What Makes You 'gay' If You're Transgendered?

[Guest Evan_J]

Oh wow, I didn't know this had gotten good again....

(I know I'm way late lol)

Can you elaborate on that?

I have read about ftm's who are attracted to women who say that they prefer more feminine women. There was also a ftm who said when he used to go into lesbian bars they would tell him his taste is too "straight female." That's kinda how I am too...in a more literal sense than just the being attracted to feminine women, I'm naturally most attracted to straight women. In a way I have "straightdar" with women - so far, it hasn't failed me. lol. If i find someone attractive, they're straight. And I've done that with at least a dozen girls. So yeah, just wondering if that's what you meant by that statement.

Actually Genesis, I have no idea . But I'd like to. I too have "straight female tastes" but a) am not certain what's meant when people say it and b ) unlike you, actually can pick out the lesbian girl , but once we would get into feeling each other out always clashed cuz what I wanted a woman to be she never was. (Even beyond the fact that I wasn't what she wanted )Now I'm wondering if its because of a type of mindframe as opposed to dress, appearance and style. **Sigh. It sounds so stereotypical and 1950's but is it that the lesbian mindframe is more egalitarian/feminist orientated than the straight woman? I'm actually trying to figure this out before I date straight women. And please, anyone who wants to answer don't use a "Hilary Clinton" or any other celebrity as an example, I actually want dating views/opinion based on having dated straight women.

[Guest My_Genesis]

Oh wow, I didn't know this had gotten good again....

Actually Genesis, I have no idea . But I'd like to. I too have "straight female tastes" but a) am not certain what's meant when people say it and b ) unlike you, actually can pick out the lesbian girl , but once we would get into feeling each other out always clashed cuz what I wanted a woman to be she never was. (Even beyond the fact that I wasn't what she wanted )Now I'm wondering if its because of a type of mindframe as opposed to dress, appearance and style. **Sigh. It sounds so stereotypical and 1950's but is it that the lesbian mindframe is more egalitarian/feminist orientated than the straight woman?

That's interesting, sometimes I'm more drawn to straight women who are feminists (Tina Fey is a perfect example of that ) Don't really know why, I think it's mainly a subconscious thing...although one day when i was bored, I took this quiz online called "What kind of feminist are you?" (it did say also for males and non-feminists it's interesting to read about your views anyway lol) and I got liberal feminist. The description said my main concern is that women should have sexual freedom equal to that of men..i.e. not be labeled as things like "slutty" for acting more overtly sexual in public, while men are expected to act that way to represent their masculinity - maybe this is an outdated concept but in a way it can still hold true today (?) So maybe that description has something to do with my thing with feminists...Not that if there's someone who's not into all that sexual equality stuff I would have any problem with them... lol. idk, women who fight for sexual equality and freedom can be a turn-on. I guess that's really the only thing I was getting at in this paragraph lol.

The other thing is, of course there are plenty of lesbian women who find straight, feminine women just as attractive as guys do. Then there's that thing that I hear come up every now and then about guys who love lesbian porn. Then again porn is really a separate subject and doesn't necessarily mean you're more attracted to lesbians than straight women. So I don't really know, I mean I don't see very many feminine lesbians, so not really sure if there are any i might find attractive just because they're feminine, or maybe in that case my straightdar would fail me.

[Guest My_Genesis]

Newbie here... but I'd love to toss in some random thoughts.

I live in the 'burbs of Seattle. If you've never been here, think "San Francisco -- but without even any TRACE of Republicans". It's beyond merely broad-minded. You can find every flavor, color, stripe, hue, and tone of gender and sexuality here, from flannel work-shirt wearing macho stevadores (many of whom happen to be genetic females) to fashion model lesbians, the lether-and-whip crowd, and people who only get off watching women in 4 inch red stilettos squash bugs.

I'm a beginning male-to-female transsexual who's modestly attracted to men (actually, only one male right now) and is not sexually turned-on by women. In a simple, 1950's world (anyone see the AMC TV show, "Mad Men"?), you were either male (and sexually attracted to females) or female (vice versa).

Then it got complicated. Suddently you could be male and attracted to males... female and attracted to females....

Then someone got the idea of adding bisexuality. (Woody Allen said it doubled your chance of getting a date on Saturday night.)

THEN you could be a MTF attracted to males, or a MTF attracted to females.... etc. etc.

I'm not a math major, but I believe this is called a "power function". Graph it, and you rather quickly end up with an infinity of possibilities.

I like what someone on this thread said... "Be Yourself. Everyone Else is Taken." Amen to that, brothers, sisters, and whomever else is reading this.

