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The Number One Reply, I'm Not Sure


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Guest sheriluv

I was always small as a child whith effeminate features. The boys were too rough, and I enjoyed playing with the girls. They would dress me up, and I looked like a girl. I never had body hair when all the boys were getting it, and I was ashamed to shower at gym because boys would laugh and pick on me. I got along quite well with the girls bcause they thought I was so petitemand they loved to play dressup, and doll my up very nice. I loved it,but pretended i didnt. I didnt like boys or thier rough games

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Guest Lindsey_Elaine

Hello Everyone!

My name is ( Legally ) Lindsey Wylde. I said goodbye to Robert 2 years ago! I have known that i was TG since, WOW 3 or 4 years old. I have Transitioned and De-Transitioned more than once. Mainly due to financial reasons. However, at this point i am completely fed up with fighting this anymore.

I have come out to just about everyone, up to and including Family and with some dire results. Sisters, Aunts, Uncles, Nephews, Nieces and cousins?? Yep, all gone. The family members left standing are my Mom n Step Dad. They aren't completely understanding but they try. They just don't "get it" and to me that's ok. I can still call them and see them whenever i want and they actually care about me.

I am pretty much okay with a lot of the "TG Stuff" however, i am still dealing with Self Acceptance! Weird? I know! I live in a super small town in Southern Washington State and it's the land of Gun Racks n Six Packs... Yet, i still go out dressed how i feel. Honestly, i couldn't pass for a women in a dark alley without street lights. But! All Genetic Women aren't all Vogue Covers either!! I am just a girl with a little extra sprinkling of glitter***

I have a truly wonderful partner, and she knows literally every single thing about me. And she see's me for the woman I am and doesn't see the as she calls it " extra boy stuff!" Ya, she is amazing :) I suppose her and i were destined to meet somewhere somehow within the first week of dating i told her about me being trans and then i waited for the freak out or the walk away NOPE! Without missing a beat she looked at me and asked if i had ever taken HORMONES!! WHAT? HUH? WOOOOWWWW!!

She had apparently a year earlier had done a long study on TransGender and Gender in "General" so she knew all the info! ya, amazing.

Well, this is turning into a super long post so i shall take my leave.

Thank you for reading and for all the support

With Love n Blessings,

Lindsey Elaine Wylde

I

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Guest Darcie

Hi Laura,

I've just getting started here and learning the ropes. I posed an intro recently but really didn't go into much detail and decided I should have after reading some others here. I've already written a bio for my private MySpace page and thought it might do for a better bio. However, it might be too long. So, per instructions, I'm offering it here to you first for any editing you think might be appropriate. Feel free to delete any of it that might be too much. (I have a bad habit of saying too much). Thanks for a fantastic site and all you do to keep it going for the transgender community. —Darcie

Please to offer a little introduction... I'm a business owner, semi-active pianist/composer, sailor and recreational pilot. I'm creative, energetic, bi-lingual (English/French) and very much enjoy cooking, entertaining, stimulating conversation, comedy and adventures on land, sea and air. I'm also a MtF pre-op transexual. I feel blessed to bear the psychology, sexuality and presentation of both male and female identities but remain conflicted with not being able to fully live and express my feminine identity. While I'm grateful for my masculine qualities and the good parts they've brought my life, the feminine is my most natural, most at home state and now deeply longs for full expression. I'm presently seeing a very well respected gender therapist in preparation for full transition. I hope to be approved for HRT soon. Blessings and tender hugs to all. —Darcie

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Guest lilygirl2

I am a young male who has been struggling with transgender issue for a long time. But I recently mite someone is very supporitive of my crossdressing. But I'm afaird it is more then that but I am to ashamed to admit it. I don't now how to get past the shame and embrassment. I know that it is just me but I don't want to wait till its to late

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Guest LoboValiente

I wasn't sure what to put down as i just choose one that seemed okay. Who knows maybe I'll get my answers when i see a therapist. To tell the truth I wasn't sure of even signing up for this site. I was scared and really didnt like the idea of postingmy feeling on the interenet. But now i feel happen that i did because i have people who i can support and be supported by no labels required.

