One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

[Guest April]

Well for the step forward, I have found myself being more comfy with myself. This being no mater where i am at, what i am wearing, or what i am doing. I have reached a point that i feel female about 90% of the time, the other 10% of the time i feel like i am in limbo, not male nor female.

Now for the two steps back, it will sound like i am contradicting myself here.... lol .... but that is just normal for me. Even though i am becoming more comfortable with myself i am finding that i am have more duress about certain appendages. It seems that if i could of had them removed yesterday it still would not be soon enough. I am not really sure why this feeling has grown so strong. Could it be caused by the above part to this? Dose anyone have any ideas on ways to at least make this feeling more bearable, like way to redirect this feeling to something more positive?

[Guest Wendy]

April, you should know by now that the answer to every woman's problem is ...........chocolate!

[Guest Snow Angel]

Just try to ignore it or not think about it too much. That's what I do.

[Guest Kelly]

April, you should know by now that the answer to every woman's problem is ...........chocolate!

indeed... when i feel upset or angry or am having a bad day ... to the caqndy store or to the fridge for choclate milk

seriouslyt someone needs to make a choclate super hero for us

[Guest April]

I have tried to ignore it but it is there and that is what is bothering me. I honestly think that if i could get rid of it 90% of my problem would be fixed. If it was just that easy, but everything else has to be done first. I am honestly learning to accept that i am and always will be in a male body no matter what i do to it. Even though i do have plans for everything else, life would be better for me if that part was gone as it has got to be the most hideous part of my body.

[Guest Zenda]

Kia Ora April,

Prior to being selected for government funded surgery I was put through stringent psycho-surgical assessments[the government didn’t want to make a mistake when forking out 30 odd thousand dollars] –I was assessed by all three surgeons from the surgical team, two psyche assessments and a session with a psychotherapist …

I told all of them, if for some reason I was not selected, naturally I would be disappointed but I would cope and just get on with my life as a female-like I had already been doing for the past four years[this was back in 2005]…

Sites like this have both good and bad points, however I would like to stress this site is 99.9% good and only 1% of what I consider bad -and this is what I call the CHOPS>>Collective Hatred of One’s Phallus Syndrome…The more one reads posts where others talk about how they hate or dislike their ‘boy thingy’ and wishes it was gone[chopped off], the more some readers begin to feel the same way about theirs[coming out in solidarity - a collective form of sympathetic agreement with others]…For some, what at first was just a slight problem that one had been coping quite well with for a number of years, all of a sudden ‘it’ becomes a major issue, disrupting their everyday lives, taking up their every thought day in, day out…

The best way to overcome this obsession is to ‘celebrate’ how you truly feel as a person – the female you feel yourself to be. That ‘obsolete’ piece of dead floppy skin/fat tissue should not have any major impact on how you view yourself from within-by having it removed is not going to miraculously make one more of a ‘female’ in society’s eyes[unless you live in a nudist commune that is]-and yes psychologically it can improve ones well being creating a somewhat ‘wholeness’ completeness feeling-it did for me, but for four years prior to having surgery I had already seen myself as a female and was comfortably living in society as one…it just so happened I had a little bit extra fat tissue hanging around which I had learnt to live with-back then, I had no choice …

However if this obsession does take hold, then it’s important to seek professional help…But remember if one becomes ‘totally’ obsessed with having their boy thingy removed…therapists ‘may’ view them as somewhat mentally unbalanced, especially if one has had ‘it’ hanging around for twenty odd years or more-then all of a sudden out of the ‘blue’ it becomes enemy number one-a major thing of hate and distaste…

Again April it all boils down to one attitude towards ‘things’ and having an healthy attitude can go along way to finding contentment with whatever come your way…[what life throws at you]…Remember “The penis does not maketh the man [or woman] !” It how one feels inside that counts…

Look at it this way…What if for some reason you couldn’t have surgery-say for medical or financial reasons how would you cope then???

Metta Jendar

[Sakura]

tucking can be a real life saver i rationalize it as it dosnt really effect me in my daily life i mean i can do anything a GG can go i go to the womans locker room in the gym wear rather skimpy bikinis to the pool and beach i dont like having it down there but i have niether the funds or means to get the op right now so i try and not think about it i know that easier said than done

you have too make the best of a crappy situation you could be stuck like this for many more years or possibly somthing changes and you never get it you have to find ways to keep your self happy till its time to part ways then technically your never truly parted with it it just changes shapes

when life gives you lemons.........find some one that got vodka and have a party

Sakura