... Head Explosion (Thoughts)

[Guest Maria (Hilda)]

I've been thinking a lot after my last GT visit and counsellor visit... Both are basically trying to tell me how to transition, what pace I should go at and when to start.

Then I've been thinking... ''What about when I want to start, and feel comfortable starting?''

But, forcing the matter probably won't get me anywhere, and just waste time.

I understand everyone says listen to your therapist and work with them, but I...

I don't know.

My head is exploding trying to sort this all out.

I'm thinking of just going in next time and saying straight off when I want to and feel comfortable starting, and just..

Gah!

I'm giving myself a headache.

Can someone help please? Any advice, or... something.

Love, Maria.

[Guest NatashaJade]

Maria dear,

I know how you feel. Once I decided that this was for me, I didn't want to waste any time. My GT follows the SOC fairly rigidly, though, and made me wait. And, so, I waited.

You are much younger than me, darling girl, and patience is something we learn over time. I know you know you are ready and you should communicate this to your people and discuss what you want. But also be ready for them to put the brakes on. It will come and you will be ready for it. Until then, keep doing everything else.

love

Tasha

[Guest ricka]

Hi Sugar! Sounds to me like you are struggling to hear your inner woman's voice over the voices of others. No therapist worth his/her salt is gonna pre-scribe the path or the timing which is right for you---Harry Benjamin Standards of Care or not. A counselor's role is to assist _you_ to find that path which is uniguely yours to follow and to find your own woman's voice as well. Every woman's journey is different.

Miss Ricka

[Guest BeckyTG]

I've been thinking a lot after my last GT visit and counselor visit... Both are basically trying to tell me how to transition, what pace I should go at and when to start.

Maria,

They are giving you their advice, based on their own knowledge and what they think is in your head. If they aren't transgender themselves, they don't really have a clue how you feel.

Then I've been thinking... ''What about when I want to start, and feel comfortable starting?''

But, forcing the matter probably won't get me anywhere, and just waste time.

Furthermore, if you don't tell them these things, how are they supposed to know? Can you imagine calling a travel agent for a plane ticket and not telling them when you wanted to fly? The next thing they will ask is "where do you want to fly from?" You won't tell them that, either. They really can't help you, but that's almost exactly what it looks like you're doing with your counselor.

I understand everyone says listen to your therapist and work with them, but I...

A good therapist is someone you can say anything to and they won't get mad or offended. You have to be totally truthful and tell them everything.

So, how about telling them your thoughts on when you should transition?

I don't know.

My head is exploding trying to sort this all out.

I'm thinking of just going in next time and saying straight off when I want to and feel comfortable starting, and just..

Gah!

I'm giving myself a headache.

Can someone help please? Any advice, or... something.

Love, Maria.

I've now been to 3 different therapists. I went into reasonable detail in the beginning with each one to explain my exact reasons for using them and what I hoped to accomplish. Furthermore, I even put time lines in there. There's no reason to not do this. If you can't come to an agreement in the first session as to where this will go and how it can be expected to come out, what is the reason to have a second session?

When I put out an idea that I have, I always make it a point to ask the therapist if I'm being reasonable in my expectations. We can all expect to have DD boobs the morning after we start on hormones, but it probably won't happen.

So, talk to them. Give them enough information to make better decisions if they deem that necessary.

Your posts indicate to me that you have exceptional mental processes and are well grounded in your life. Be sure to let the therapists know what you're thinking.

Love,

Becky

[Guest Maria (Hilda)]

I guess you're right. I should tell them what I plan on happening. Its not like I'm asking for it to be straight away, I don't feel comfortable starting until July/August.

Thanks for the Travel Agent analogy Becky, very easy to comprehend and understand, and you're completely right.

I need to talk to them about this stuff.

My head is still exploding with thoughts, but I've got the inferno doused now.

Love you lot, lots.

Maria.