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Guest cynthash

Hi there! My name is Cynthia(well, not legally yet, but that unfortunate circumstance will change); I'm a 22 year old mtf in the first phase of transition(literally, I look more like a feminized guyXP). I have a background of fanatical religiosity, and a family of more-or-less mainstream Christians(still unaccepting). But I used to joke around about calling myself the "Glitter Girl" and stuff like that, so I've... had issues with this in the past. I began this journey in March of this year, when I realized I wasn't just joking around about girly stuff, I am a girl inside. I always liked the name Cynthia, and thought that if I ever had a daughter, I would call her that, but then I realized that I am Cynthia! I'm not terribly knowledgeable, and I tend to come up with really random stuff, so expect to find me in the process of: a) not paying attention B) jumping into a conversation with a really n00bish comment, etc. Also, if anyone needs a friend in Winnipeg, please contact me!

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Guest Secretsindy

I was confused for a very long time and didn't know what I was. I used to just say I was cursed or that I got cheated out of what I should have been at birth, a genetic woman. Now that I am here with what I have I had to deal with it and for a long time I didn't.

I hated myself, I thought I was ugly. My body physically was nither male nor female distinctively. As a male, I didn't have the taught muscles that one has despite how hard I worked at trying to develop them. I just ended up hurting myself through strain. I was always a little fleshy in parts of my body that if developed would have been female.

Even though I had male parts and appearance I had fleshier hips and bottom and more on the breast side as well. This confused me for a long time.

To make matters worse as a teen I was attracted to girls but soon started to notice that I had a significant attraction to men as well. After pondering all this at 20 The "I am cursed" became a mantra which stayed for many years to come.

I found that the definitions that the psychological profession uses merely for convenience of identifying, confused me even more.

Finally I had to come to grips with the force in my life that was now bringing my whole life to a screeching halt becasue I wasn't addressing these issues. I was hiding them. When I went back to reponder them again the intense confusion came over me and I was becoming depressed about life in general.

In the end I had to sit down and think, What are the facts here? First I like dressing like a woman, I like to be like one, I wanted to be one, and secondly I am attracted to men .

Even now I am trying not to settle on labels so I just accept myself as being attracted to men and in the capacity as a woman. This is a feeling of complete fulfillment.

Maybe we all just have to look at "ourselves" alone and say what DO I LIKE OR WHAT MAKES ME FEEL WHOLE? without someone elses opinion or influence. I we see ourselves in the light of our own vision, then maybe our own individual truth reveals itself.

I guess there is something said about listen to your Heart

I truly understand what you just posted,I always cliqued with the guys and many girls took me as being non aggressive and some thought I was queer,that word haunted until one day,I am different,I am who I am,I am not some handsome stud,the ladies always referred to me a sweetie or elder women understood my feminine disposition better than myself

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Guest Cayla Michelle

I don't think I was ever unsure. I am not saying there was never doubt. I am just saying I always knew I am a female.

What makes me angry is doctors are gready. They do not want to argue, and if you want their pills they will give them to you freely even if they do little, aand they learn proceders that are unthinkable in terms of the results on all humans that are worse than the diseases it was ued, but no treatments once they have ben aproved have ever been band.

I thoght I heard voices for years, and if doctors I went to had confronted me on the belief that I had heard sounds other than words and called them voices they would have refused to give me a scrip. I have been off anti-psychotics for nearly a month and I do not hear voices, and they do not go away on their own.

I have been off my anti-deppressent for they same mount of time, and I don't feel sad ever. I feel just as frustrated.

If I had made up my mind and acted, I would have gone further than I have. That is why e have to listen to ourselves, talk to therapist trained in self discovery, and do the other things.

I knew it. I just didn't always believe it; thought it was to good to be true.

Cayla

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Guest Ravyn

When I was young I dressed as a girl whenever I could get access to my sisters clothes. I was never comfortable around guys and preferred the company, laughter, closeness, comfort and activities of girls. As I grew older I tried everything I could to suppress my female mind. I became promiscuous with women (that passed), got married, divorced, and married again with (now grown) children. Even grew a beard lol. But I still found myself wanting to be with women, doing what they do, and being one, and I found life as a male to be unfullfilling and eventually unacceptable. What am I? For years I thought I was a two-spirit but my female side is no longer tolerant of male things. My GT is helping me work through this, but my heart tells me I'm mtf.

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Guest c.nikki.c1

I like the idea of gender as a spectrum. I currently list myself a transgender but that might change as I learn along this journey. I guess the main thing I don't want is being a round peg in a world of someone else's square holes.

