Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

The Number One Reply, I'm Not Sure


Guest

Recommended Posts

One of the questions chat moderators ask new chatters in an interview is are you cd, tg, ts, Intersex, androgyne? It's a pretty standard question to ask on a Transgender site. One of the most frequent answers is I'm not sure. Some are confused which is why they are here. This is more normal than you might think. Many start here by saying I'm just TG. That's fine. Most of the information you will need is on the main site to make your decision. The rest is here in people that will support you without judgment. To be absolutely sure we always recommend therapy with a gender therapist http://www.lauras-playground.com/gender_therapists.htm .

Remember that NO ONE HERE is a therapist and cannot diagnose you. We can point you to the right information and dispel some common myths. We are a Community and you are a welcome part of it.

:)

Laura

Link to comment
  • Replies 84
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Mirrabooka

    5

  • Ivy

    4

  • Ashley0616

    4

  • LucyF

    3

Guest SharleahLynn
One of the questions chat moderators ask new chatters in an interview is are you cd, tg, ts, Intersex, androgyne? It's a pretty standard question to ask on a Transgender site. One of the most frequent answers is I'm not sure. Some are confused which is why they are here. This is more normal than you might think. Many start here by saying I'm just TG. That's fine. Most of the information you will need is on the main site to make your decision. The rest is here in people that will support you without judgment. To be absolutely sure we always recommend therapy with a gender therapist http://www.lauras-playground.com/gender_therapists.htm .

Remember that NO ONE HERE is a therapist and cannot diagnose you. We can point you to the right information and dispel some common myths. We are a Community and you are a welcome part of it.

:)

Laura

Oh , I can't resist this one Boss. I always make one diagnosis . It always reads the same, EVERYONE is human :rolleyes:

:) Live Long And Prosper ...... SharleahLynn

Link to comment

The Transgender spectrum is very long and sometimes complicated. Every one here belongs on it somewhere even if it's between groups. That's really not unusual here.

Laura

Link to comment
Guest Michelle/nuckles

im am not new to this topic I been fighting this for over 40 years.

I have struggled with it in my mind that i had convenced myself.

That I was on a diiferant spectrum than the rest of the world.

But gender and orientation are two differant things. My shrink says we All have male and female sectors.

But me im in the middle I teeter either way.

So you cant say Im a t/s or c/d . so were not sure what I am.

so im just as confused as everybody else here just got a theropist to help me sort it out.

the bad thing i live in a countrey that doesnt accept people as they are.

even though it says it in our consitution.

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...
Guest SharleahLynn

What does your heart , mind , and soul tell you ? You take that answer and add it to what the therapist says and you have who you are. None of us carry the magic answer to who we all are, but we do try to get all on the right track. It would be nice if we had all the answers , but that does not exist. That is where the therapists step up and get most of the answers . We all place our trust in these professionals and retrieve the results needed. Live long and prosper......SharleahLynn

Link to comment
  • 3 weeks later...

Not sure what I am sure sums it up! What am I, who am I, why am I...these are all questions I struggle with every single day of my life. I am a very well off, married, father of 2 with a good house, good job, good parents, etc...who just happens to be so confused inside. I am and have always been attracted to transsexuals. I have always wishd I had been born a female. I like some aspects of being a male, I mean, its what I was born with...but for the most part, I think and respond to situations like a female would. I can't stand the way males and their testosterone act some time, it makes me ashamed to be a male. I just associatte with female better as a whole. I just wish I were a female, in all aspects. The only thing is, I'm not attracted to males...I'm not gay. I very, very much am straight...big time. But a beautiful trannsexual is the best of both worlds to me, I absolutely love them. What am i besides crazy in my head?????

