Wondering If This Is A Kink During Transition

[Guest Ashley Hun]

I was just wondering. What could really hurt me as far as seeking hormones and/or getting a therapist and a doctor to allow me to undergo surgery? I have heard they are real strict and that if you're not a "stereotype," then they automatically decline. Keep in mind I live in the United States. I've heard they're VERY strict, not to mention there are very few trans-friendly doctors/therapists in this country. I'm what you would call a feminist. I'm not a radical anymore, but I do have some negative views towards gender roles in general and gender segregation. I've heard that some people believe they have to emphasize on certain recollections of their past and on certain feelings they have in order to be "passed on" to the next level of transition. I'm the kind of person that doesn't like being forced to do something just because it's "lady-like." Yes, I would love to be female and have a female body, but I don't want to be forced to be a stereotypical woman that some patriarchs might want want me to be. I swear a lot, sometimes tell dirty jokes, etc. but I consider those just parts of human nature. I don't like it when someone tries to tell me I can't do those things (they're bad habits, I know) but to force people to behave a certain way is just kind of sexist in my opinion... I know plenty of women who swear a lot and say crude jokes. I'm basically just afraid of some quack therapist claiming that I exhibit some "masculine" trait and then deny me of transgender transitional treatments, especially since I have more "feminine" traits.

That being said, I don't exactly hate or dispise my body anymore. I actually see beauty in everything now. I'm not exactly comfortable with my masculine face. It makes me look mean and I look like a short 25 year old basically and I'm only 16! I don't find disgust in it if that makes sense, but it sort of makes me afraid of being stereotyped or treated a certain way just because of my anatomy and facial characteristics. My father also has some profound masculine characteristics that I simply don't want to inherent, so that's another motivator for pursuing my transgender identity. I've always wanted to be the cute, innocent little girl that everyone adored, but I was born with the body of a seemingly mischievious boy. Some teachers in the past mistook me for a bully sometimes just by looking at me... Also I don't like the "male role" in society because they expect you to be mean, dominant, violent, sex-crazed, etc. I just don't like that! I'd rather have a more "feminine role" so I can be allowed to be myself. I'm a nurturing, caring, empathetic person. I have a lot to offer to the world and I don't want some misunderstandings to get in the way.

My feelings ARE legitimate. I have those feelings of being a girl, while also being anatomically male. They can be confusing, but I've gotten used to living with them that I don't experience any emotional pain or depression. The feelings are simply there and I just accept them as something that make me unique. I've also become lax on whether or not people referred to me with pronouns that matched my identification. I just simply have ceased to care because I don't feel as if they are insults or anything that could change my identity anymore. Could that possibly hinder me during transition?

Also an interesting thing about me is that my face hasn't gone beyond any hopes of feminization yet. I can still present an androgynous face if I know how to accent it and wear the right clothes. I've been mistaken for being female several times before simply because my hair was longer, my face was paler and smoother, I wore tight pants, and more of a unisex-style shirt. I miss doing that, but my parents prevent me from presenting myself feminine/androgynous because they don't understand it. Thus, they fear it. They literally have conspiracy theories that homosexuals and transgenders will take over the world, spread AIDS, make everyone "gay", kill all the children, etc. I mean they are so totally wrong for buying into that American conservative propaganda crap. They shouldn't take it out on me because I haven't done anything to hurt anyone.

They're also boycotting McDonalds just because McD's donated $20,000 to the Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce... We got into a huge fight over that today and since when my antidepressants cured me of my depression, I've also become a little more prone to anger and aggression. It's awful and all they do is provoke it. I love my parents and don't want to leave them, but let's just say I can't wait until I'm 18. I only have a year and a few months before then anyway...

Also another question. I recently saw a transsexual woman on a youtube video demonstrate her voice. She practically had a generic young man's voice and a beautiful and distinctly female voice. I was just wondering if you get to keep both voices when going through HRT.

Thanks.

[Guest lisa49]

I have heard they are real strict

Never base decisions on hearsay. Doctors are all different.

[Guest skyy]

wow, i completly sympathise with how you feel. i wanted to get T blocker stuff, but have to be "living in my desired gender". i find this really annoying, because i've never like the petty, social stuff people expect out of girls, but now i'm forced to try to live in drag. its just not my thing, i dont need empty social lies to try to feel feminine. what i am comes from the heart, and so far, i've found no doctor who understands that, they want me to be a steriotype too. i guess the most annoying thing is that i'm a human being with a horrible disorder that has led to depression since middle school, eating issues, desire to hurt myself, and the loss of the ability to feel my emotions at a normal level. i sometimes feel that they really dont care. they want to save me harm that might occure if i cant stand a woman's role in sociaty. what they dont understand is that i couldnt be much worse off, by sheltering me, they've caused me far more harm than they can imagine.

i wish i could help you, but mayby i'm wrong about the whole medical world. a lot of people seem to make it fine, and i live in Redneck country + bible belt. not a good place to be. i hope you can find a sympathetic doctor, who will understand. i really do. but i guess i'm just saying that your fears arent completly unjustified. hate to bring the bad news, but again, it may be better where you live. good luck.

