Ohhh, Food.

[Guest Elliot]

So I've come out to my parents that I'm bi, have a gender issue, and that I'm also a compulsive eater (or binge). I don't really know which one I fit into or that they might be the same. I don't like doing research on it, like I have for my other 'issues.' I think maybe because I don't mind the other two as much. Anyway, I just noticed there was an eating disorder posting place and thought I should say something about it. I was happy to see that 'my' disorder was up on the list (hah, well not happy, but surprised), as that one is usually not mentioned as often.

I just want to say a few things for myself and maybe for some other people that might be in the same boat as me.

I don't know why I overeat or snack excessively. I don't believe that I'm depressed and neither does my doctor or my old therapist (I currently do not have one). I eat half bags of chips and then chocolate, and more and more. Stealing by McDonalds or Dairy Queen after my work to grab some ice cream. Sometimes I can say no, but most of the time it's "Oh, this will be the last time, I swear. Then I'll stop and get real." But that next time never comes and the excersize that I planned never happens.

It started around the 5th grade, but I was never really aware what was going on until my freshman or sophomore in high

school. I'm a senior now.

I wish I would take better care of my body, but it's just such a struggle sometimes. I know that weight loss would help my looks on passing in public, making my chest smaller by losing weight, and also by just looking thinner and more fit. But it's so hard, and I think I'm trying to take a hold of something too big for me alone to handle.

I've tried a therapist specifically for eating disorders and I wasn't too keen on it. Maybe I should try another one, but to me, thinking about it disgusts me. It's like I've sunk into this hole and I'm too scared to climb out of it. Talking about it is even worse. I absolutely hate it. But inside I know that's probably the best way to handle it.

I've gone to OA meetings but those made me feel even worse than the therapy. My parents want to help and I know that they'd do anything because they understand my dilemma. But... *shrug* I don't know/want to do anything.

I'm not huge huge or obese in any way (or so I believe). I'm almost 5'8" and weigh 180 pounds. I've got a belly you can see and stretch marks to boot, but that doesn't even stop my hand wandering into the pantry. Well, for those who have skimmed this or read it, thanks. I just want to voice my problem for once - as written above, I haven't really worked on it, or talked about it in depth. So this is the first time I've said my whole story.

Thanks

-Elliot

[Guest Huff]

you don't have to be depressed to have a problem with compulsive eating (or with any other compulsive behavior or addiction). Actually, quite a lot of people develop compulsive behaviors in order that they not feel at all (this isn't a conscious choice/process... it just kind of develops as a coping mechanism over time). For me, the reason I will abuse food even though I know it's bad for me is because I want to avoid anxiety/fear or heighten excitement/joy... but it took a long time and a lot of self-observation to figure that out.

the other important factor is that the behavior or substance of choice often does something for the person that it doesn't do for everyone. For me, every single time I put sugar or certain food textures into my mouth it is like an explosion of dopamine inside my head, plus all the adrenaline leading up to actually eating whatever it is. That just doesn't happen to most people. Plus, if I fill my stomach to the just beyond full point, my brain gives me the signal to keep eating rather than feel full and satisfied and stop. What acts as a negative feedback loop in most individuals acts as a positive feedback loop in me. With both of those mechanisms going on, it's a no brainer that I'd eat like a maniac.

What's the trick to getting out of it? Avoiding the food types and food behaviors that cause those insane brain mechanisms.

The problem is that those behaviors are what your brain knows how to do best... they're the 'default mode'. So the work you have to do involves the long and painful process of rewiring your brain. Many people find therapy and/or support groups helpful in that process, but they certainly don't have any magic wand that will just make it go away.

MK

[Guest Evan_J]

Man I so need to be in a support group with you guys. I understand/am having both the constant eating as somethng I'm trying to rewire and (though it wasn't explained as techno/medically) I think the dopamine issue as well. What a threapist of mine said was that I basically was supstituting food for sex. Using food to get the pleasure/satisfaction that I would get from sex. Her recommendation was find a girl I liked and actually have more sex . Which, I dunno if it was the best remedy to give someone but it sounds like she's sayin its actually the dopamine or maybe even indorphens I'm after when I continuously eat. Anyhow, what I'm gonna do now is exercise.

I tried eating better last week and started feeling like I was making progress then ate a piece of pizza so I wanna get rid of it.

I think exercize is a better remedy for weight control.

[Guest Elliot]

Thanks for the words!

I'd like to rewire my brian, but I think it takes more concentration than my lazy self wants to give. So maybe I'll really dedicate this next month of August to just try something really hard or try to find something that's lacking in my life. Maybe if I get positive results that will encourage me to keep on going!

Well, it's good to know that I'm not alone.

Thanks again.

