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By kira_k · Posted
It's very hard to really know what to do. I'm the same, I'm mid 40s and would find it very hard to pass as a woman - in terms of hair anyway. People have told me that it's not something you need to do if you don't want to. Sometimes I'm okay with that, other times it gets me down that I can't get that. But saying that sometimes I'm okay with it because I'm not trying to be a woman all the time, I'm just wearing clothes that I find nice and comfortable - they happen to be worn more by women. I'm only 5'5, so find it easier to fit clothes. And I suppose really it's the frustration talking and there are always ways to hide and brings out different aspects of my body to present the way I would like. It's going to be a learning process I guess. Thanks for your comments though, I appreciate it. -
By kira_k · Posted
Thank you for your reply. It does feel very frustrating at the moment, but I'm also very early on in my journey. I think that's what it is though, each of our journeys are very different as we are all unique people. I don't really have any answers either. I have been speaking to a therapist, so hopefully it's stuff I can work through. They have told me to focus on what I need and to be more gentle to myself. It's just going to take time I think. It's good to know that there are people here that have/will go through the same thing though. -
By Rianon · Posted
That sure is an impressive training prop, @Mmindy ! It sure is a far cry from the stage props I'm used to, like rubber daggers and "blood" made from gelatin and red food coloring. 😊 Merry Thursday, everyone! Rianon -
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By Jupiter · Posted
I've only just starting presenting femme at work (last few weeks) and I'm having this. Last week I went into the ladies on my floor and there was someone in a cubicle so I was turned around and walked back out, so I went into the mens and a colleage walked in whilst I was washing my hands and I felt I had to apologise to him for making things awkward. This week I used the ladies and it was fine. Another colleague of mine has offered to go with me if I'm feeling shy about it (that's even more awkward!). The point of going into the one that more closely matches your presentation at the time is I would say good advice. I'm undergoing hair removal on my face atm and lets just say its making things difficult. I can only wear makeup for a day and then have to take a few days off, and I just can't face trying to present femme with beard shadow or stubble. On Monday I'm presenting as NB (long hair, hoodie, skinny jeans) and use the mens and on Tuesday I present femme, then give it a few days and present femme again on Thursday or Friday and then the weekend to recover. I'm currently using They/Them pronouns but I'm going to be using a femme name soon so I'll be effectively switcing between 2 identites from a presentation point of view... -
By Jupiter · Posted
I was reading your post and it just speaks to me of a gender-queer/non-binary identity. If it helps I was the same, I liked aspects of being a man, had/have some fairly 'masc' hobbies like airsoft and performance cars but struggled with not feeling like a man at all most of the time. Turns out I really was just unconsciously accepting of the free pass I was getting as a white cis male in a lot of life and I was worried about giving that up. Someone asked the 'if there was a button to turn you into a cis woman would you do it' question and they had barely finished before I was 'hell yes' and that's when my egg broke I guess, revealing my true self. As it happens I'm late 40's, have a fairly hairy body also and a 5 o'clock shadow 2 seconds after shaving and whilst I'm fairly small bodied (5'8) presenting feeling femme or androgynous is a LOT harder now than it was in my teens/20s/30s etc, but the genie is out of the bottle now and I can't go back. Lots of people are aware of NB as an identity now, so if anyone asks why you are not conforming to gender stereotypes you can simply say you are gender queer/non-binary and combine aspects of both genders in the way you present and act, and its just who you are as a package. -
By April Marie · Posted
Truth be told, you are experiencing what most, if not all, of us have felt. That's not meant to dismiss your feelings - just to let you know that we're all on a journey of discovery, some of us further along than others. I initially thought I was a crossdresser. Like you it wasn't a sexual thing but, rather, I felt that I looked "right" when I was wearing feminine attire. Ultimately, it took years, lots of depression and, finally, some work with a therapist to understand my truth. Each of us in this community are individuals and our wants/needs/desires are different. WHile there are similarities to our stories in some cases, there are just as many differences. Unfortunately, societies use labels to make sense of things, to eliminate the need for long explanations which seems to be one of the ways you feel trapped since your reality and experiences don't fit a mold. I wish I could