Cath

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Guest DavinaG

I really feel that these labels we caregorize ourselves in do more to fragment our group than bring us together and legitmize who and how we are to the rest of society. If sexuallity can be a continuum from straight to gay then gender should be treated the same way, where we are all mentally somewhere between a man and a woman. Whether the label is TG, TS, CD, intersex, androgenous, or otherwise we are all brothers, sisters, or both and the goal is to help each other be ourselves whatever that may be. Stealing a word from JessicaWho, I am "genderific" and must be comfortable with who I am. Once we figure that one out the hard part starts, what are we going to do about it? This is where I feel we need each other regardless of labels.

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I dont really know what to say to start.. Sometimes I can blab on for a time but sometimes i cant think of what to say, like now.

Even when i might seem miserable i have a sense of humor that kicks in sometimes, but its not crude or rude or anything like that.

Of course, I am new here, and this is the place to introduce myself.

I'm a 48 yr old FTM mid-op TS. Used to go to a TS/TG chat place online since 1999, but they closed down, as things go sometimes, so was browsing around and found this again. Pretty sure I had looked at Laura's site at different times over the years when looking for info for me or others.

Started T in 95, had 2 surgeries in 97, and another in i think 2001? I think it was. Still not what you'd call "done" although some might call it done, I don't.

Everything I work and build myself up for, the endless game of shutes and ladders, jumping thru hoops, over and around and through obstacles as they apear... I can not say I have not done anything nor accomlished nothing, I have accomplished the impossible more than once; but just the same I end up feeling stuck at some point, until i somehow find a way to jump higher than the Himlayas to find I've landed in with whirlpool at Niagra, having to fight out of that and go upstream past the falls, to..who knows what. again. and then we go through door number 748, to see. But I'm just stuck this time. cant figure out anything, no one else seems to be able to figure out anything better than i can at this point, just stuck and time keeps slipping by, and i should have done all this when i was a kid but couldnt..

Guess that is where i am at now, if it made any sense to anyone. Maybe you've been there yourself.

--dan

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Guest KrisJoy

Let's see:

I'm mature. A baby boomer.

A veteran.

A scientist.

I'm pretty sure I'm a DES son.

I've dressed forever.

I've been to psychiatrists for analysis.

I was treated for depression after my second divorce and later had a gov't job.

Didn't want the Russians able to blackmail me so I filled out the clearance forms truthfully.

Because of my bit of depression and my cross dressing DOD required I be tested and counseled annually.

Enjoyed that.

I was certifiably sane in a crazy world at a crazy time.

Have no problem with autogynophile. Loving women so much you want to be one seems romantic somehow. So, label me that. I've been called much worse. It only hurts when it's someone I loved who delivers the invective.

At times it seems to me that the trans world may be the most reviled. Besides the usual jerks I'm used to the G and L taking swipes and I'm sure if I keep my gonads I'll still have darts from some 'true' transexuals. Pardon me, I'm the hand the cards dealt and I'm not ashamed of myself.

A father. I am primarily in the closet so as not to embarrass/confuse/give them another reason to roll their eyes - the kids.

All those close to me, and the grown up kids, know or find out my secret.

Sometimes that has been unpleasant. My father. Wow.

But, I think most of my circle has taken it in stride. Not too important in the grand scheme of things.

We have one child left in high school.

The plan is that I will 'come out' after he graduates which coincides with retirement. 'Out' is to dress in public places where he might be and lounge the pool in a two piece. Really want those tan lines as my skin begins to wrinkle. Write a book. Why not?

New life and we're talking new digs.

Unsure if my wife will accompany me. Hope so. But, while she has been kind, given me lots of privacy, shares jewelry, puts away my things if I forget to, and doesn't ask when I'm gone for weeks with suitcases of femme garb, she has never embraced that part of me. Can't understand dresses on anybody.

I'm a cancer survivor.

Cancer is liberating in many ways. It helps you to prioritize. Desiring feminization goes to the top of the list.

It's been two years since prostate cancer treatments ended and the PSA is remaining low. Yay!!

Treatment was androgen deprivation and radiation.

The hormone was Lupron which stopped all androgen production and made me feel like the living dead for nearly two years. Three fourths of me was missing; my gender identity, my gender preference, my gender behavior. All I had was my birth gender which I've never been too happy about.

I even purged under the influence, first time in 25 years, which is costing me a lot of money that I doubt insurance would be sympathetic about.

