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By AwesomeClaire · Posted
Well, she probably won't be supportive then or use your name/pronouns, unfortunately. That's a tough one. You have to think about the possibility/eventuality tho that she will find out. How would you want her to find out? -
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By Bri2020 · Posted
I have butt envy Liz I'm in casual mode around the house today and repping my Dolphins. (and I have no butt to show. lol) -
By Kakileli · Posted
I know that my sister is INCREDIBLY homophobic, so I assume she is transphobic too. Not much else. I don’t live with her btw -
By Chiefsrule58 · Posted
Shame and fear of how others would react and not wanting to disappoint my parents. Growing up from the time I started kindergarten to when I graduated I was always subject to violence and bullying. My parents knew of the bullying as well as the teachers and principles. My mother just kept telling me that if I didn't just act the way I did the other kids would leave me be. My father took a different stance, he thought I should learn to stand up for myself so his approach was either you fight back or I will beat you myself. It took me a very long time for me to change my believes about myself. Overtime I got really good at hiding and avoiding others primarily for my own safety. In high school I had the opportunity to join NJROTC which I did because I did not want to deal with the gym locker room. I enjoyed the experience but still wasn't sure what I wanted to do. My Junior year of high school I took a severe beating by a group of guys so I convinced my mom to let me sign up for the Navy and told the recruiter I wanted to go to Navy boot camp ASAP so I left three days after I graduated high school the next year. I struggled in my first couple of years in the Navy. I got better at fitting in and I made friends with a female Sailor and we started hanging out all the time eventually she introduced to me wife. The dysphoria got worse after I married and eventually I came out to her a couple years into our marriage. Eventually our marriage came apart a divorce was eminent then by the grace of God things changed and we worked things out. At that point I was choosing the Navy; a job that I loved and was good at over authenticity, I had convinced myself that I could tolerate and live with the dysphoria. At this point my wife and I had endured four more deployments and the birth and death of our daughter. By 2015 we had two more children both had been diagnosed with ASD. It was at that point that it just became extremely difficult for me to function and deal with everything on top of the dysphoria. My wife encouraged me and made arrangements for me to see a therapist, so I did and started to attend group as well. Meeting other transgender people for the first time really changed my life because it gave me hope. I was at 18 years in the Navy at that point and was very torn on what I wanted to do. I choose to stay Navy and endure. I kept going to group and therapy when i could and once the DOD changed the policy I started taking HRT. Things never really worked out with coming out in the Navy or with medical just to many road blocks. I enjoyed being a Navy Chief so I continued on in my career. The thing that caused me to move beyond the state of limbo was the two suicide attempts, barley surviving the second one. I held things together after that because I was so grateful just to be alive. I retired from the Navy in 2020 and things didn't get better so I reached out to the VA for help. They have been very helpful with the transition out of the Navy. Along the way I stopped fighting with myself and made the decision to transition and start living full time. For me it has made all the difference in my life. Jamie -
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By Maddee · Posted
Money. And fear of making the wrong choices (which Drs, which types and order of procedures, etc) -
By KymmieL · Posted
When I carry my purse. I usually just have my wallet, some makeup, my keys, and maybe some protection. That is about all I can fit in my purse. -
By Linda Marie · Posted
Out of the blue I get a call. I'm retired and have to go to a business meeting. Do not know what this about, all I know is I text back and told them, I'm wearing polka dots. They said please come as you are. LM♥️ -
By AwesomeClaire · Posted
I was never an alpha male either. A couple things stopped me from transitioning. Mostly fear and shame. Fear of what people would do to me when they found out, and shame of failing as a man and not living up to others' expectations. Also, I had started losing my hair at some point in my 20s and then I was just like "oh, this is it then, there is no way I can do this." So, another main thing holding me back was lack of knowledge. As far as I knew, "transsexuals" were these weird people that got their stuff removed. Nobody even knew one. I didn't even know about ftm. I didn't know about good wigs even or hormone therapy. It was just me all alone, trying to figure out how to look like a girl, failing at it, and then sadly giving up. I didn't have the words or ability to express what was going on with me. I just knew I wanted to look like a girl, and for a while I tried to make myself look like the very feminine male characters from some video games, especially Dynasty Warriors. I really started experimenting more after coming out to family and some close friends as bi, I tried on a dress and heels for the first time with some friends and just loved it. But then the dark thoughts and fear started crowding in again and I felt what I was doing was ridiculous and wrong, so I quit. It would resurface many times over the years, especially if I got drunk or there was another guy around that I liked. November 2019, a year after my divorce, is when I got a very strong urge to pursue this again - I decided to do it right, I did the research, learned quite a lot, and made the decision to be the real me. -
By AwesomeClaire · Posted
I hadn't had a Facebook account in over a decade. But, my friends in my gaming group were using Facebook groups and I felt I was missing out. A few months into my transition I had decided on Claire, so I started up an FB account. Part of this was intentional. I spent a lot of time and energy talking to my closest friends, family, and coworkers about my transition, explaining why I was doing it, my history, etc. So, rather than surprise more people and have to explain a bunch of stuff, I just put myself out there on FB and let people react as they may. I got an overwhelming amount of support, and it just felt good to get it out of the way and have everyone know about it. -
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By Teri Anne · Posted
You look fab in polka dots Linda Marie. You always look so put together. -
By Willow · Posted
Trying this again, the worry is alway lack of acceptance but it’s never as bad as you imagine. My wife was my worst and she has given her concerns to God. We are doing a whole lot better. Purses, I don’t carry all that in my purse, but I will say after carrying one, I don’t understand why the MURSE never caught on. I wear glasses in case you hadn’t noticed so a glasses case with my prescription sun glasses, or vice versa, lipstick, hair brush, keys, phone, a compact, I try to carry tissues but use them and don’t think to replace them, a face mask, and my wallet. It matches the purse. My wife makes purses and matching wallets out of different materials. The one I’ve been using is cork. But she makes quilted, foleather, and others and she usually manages a matching wallet. Sometime my wife and I want the same one and have to share. Ok, I give in to her most of the time but I have a couple she made specifically for me. -
By Niamh · Posted
While I fully understand that some of us may wish to limit who we "come out" to, I was getting frustrated that I had to work out everytime I posted on facebook who knew what. So on 31 March (transgender day of visibility) I decided to post my transgender status to all those who I had not up to that point informed. I had feared a bit of a backlash from some of the right-wing family members who were my fb friends, but in fact all the responses I had to my post were entirely positive. One of my fb friends obviously decided to unfriend me (I had made a note of how many fb friends I had before the post), but as I've been unable to work out who that person was - it's clearly no big deal. But the big plus is that I now know that I don't have to tiptoe around what I post in FB. I have maintained two separate FB identities as I am genderfluid, and I'll post appropriate updates in my male and female FB pages accordingly. I did however invite my male FB friends to "friend" Niamh if they wished and a significant number did. So I fully understand your desire to not have to hide your identity from anyone - it lifts a big weight from your shoulders and I hope that going forward that your family accept how you are even if they are not supportive.
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