[Guest Rayne]

I was just wondering. What could really hurt me as far as seeking hormones and/or getting a therapist and a doctor to allow me to undergo surgery? I have heard they are real strict and that if you're not a "stereotype," then they automatically decline. Keep in mind I live in the United States. I've heard they're VERY strict, not to mention there are very few trans-friendly doctors/therapists in this country. I'm what you would call a feminist. I'm not a radical anymore, but I do have some negative views towards gender roles in general and gender segregation. I've heard that some people believe they have to emphasize on certain recollections of their past and on certain feelings they have in order to be "passed on" to the next level of transition. I'm the kind of person that doesn't like being forced to do something just because it's "lady-like." Yes, I would love to be female and have a female body, but I don't want to be forced to be a stereotypical woman that some patriarchs might want want me to be. I swear a lot, sometimes tell dirty jokes, etc. but I consider those just parts of human nature. I don't like it when someone tries to tell me I can't do those things (they're bad habits, I know) but to force people to behave a certain way is just kind of sexist in my opinion... I know plenty of women who swear a lot and say crude jokes. I'm basically just afraid of some quack therapist claiming that I exhibit some "masculine" trait and then deny me of transgender transitional treatments, especially since I have more "feminine" traits.

That being said, I don't exactly hate or dispise my body anymore. I actually see beauty in everything now. I'm not exactly comfortable with my masculine face. It makes me look mean and I look like a short 25 year old basically and I'm only 16! I don't find disgust in it if that makes sense, but it sort of makes me afraid of being stereotyped or treated a certain way just because of my anatomy and facial characteristics. My father also has some profound masculine characteristics that I simply don't want to inherent, so that's another motivator for pursuing my transgender identity. I've always wanted to be the cute, innocent little girl that everyone adored, but I was born with the body of a seemingly mischievious boy. Some teachers in the past mistook me for a bully sometimes just by looking at me... Also I don't like the "male role" in society because they expect you to be mean, dominant, violent, sex-crazed, etc. I just don't like that! I'd rather have a more "feminine role" so I can be allowed to be myself. I'm a nurturing, caring, empathetic person. I have a lot to offer to the world and I don't want some misunderstandings to get in the way.

My feelings ARE legitimate. I have those feelings of being a girl, while also being anatomically male. They can be confusing, but I've gotten used to living with them that I don't experience any emotional pain or depression. The feelings are simply there and I just accept them as something that make me unique. I've also become lax on whether or not people referred to me with pronouns that matched my identification. I just simply have ceased to care because I don't feel as if they are insults or anything that could change my identity anymore. Could that possibly hinder me during transition?

Also an interesting thing about me is that my face hasn't gone beyond any hopes of feminization yet. I can still present an androgynous face if I know how to accent it and wear the right clothes. I've been mistaken for being female several times before simply because my hair was longer, my face was paler and smoother, I wore tight pants, and more of a unisex-style shirt. I miss doing that, but my parents prevent me from presenting myself feminine/androgynous because they don't understand it. Thus, they fear it. They literally have conspiracy theories that homosexuals and transgenders will take over the world, spread AIDS, make everyone "gay", kill all the children, etc. I mean they are so totally wrong for buying into that American conservative propaganda crap. They shouldn't take it out on me because I haven't done anything to hurt anyone.

They're also boycotting McDonalds just because McD's donated $20,000 to the Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce... We got into a huge fight over that today and since when my antidepressants cured me of my depression, I've also become a little more prone to anger and aggression. It's awful and all they do is provoke it. I love my parents and don't want to leave them, but let's just say I can't wait until I'm 18. I only have a year and a few months before then anyway...

Also another question. I recently saw a transsexual woman on a youtube video demonstrate her voice. She practically had a generic young man's voice and a beautiful and distinctly female voice. I was just wondering if you get to keep both voices when going through HRT.

Thanks.

In so much as standards are concerned....

Google: WPATH

The standard use to be the "Harry Benjamen International Standards of Care". Or, HBISOC. They've revised it AGAIN and there are new standards under WPATH. World Professionals Assoc. for Transgendered Health.

You don't need any qualifications to start therapy. I forget what the quals are for starting hormones. For implants you need 18 months of hormones and tell your thearpist you aren't happy with the results. For ANY genital surgery (bi-lateral orchidectomy, SRS, etc) you need to live full time for a year.

Your theapist may want to test you using the MMPI (750 true/false) and may use other tests to check your sanity. I went through a whole battery in Lincoln, but not so much here in WY.

You'll need letters of recommendation from your therapist to go forward with surgery.

The standards of surgery are simple. Letters of recommendation...how many and from whom depends upon the surgeon. You have to be able to survive the operation and some make you pay in advance while others have a credit card company working with them.