Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Drugs, Alcohol, and Trans


Guest shayla651

Recommended Posts

Guest shayla651

Finding things out about yourself can be exciting, it can also be very scary though too. I never realized that I was transgender until I was in fifth grade. But, only being in the fifth grade and still being young I had no idea how rough my life would get in the years to come. After, coming to the realization that I should have been born female I kept it to myself. I was petrified of being judged or ostracized from my peers. By the time that I was in my junior year of high school I came out to my parents. That was one of the scariest moments of my life. I was hoping for acceptance and for someone to tell that everything would be alright. Instead I was met with harsh criticisms and violence. After experiencing such hate and misunderstanding from my parents I refused to talk to them about anything. I lost all trust in my parents. From there I started down the slippery road of drug and alcohol addiction. I turned to drugs because I felt I had no one I could talk to you or no way to make things better. I thought the drugs and alcohol could fill the whole that I now had in my heart. At my weakest moments and a moment when I needed my parents the most they abandoned me. I guess I am writing this to help others and to just get some of this of my mind. It all started with drinking I would become so intoxicated I could not function normally let alone think. I liked being that way because I didn't have to deal with the problems of life. But it came to a point where alcohol would not cut it anymore and then I turned to drugs. Among all of this craziness I did manage to find a healthy way to help myself. As some of you may know I live in Tn, but I was born in Wi. During my lowest of low I moved to Wi. to help me get off the drugs and help myself. At first when I got to Wi. I was still bad into drug addition, but then I stumbled across this building downtown called The LGBT Center. They looked friendly enough so I walked in and started talking to them. After, talking to them for a couple hours a week. I realized that there was nothing wrong with me, but my mind had been brainwashed by my mom. She would tell me that I was an abomination, that I was going to rot in hell, and that I was no longer her son. Thanks to the people at the LGBT Center though I had finally became more comfortable with myself. I have yet to make any changes yet but plan to. I am currently back in Tn and trying to the courage back up again to go in public as how I see myself. But, It is scary. This is where most of my bad memories come from. I want to go back to WI but if I cant be myself where ever I go then what's the point. I have read some of ya'lls post and it astonishes me how much courage that you have. But, I guess we all possess the courage to do what we want, but first you need to be strong enough to reach into yourself and pull out the you that isn't scared. Its hard to do that though. Especially when the current you is a coward. I can only hope that I can one day be brave enough to look pass the looks I get from people,and the ridicule that I face. Until then I need to be happy and just continue being happy that I am finally out and doing something about it. If anyone reads all of this and thinks that they have some helpful advice on being comfortable with yourself. I am all ears. I also want to thank the people who took the time to read all that I have wrote, and I also hope that maybe I was able to help someone else as well. I noticed that I never but my "status" on here so I should probably shed some light on that. I am MTF and proudly out of the closet, and am hoping to one day be able to have SRS.

Link to comment
Guest Carla_Davis

Hi Shayla,

I agree with you fully about the value of LGBT Centers.

Here is a brief description about how the LGBT Center of NYC saved my life.

I would like to share with you a Life-Changing and Life-Saving story about ME.

I used to attend “MY CENTER” aka “The LGBT Community Center in NYC” They are located at 208 W. 13th Street. ,NYC.

I am very PROUD to say that they “Literally” saved my life from Suicide when my whole family disowned me and also did terrible things to me.

I also volunteered there for approx. 2 years. I considered it a “SAFE HOUSE” where I could get away from all my pain and suffering at home.

hugs,

Carla

Link to comment

But, I guess we all possess the courage to do what we want, but first you need to be strong enough to reach into yourself and pull out the you that isn't scared. Its hard to do that though. Especially when the current you is a coward. I can only hope that I can one day be brave enough to look pass the looks I get from people,and the ridicule that I face. Until then I need to be happy and just continue being happy that I am finally out and doing something about it. If anyone reads all of this and thinks that they have some helpful advice on being comfortable with yourself. I am all ears. I also want to thank the people who took the time to read all that I have wrote, and I also hope that maybe I was able to help someone else as well. I noticed that I never but my "status" on here so I should probably shed some light on that. I am MTF and proudly out of the closet,

Hi sweetie, welcome to Lauras's Playground... This is the definition of courage I have come to embrace:

Courage is not the absence of fear, but the capacity to act in the presence of fear.

I can't speak for others, but for myself there was no "me" within which wasn't scared to "come out". I was able and willing to attend a support group without fear, but to come out to friends, family and the world? Can't say there was no fear... But I did have Faith that it was the right time and the right thing for me to do. Here's the entire quote i cut and pasted:

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but the capacity to act in the presence of fear. Faith is not the absence of doubt, but the courage to believe in spite of doubt. Trust is not the absence of qualms, but the capacity to go forward despite misgivings."

~ Rev. Mary Harvey ...

So I also had Trust.

The time was right in my life to stop living a lie. I am three years into my journey and am surrounded by a community of accepting friends, church congregants, and fellow travelers in the Recovery community. I am loved and respected(I think lol!) within that group. I am busy socially, spiritually, and in service work. Was there a price to be paid? Yes. A decades long marriage ended this year. But, frankly, it liberated me to be me without compromise for the first time in my life.

I suggest you may want to check into the Introductions Subforum and say high to all here. Not everyone here visits this forum. Even tho we as a group have the highest substance abuse rate of any demographic I know of, not every one here at LP has those issues and you can meet others by stopping over and saying hi in the Intro section.