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...
Guest SharleahLynn
Not sure what I am sure sums it up! What am I, who am I, why am I...these are all questions I struggle with every single day of my life. I am a very well off, married, father of 2 with a good house, good job, good parents, etc...who just happens to be so confused inside. I am and have always been attracted to transsexuals. I have always wishd I had been born a female. I like some aspects of being a male, I mean, its what I was born with...but for the most part, I think and respond to situations like a female would. I can't stand the way males and their testosterone act some time, it makes me ashamed to be a male. I just associatte with female better as a whole. I just wish I were a female, in all aspects. The only thing is, I'm not attracted to males...I'm not gay. I very, very much am straight...big time. But a beautiful trannsexual is the best of both worlds to me, I absolutely love them. What am i besides crazy in my head?????

I can sum this up for you in just a few words. You are human........None of us govern who we are. The person we are is from genetics. It is of no fault of anyone. We are born the way we are for a reason, we were born to perform a specific mission. To see this mission through , we have to be our real and true selves. Allow no one to cause you to sway from you being you. ....

......Live Long And Prosper.........SharleahLynn

Link to comment
  • 7 months later...
Guest Sheila

i would like to add something about my attraction to women. being a transsexual myself, (mtf). i am still confussed about me being attracted to woman instead of men. i thought i might be a lesbian if or when i ever have SRS. is that what i would be? after going over some of the material on laura's playground i see that a lot of mtf's are attracted to women, so i don't feel so alone or abnormal. every day i wish i had a woman's body. it's almost the only thing i ever think about. it haunts my every waking hour and even in my sleep, i dream i am a woman. although rare, they're the best dreams i ever have.

you're so right sharleahLynn, to reject who we really are inside is to disrupt the mission we're here for. i now realize this and to find true happiness, i'm not happy as a man, i need to chose the path i was hard wired for. i've denied myself all of my life and being miserable for it i decided to do the right thing. already a weight has been lifted from my shoulders and i'm actually happier than i have been for a long time.

sheila :D

Link to comment
  • 2 months later...
Guest CharliTo

I guess I wanted to add that even if you don't want SRS, or worried about whether you're attracted to girls or boys...we're all different and NOTHING is wrong with that.

Like what I was once told, "There are many different people in this world, just like the different leaves on the tree." :)

Link to comment
  • 2 months later...

What am I? I guess if I could answer that I would "count myself a king(?) of infinite space, though bounded by a nutshell." Sadly- I can't- and I'm working to figure out if I am a transexual with particularly advanced adapative skills- or someone with just a hell of alot of feminine engergy. I know that I'm not happy, and have never been happy with myself- and this is key- when it comes to matters of gender and sex. In other areas- I'm very confident. Over the last year, I've come to the conclusion that if I was younger and had access to all kinds of information and support- I would have tried to transition M2F....but being a product of my era and the like- I instead buried the trauma and found ways of getting around those problems. But getting around isn't solving them, and now I'm trying to face them. Any advice out there about how to deal with this issue? I'd be grateful for any input.

Thanks - Morag

Link to comment
  • 4 weeks later...
Guest Amanda L Richards

I was confused for a very long time and didn't know what I was. I used to just say I was cursed or that I got cheated out of what I should have been at birth, a genetic woman. Now that I am here with what I have I had to deal with it and for a long time I didn't.

I hated myself, I thought I was ugly. My body physically was nither male nor female distinctively. As a male, I didn't have the taught muscles that one has despite how hard I worked at trying to develop them. I just ended up hurting myself through strain. I was always a little fleshy in parts of my body that if developed would have been female.

Even though I had male parts and appearance I had fleshier hips and bottom and more on the breast side as well. This confused me for a long time.

To make matters worse as a teen I was attracted to girls but soon started to notice that I had a significant attraction to men as well. After pondering all this at 20 The "I am cursed" became a mantra which stayed for many years to come.

I found that the definitions that the psychological profession uses merely for convenience of identifying, confused me even more.

Finally I had to come to grips with the force in my life that was now bringing my whole life to a screeching halt becasue I wasn't addressing these issues. I was hiding them. When I went back to reponder them again the intense confusion came over me and I was becoming depressed about life in general.

In the end I had to sit down and think, What are the facts here? First I like dressing like a woman, I like to be like one, I wanted to be one, and secondly I am attracted to men .