I know what a power function is, although I don't really know what it is you're saying could be graphed as a power function. lol

i do know, though, that the most recent "theory" about sexuality is that it runs on a spectrum from completely homosexual to completely heterosexual, and no one is really 100% one or the other. Kinda like that saying "everyone is a little bit gay". and i guess it can go the other way too, to say "every gay person is a little bit straight." lol

I think part of the reason people might reject this is that a lot of it is socialization. For instance, guys who are straight often make fun of one another if they do/say anything that is stereotypically "gay". So maybe that has caused them to believe that being straight is very absolute, and straight guys don't have any gay tendencies at all, even in what they say/do. (I myself am guilty of this ) But who knows if they were to get really drunk or something and lose all abilities to inhibit their impulses what could happen. lol

[Guest Evan_J]

I think part of the reason people might reject this is that a lot of it is socialization. For instance, guys who are straight often make fun of one another if they do/say anything that is stereotypically "gay". So maybe that has caused them to believe that being straight is very absolute, and straight guys don't have any gay tendencies at all, even in what they say/do. (I myself am guilty of this )

Can we reword it to even say " hope that being straight is very absolute" because I think that's what a lot of it is. It like "fear" of being gay. And I say that (yeah, I'm confessin too Genesis ) as sometimes easily comin off as darn near "king of the trans straight boys" in that I can get a little "homophoby". And its the same reasons Genesis listed -cuz we all know it can go a little beyond "teasing" and making fun to downright ridiculing and targeting- nobody wants to be that person. So instead of ending the ridiculing it becomes "how bout I just look out for me" and go balistic at any implication that I might be gay too.

[Guest My_Genesis]

lol. but not homophobic in the sense that you think gay people are total weirdos and you don't wanna be anywhere near them because they're freaks of nature with some crazy disease. (yeah that's my definition of a hardcore homophobe lol). i call it self-homophobic

Imagine what would happen if katy perry were a guy singing "I kissed a guy and I liked it..." That could become a huge controversial issue....which it kinda already was anyway, but I mean if it were an assumed straight guy singing that, he'd be teased and ridiculed about it for the rest of his life. Girls are more accepting of I guess what we'd consider "gay tendencies", and guys also seem to be more accepting of girls having those tendencies than they are of other guys having them.

And yeah I guess it makes sense to change it to hope to admit how in denial guys are lol

[Guest Evan_J]

assumed straight guy singing that, he'd be teased and ridiculed about it for the rest of his life. Girls are more accepting of I guess what we'd consider "gay tendencies", and guys also seem to be more accepting of girls having those tendencies than they are of other guys having them.

Ok, I'm gonna go there. And people might not like what I say but I swear to god its what I see. I often wonder if its just that women are so much more "accepting" of homosexuals/ality, gay tendencies, social outcasts....or is it that both mainstream males and females regard the female gender as a "dumping ground" for anything deemed secondary.

A homosexual male is often called or thought of as "less than a man" by a lot of mainstream straight males, he might even be literally called a {"the b word"}- inferring that he is "no better than a female". ANYthing when we look at it in terms of sexualilty, when "not up to" the measure of standardized "maleness" is "disposed of" amongt the females. A cross-dresser does not often "measure up" and he is called in pretty much the same ways as the homosexual male EVEN THOUGH he may in fact be heterosexual. Its not a matter of sexual orientation in truth, its a matter of measuring up to the "superior" standards of maleness. A MtF -regardless of orientation- also is generally "not considered to meet the requirement" and (although its what they are/want anyway) is easier cast into a derogatory female stigmatization (most notably the calling of "heshe" and all that). An FtM , while possibly exemplifying more "manliness" in character than several natal males often is also "refused" entry primarily because of possession of the single most "female" body part that any male acknowledges. Possesion of it immediately relegates that person "in with the females. " In the end the gender of woman becomes a "trash basket" of anything "not good enough" to be male.

[Guest My_Genesis]

Ok, I'm gonna go there. And people might not like what I say but I swear to god its what I see. I often wonder if its just that women are so much more "accepting" of homosexuals/ality, gay tendencies, social outcasts....or is it that both mainstream males and females regard the female gender as a "dumping ground" for anything deemed secondary.

I never thought of it that way. Wow. Don't let any women see this...lol

Actually what I thought you were gonna say...something I keep reading/hearing about, that "women have bisexual tendencies."/"All women are bisexual to some degree." So is that why they can have those "tendencies" and not get ridiculed for it the way guys do? I don't know. But I did bring it up to someone in school a few months back, and he said "Nah, I don't think so, I think they just say that to make gay people feel better."

lol