offer some short cut - and perhaps one of the many much more experienced people here can. One of the exceptional things about our community here at TP is our diversity - which makes it possible to have interactions and discussions without fear of getting the propositions and explicit photos. We're here to help and support, not feed on and abuse each other. Crossdresser evokes ideas and emotions in people - just as does transgender - which makes it difficult to predict the reactions when we talk about our thoughts and actions to people outside of the community. Yesterday, I felt absolutely beautiful in a new blouse I'd bought recently....trying to explain that to anyone outside of our community would certainly evoke a strange reaction. Unfortunately, our/your society still maintains pretty tight gender norms which box in those of us that don't fit. As I read your post, that frustration seemed to come to the surface. And, again, I have no real solution. I'd just offer, again, that you're on a journey of discovery. There are lots of resources here to help, provide advice and guidance and a lot of wonderful people who will be there to help...or just to talk with. I hope my long-winded post provided some bit of help or thought to consider. Welcome to the journey!! -
By Timber Wolf · Posted
Hi kira_k, Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here. Lots of love and a big welcome hug, Timber Wolf🐾 -
By Timber Wolf · Posted
Good morning everyone,🍄 Happy birthday melissaharper🎂 Happy birthday techno_kinnie🎂 Happy birthday Rorelai🎂 Happy birthday evesypeasy🎂 Happy birthday LittlesMikaelson🎂 Happy birthday Katherine1745🎂 Happy birthday Dannie🎂 Hope you have a beautiful day! Lots of love, Timber Wolf🎂 -
By Jupiter · Posted
Having just started this process (South UK) I can give my experienance so far. I used my GP surgery's online system to request an appointment for referral to the GIC, and initially I got a response back with an appointment date but that there would be 2 GP's in attendance. Bit weird but OK. Come the day of the appointment I was met with one GP who didn't know why I was there (hadn't looked at the notes) so I just asked to be referred. They pulled up the form and filled in the basics, and told me they would send it off and that was a month ago. I've heard stories about forms not actually being submitted after you've left the appointment so I should probably check on that. Whilst I was there I let them know I was aware of the 2+ year wait for a first appointment (more like 4-5 now apparently) and that I would be looking to go private for care and HRT, and would they offer shared care if I did? The response from the GP I was with, was that if it was a medical professional they should be able to. I didn't press further on if it mattered if they were outside of the UK or not (looking at you G-GP) but it appeared that as long as it came from a trusted source they may be able to help with HRT prescriptions. I came out feeling better about it than when I went in, but I've not heard anything since and all in all I think the whole thing took about 20m, and they didn't even try and refer me to any gender therapy clinics either. As it happens my local GP clinic has very recently merged with another and has close to 10k people on their books, and getting an appointment can be a nightmare so I don't expect any follow up care from them at all unless I seek it directly. -
By Dillon · Posted
I think I hear you saying that you want to be treated as a whole person. I agree, and I think you'll find lots of support here. -
By April Marie · Posted
What awesome news @happyinvermont!! That's an impressive training prop @Mmindy - what a skilled craftsperson you are. 3rd cup of coffee is finished. Today is the day to take out our trash and I have some outdoor projects to do...assuming the temps outside get somewhere above freezing. Spring is always a rollercoaster of sub-freezing to 60s and 70s temps here. I prefer the warmer temps. Life's been good here - despite not having my therapy yesterday I'm feeling good. Happy. Content. Since I'm not able to fully transition - at least not at this point - I've been looking for strategies to keep grounded in my reality while having to portray my male self. It certainly tugs at my dysphoria but it's been manageable. Life is good. Be safe and happy!! -
By Mmindy · Posted
Good news, for a morning coffee. Best wishes, happyinvermont. Today is the last day of my prop build for ISP. I down to labels, logos, and Thumb-drive PowerPoint set up. Photo inset it what the finished prop will look like. It's to teach first responders about cargo tanks that haul propane, and anhydrous ammonia. aka an MC-331 Cargo Tank. -
By Davie · Posted
The main and top headline in today's newspaper gets it right: ‘Desperate and bigoted’: the right uses latest shooting to malign trans people From hateful rants on Fox news to falsehoods in Congress, the far right exploits the tragedy to demonize vulnerable people. https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/mar/30/far-right-demonize-lgbtq-nashville-shooting -
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