Even now I am trying not to settle on labels so I just accept myself as being attracted to men and in the capacity as a woman. This is a feeling of complete fulfillment.

Maybe we all just have to look at "ourselves" alone and say what DO I LIKE OR WHAT MAKES ME FEEL WHOLE? without someone elses opinion or influence. I we see ourselves in the light of our own vision, then maybe our own individual truth reveals itself.

I guess there is something said about listen to your Heart

Link to comment

Well you've heard all about how everyone is different and we are all human and that is very true, but we all feel a need to be 'just like everybody else'. The truth is that no one is 'just like everybody else', because everybody else is different.

Look at life through the eyes of a very wise old Indian (Native American now, but not when he said this). "I'm glad that everyone likes different things." When asked why his response was, "If everyone liked the same things they would all want my squaw!"

Be glad that we are all different and enjoy the differences! As to labels and what I am, I laike the label Sally!

Good luck to everyone and all of my love to this whole crazy world - we might not be able to make sense of it, but it's all we've got! :lol:

In my own personal catagory,

Sally

Link to comment
  • 3 weeks later...

When I signed on at Laura's I gave my bio, etc. Thought the moderator would sign me up as C.D.,but Gender Selection came up androgyne. It kind of surprised me, but then I thought what the "hay" Sounded kind of intriguing and mysterious,,,,,,,,,,"Just Like A Woman." Mia

Link to comment
  • 8 months later...
Guest 2xbonnie

Hello all, I am so glad to come over to this site. I agree totally with all that is being said and supported here. I'm just starting this acceptance of myself and I want to feel good about it. I don't have an exact explanation of what I am but I know I am a good person. Bonnie

Link to comment
  • 2 months later...
Guest Jennifer T

I've been asking myself that question most of my life!!

Inside, in my heart, I am a woman.

In my first conselling session with my therapist, I cannot tell you how good it felt to express that. We talked as two women. And I left there that day feeling more real than I have in a long, long time.

Link to comment
  • 3 months later...
Guest RachaelAnn

I wasn't sure what to pick when I signed up. I was debating between female and transgendered. The reason is because the only part of me that is not female is my genitalia. Every other part, both physical and mental, has always been female. But I haven't had the opportunity to speak to my psychiatrist (long story) yet so I just set it on transgendered. Ever since I can remember, even as a tiny child, I have thought either god made a mistake, or something went horibly wrong in the womb, and I should have been born fully female. Not just 90% female.

Just out of curiosity in my shoes what would some of you have picked?

Rachael

Link to comment
Guest scooby

i cant remember what category i put myself in-but i think i come up as Androgyne

i dont think this is exactly right-but-ive actually given up looking for the "right" label-

ive decided to be just me!

personnally-when i finally accepted myself-i found that im not worried about who i am attracted to-it could be men/woman/someone like me-

it dont matter!

i think aswell that sometimes we worry about what others might think-again-[for me]-i stopped worrying about this when i accepted myself!

Scooby x

Link to comment
  • 1 month later...
Guest miss kindheart

I think it is ok to be unsure about your gender.

I try and think of gender as a spectrum, you have Adam on one end and Eve the other, and everyone since then is some where in-between, no two are in the same place.

Just try and be happy being who you are, and it is OK to move about.

Try not be jealous of where others are, cause you don't know how their life really is :)

:wub: vanna

Link to comment
  • 2 months later...
Guest Melisiris

I never was a girly-girl, liked to climb trees and such, my hair was short and people called me little boy when they did not know me, but I turned out to be small and petite, well formed curves and such, objectively speaking it is a beautiful body but just not me. There's no way that this überfeminine body can be turned into a acceptable male version(i would look like an 11 year old boy). So i rather leave it as it is though my boobs are too big. And anyway as a man i would be a bisexual very effeminate one. So i guess i am doomed to be inbetween.

Link to comment
  • 2 months later...

