Some type of eating disorder.

[Guest Vince1995]

Okay, that was obnoxious. Almost finished a long post, then accidentally went back a page, and lost everything I wrote.

Anyway.

I am fat. I have cankles, walrus legs, thunder thighs, Santa's belly, and I do believe I have a double chin. Maybe triple. I mean, you can't even see my hip bones unless I lay down. Terrible, the fat swallows me whole.

I don't really know how much I weigh, due to the scale being broken (probably because of my fatness) but, the last time I checked - I was around 122lbs.

My boyfriend and best guy friend are both skinnier then me, and older. That being said, my best guy friend does suffer from anorexia.

I need to be thin.

Girls may have the pressure from models/celebrities to be thin and tooth pick-y, but I have the pressure from all the boys who aren't famous.

I want to be as nice looking as them, look good in what I wear, since I wear tight as skin clothes instead of baggy clothes.

Topic Title?

I really do not know what type of eating disorder I have. I used to say I had bulimia - due to the fact that I forced myself to throw up but, now, I think it is a mixture of both anorexia and bulimia. I hardly eat, small portions and all that junk, and after I do, I usually run to my lovely pencil, shove it down my throat, and spill the evil demonic contents of my stomach.

Oh, and I also use slim fasts.

What does this have to do with Transgenderism? Probably nothing, just wanted to throw this up.

And no, I am not seeing anyone for this, nor will I ever. I don't need help.

I'm perfectly f.i.n.e.

...I hope.

[VickySGV]

If you want to believe you are fine, OK, but you do not speak of yourself that way?? Yes, the body image stuff is and can be related to your GD, so talking to your therapist is a "do it now". For the sake of your health, physical and mental, knock off the idea that either anorexia or bulimia are good things or for any matter OK to have. It doesn't work that way.

To see the full impact of starvation and how it works, get some volunteer work in a hospice for cancer or AIDS patients, in their terminal phase they make the choice of total starvation under medical supervision. Watch as the starvation does a bit more quickly what the cancer or AIDS would do if they were eating. These people do need human companionship as this happens. Learn how strong the doseage of Morhphine has to be to keep them even dignified and marginally comfortable. Watching a death by starvation will impact you enough to see what proper diet and nutrition can do to make your life more meaningful. But don't take my word for it --

Get some help, you need it and deserve it.

[Guest Vince1995]

I do not have a Gender Therapist, or any type of therapist. My mom doesn't accept me enough to let me see one.

I just need to be skinny, I don't know.

It's just...another type of self harm to me.

[VickySGV]

You need to protect your body, no matter what it looks like today, you need to protect it. I have told others that their bodies will be happy and ready to change when the time comes, if they are healthy and are cared for by competent and caring medical professionals and by you their owners. For right now, concentrate on the eating issue, the GD will not go away if you treat that issue. Leave Mom out of the GD talk so she will get you some help. Yes, she will reject what you and I know is the real problem, so let her work with what she can deal with since even that much will help you. If needed talk to your school counselor or health consultant. For now the eating problem is the most important. Don't confuse anyone with the GD just now. If Mom absolutely refuses to get you medical care for the eating problem the people at the school can report it to your county and they can come out and help you out any one of several ways. They may not be the most fun, but you are too important to be put at risk.

[Guest Vince1995]

I dropped out of school about....early of this year.

I don't know, I don't really wanna talk about any sort of problems with her.

My trust in her is gone - diminished.

So, I don't know.

I kinda don't want help, anyway.

The odd part is, she allows me to drink Slim Fasts and even buys me my own.

I don't think she realizes what I'm using it for.

[JenniferB]

Do you want to look like a male when you transition? A lack of protein can stunt your growth. Maybe you would have been 5'6 but will only grow to 5'3. Also if your body doesn't have enough fat to burn it will start to eat your own muscles. You are at the most crucial time to eat and exercise right because your body is still forming. Please don't keep doing something you might regret in the future.

Love

Jenny