Pronouns

[Guest Micha]

Huh, I always heard and used "bartender."

Brilliant point though, all throughout language there are gender specific words that are beside the typical he/she nonsense. Funny though that terms such as "policeman" and "fireman" have been replaced with officer and firefighter (as opposed to either policeman or policewoman). Seems the concern is there, just not the awareness.

And talking about the romantic languages where everything has a gender, tha's a whole new can of worms.

[Guest Juniper Blue]

I'm open to any gender pronoun or to gender neutral pronouns. It is kind of fun to see what people choose. On-line, I prefer "He' but off-line, I prefer "She" ... but I really don't care much ... I just offer these as suggestions as it helps to let people know sometimes so that they don't have to ask.

[Guest runner2guy]

Re-reading this thread after nearly a year. Surely, one title which is completely gender-free is "Dr" which anyone can use if they happen to have a doctorate of some sort. This came to my mind recently since I've been seeing many doctors recently, both medical and non-medical, and nearly all have been female. But then, how about surgeons? By tradition they are "Mr", however many doctorates they may have. Does a female surgeon become "Mrs" or "Miss"? I await someone to enlighten me.

A note on Micha's post two posts back from me. In a pub we have to meet with policemen from time to time - rarely, I'm glad to say, and when I've had to refer to lady policemen, I've generally used the word "coppergirl", which is accepted cheerfully enough.

[Guest Lupi]

XD I'm so used to female pronouns I respond to them, but I adore being called male pronouns.

Same here.

[Guest -Tori-]

It doesn't bother me what pronouns people use- I answer to anything!

[Guest aetherlux]

I prefer that people avoid using he/she, him/her, etc when referring to me. I'd rather just be called by name, or "they". But, since I'm quite obviously male it's hard to escape. Thankfully, I'm not brutally male-looking. I've also been contemplating a full name change. I've always wanted to change my last name, but my first name, "Landon", is primarily a boy name. A lot of people tell me they like it, but I've never really been crazy about it. So, maybe with a more androgynous name I might get better results? *shrug*

[tracy_j]

Pronouns? - I think I can live with both male and female - sometimes I prefer male, sometimes female but its somewhat dependant on context and who I am with. I am not keen on 'it' as infers an inanimate object.

[Guest Today]

I'm perfectly fine with she/her/he/him/they. I generally think that the feminine sounds nicer but I have no hard-and-fast preference. I find it hard to keep track of invented pronouns but I'll try to use them for those who like them.

[Guest Alexx86]

I use pretty much any pronoun.

[Guest Charr Lee]

I like and use ze/zir pronouns but i respond to both she/her and he/his pronoun

[Guest Cyd]

I've discovered recently that it feels really, deeply right to be called Sir, He, Him, Bro, Mac, etc. Once I started noticing how good it felt to be read & referred to as male, I realized that being referred to as Ma'am (UGH--this one has yucky age connotations, too), She, Her, Lady, Miss, Doll, Girl, etc., really felt wrong--because I'm not a "girl"; I'm a person on a journey from female to something as-yet-unknown. I'm in the process of changing from my given name & nickname (Cynthia & Cindy) to Cyd--and as I do so, several folks have respectfully asked which pronouns I prefer. It's fascinating, really, how choosing a male-ish / androgynous name alters people's perception of me. I like it.

[Guest ashleynikole]

I know what you mean Cyd. Part of my journey had me realizing that I was not a man and slowly after accepting myself, I find being called sir, he, him, etc is sort of dysphoric. I don't even like introducing myself or being introduced when I'm in boy mode because it just doesn't feel right. I'll be glad when my divorced is finalized because I will begin the name change process the next day.

[Guest]

Still being new to my outing, I haven't even considered this. Only time will tell. However, my wife gave me my female name.

[Guest clearleeraines]

Why some get so upset, your STILL THERE! It doesn't matter, I prefer they, Clear , her. But if someone calls you something other than . . . Say you were not Tran's. Would it bother you then ? NO get over it, people are stupid let's not be stupid too!

[Guest erinanita]

I prefer feminine pronouns but my voice is so deep over the telephone, that I will respond to an occasional "Sir". Only if it has no bearing on my business and I'm not likely to meet the offender. Otherwise, I will correct the person and spell my name for him/her.

Erin could be male or female but Elizabeth is definitely female.

Erin (Thtufus)

[JJ]

When we have first begun to emerge and embrace who we are pronouns seem to become symbols for us.A validation or recognition. They sting and burn or elate. Because of the symbolism and power WE give them and not because of any intrinsic value or the intent of the user except in very rare cases and that is a different case altogether.

We must live in the society we are born into. We can work on spreading knowledge and our view but if we invest in making a massive shift in the binary orientation of our language for instance, as I have sadly seen people do, then we need to accept that it is a battle we are unlikely to win and develop a very thick hide and massive patience as well.

For others who want a pronoun to validate who they are expressing then when it doesn't see it as a message, not of your failure or your lack of worth which we too often do, but as a need to examine the public presentation and make adjustments. There is a lot to learn-we expect ourselves to learn in weeks sometimes what has taken the cis world years and years to learn.

The last time I thought I was mis-pronouned was a year or two ago and after we exited the store I mentioned to my daughter that I was curious about why-what message I sent wrong, and the curious fact that it didn't hurt, only made me wonder where I had mis-stepped. She laughed and pointed out that he had been addressing her and not me when he said Mam because he had not head what I had said but was answering something she had said while making eye contact with her . I realized she was right but was glad it happened because it gave me some insights into how secure I am now about pronouns and my gender presentation along with what had lead me to assume he was addressing me instead of her when he said Mam.

Johnny

[DaHudie Biz]

On Tuesday, August 02, 2011 at 9:21 AM, Guest Micha said:

Just call me wonderful and we be good.

Amen to that one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!