In hind sight I should have insisted upon concurrent estrogen which would have started my transition, under radiation, and also given the x-rays some more cells going through mitosis to kill. Might have been able to persuade the team. Suspect there will be other TG folk who will be faced with PCa treatment choices. If they have avoided HRT PCa could be an opportunity to get a dream underway. A cloud with a real lining? I'm sure the NIH says it needs research (money) but, in any event, we should tell our urologists what we most want, heart of hearts kind of thing. It was a mistake that I did not share that with him at that time.

As the Lupron wore off I started dieting like crazy. Want to get back to a size 10. Loosing weight and feeling great. Also, there were gynocomastic breasts that really started to stand out. They haven't gone away with the rest of the fat. Wearing a farmer john when I swim. Great also means I have never felt the desire to 'dress' more strongly.

Upon consultation and some more blood tests the working theory is that fat is turned into T via aromatase, and T can go to dihydro T by 5 alpha reductase or to estradiol (E2) also by aromatase. Maybe the flood of T from dieting was going more to E2 than 'normal'. Radiation? DES? Who cares? Yay, again!!

With a sympathetic endo for consultation (not presciption, oh well) and lots of blood work, I've begun using transdermal estradiol with spiro. I want to have finasteride as well as it will specifically block the 5aR but not now. I'm going to go until TGiving then taper off so as to determine where the PSA levels are when the dosed E2 and spiro are gone. Looking for a very happy New Year and back to HRT; maybe some laser and maybe some surgery. More friends, more adventures. Different sort of retirement, I guess.

Maybe one more technical paper:

HRT for MTF TS Following PCa.

I'm a geek. That's the final description.

Live, love, laugh, and be happy

Kris

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Guest Jack_457

I'm still unsure as to where i fit, though i am constantly learning more about myself.. the more i talk, confide in friends.. the easier it gets :)

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Guest Lenore

I wasn't entirely sure what to put down either, so I just put how I felt. Add in the fact that I registered at 2:30am and was half asleep, a lot of the choices didn't make much sense. Physically I've always felt like I was stuck right in the middle, and mentally I knew who I was, even if I had to hide it. But despite my certainty, I'm still not entirely sure. I'm hoping to find the answer to that question and many more soon.

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Guest MaxBlazer25

Hello. I am 19 years young and was born male. My parents first caught me in women's clothing when I was ten years old. I always felt out of place with my peers. The other boys call me gay and all sorts of other names. My parents don't accept me for who I am and haven't since I was 10.

My father is a retired marine corps drill sergeant, and my mother is a very devout christian church goer who is very "embarrassed of how I turned out". Mom drinks a lot now and it is because of me and my differences. I can't talk to anyone or ever dress or act how I feel.

I don't know what to do anymore and recently have been wanting to just give up. I tried ignoring the feeling and be like a man. I tried growing a beard but I just feel weird. I hate living this way. I want to transition but I don't think I will ever be able to. My family would hate me more than they already despise me, the people at my job would shun me and I fear I may get fired, and I would be out on the street and have nowhere to live. Everything would fall apart. I'm not sure which would be worse; dying on the streets alone and as a girl, or living as a man and hating myself with the conditional support of people who don't want to see what is right in front of them.

I'm not sure who I am, or what you would call my disposition. Ever since I was young I felt as though my life would be better and I would be happier if I had been born a girl.

I need help.

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Guest crocsrule4

I'm new here and not sure how to label how I feel. I was born male but have felt female my whole life. I think with my heart and have always been

very emotional. If I tried to describe myself I would say I believe I am 60% female and 40% male.

I am also bipolar so what side feels dominant changes constantly though I do try to feed and enjoy both.

Given a choice I would absolutely choose female though I have no longer have any desire to change the outside only live

all that I love about feeling female in daily life.

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Guest levi (zack)

ok i basically started my transition because my ex boyfriend is transgender FTM i started transitioning after he rejected me the second time but now i've been doing it for about 7 months and i still haven't stopped i think i feel comfterbal being a "guy" but its kinda hard getting used to people calling me zack mainly because this kinda the second month that people actually started trying to call me zack and think of me as a boy i'm confused is it a fase or will it continue the rest of my life?

