where we came from, why we are here, and where we are going. Over time religion has changed, and now we have countless "different" religions and interpretations. But they all come from the same source and original set of beliefs. My God is your God. Even if they seem different, even if we have different beliefs, ultimately, my God, my Creator, is also yours.

I don't agree. I don't think that religion explains anything about who we are or where we came from. Religions say we were created from clay and from earth, when we are in fact created by elements that are released when stars go supernova. Books, beliefs, can say anything about where we're going but that doesn't make any of it true. I cannot use the bible, to prove anything in the bible, and neither can the christians because of confirmation bias and ad populum arguments. This goes for every religion, so I'm not singling out them. Each religion has different sets of beliefs, some eat their deceased, others put them in the ground in coffins, others mummified their dead. Each religion has different deities, with different rules and different names. There is nothing that infers a singular source to any of these things other than that every human culture, at some point, has believed in higher powers. This can be explained with far simpler reasoning than magic, like that people were uninformed then and didn't and couldn't understand how the world worked.

If there is a creator, this harsh reality would become even more unbearable to me. I consider this place a joke, a sick, sadistic joke where organisms are forced to feed upon one another.

Stress and pain is a daily occurrence and will be for most of our lives, regardless if we live in the forests of nature, or in the cities of man.

What really hits home in me is the thought of what could have been if an almighty creator really did exist, all creatures, on all planets, could have avoided this fate.

I find solace in the loneliness, otherwise I'd like to talk to the management, because anyone who is not a psychotic sadist could create a better place than this.

If a god planned this much suffering for all organisms, me included, my only hope if there is an afterlife is to be buried with a switchblade; So that I may spring from my grave and

stab him. I don't believe in any creator, because I have not seen any evidence for one, but if there is one, I find its methods barbaric and twisted. I wish to have nothing to do with it.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   5 Members, 0 Anonymous, 73 Guests (See full list)

    • MaybeRob
    • Susie
    • April Marie
    • SamC
    • Penrose-Pauling
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.6k
    • Total Posts
      767.7k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,008
    • Most Online
      8,356

    BeautifulMistake
    Newest Member
    BeautifulMistake
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Alik222
      Alik222
      (24 years old)
    2. AvaWill
      AvaWill
      (37 years old)
    3. Drewies
      Drewies
      (50 years old)
    4. JackJerryJohnTheTreeWorker
      JackJerryJohnTheTreeWorker
      (28 years old)
    5. jgram22
      jgram22
      (37 years old)
  • Posts