One of the questions chat moderators ask new chatters in an interview is are you cd, tg, ts, Intersex, androgyne? It's a pretty standard question to ask on a Transgender site. One of the most frequent answers is I'm not sure. Some are confused which is why they are here. This is more normal than you might think. Many start here by saying I'm just TG. That's fine. Most of the information you will need is on the main site to make your decision. The rest is here in people that will support you without judgment. To be absolutely sure we always recommend therapy with a gender therapist <a href="http://www.lauras-playground.com/gender_therapists.htm" target="_blank"><a href="http://www.lauras-playground.com/gender_therapists.htm" target="_blank"><a href="http://www.lauras-playground.com/gender_therapists.htm" target="_blank"><a href="http://www.lauras-playground.com/gender_therapists.htm" target="_blank">http://www.lauras-playground.com/gender_therapists.htm</a></a></a></a> .

Remember that NO ONE HERE is a therapist and cannot diagnose you. We can point you to the right information and dispel some common myths. We are a Community and you are a welcome part of it.

:)

Laura

You're right the only person or persons that can diagnose you is qualified therapist not us you gave a well placed answer I hope no one take offense to this answer you are just giving them the fact and are not trying force an opinion on them.

Larry

Link to comment

I know what you mean I did things that made think I was a guy with a chip or a two by four on his shoulder then I met Charlene we were friends for two years then after her transition I started really to like her. Now come the part that make me like you. Charlene left me for awhile to be with someone else. I was numb, loving fool and angry madman at the other person. I was so much in love with Charlene I let her go because she was unhappy and if I could not make her happy I had to let her find happiness. I had to really investigate myself and my sexuality. I had to face the fact I was in a way bisexual and want to believe I was anything but a man. I had to face reality which choose not to face and it hurt my relationship. You had the courage to see something in yourself early and that make proud I read the post it tell me some people can face their problems without causing harm to others or themselves.

Larry

Thank you for making me see I need to learn somethings more.

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...
Guest ErinPrice

I didn't know what to pick because I didn't have a clue what all those abbreviations even meant. I understand FTM and MTF, I guess, but what does FT? mean? What's the difference between transgender, transsexual, crossdresser and androgyne? A glossary would be helpful :)

People are always telling me that we shouldn't try to label ourselves - but sometimes it's comforting to have some sort of label, even though it is just to simplify something far more complicated.

Link to comment
Guest Jean Davis

I didn't know what to pick because I didn't have a clue what all those abbreviations even meant. I understand FTM and MTF, I guess, but what does FT? mean? What's the difference between transgender, transsexual, crossdresser and androgyne? A glossary would be helpful :)

People are always telling me that we shouldn't try to label ourselves - but sometimes it's comforting to have some sort of label, even though it is just to simplify something far more complicated.

Here you go honey. http://www.lauras-playground.com/transgender_terminology.htm

Your wish has been heard. :lol:

Also FT? or MT? is for those who haven't found a title that they are comfortable with yet, but as you said we shouldn't try to label ourselves and it's not really that important. ;) But it sure does help with using the correct pronouns. :lol:

LUV

Jean

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   4 Members, 0 Anonymous, 141 Guests (See full list)

    • Wicked juggalo
    • Asher the Enby Goddex
    • Petra Jane
    • MaeBe
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.3k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,024
    • Most Online
      8,356

    JamesyGreen
    Newest Member
    JamesyGreen
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Dillon
      Dillon
    2. Kaylee888
      Kaylee888
    3. lily100
      lily100
      (39 years old)
    4. Luce
      Luce
      (44 years old)
    5. Luke.S
      Luke.S
  • Posts

