6 months clean off of meth and trying to pick up the pieces

[Guest tshopesoul]

Hello everyone, I have been clean from Meth for a little over 6 months now. I am very proud of myself for being able to put myself, my life and my transition first again. But I feel alone and uninspired, I think this is a stage or something but I am getting scared that if i don't find anyone else batteling this war I might loose my appreciation for my sobriety. Now i have been to the NA meetings and even some others but I am always the only TG in the group and even though everyone there is batteling a addiction, i feel like I am alone, and cant relate my cirumstances because noone else there would understand nor, really be open to understanding (as tends to be the case most times) anyways i hope to get to know some of you

thank you

samantha

[Carolyn Marie]

First of all, Samantha, please let me welcome you to the Playground. Our most important mission here is support, and so I think you've found the right place. There are many here who have been where you are, and they will come along and welcome you shortly. I want to congratulate you on being clean for six months, and my fondest wish is that it continues far into the future, and you can put that part of your life behind you. Addiction is a terrible thing to fight, but you are not alone.

We have much more here to offer you as well. Please take the time to look around at the different forums, the pinned topics, and post your own topics or reply in others as you see fit. We do ask all our new members to read the site Terms and Conditions, because they help us keep the site safe and pleasant for all our members. We have members here as young as 13.

Your path is a difficult one to walk, but we'll be there to help you, and keep you from stumbling over obstacles and detours, so you can reach your goals.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[VickySGV]

Way to go Samantha -- REAL Congratulations!!

On Sunday nights at 9pm eastern time (6pm for us Pacific Time Zoners ) we have a AA/NA Chat over in the Chat Rooms (you do need a separate registration for that, but its easy) that has about 4 to 6 of us every time, and our topics are support of recovery and recognition of our unique problems as Trans Folk. We can get humorous or serious as the needs come up, and first item is always someone having trouble with cravings or "stinking thinking". I am in recovery for Alky and Prescription Drugs, but we have had and still get people with your problem, so we all have recovering addict status and you will notice names in chat that post on these boards fairly often.

If you look around here, we also have several people who live in your area that are involved in local TG groups that they can point you to. At those groups, the odds are great that you will meet someone who shares directly in your addiction recovery, since TG people are at high risk for that kind of thing. Get your posts up to 5, and when you see one of your local folks (hint - a couple are moderators) PM them about the Seattle T Life and I am sure you will be given some good information.

[Guest]

Welcome! I want to give an encouragement "ATTA Girl!" If your focus starts to slip, remind yourself that Meth will absolutely kill all the good effects of hormones, There is a beautiful you that is coming out naturally, that can be minimized by other drugs. I'm so glad that for me, living and loving a twelve step program helped me loose that drug in 1992. Come be a lovely "Long-timer" with me and others. You are not alone here, though most of us will have to give you a virtual hug. Giggle. Jody

WOW! one day at a time sure has been a long time!?! Take that you statute of limitations! LOL

[Guest angels wings]

Yeahhhhhhhhh Congradulations Samantha . (((((((( hugs ))))))))

[Michelle 2010]

Hi Samantha, I'm Michelle,,,alcoholic. Congratulations on your clean time.

While drugs are not what took me down, I could identify with everything you said about the sense of being different, perhaps alone, and not having people understand...and how ultimately that "terminal uniquesness" is what could take you to despair or relapse. It's strange how the disease of addiction isolates almost all of its victims and leaves them with the feelings you describe, yet in our case as transgendered addicts, its really true... we are pretty unique and people really don't understand. So the question is, since our lives are at stake, how to overcome that issue, right?

Well, for me, that need to connect with others like myself led to two actions. One, I started attending a TG support group where i would explore my tg self openly and honestly. I knew how to "get real" in that meeting because I had been doing it for a while in AA. I understood that playing games with ego, dishonesty, need to impress, etc hurt only myself and if others had a problem with me being Real, I did not need to own their problem.

Secondly, I recently started attending an lgbt aa meeting. While I was the only T in the LGBT, I knew I could "claim my seat" as an alcoholic who had a right to be there. What I found was that while people didn't necessarily understand the trans experience, they could relate to the issues associated with the experience... issues such as feeling different, youthful fear of who I was and how I felt, self rejection, pretending to be someone I was not, worrying about what others might think if they knew the real me, fearing of being discovered, what it was like to "come out", issues of self acceptance, and on and on...

So, what I have learned in recovery is that the biggest obstacle to staying sober is our own ego, and the desire at times to isolate from others. Isolation is the action that we take when we start separating from others mentally. It is very important to connect somewhere somehow with others in recovery or we become the animal on the edge of the herd, the straggler, that gets picked off by the wolf... and the wolf is always nearby because it is the disease of addiction that lives within us, telling us that everything is alright and that we can do it by ourselves, that we don't need "those" people, since we aren't really like them.

The good news for you is that you live in one of the major tg friendly cities in the USA. If you are having difficulty connecting with trans addicts you simply need to check out other meetings. And if for some reason trans people in Seattle are not addicts (lol!), settle for an lgbt meeting or go to a regular meeting and go to the support meetings that I hear Megan refer to occasionally. If you want to stay sober and become the person god wants you to be, a healthy well adjusted transgendered human being, you need to change your life and the only way I know to do it is to "don't use and go to meetings".

Best wishes

Michelle

[gennee]

Hi Samantha and congratulations on your six months of sobriety. Take it one day at a time.

[Charlize]

Hi Dear, Like Michelle i attend a n AA GLBT meeting. Its an accepting thing although the other T's are rare. I am more and more accepted. I have a friend at that meeting who always introduces himself(he's a gay man) as an addict. Like you he is in recovery from meth. I put that stuff in my arm back in 1964. Sorry but i'm an old girl. Go to AA meetings if you can't get what you need in NA. Things are a lot more flexible now. The GLBT groups are very into the third tradition. It's worth a try! Maybe your life which is not to be messed with. Congratulations on 6 months.....Thats huge! Now keep moving.

Hope to see you in these forums and the Sun chat meeting is a good place to be with us trans addicts.

Hugs,

Charlie

[Guest AmazonD]

I did quit everything. I made lots of bets and told many people and smoked ciggs every second for one day and smoked 6 packs and got so sick i never started again because the bets would have killed me.

as for drugs i told my so called friends i am thinking of becoming a narc to quit.. they all stopped contacting me and well i went to NA and AA for many many yrs and then just got on with my life helping people and doing things which had more meaning to me.. oh getting the gender change got rid of testes and testosterone which was like a drug running thru my body. That was over 15 yrs ago so i am free from it all..

You too can be free..

PS: I did every kind of drug except the new drugs they have in the last 30 yrs..

I hope this helps to inspire others here to quit..

[Guest vissymiss]

Congrats on being meth free! That is a great accomplishment to be proud of for sure! If you want to talk feel free to message me anytime I am new and looking to make friends to exchange thoughts.