[Guest Evan_J]

I saw a portion of some show on television recently (don't know which show, I'm not a television watcher and I was passing by sort of thing) where the individual lost a phenomenal amount of weight blah blah. The one thing that the person did say, which sounded like a good plan, was that because it all seemed so overwhelming in the beginning, they chose one thing initially to change from eating. They chose soft drinks. If you know anything about softdrinks you'll know what a culprit they are in not only helping you pack on loads of inches but also many of the ingredients actually stop your body from burning fat! Especially the ones marketed as "diet". Like them, was a soft drink junkie. So I chose that as my one thing to start with.

Some "complete overhaul" all at once would have been a little much for me; as much as I liked to snack it would last 6 seconds. But going that route I feel like I have something I can hold onto.

[Guest Huff]

The one thing that the person did say, which sounded like a good plan, was that because it all seemed so overwhelming in the beginning, they chose one thing initially to change from eating.

That's worked for me too. First on the list was alcohol. Then purging. Then dairy products (I'm allergic, but was eating them anyhow). Then sugar. Now, I'm working on 'fake sugar' (saccharin, sucralose, aspartame - I'm finding tea with a little orange juice works as a substitute) and trying to make myself sit and eat with a plate and a fork instead of opening the fridge and just ramming down food until I'm way overfull (I'm down to about 3 times per week of fridge attacking). It's a slow, imperfect process.

MK

[Guest RainBird]

I have unusual problems, behaviors with eating, it's strange, I get these 'urges' every so often to absolutely stuff myself silly with food, and occasionally even surprising myself with how much I can fit in! .. I don't really put on too much weight as a result, I must have hollow legs and hips..

I havn't really noticed to feel one way or another in particular when I get these urges, like being depressed for example.

I don't understand it! lol

The funny thing is I enjoy the feeling.. What does it mean? ..besides being weird

xx

[Guest Huff]

The funny thing is I enjoy the feeling.. What does it mean? ..besides being weird

Weird? probably not... humans are all a little quirky

Do you like the feeling of wanting to binge or the feeling of binging or the feeling of being stuffed after binging?

I always kind of liked the feeling of wanting to binge because of the adrenaline. And, I liked the feeling of binging because as long as I kept putting food in, I would have all the pleasure receptors in my brain highly activated. I never liked the feeling of being stuffed... hence I was bulimic.

I know that for me it's true that eating like that is very often tied to emotions... but mostly it was just because I liked the feeling in my brain that the behavior created.

There are also times when I feel like eating a lot and it's not about those feelings, but actually about being hungry. My body will go through cycles of not feeling particularly hungry for a couple of days and resulting in a cumulative deficit in calories and then feeling hungrier than usual for a day or two. I think that's a fairly normal cycle.

Maybe trying to be aware of whether it's about creating a feeling or whether it's actually hunger could help you figure out what's going on with you.

MK

[Guest RainBird]

Hi MK

Thanks for your reply on this unusual topic.

Yeah, I find I really enjoy the feeling of being full or 'stuffed' but not as an abition to become obese or anything, nore do I do it too often to be at a great risk of becoming over-weight, I'm rather slim and have a high metabolism.

I actually find it is somewhat arousing and satisfying for some reason and it increases my 'female sex urges' alot!

Why? I have no idea! lol

I'm not crazy, just a bit nutty... nuts.. mmmmm!

[Guest Huff]

I actually find it is somewhat arousing and satisfying for some reason and it increases my 'female sex urges' alot!

Why? I have no idea! lol

Food and sex are definitely tied. Something about activation and satiation of primal urges, I guess. For example, some people eat instead of having sex. For others, eating a fancy dinner is somehow connected to having sex later. You'll even find that a HUGE percentage of women in OA (overeater's anonymous) were sexually abused as children... somehow that kind of trauma is very, very often tied to food as comfort and fat as protection. From a psychological or sociological perspective, the food-sex thing is really fascinating.

Anyway, way to be self-observant. It doesn't sound like the food behaviors are really a problem for you right now. Occasional over-indulgence isn't a bad thing... I think most people would say that's normal, and maybe even healthy. You can start to be wary if you find those indulgences happening everyday or nearly every day or if they become where you feel like you have to do it.

MK

[Guest GoldenKirbichu]

I've definitely used food as a comforting mechanism, and I'm extremely obese now... I'm afraid to lose weight because I fear the development of curves more than anything.

[Guest Huff]

I've definitely used food as a comforting mechanism, and I'm extremely obese now... I'm afraid to lose weight because I fear the development of curves more than anything.

I've met a lot of transguys that are overweight and often obese for exactly that reason - it's kind of like a lot of guys eat to cover up their female bodies. I don't really have a spectacular solution for it, though... other than recognizing that 1. it'll kill you and 2. testosterone will help a lot to redistribute your mass (except, of course for your bones). I also noticed at the Gender Odyssey conference that T had the most masculizing effect on guys who had smaller amounts of adipose tissue. But the whole process of loosing the weight will probably create some curves, especially if you're not on T yet... and I can totally see how awful that prospect would be.