    • Sally Stone
      ss,   I can't say that my image in the mirror has helped me understand why I am bi-gender.  I'm pretty certain the reason I identify as bi-gender  has to do with how I feel inside.  About mirrors though, I do clearly see my inner woman when I look at myself in the mirror.  
    • MaeBe
    • Abigail Genevieve
      The tornado called Taylor ripped through Bob's apartment. After a trip to a laundromat, two trips to grocery stores for cleaning supplies and what Taylor opined were Basic Staples, everything was scrubbed within an inch of its life.  A new dish  drainer with a new hand towel and dish cloth were by the side of the scrubbed out sink; motorcycle parts were in a box under the newly made bed.  Floor, shower, toilet, sink had been hit in the bathroom and new towels hung there the way Taylor liked them. "I don't recognize the place/" "So move out." Taylor was sitting on one of the new kitchen chairs.  There were four of them around the little wooden table.  In the middle was a flower arrangement.  Bob had made his last trip to the dumpster.  Not a pizza box remained. A row of card board boxes with books had been replaced by shelves full of neatly arranged books. "Look at this." "I am not going to do this all the time.  You clean your own place from now on. I am bushed." "Many thanks, babe." "No problem, Big Guy." "Hey, I wanted to talk to you about exercise.  Karate in particular."  He pronounced it ka-ra-tay. "I am a second Dan black belt and there is a certain obligation there to teach other people." "Kara-tay? I don't know." "A friend of mine runs a dojo here and needs my help. He talked to me already.  Tuesday and Thursday night and Saturday mornings." "Oh.  So you will be there then." She looked disappointed. "I'm hoping you will be there." "Sounds dangerous.  But I could use the exercise." "And self-defense would be good. It might help." "It might. Huh.  Saturday morning?" "8 AM I need to be there. Classes run until noon. I don't need to be there the whole time." "Is there an intro class or anything?" "Yes. 10 to 11." "How about if I try that."  She was not very enthusiastic.  Punches and kicks and stuff.   Saturday morning they arrived together.  She wanted to watch the Green Belt class that met then just to see what she was in for. Sensei Mark came to the front of the room, before the big American and Japanese flags. Between them was a picture.  "I am honored to introduce to you Sensei Bob.  He is a second Dan black belt.  He has actually beaten me in tournaments.  I have known him through tournaments.  You will listen to him as you listen to me.   Sensei Bob, take the class. The two sensei bowed to each other.  Sensei Bob pointed out that Sensei Mark had beaten him, as well. Taylor was sort of standing against the back wall, scrunched up, a mouse in her crisp new beltless gi.  Her t-shirt was off white underneath it and she was hoping no one would notice. "I am Sensei Mark. You are Taylor." "Yes, sensei!" she stood at attention and shouted it. He laughed.  "This is not Cobra Kai and we are not in a Karate Kind movie.  You do that here only between bows.  Bob tells me you are a complete beginner." "That is an understatement." "Here, let me fix your gi."  She had it on a little incorrectly.  She drew back. "What's the matter?" "I am pretty touchy." "Okay.  Untie the straps in front and tie them the other way, like mine." "I don't have a belt." "There. That is right. You will get a belt after three months and passing tests on kata, kumite and karate knowledge." "I don't know what that is." "And we touch a lot here.  Not romantically. You see how Sensei Bob is going around and adjusting people's stances and arm locations." "Yes, I see that." No enthusiasm. "You are Sensei Bob's girl, right?" "Yes.  What is important to him is important to me, so here I am."  He wished her well and told her to go see Margie, who handled registration at the little table. "Hi, I heard about you." Margie began. "What does that mean?" "It means we treat everyone here with respect.  That was the wrong way to start." "I'll say. Try again." "Good morning. How can I help you?" "I want to register for the beginner class." "You are Taylor, right?" "Right." "Sensei Bob paid for your lesson today." He would. She gave name, address, age, height, weight, and they came to gender. Margie asked it twice. "Put down female." "The only other choice is male." "Then that is it." "Earlier I was thinking about tournaments, which are big here. The rules are that boys fight boys and girls fight girls - there are Men's and Women's Divisions.  I know you look like a woman, but they go by the birth certificate." This was awkward.  Really awkward.  Down at the other end of the room they were moving in unison when Bob said HAI!, turning, punching, kicking, etc. "I don't plan to go to tournaments.  One step at a time, shall we?" "Okay.  And I meant it when I said respect.  We bow to each other.  You will see. As a sign of honoring other people." Margie bowed slightly, sitting down.  Taylor returned the bow and smiled. The class moved into sparring, breaking into twos and practicing moves against each other.  Bob was moving among the pairs, adjusting positions of hands, hips, feet.  Taylor was unsure about someone touching her like that, her hips particularly.    The green belt class ended as new students came in for the beginners' class. Down at the other end the brown belt class began.  The room was large enough you could do two classes at the same time.   The other beginners, nervous, lined up at Margie's table.  People got into gis, the men in their big area and only woman in the little restroom that was for them.   Sensei Mark greeted them and showed them where to stand: on the little x's on the floor. He explained the School Code.  They would recite it at the beginning of class and they needed to memorize it for the white belt test, at which time they would, of course, receive a white belt. He explained some terms.    They warmed up with some basic, easy stretches.   They learned a kata called Taikyoku Shodan, involving blocks, punches and some movements. This was not bad.   She was now paired off with Judy.  Things were going well and this was not too bad. Judy was sixty years old and had been told to exercise by her doctor.  Taylor said her boyfriend was teaching the other class, which was impressive, and he wanted her involved.   "You remember the gedan barai - downward block?"  They did. Everyone showed him and he went around and made sure everyone had it down. "And the lunge punch?"  They did. "Now we are going to put them together. One of you will punch and the other block it. Okay?"   Taylor squared off against Judy.  Her heart was pounding.  She practiced her gedan barai as Judy practiced her lower lunge punch.  Then they faced each other. "Okay, first partner, lunge punch.  Second partner, lower block.  Slowly.  