Girlfriends

[Guest Tesa]

I have been datin my girlfriend for 3yrs(she is my first girlfriend) I'm only 20yr and I am tryin to work up the courage to tell her, "I am a Crossdresser."

Crossdressin is a lot of who i really am, but i keep it very private and i have never told anyone. I think it would bring maybe some higher level of intimacy to our relationship and remove a secret i have been keepin.

We are both virgins and i don't know why i feel like that's important to say, but i do. We have our fun she has more recently began wearing lingerie and we go shoppin for it together which is just bitter sweet. I drop hints while we shop make joke just hopin she will ask me or even tell me to wear some too. It almost seems weird to tell her this before we have explored our sexuality together but crossdressin it more to me then just a kink.

So that's enough back story. I need help how do i tell her i crossdress? I've read that sittin down and just talkin it out is a good option. i really just don't know how to tell her

[Guest SusanB]

Let her loose in your bed room, women are nosy critters.

Let her discover your stuff, she might enjoy dressing you up

Of course Holloween is coming up, that's a good way to show off

[Guest MsGsptlsnz]

If you are in any way serious about having a long term relationship with her you have to let her know. I hid my cross dressing from my wife for 13 years. When I finaly told her there was a lot of anger over keeping that secret. It took her a while to get over it. If your girlfreind can't take it for whatever reason then it's better to have that out now when there isn't a child in the middle.

The best way to do it is just tell her, while not cross dressing. One shock at a time is best. Let her guide the conversation from that point and simply answer her questions honestly and openly. She may need space after this. Let her have it. Let her ask you to see your fem side. Never push that on her. Especialy if you look better than she does

[Guest angels wings]

Hello Tesa:) Welcome to Laura's

I see this is your first post yeahhhhhhh . I'm sure you will find a lot of people here you can relate to . There are many forums with great info have a look around and when your ready you can add a comment to any topic. We ask all our members to please read the terms and conditions which are in the bottom right of any page. If you like you can make a small intro of yourself in the introductions forum . This allows other members to welcome you also .

Communication and gentleness is the way . The longer you leave it the harder it will become . I don't agree in leaving things around she could find she will feel bad enough as it is as she learns to deal with the news . Most woman find it hard to accept but with time some slowly learn to adjust . Never force things unto her let her slowly adapt and ask questions . There will be many many questions and she will also have a lot of doubts . This is normal as we try and process what this all means . Be patient and speak gently. There is an S/O forum here also she may like to read . We are here for you and your girlfriend . If you have any questions we will do our best to answer them .i wish you and your precious lady all the best .

Angel

[Guest *Charlotte P*]

You can read many stories here about telling girlfriends/wives and there are as many reactions from them as there are stories to tell. Some don't bat an eye (like my fiance at the time) and some flat out leave right there and then. So be read around here and get an idea of what type of reactions you can expect.

Be prepared to loose her, that's really the worse thing that can happen, if she stays with you then it's not the worse and you will be able to move on in your relationship and find where things are going to go. I can say from my own experience, bring it in phase by phase and don't flood her with every fantasy you ever had just because she is excepting.

Remember she will be going thru all sorts of feelings even if she doesn't show it. So be prepared to give her time and you will find it goes a long way.

Good luck.

Charlotte

[Guest Eve Caillard]

Hi Tesa and welcome!

I'm a "newbie" to all this and when i discovered (rather late at the age of 53 and 30 years married) that I am a cross-dresser I decided I had to come out to my wife immediately. It scared the living daylights out of me but I did it (30 years into marriage!!). She went with it! She's not hugely tolerant - I must keep it away from her BUT she accepts to a certain degree and jokes with me about it. It's the best thing I did. Like many cross-dressers I blew out on clothes. And as for my "Imelda Marcos" level of needs in boots - no way to hide that. To keep it secret would have been hopeless. Over-stuffed wardrobes are difficult to hide!

But being open about it allows for a wider relationship. We shop together now and she enjoys my enthusiasm for her clothes, and she guides me to things I might like. It's good. Limited, but good and heck, way better than have her discovering it out of the blue.

So, my personal (and non-professional) opinion (based on my experience) is to be upfront and tell her from the start. But obviously it is up to you.

Regardless, here on Laura's Playground you have some fantastic friends and advice. This community has been an inspiration for me.

All the best, Eve

[Guest Tesa]

Thank you all for your kind words and advice i took it to heart and i did it! I tolder yesterday night and we only talked about it a bit before goin to bed. I think she took it well but she seemed more blind sided then i thought she would be ^^; guess my hints were to light shes not all that big on sayin whats on her mind so i mostly just answerd questions i thought she might be thinkin. I dont know how she will feel about in once the whole concept sinks it. I'm just glad i got it out ^^ thank you for the last bit of confidence i needed to say what i was able to say!

[Guest KatyDesire]

This will have been a shock for her. She will be thinking: "is he gay?", "does he want to transition?", "does this make me a lesbian?"

If she is the type of person who likes to get answers in books, there are quite a few out there which will give her the answers she needs. She may need to see a gender therapist with you - and then she might be in a better position to make up her mind about what she wants to do. Or she may want to just walk away.

But I think you need to give her as much access to information as you can, so that, whatever turns out, neither you nor she should have any regrets in the long run.

Holding thumbs for a good outcome.

Hugs,

Katy

[Guest Scarlett London]

Congrats on coming out to her! Hopefully the last couple of days have gone well since. I know we're all dying for an update. The following couple of days can be difficult once the news sinks in and they start coming up with questions. In all honesty, even though it is a 3 yr relationship, if it does go south, the break up is cleaner than a marriage and you can always try again. But hopefully that won't be the case. Good luck with everything, girl, and keep us posted.

Ciao

Scarlett

[Guest Tesa]

Hi everyone,

So far shes takin it well hasnt really asked to many question i think shes still wrapin her head around the idea. The questions she has asked me were "Why do you like it?" And "How long have you been doing it?" Both i answered honesty and openly. Ive been givin her lots of space and i think were goin to be ok ^^

Thank you for your support!

Hugs(>")>

Tesa

[Guest Eve Caillard]

Please do let us know how you get on, Tesa.

Eve

[Guest Tesa]

^^ pretty good. She says shes still processing she doesnt mind me wearin panties or girls jeans around her. She does say shes not in love with it. She doesnt find wearin panties when we r makin out and what not a turn on so i wear some boxers but i am not one to care what i am wearin im lookin at her more then at myself ^.- Anyway so over all shes taken it in stride we are alot further away from me hangin around in full fem but im comfterable with where its goin thanks for bein an awesome group of awesome ladies

Hugs (-")-,

Tesa

[Simon/Sarah]

Congratulations Tesa. When I first told my wife I took it real slow and gave her heaps of time to get used to it all, now she's all cool with me taking it a LOT further.

Wishing you the best of luck.