A Few Thoughts On Transtioning...

[Guest Rayne]

Most of here are going from one gender to another.

Medical science has come a long way towards helping us, but there are somethings it can't help.

I got good genes for passing. I'm 5'5" - which means small hands, small feet and all my sizes are those of an average woman. I also don't have an adams apple, or lots of body hair. I blend easier. Some women got the prototypical male body. Tall, wide shoulders, large hands and feet along with a protruding adams apple and lots of body hair.

Medical science can change somethings, but they can't change your bone structure. You can get the hair removed - but I don't know about the adams apple.

Here's the opinion part....

Transitioning is more about how I see myself than how others see me. Acceptance by others is important of course, if it weren't I wouldn't work so hard on passing, but if I don't pass to some it's not the end of the world. It's more important that I see myself as a woman physically, and live as a woman. There are women out there that never pass but they're happy anyway because it's all about how they see themselves.

And let's face it, no matter how well we pass, to the people that knew us before we transitioned, there's no getting past that knowledge. I plan to stay in the same job I'm in now when I transition in January. To those people, some of them may always see a man no matter how passable I am. And I'm ok with that because it's not about that to me....it's about how I see myself. Once I start living as a woman, my mind, heart and body will all be in sync.

And isn't that why we're all transitioning?

[Guest Sergei]

I agree with this. Transition shouldn't just be made because of a social decision. It needs to be a personal one as well.

The other thing to remember is that there are also a lot of cisgender people out there who don't always pass as there gender. Many people have told me that in the past they have been mistaken as the opposite gender. lol

[Guest Evan_J]

First a shout out:

Que pasa Sergei? How is it that we are still on the social aspects lol And this time on somebody else's thread .

Now to play the devils advocate (however briefly):

Actually, its not unheard of to have the adams apple shaved in transitioning.

Also, -though EXTREMELY RARE due to it not being the safest medical procedures to undertake- portions of the femur and arm have been removed in mtfs to create more "feminine" skeletons. And conversely, bones broken and steel rods implanted to create height/longer arms/ more masculine frames in ftms.

Slightly scary to consider, but there are people who have done it. While I researching differnt SRS related surgeries I found that one medical facility not too far from where I live actually has broken peeps legs and inserted implants for that reason.

That being said, maybe thats a testimony to the social & prejudicial climate I'm living near more than anything else. Dunno.

I do know that up till now I guess (without really thinking about it) I always took it for granted that if I transitioned I "of course" would do it in stealth. Although, upon giving it thought, I have to acknowledge its just another way of being in a closet. So then it becomes (to an extent) fulfilling the dream of being as close to being born male socially as posible (which is stealth) or living as a free individual and 'hang' what people think but to an extent still feeling all of the stings of being "read" again, and having some of the male status that surgery, legal name change, and sex marker change was undertaken to give me. Cause in a way (and again, this is just me) if the perception of others doesn't matter then I have no reason to do those things in a way. I could just "be it" in my own mind.

Ok, now that I've done the spew I'm gonna go back and reread the good healthy stuff Sergei keeps tryin to teach me about not bein controlled by social groups

Liberal stances and conservative values.....thats how I got here.

[Sakura]

if you transition for any body but your self your transition is probly destined to be doomed transition is far from a decision to be taken lightly and thier are many prices to be paid not all of it is paid with money some is blood sweat and tears your ego and self esteem will get torn down more than a few times so make sure your expectations are realistic and set your goals hi but not so high you cant reach them try and not streach your self beyond your means and do what makes you happy always have a plan a b c d e as many as you can devise cause you may have to fall back on then at some point

because from exsperiance i have found transition is rarly a rock solid game plan is fluid and changes rapidly your mind set before transition i can almost guarentee wont be the mind set you have during transition and the mind set you have during transition wont be the one you have post srs transition changes you as it should if you come out the other side the exact same person you didnt do somthing right its a learning and growing exsperiance

i have heard the fraise " simper gumby" many times in transition what that means is be flexible

as for passing its more important to some than to other for me it is every thing because i dont like the idea of any one knowing im trans once some one knows your trans they stop treating you like a woman and start treating you like a transsexual my only real flaw in my outward appearance is im kinda tallish for a girl 5'11 but i make for a very attractive tall girl which being attractive and trans draws its own problems as well girls take a closer look at me and men really take a closer look at me so then i am under pressure to keep my female composure rock solid as to not blow my cover *sigh* trading one closet for another it can get very tirsome but im happy im not complaining about looking as good as i do

so you have to find what works for you and be as happy as you can with what you are given and if you have the ability to enhance what you are give i say more power to ya

Sakura

[Guest Keira]

Yup, I agree. I started transitioning for my own peace of mind and wellbeing. My goal was simply to reach the point where I could look in the mirror and be happy with what I see. Passing is always a nice bonus, but it has never been my main concern. After all, I have to live with myself 24/7... the general public doesn't.

[Guest Rayne]

Yup, I agree. I started transitioning for my own peace of mind and wellbeing. My goal was simply to reach the point where I could look in the mirror and be happy with what I see. Passing is always a nice bonus, but it has never been my main concern. After all, I have to live with myself 24/7... the general public doesn't.

WELL SPOKEN SIS!!!!!

I could just so HUG you for that!!

[Guest Nelly]

Hi,

I also was wondering why people make so big things about the gender. E.g. if you travel through the world, you must allways give the gender you have if you want to enter a country. I thought this must be visible for all, because man look male and woman look female. But than with the time I found out that some people does not look like their gender. Than it make reason to declare it. But wait, why is it important to know the gender of one person? In some languages, male and female are talking different. e.g. in japan the man use different words than a woman to say the same thing. The rules are based on the gender. I also know this from brazil. So I think that the differences of the gender is important for public.

But in all cases it is equal what you feel. It is only important what you look like. Also the thinking of the people is allways based on what they see. E.g. MTF they see a man how wants to be a woman. But to say it right, it must be a woman how do not want to be a man.

It depends on everybody how much important the opinion is of the world to oneself. If someone is introverted it does not matter. Is someone extroverted, the person need the people around to accept oneself.

For me in my own feelings, I want to change my body. I want to change a part of my social live because i do not like the role of a man. But I do not want to pass perfect and I also thing I do not need the legal paper work to feel like a woman. Sometimes I feel bad that we only devide the problem in male and female and not in more parts.

Greetings

Nelly