MK

[Guest confusedfemale]

So I've come out to my parents that I'm bi, have a gender issue, and that I'm also a compulsive eater (or binge). I don't really know which one I fit into or that they might be the same. I don't like doing research on it, like I have for my other 'issues.' I think maybe because I don't mind the other two as much. Anyway, I just noticed there was an eating disorder posting place and thought I should say something about it. I was happy to see that 'my' disorder was up on the list (hah, well not happy, but surprised), as that one is usually not mentioned as often.

I just want to say a few things for myself and maybe for some other people that might be in the same boat as me.

I don't know why I overeat or snack excessively. I don't believe that I'm depressed and neither does my doctor or my old therapist (I currently do not have one). I eat half bags of chips and then chocolate, and more and more. Stealing by McDonalds or Dairy Queen after my work to grab some ice cream. Sometimes I can say no, but most of the time it's "Oh, this will be the last time, I swear. Then I'll stop and get real." But that next time never comes and the excersize that I planned never happens.

It started around the 5th grade, but I was never really aware what was going on until my freshman or sophomore in high

school. I'm a senior now.

I wish I would take better care of my body, but it's just such a struggle sometimes. I know that weight loss would help my looks on passing in public, making my chest smaller by losing weight, and also by just looking thinner and more fit. But it's so hard, and I think I'm trying to take a hold of something too big for me alone to handle.

I've tried a therapist specifically for eating disorders and I wasn't too keen on it. Maybe I should try another one, but to me, thinking about it disgusts me. It's like I've sunk into this hole and I'm too scared to climb out of it. Talking about it is even worse. I absolutely hate it. But inside I know that's probably the best way to handle it.

I've gone to OA meetings but those made me feel even worse than the therapy. My parents want to help and I know that they'd do anything because they understand my dilemma. But... *shrug* I don't know/want to do anything.

I'm not huge huge or obese in any way (or so I believe). I'm almost 5'8" and weigh 180 pounds. I've got a belly you can see and stretch marks to boot, but that doesn't even stop my hand wandering into the pantry. Well, for those who have skimmed this or read it, thanks. I just want to voice my problem for once - as written above, I haven't really worked on it, or talked about it in depth. So this is the first time I've said my whole story.

Thanks

-Elliot

You have taken the first step in saying you need help. Excellent job! Something to remember is this. If you don't want to make the change, you won't. No matter how much you know you need to. I used to be anorexic, bulimic, and think that now I'm startin to over eat. I didn't always know the reason or reasons why I was not eating, or getting rid of my food. You sound like you are going through a lot. Talking about it is painful and may raise feelings of anxiety, fear, depression, and feelings of that nature. Maybe even others, but talking will help. That I know. You will start procesing things, and start coming to some conclusions. Remember, you aren't alone. Nobody is.

[Sally]

Well from my own experience (I'm a big girl 6'4" and at my worst beyond the 350 mark on the Doctor's scales) the best way to lose weight and keep it off is gradually. Don't try to make a drastic change that you can't continue. Start by eliminating sodas - switch to unsweetened tea or use an artificial sweetener (I like Splenda) - diet soft drinks usually contain about 10 times more sweetener than anyone would put in their tea. Drink more water! Avoid 'all you can eat' buffets - I always considered that a challenge (I know I can eat more than that)! After you are satisfied without sodas, replace your 'snacks' with fruit or just more water. Cut down your portions - when you eat out try to plit an entree with someone or take half home, the average meal out now is over 1200 calories (enough for a day to support 120 pounds). You should lose around 1 and 1/2 to 2 pounds per week. I've managed to drop down to 324 and even lost wieght during the Thanksgiving holiday!

By cutting back slowly, it is easier to maintain and you won't feel deprived. You can do it!

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Donna Jean]

I'm 5'-8" and a few years ago I got as high as 200 lbs. OMG! It was horrid!!!

Well, now I'm a nice 135 lbs..and i LOVE it! These last 5 years I've changed one type of food for another. Now for snacks I have rice cakes, or for a sweetie craving I have no sugar popsickles.

Small portions at meal time...I'd usually drink a big glass of water before a meal and just not that hungry anymore! I chew sugarless gum to cover the need to munch, veggie hot dogs..lots less fat and calories yet still a treat! It's just rewire your brain to a whole new life (boy, we ALL are doing that, hunh?)

So, I can still stuff my face, it's just that there's not much fat or calories there. And there's a secret suprise that you get besides losing weight...SHhhh...don't tell..(you get healthy)

Now, where did I put those white chedder rice cakes..Hmmm.....

Skinny, Donna Jean

[Sally]

Ok, Donna Jean - now you're just bragging! But the water before a meal is a great thing to do, I forgot to mention that one. And if you find yourself at a Mc Donalds (dragged there kicking and screaming against your will) NEVER SUPER SIZE and drink the tea - they have Splenda, Equal and Sweet & Low, take your pick. The Quarter Pounder actually rated as one of the better fast food hamburgers (lower fat and calories than most other brands - the Big Mac is the killer) so the fries are the danger.

Love ya (you too, Skinny),

Sally