    • MaeBe
      Two words(?): Project 2025   Please provide links to the "political calculus" referred to, I'd be interested to know where this is coming from. It seems odd that anyone would be advocating to vote in a President that has stated that he will try to use the federal government to go after LGBTQ+ people because voting back Biden, that is not doing that, might cause some state legislatures to put forth more discriminatory laws.   LGBTQ+ people are not safe in a MAGA future.
    • Ashley0616
      It's awesome that you have had such a great friend in your life! I could only imagine what losing felt like to you. It's neat that you worked for the airlines. Did you take advantage of the space availability fights? My dad worked for Northwest and always flew every single summer except one where we drove from north Mississippi to Phoenix, AZ. My parents agreed to never do that again lol. 
    • Ashley0616
      The trans community won't be good under Trump at all. Biden is the one who has done more for the trans community than any other presidents. Last time Trump was in office he was at an LGBTQ rally and his support went quickly away from us because the majority of the voters are anti trans. He is going to get rid of our rights and also come after the rest of LGBTQ.  I don't know where you heard we would be better under Trump.    Trump unveils sweeping attack on trans rights ahead of 2024 (axios.com)   Trump Promises to Go After Trans People if Re-Elected (vice.com)   Trump promises to ban transgender women from sports if re-elected (nbcnews.com)
    • Sally Stone
      Post 7 “The Pittsburgh Years” When I retired from the Army, we moved to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania because I had been hired by US Airways to work in their flight training department.  The transition to civilian life was a bit of an adjustment, but I never really looked back.  At the same time, I was excited at the prospect of having more Sally time. But with work and two teenage boys in the house, getting to be Sally was a challenge.    The biggest issue in this regard were my sons, as they didn’t know about my feminine side.  My wife and I discussed, in great detail, whether or not to tell them.  If they had known about Sally, it would have been much easier to actually be Sally when I wanted to.  But I still didn’t know exactly where my transgender journey was going to take me, and this uncertainty was the primary reason my wife and I decided it wasn’t the right time to tell them about Sally.  Except for the convenience it would afford me, we didn’t think it was fair to burdened them with such a sensitive family secret if it wasn’t absolutely necessary.  If at some point things changed and it looked like I might be heading towards transition, my wife and I agreed we would revisit our decision.   Despite having to tiptoe around the boys I was able, with my wife often running interference for me, to significantly increase my girl time.  The nature of my variable work schedule meant that often days off occurred during the week when the boys were in school, and on those days, I took full advantage of the time.  Additionally, I had discovered a new trans friend through a local support group, and my wife, ever and always accommodating, ensured I had time for outings with my new friend.    Willa, my new friend, quickly became my best friend, and after only a short time, she and my wife became quite close as well.  With Willa’s help, I would soon discover that Pittsburgh was a very trans friendly city.  Together, she and I made the town our own.  We attended the theater, the symphony, we went out to dinner regularly, and I think we visited every museum in the city.  With Willa’s support and friendship, I was actually becoming quite the girl about town.    Willa and I had a lot in common.  We loved to shop, we had similar feminine styles, and we had similar views and feelings about being trans.  In fact, our frequent and deep discussions about transgender issues helped me begin to understand my transgender nature.  Having Willa as a springboard for all topics transgender, was probably as effective as regularly visiting a therapist.  I would never discount anyone’s desire to seek professional help, but having an unbiased confidant, can also be an effective method for self-discovery.    Exploring the city as Sally and spending time with Willa was instrumental in helping me understand my transgender nature, and would begin shaping my transgender objective.  My feelings about the kind of girl I was and where I wanted to go began to solidify.  Being out and socializing as Sally in a big city like Pittsburgh, taught me I could express my femininity without issue.  I honestly felt confident I could live my life as a woman; however, remaining completely objective, I just couldn’t see giving up the life I’d built as a man.   At that time, I was being heavily influenced by the concept of the gender binary, which had me thinking I had to choose between being a man or being a woman.  It was Willa who reminded me there were no rules requiring gender identity to be binary.  During one of our deep discussions, she posited the idea of enjoying both genders, something she was doing, and a concept that made a lot of sense to me.  I was already living the life of a part-time woman, so I simply started paying more attention to how that was making me feel.    One characteristic that was dominating my feminine self-expression (and it continues to this day) was that when I was Sally, I was “all in.”  When I became Sally, it was such a complete transformation that I truly felt like a woman.  