I have been discharged from the Emily Program

[Guest Emily Ray]

I wish this was good news, but in fact it is quite a blow for me. During my two weeks in Intensive Outpatient Programing I had a great deal of dificulty eating the american styled Sweet Desserts we had every night. I am 40 yrs old and desserts have never been a part of my normal diet on a regular basis. Living in Mexico for the last 8 years my taste for sweet desserts has gone from not my favorite to I can't eat this its too sweet.

Well, my nutritionist, therapist, and everyone involved in my treatment is sure that this is disordered thinking caused by my eating disorder. Since this is their firm belief they have made eating the desserts a requirement of getting any kind of intensive help for me. This has caused me a ton of distress because I know that I can't eat those desserts. I have asked them to provide a mexican dessert with less sugar and they refuse to meet me half way and accuse me of black and white thinking. I need help, but I can't eat something that I hate and expect to create a neutral relationship with food. My mother is going to call the director of the program and explain to him that this is not just a food rule, but a food preference. Maybe he will listen, I hope he does.

If they don't, I have a back up plan. There is a more medical model treatment clinic in town and I am starting the intake process with them next Wednesday. I will be mentioning my needs from the start so they can decide if they can accommodate me before I start a program and establish a theraputic relationship with a therapist. I really can't handle another healthcare provider walking out on me again.

Loosing hope

Emily

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Honey - you are okay, just keep working at it!

Lizzy

[VickySGV]

For what little it is worth, I cannot take super sweet desserts either, and I am one who NEEDS to lose weight. So where is my stuff coming from. I would rather forgo that part of a meal entirely.

You are tough Emily and you will make it. Even the best programs have their crazy side, sometimes its the big rock candy mountain to climb over. Good luck hun!!

[Svenna]

Em,

Sorry you are feeling so discouraged!

But, hey, it sounds to me like you are doing the work, trying to get better, and staying engaged when things don't go exactly as you'd prefer..

I can't speak to the dessert issue, but I am glad to see you continuing to try to establish dialog with the program people. Don't give up, stay flexible as you can, and see this through to your best results..

I hate that you are having difficulties such as these, you are a dear girl and you deserve smoother sailing, but you have to press onward...

You can do this, hang in there!

Love, Svenna

[Guest angels wings]

Geee I'm with u there I can't stand sweeeeeet deserts ewwwwwww. A little yea but to much no way .hang in there lovey . Wishing u all the best . ((((hugs))))

[Guest Emily Ray]

The worst part about this past week is the betrayal I feel from my individual therapist. I don't know why that bothers me so much more than the betrayal of everyone else in the program and it seems everywhere else in my life. Maybe I trusted her to have my back and to stand with me against the others who were more interested in their program integrity than in healing me. I don't know that I could ever go back now even if they said they made a mistake and wanted to help me again. I don't think I can afford to be burned by the people I am paying to help me.

Huggs

Emily

[Guest angels wings]

I think it would be quite normal to feel betrayal after what u went through . Sometimes it is a rollercoaster and the only way it seems to be heading is down . But it does eventually go up . Try and think of some positve things and take one day at a time . Sometimes we just have to remember what our goal is and tackle it little by little with patience . I wish u all the best lovey .

[Svenna]

Hugs for you, sweet Em...

Tomorrow is another day!

Svenna

[Charlize]

Hang in there and you will do fine. This bs will pass as well. You can and will rise above it.

Hugs and a nice piece of fruit, Charlie