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Zak, you say you started your transition because your ex boyfriend rejected you twice? Perhaps i have it wrong, but you need to be about your motives as its a very big step to take................ :unsure:

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Guest levi (zack)

Zak, you say you started your transition because your ex boyfriend rejected you twice? Perhaps i have it wrong, but you need to be about your motives as its a very big step to take................ :unsure:

it was once but after i got over him i kinda kept transitioning and i think i feel better when people call my a boy and think of my as a boy but i don't like my name...... my mom picked it.....

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  • 6 years later...

Hi everyone im not sure if i am trans, i crossdress but feel more comfortable looking like a woman and have even had thoughts about  what it would be like having sex as a woman, i would dress everyday if i could and try to always look as feminine as i can when i do dress i always go for full make up and a wig and jewellery im not sure if im trans and i consider myself to be straight 

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  • Forum Moderator

Hi, Melanie.  Welcome!

 

It sure sounds like you might be trans.  Have to talked to a gender therapist?  That would be a good way to explore who you really are.  I know that wait lists are insane in the UK, so it might be advisable to get your name in the queue.

 

Sexual orientation is not usually related to gender identity.  But, yes, the terminology does get confusing.  If you consider yourself straight as a guy, you'd probably (no guarantees, though) end up as a lesbian woman, should you decide to transition.

 

Regards,

Kathy

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  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, Melanie legs said:

Hi everyone im not sure if i am trans, i crossdress but feel more comfortable looking like a woman...

 

...i consider myself to be straight 

 

1 hour ago, Melanie legs said:

Well i guess straight isnt the correct way of looking at myself if i feel better as a woman

Welcome Melanie, glad you decided to join us.  The fact that your searching likely means you are probably somewhere in the transgender spectrum.  Very few truly cis-het individuals are looking for the answers you seem to be looking for.  Maybe a few out of curiosity or research but it’s usually more than just that.  No one can answer these questions about yourself but you have come to a place that will likely help in your assessment and get you down the right path.  As @KathyLauren pointed out, finding a therapist with a specialty in gender issues is a great place to start too.

 

If you have a moment and feel comfortable enough, many of us here would love to know a little more about your journey up to this point and how you came to this place in the Introductions section of our forum.  Thank you for sharing and hope to hear more.

 

Warmest Regards,

Susan R?