The feeling was powerful, and if I had to describe it another way, I’d say it was akin to an actor, so into the part, they actually become the character they are portraying.  That was me, and I discovered that this level of depth was extremely fulfilling, and that feeling tended to last long after transitioning back to my male persona.  Part-time womanhood it seemed, was actually working for me.    Eventually, a job change forced me to move away from Pittsburgh, but the enlightenment I experienced while living there has shaped the nature of my bi-gender personality to this day.  Even after leaving, Willa and I remained the best of friends.  We had many more adventures, some of which I will detail in later posts.  Sadly, Willa passed away two-years ago after contracting a prolonged illness.  Her loss was hard to take and I miss her dearly.  However, I have so many fond memories of our times together, and because her support helped shape me, she lives on in my heart.   Hugs,   Sally
    • missyjo
      thank you dear. I'm constantly working at adjusting n writing off other people's judgment or input.   thank you n good luck
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Them's fighting words, but I intend to discuss this respectfully, calmly and so forth, in accordance with the forum rules.   Considering the one issue below in isolation:   There is a political calculus that trans folk may be better off under Trump than under Biden.  The argument goes that Biden has created such a backlash by moving so far to the left that red states, in particular, are reacting with a swarm of laws that negatively impact trans folk.  Some of his actions strike many people as clumsily forcing unwanted regulation on people, and some of his appointments, such as the luggage stealing bigender individual, have not helped advance trans folk but rather the reverse.  In a second term Biden would make things worse for trans folk because of the backlash and resentment his policies would create.    Trump likely would have negative impacts to trans folk, as he did in his first term with respect to the military, so it is a set of tradeoffs as to which is worse.   Thoughts?
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Can you dress androgynously? 
    • Ashley0616
    • Abigail Genevieve
      There are trans folk who pass better than some cis people.  People usually aren't on the lookout for those who are cross dressed.  As long as there are no multiple screaming signals and you don't draw attention to yourself you can probably pass better than you think. For example, if you walk into a bank in heels, however, and you DON'T know how to walk in heels, you will attract the attention of a security guard, especially if you are acting nervous. If you wear flats and just go to the bank and do your business like anyone else, it is likely no one will notice, except that there was a customer who was taller than most women are, but then there are tall women, and tall, broad shouldered woman.  I made the mistake years ago of thinking I had outed such, and knew she was a he.  Later I learned she had five kids, and her husband was bigger than she was.  Ooops.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I don't know much about CNAs.  They report to an RN, right?  Can you somehow bring this up to the RN in a way that does not get your CNA mad at you? I'm not saying you should, but maybe that is a good course of action.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      This is the thing.  A month ago tomorrow is when I stopped wearing m clothing.  Today I feel great.  I do not have dysphoria when I am dressed as and I move as a woman.  I was just thinking about that because I was wondering if I would or will get hit with a wave of "you don't have dysphoria so you might as well dress like a guy. Less hassle with your wife."  Not that she is aware, to my knowledge, that these androgynous clothes are women's.  No desire to "flip", no feeling of need to, just happy identifying as female.  Speaking, in my deep guy voice, with female voice patterns, doing the feminine gestures that come naturally and without exaggeration and at peace.
    • Birdie
      Yes, my brother was born lactating due to absorbing hormones from my mum.    Of course she isn't a nurse, she is a CNA. She should however still have general medical knowledge.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I agree.  But sometimes unethical conduct must still be legal, because the cure would be worse than the disease.  One problem we have today with the internet is the trolls can gang up on someone and destroy them - we see the with school bullying as well.   He was in the Southern Baptist Convention, and maybe he should have moved his church over to say the American Baptists, who might have been able to help him. A Southern Baptist pastor is king in his church, peerless, which means he could not have gone for help in his church.  And he could not have gone for help from any other pastor in the SBC because they likely affirm the SBC statements on these matters.  I think he was stuck.    I read this when it came out in the news.  Very sad situation.  
    • Carolyn Marie
      One organization that I know of that is dedicated to assisting LGBT seniors is SAGE.  They advocate for, and have services for, all LGBT folks, not just trans folk.  You can find their website Here.  I am not sure what, if anything, they have in terms of financial assistance.  I'll let you know if I find anything else.   Carolyn Marie
    • Davie
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...