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GurlinCanton
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By Harlyqynn · Posted
Hello, I am unsure where to start really, I guess I want to say out loud to the world that I am proud to be bisexual and finally open up that I am genderfluid. It has taken me a couple of decades to finally be able understand my gender, I feel like the world had finally given me a word that defines how I have felt for a long time. It was strange growing up, having feeling and thoughts without a label to make sense of myself or anyone to talk to about it. Some people consider the lack of a label a positive thing which I understand in many ways but it has been so hard to put into words to describe myself. I never understood why one day I would like my body as I was born (female) to then find I wanted nothing more than to be the total opposite. I was like two different people growing up, fluctuating from being happy as I represent one way to the complete opposite where I felt empty and a fraud, never opening up to one side of myself. I buried so many feelings and would make myself numb on the days where I felt 'wrong'. My sexuality on the other hand was something I came to terms with quite early on and although I never shouted it out, I was not ashamed privately of it from being a late teen. I confess even now, I am more nervous about telling my family and friends about being genderfluid as the world is still learning about it. I have finally admitted to myself who I am which has brought me so much relief and happiness. I feel like I am learning my life again, it's a wonderful taste of freedom. It is very early stages, I still fear being laughed at or told I am 'confused'. I have suffered with depression and bad mental healthe over the years- my greatest fear is having my past illnesses used against me when I try to explain who I am as a person. I truly believe my sadness in the past was partly due to the suppression and lies I carried for so long. After years of heartache, numbness, confusion, secrecy, traumas and insecurities I am emerging as a beautiful person. I understand so much more and I am able represent my true self. I would love to chat with others that understand, this is my first time of opening up to the wider world and I fear strangers less than those close to me. So far I have only told 2 people about being genderfluid; my partner and one friend. They were incredibly supportive. Love to them both XXX -
By Sylvia Feng · Posted
I got my MSW the end of 2019, which was before I came out to my parents and friends and started HRT, and during this time I've been unsuccessfully looking for/applying to as many positions I can find that meet my post-grad licensure requirements. I mean, the whole reason I chose an MSW over an MFT or MHC is because I wanted the other "helping" options social work offers. While I could go on about how ridiculous it feels getting licensed to practice clinical social work is (do individual counseling without supervision), I'm just curious how other people have managed to find the work they needed to get licensed. Thanks for your help! -
By Willow Farmer · Posted
I'm proud of you! That is one more hurdle you can check off. That leaves you more energy for tomorrow's goals. I just got back from electrolysis. My upper lip hurts. When I try to stop transitioning, I always hurt more. -
By Pumela · Posted
Thanks for the replay. Hopes and dreams. I just want him to be happy and feel loved. It’s ripping me apart seeing him like this. He is so angry dosen’t want to talk to his counseler anymore and is sick of all the dr calls. -
By HollyNoel · Posted
Well I did it. I turned it into the news paper today this morning. Lol. I’m so excited that I know that in about a month I will be Holly legally. Omg it seems like a dream. -
By Willow Farmer · Posted
I have 3 seriously Christian customers that know what I am doing, -trans-. They don't preach , they live by example. They have always liked me and support me now. -
By Shay · Posted
OMG - same is tryue here and I never remembered much about my dad and my wife notices I am remembering more in those areas - the almost continuous life of hints and clues and smacks in the sub-conscious - my sub-conscious now says .... duh .... what did you think was going on? @claire1000 - I forgot to mention numbing the pain with pot (gave it up but it didn't help) and drinking heavy (gave it up but that didn't help either) - the only solution has been "quit denying yourself and find the resources you need." the current society acceptance and with more and more folks coming out - it is getting easier - and I can't deny the frustrations of the past and wished I lived in an era of acceptance back then - I choose to be BETTER not BITTER about the past - that was my journey and only I could go on the journey. -
By claire1000 · Posted
There doesn't have to be a HAHA moment as I said before it was constant hints through childhood that made me feel different from other boys, and my teenage years were a nightmare as I tried the hyper masculine {playing football}way of trying to hide how I really felt which in the sixties would have been looked on with disdain or even thought to be a mental illness. When I was sixteen or so I found a copy of DR Harrry Bengamin's The Transexual Phenomenon when I read it I cried thinking there was a solution but cried realizing that the chances of me being able to do this was slim and none. Forty plus years of frustration, and 20 years of drinking alcoholiclly left me little hope for real happiness. What happened when I started HRT wasn't any physical change{they were relatively slow} but just the general feeling of well being of feeling this must be what being a female is, not sure if it was the estrogen finally in me, or the Knowledge that I was on my way but it was if I was walking on a type of cloud nine that the weight of the male world was finally beginning to lift that for me was my HAHA moment. -
By Shay · Posted
I gave up hiding - after 50 years of depression, anxiety , panic attacks, anorexia, multiple therapists and gray market self-HRT - I finally said I WILL NOT STOP UNTIL I TRY SUPERVISED HRT AND A GOOD GENDER THERAPIST. And that is what I did - I knew I was trans but denied it all my life asnd the previous therapist knew depression and anxiety but never went to gender dysphoria even when I was caught by my wife using gray market HRT. -
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By Teri Anne · Posted
Sounds awesome Myles97 Post a pic if you want but if you choose not to thats OK too. How the clothes make you feel is the important thing. Went out yesterday looking for a few clothing items and didn't find anything I was looking for but it was nice getting out . -
By Jandi · Posted
While I do look at a certain chain of events, really I find that I am still constantly processing it all. As time goes by I remember more things in my past. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I had made different choices. But there's no point in that, since the past is past. And I wonder how much do I break from my past? How much is just a continuing story? Sometimes I feel as if I'm still in a holding pattern. I suspect the covid pandemic has something to do with that. I'm not young, but I don't know where to go from here - it probably won't be far, LOL. Guess I'm just rambling now. -
By Linda Marie · Posted
No turning back. All the dreams come out, now you can't turn back. Now you are face to face with yourself, you think to yourself, what have I done. Where do I go from here? My no turning back was when I came out. What was yours? -
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By Linda Marie · Posted
Gosh, when did I realize I was in deep. Was it the time I dressed upped in my sisters clothes? We shared a bed room back then. Or was it when all I could of think was, I want to wear what's she's wearing? What woke you up to that Deep inner person you are today? I gave my hints up there ♥️ -
By Dee Jolly · Posted
Hi all! My name is Dee Jolly and I'm a nonbinary researcher at Boston Children's Hospital's Center for Gender Surgery. We're doing an interview study to understand transfeminine people's experiences with needing to discontinue their gender-affirming hormones (particularly estrogen) before a planned surgery and wanted to pass along our information. We are interested in understanding both what it's physically and emotionally like as well as how information is communicated about this process. We are asking people to participate in a 45-60 minute 1-on-1 interview over Zoom with a member of the research team. People can be located anywhere in the United States or Canada to participate. The audio will be recorded. Participants will only be identified by a pseudonym of their choice to protect anonymity. To participate, people must be: - Aged 18 years or older - Have been asked to discontinue their gender-affirming hormones (i.e., estrogen) before a planned surgery at a time when they were taking estrogen for a minimum of 12 continuous months (Surgery does not need to be gender-related). - Able to reliably access the internet - Comfortable with having audio recorded (for research purposes only). For more info and next steps, please email [email protected] or visit cgsresearch.org/estrogen
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