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    • Sally Stone
      Post 6 “The Military Career Years” In 1977 I joined the Army and went to flight school to become a helicopter pilot.  To fly for the military had been a childhood dream and when the opportunity arose, I took advantage of it, despite knowing I would have to carefully control my crossdressing activity.  At the time, military aviation was male dominated and a haven for Type A personalities and excessive testosterone.  I had always been competitive but my personality was not typically Type A.  And while I could never be considered effeminate, I wasn’t overtly masculine either.  Consequently, I had little trouble hiding the part of my personality that leaned towards the feminine side.    However, serving in the Army limited my opportunities for feminine self-expression.  During this period, I learned that being unable to express my feminine nature regularly, led to frustration and unhappiness.  I managed these feelings by crossdressing and underdressing whenever I could.  Underdressing has never been very fulfilling for me, but while I was in the Army it was a coping mechanism.  I only cross-dressed in private and occasionally my wife would take me out for a late-night drive.  Those drives were still quite private, but being out of the house was clearly therapeutic.    I told myself I was coping, but when it became apparent the Army was going to be a career, the occasional and closeted feminine expression was clearly inadequate.  I needed more girl time and I wanted to share my feminine side with the rest of the world, so the frustration and unhappiness grew.  Despite my feelings regarding feminine self-expression, I loved flying, so I wasn’t willing to give up my military career.  Consequently, I resigned myself to the fact that the female half of my personality needed to take a back seat, and what helped me through, was dreaming of military retirement, and finally having the ability to let Sally blossom.   About Sally. Ironically, she was born while I was still serving.  It was Halloween and my wife and I were hosting a unit party.  I looked upon the occasion as the perfect excuse to dress like a girl.  After a little trepidation, my wife agreed I should take advantage of the opportunity.  Back then, my transformations were not very good, but with my wife’s help, my Halloween costume looked quite authentic.  Originally, my wife suggested that my presentation should be caricature to prevent anyone from seeing through my costume.  But that didn’t appeal to me at all.  I wanted to look as feminine and ladylike as I could.   To my wife’s and my amazement, my costume was the hit of the party.  In fact, later in the evening, my unit buddies decided they wanted to take me out drinking and before either me or my wife could protest, I was whisked away and taken to one of our favorite watering holes.  Terrified at first, I had an amazing time, we all did.  But on Monday morning, when I came to work, I learned that I had a new nickname; it was Sally, and for the duration of that tour, that’s what I was called.  Well, when it came time for me to choose a feminine name, there weren’t any other choices.  Sally it was, and to this day I adore the name, and thank my pilot buddies for choosing it.   And this brings me to my last assignment before retiring.  I was teaching military science in an Army ROTC program at Mercer University in Macon, Georgia.  I had been a member of TRIESS (a nationwide crossdressing support group).  I wasn’t really an active participant but when we moved to Georgia, I learned there was a local chapter in Atlanta.  I reached out to the membership chair person, and joined.   Because the chapter meetings took place in Atlanta, a trans friendly city, and because Atlanta was so far from Macon and any of my military connections, I felt it would be safe to let my feminine hair down.  The monthly meetings took place in the Westin Hotel and Conference Center in Buckhead, an upscale northern Atlanta suburb, and the hotel itself was 4-star.  The meetings were weekend affairs with lots of great activities that allowed me to express myself in a public setting for the first time.  It was during this time, that Sally began to blossom.   I have the fondest memories of Sigma Epsilon (the name of our chapter in Atlanta).  Because the hotel was also a conference center, there was always some big event, and in many cases, there were several.  One weekend there was a nail technician conference that culminated in a contest on Saturday evening.  When the organizers learned there was a huge group of crossdressers staying at the hotel, they reached out to us looking for manicure volunteers.  I volunteered and got a beautiful set of long red fingernails that I wore for the duration of the weekend.   During another of our meeting weekends, there was a huge military wedding taking place, and imagine what we were all thinking when we learned it was a Marine wedding.  Our entire group was on edge worrying we might have to keep a low profile.  It turned out to be one of the most memorable weekends I would experience there.  First off, the Marines were all perfect gentlemen.  On Friday night and throughout the day on Saturday before the wedding, we rubbed elbows with most of them and their wives in and around the hotel, and at the hotel bar.  In fact, we got along so well the bride invited us to the reception.  Somewhere, there is a picture of me with a handsomely dressed Marine draped on each of my arms, standing in the lobby of the hotel.  Sadly, I never got a copy of it because the woman who took the picture used a film camera (yes, they actually took picture that way in ancient times).    My two-years with Sigma Epsilon was the perfect transition.  I went from being fully closeted to being mostly out.  I enhanced my feminine presentation and significantly reduced my social anxiety.  It also signified the end of one life and the beginning of another.  I had a great career and never regretted serving, but I was ready to shed the restrictions 20-years of Army service had imposed on my feminine self-expression.  My new life, Sally’s life, was about to begin, and with it I would begin to fully spread a new set of wings, this time feminine wings.    Hugs, Sally
    • Sally Stone
      Ashley, for a very long time she clung to the term crossdresser, because for her it was less threatening.  Over the years, though, she has come to recognize and acknowledge that I have a strong feminine side.  And like me, she now has a much better understanding of where my transgender journey is going, so me being bigender, isn't the threat she might have perceived it as, years ago. 