Go!" Taylor saw the punch coming at her, but instead of blocking it her eyes welled up with tears and she dropped to the floor, weeping uncontrollably. "Oh God, Oh, God, Oh God, make it stop, make it stop" she shouted to parties unseen. Fetal position, rocking back and forth. Crying hysterically. "I didn't go near her," Judy said, bewildered. "Taylor?"  this was Sensei Bob.  Both classes had stopped and were looking at her. She kept crying. "I am here, "Bob told her, not touching.  "Oh Bob you need a wife who can be a real woman to you. I am making you into a monk or something." And she continued crying at full volume. "You need someone better than me, someone who can give you kids." Everyone could hear this.  They were turning away, trying to pretend they could not hear this. "I need to get her out of here and take her." Bob said, and he and Mark bowed to each other. He scooped her up and she bawled into his shoulder.  She clung to him.  First hug ever. Death grip, more like it. "Judy, would you get her things?" "I did nothing," Judy said, and moved towards the restroom, stunned.  "Nothing." "I know what she was wearing," Margie said, and got them. "I've got a gym bag. It 's red and it says Roosters on it. Can you get it? Mark got it.  He accompanied them to the car.  Taylor was non-stop crying deeply, clinging to him for dear life. Mark unlocked the car and together they managed to pry Taylor off of him, even though it took both of them to do it.  She was in the car seat and they managed to buckle her in it. "I am going to take you to your apartment," he said. "No. Emergency room," she said. "Maybe the psych ward."  He didn't doubt it. She calmed down in a few minutes on the way. "Well, that was embarrassing." "Everyone remembers their first day of karate class." "Bob, what I love about you is your sense of humor." "I love everything about you." "Even this?" "Yes. Even this." She managed to walk into the ER.  They were both still in gis. "Karate accident?" "No. I am Taylor and I am a nut. I wear a gi all the time. I make my boyfriend wear one, too." "She had a triggered event.  She's had some difficult times." "I see. Do you you know are bleeding?" "No."  Her crotch was wet with blood and the blood was seeping down both legs. She was wheeled away. "Sir, please wait here." He did.  He had no legal right to see her right now. After a while a nurse came out and said he could come on  back. There she was in a hospital gown.  "Seems like old times." "yeah.  We gotta stop meeting like this." The nurse buzzed around and left them. "They are running tests." "I bet they are." "I got an MRI. On a Saturday morning, too."  First ever. "You rate.  But why?" "They figure some of the old scar tissue - you know, from the- from the past - ripped open and they need to see what is going on." "We know what is going on,"said a doctor, stepping in. He looked at her. "I am Doctor Michaels.  They called me in.  I just happened to be in the building and they wanted me to see this and take the case.  My specialty is Disorders of Sexual Development. But what I am seeing is little in the way of disorder.  Look at this." They looked at the image. "This is a perfectly ordinary uterus." "Uterus?" "Yes, your uterus." "What?" "That is not all.  This is a cervix, and this is a vagina." "It's blocked up." "Yes.  It looks like you had surgery to do exactly that when you were an infant.  They used to do that." "This is me?" "You." "Really?" "I imagine this takes some getting used to. "Can it be undone?" "Absolutely. I mean, I cannot guarantee it, but it is more than likely. I would like to run some tests." "And the bleeding?" "It looks like the hormones you have been taking have kicked of a regular monthly cycle. Then you did a whole bunch of exercise.  Not surprising." "What?" "I want you to come to my office next week for follow-up.  Have you ever had a genetic test of any sort?" "No." "Well, your testes - one looks at first glance more like an ovary." "Ovary. Can I have kids?" "Too soon to tell.  You look happy." She did.  "Bob, you look stunned." "I am." "Given what happened earlier today we want to keep you overnight for observation.  I understand you are a trauma victim and something triggered it." "I got a punch thrown at me in kara-tay class, is all. I am a wimp." "Well, I will let you two talk for a minute and they will come and get you shortly.  No bad news here." "They are coming to take me away, hah-hah, they are coming to take me away," Taylor chanted. "Bob, I am not done with kara-tay.  I want to at least finish a first class. I mean, you paid for it and I want you to get your money's worth." "I think I got that." "Kiss me, you fool,"  she said, and he did, with energy.        
    • April Marie
      These arrived in yesterday's mail. I'm out working in the yard today so just old clothes. I'm looking forward to wearing this t-shirt dress when the weather warms up a bit more.  
    • missyjo
      Ashley I've known busty girls who wore b nice bras tl work n such then like a sift sports bra to lounge or sleep in hugs
    • missyjo
      your nails b hair came wonderful  congratulations  enjoy
    • Willow
      The one thing about this position, if you want more hours just wait and be flexible.  I’m now working until 7:30 pm instead of 4:30.  
    • Ashley0616
      I hope your head cold goes away soon! Sorry you have to cut grass with that.   Love the new t-shirt   I love that one.    What Jeep would you want to get? That is awesome about your wife getting better!
    • Ashley0616
      Welcome Mattie! I would recommend the first step is finding a gender therapist and see if you are or aren't. Then one of the biggest steps if you are do you want to start hormone replacement therapy. The decision should be thought long and hard. There are irreversible effects. Looking forward to your next post! Take care!
    • Ashley0616
      Congratulations on being able to pick up a cancellation! I hope to hear more updates about your transition. 
    • Ashley0616
    • Ashley0616
      Getting a dog maybe next month
    • Ashley0616
      Spending time with my kids and eventually will be adopting a dog next month. 
    • KymmieL
      Well every girl needs a play toy. I just happen to have 7 of them.   My hoses finally came in. have the passenger front installed. Now trying to figure out how to do the drivers side when the tire is still on and there is no room to do it.  I'll figure sumthin out.  I is smrt.   Well have the wife home with me. She wound up falling back asleep after turning her alarm off. I woke her up at 6:20. She is due to work at 6. She decided to just call in.       MaeBe that is what this thread was started for. A chat place to share our days and thoughts for the day.   Hugs   Kymmie
    • Ashley0616
      simplicity:  : the state of being simple, uncomplicated, or uncompounded : lack of subtlety or penetration : INNOCENCE, NAIVETÉ : FOLLY, SILLINESS : freedom from pretense or guile : CANDOR : directness of expression : CLARITY : restraint in ornamentation : AUSTERITY
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...