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://apnews.com/article/title-ix-sexual-assault-transgender-sports-d0fc0ab7515de02b8e4403d0481dc1e7   The revised regulations don't touch on trans athletes; which I totally understand, as that's become a third rail issue and this is an election year.  But the other changes seem pretty sensible, and will obviously result in immediate right wing lawsuits.   Carolyn Marie
    • missyjo
      darling you have wonderful taste..I especially love the red dress n sneaker outfit   enjoy   missy
    • Carolyn Marie
      Very well said, @Abigail Genevieve, and very true.  Thank you.   Carolyn Marie
    • Susan R
      Trans Group Zoom Meeting Tomorrow!!   Trans Group Zoom Meeting Times: April 20, 2024 6:00 PM Pacific Time April 20, 2024 8:00 PM Central Time April 21, 2024 11:00 AM Australia/Melbourne   Message me for the meeting link if you’d like to attend.   *Hugs* Susan R🌷
    • Susan R
      They may win a few battles but not the war! as @Davie pointed out there is little truth if it full of lies, inconsistencies, and ignores evidence to the contrary. I saw this article earlier and have to agree here. Truth will win. This isn’t the first time this tactic has been tried. Always stick with the truth!
    • Susan R
      Welcome @violet r! Glad you joined our forum and got through the hardest part…that first post. As many have mentioned, we are more than accepting here as we affirm your gender identity and hold no judgement, whatsoever. There’s so much here on this forum, I think you’ll find very helpful. If you have trouble finding an answer just reach out, try the search but starting a new thread is usually best to get some quick answers. Many are here for various transgender related issues but many, if not all, are here to help one another if we can. It’s great to have you onboard.   Warmest Regards, Susan R🌷
    • Willow
      good evening   good day at work today.  I did do some things a little out of normal but everything was completed successfully.  As I said earlier, the Asst Mgr was my second today.  I don’t think she was too happy about that.  Several customers asked her where Richard was her answer was the manager cut his hours.  Well that is only part of the story,  his hours were cut just like mine were and several others but in his case he made demands about his hours that couldn’t be met.  But instead of making some non complaining remark about it she made sure to lay it all on the manager, thus throwing the manager under the bus.  Similarly when asked why she hadn’t been at work early mornings, she said she was being punished by the manager.  Well that’s partly true, she wouldn’t do what the manager told her to do so she took her off opening.  But secondarily she didn’t have a car to drive temporarily.  You can’t open the store without a car because who ever opens has tasks that require them to leave the store, so it was  at least partly her own fault.  But she chose to throw the manager under the bus for that.  I think she is asking to be fired for insubordination.  And if the manager gets these conversations off the security tape tomorrow she just might get her wish.   im pretty close to being ready to take the asst position but there isn’t anyone ready to take over my job, at least not at our store.  I suppose the other shift lead could if she is able to work earlier shifts and if the other closers were just a bit more reliable.   Ive been wanting some homefried chicken.  We found a BBQ place not far away that had such a chicken but I is made fresh when ordered so it has a 30 minute wait.  It was worth the wait and the other things we tried were also good.  Another restaurant on the list.  At least half of what we ordered came home for another meal.   i get to sleep in tomorrow, I go to work at 1:30!   Willow
    • Abigail Genevieve
      It was nine thirty.  Saturday morning had rolled around more quickly than Taylor could believe.  She groaned, whined, thought of a million excuses why she should just stay in bed and knock the alarm across the room.  But it would still be going on, and so would the promise to Bob: when the gi came in, she would be in. There it was in its nice package, out where she could not miss it.  Why didn't she hide it?  She shook her head.   Up she got.  Sometimes you just do.  Her hair was a wreck. She patted it down and went to the bathroom.  Nine forty five. Shower later. No make up. She hated kara-tay especially at an ungodly early hour on a Saturday morning. Bagel. Instant coffee.  She was five minutes away when she realized she had forgotten the gi.  Back she went.   Into the dojo.  She had about five minutes to get the gi on.  She attempted to slip in unnoticed and go to the little restroom. Someone barked something out in Japanese or something, and there was a dead silence.  She turned to see what was going on. Both classes were getting into their lines, but everyone, including Bob, was bowing slightly. To her. Bob nodded, and she returned the bow.  Life started again. She was touched.   Bowing three times. Oath. Kata.  She was facing off with Judy as her partner.  Judy looked worried.   "Sometimes you just gotta pick yourself up and try again," Taylor told her. She nodded. "Let's do this."   Lunge punch and lower block.  They traded off like nothing had happened the last weekend.  Lunge punch and middle block. Lunge punch and upper block.  It was kind of like dancing. Taylor enjoyed it.  She wanted to learn more.  Brown-belt Maggie adjusted position of limbs and hips for both Taylor and Judy, telling them when she was about to do something: elbow up a bit".    "How'd you do?" Bob asked her later.  They had both gone home and showered. Now they were in a booth at a fast food place.   "I was kind of disappointed class ended. I was ready for more."   "That's my trooper."   "I'm not allowing you in my apartment until we are married," she said suddenly.   "You think I am a problem?"   "No.  I think you are safe. You passed the test  I am the problem here."   "Okay."   "What did the doctor tell you?"   "It's complicated.  More tests coming.  Like getting into college.  I got a letter back.  It seems there is this big fat M on my transcript and my current picture is not an M type picture.  I have to write a letter and send them notarized proofs and stuff. Just delays. This is a pain. Nothing cut and dried."   "I will say.  I'm glad I'm not transgender."   "Hah. You are pulled into my world.  You are involved in this stuff as much as I am, and, as you put it, of your own free will."   "You are worth it."   "I hope so."   "I know so."      
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