Welcome aboard :)

Michelle

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Welcome dear. I worked my uses of substances in a different way. Started with drugs then booze but the result was the same. I was lucky to get into a 12 step program and got sober with the help i found there. % years into sobriety i got the courage to dress as myself and go to a women's meeting. I was accepted and actually shared my story with a room full of women. That was the start of finding acceptance and sobriety with the same wonderfully accepting people. I am far from fearless but day by day i have managed to get sober and better accept myself in an honest way.

Laura's has been a great place for me as well. I have learned a lot here and made some good friends. I'm glad you found us. We try to help each other and in doing that we seem to help ourselves.

Hope to see you around and thanks for your post.

Hugs,

Charlie

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   4 Members, 0 Anonymous, 137 Guests (See full list)

    • Adrianna Danielle
    • MaryEllen
    • Ivy
    • VickySGV
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.6k
    • Total Posts
      768k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,014
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Quillian
    Newest Member
    Quillian
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Bowie Ellis
      Bowie Ellis
      (19 years old)
    2. Damien Mcknight
      Damien Mcknight
      (18 years old)
    3. JJ
      JJ
      (77 years old)
    4. KathyLauren
      KathyLauren
      (70 years old)
    5. memyselfandwe
      memyselfandwe
      (44 years old)
  • Posts

    • Abigail Genevieve
      By which I mean there is a cultural stereotype of what a man is, and one of what a woman is.  Even worse, of what a transgender person is.   You be you.   I read of a boy who thought he was a girl because he did not adhere to some (rather toxic) conceptions of what it means to be a man, so he decided he was a girl.  He was told he didn't have to conform to stereotype and got happy. "You mean I don't have to transition?" He didn't want to, and was relieved.   Once upon a time if you were transgender they told you either you transition or die.   Incorporate the best of what it means to be a man and the best of what it means to be a woman as much as you possibly can, and let the rest go.  Be fully human. Be alive. Don't conform to some cultural crud.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      On the way back to her desk she was interrupted by six short, urgent conversations that had to be attended to. Then she slipped into the women's room and locked the stall door.  She took a deep breath, then another, and allowed herself to shake for five minutes,  Then deep breathing, ten in and ten out, stretch up, touch the floor, neck rolls and she was fine. She used the toilet and a woman knocked and said, "Taylor, are you okay?"   "Ready to conquer the world!"  on her way out she found her makeup was fine.  Three stalls, two sinks.  If she ever designed a women's room with three stalls, there would be four sinks, with plenty of space to plunk your stuff down between them.   She met a deferential Karen.  "Here is the branding I came up with," she said.  And she went back to working as hard as Brenda and Mary, who looked up worriedly and then went back to the proposal.   Shortly before 5:00 she received an email with the title Consolidation and Compensation.  In it she learned that the position of office manager was eliminated, and the current office manager was to become the chief executive officer. The former CEO, along with the CFO, the chief legal officer, and sundry staff, had been terminated, per the Board of Directors.  Effective immediately everyone would receive a base salary of $20,000 with a commission to be set by the individual's supervisor.  Each supervisor would be given a certain percentage to distribute.  Most functions they had been handled would be outsourced as needed.   "The question of what profit was made last year is frequent enough to be answered.  The company lost over 500,000 in fiscal 2023.  At this point further cuts are not anticipated.  We will be strategically adding positions that will enhance our profits. Hard work is expected of everyone."   Her two web guys had been complaining because their games had been remotely uninstalled.  After the memo came out they were absolutely silent.  That gave her an idea, and after an exchange of emails they were reassigned to maintenance out at the plant, effective tomorrow morning.  There were lots of weeds that needed pulling, if nothing else. That email went out after they left early, for the day.  The maintenance foreman was a no-nonsense type who did not tolerate slacking, and they would learn a thing or two.  This also freed up two spaces for her to put new people.
    • Davie
      Except for this thung thwister: Theophilus Thistle, the successful thistle sifter, in sifting a sieve full of unsifted thistles, thrust three-thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb. Now if, Theophilus Thistle, the successful thistle sifter, in sifting a sieve full of of unsifted thistles, thrust three-thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb, how many thistles can'st thou thrust through the thick of thy thumb . . . in sifting a sieve-full of unsifted thistles? Success to the successful thistle sifter!
    • VickySGV
      You have given you and us a big clue right there.  I hope you have shared this observation with your Endocrinologist and are willing to take their advice about changing that behavior.    Non prescribed herbal or animal supplements can have a negative effect on your body's use of your available hormones.  Also, your genetics are going to be controlling what your body is going to do with your hormones, and again, that is for you to consult with your Endocrinologists.  On this site none of us are licensed medical personnel and we cannot give you advice on your health more than what your doctor can.  We have rules that we enforce against our members advising about "Folk Remedies" because we have had members who have gone that route and badly damaged their health and quality of life.  Only thing I can go anywhere on, is that maybe if you change your expectations of what should happen, you will at least not be in danger of harming yourself from anxiety.
    • Timi
      Hi @violet r!    Thank you so much for sharing. I'm so glad you found this place. I hope you find as much comfort and support here as I have.    -Timi    
    • marysssia
      Hi lovely people,   I'm a 25 yo MtF woman, and I've been suffering from low estrogen issues since October 2023. I completely lost my feminine libido, my breast completely stopped growing, my estrogen levels dropped by a lot (despite NOT decreasing my E dosage) and thus my dysphoria drastically increased. I think it is worth mentioning that, for my health issues, I had been taking ----- Lamotrigine for months & had been on ketogenic diet, and these things seem to be a culprit of my current issue. I weaned off Lamotrigine some time ago and gave up on keto diet, but it still doesn't seem to help. My estrogen is still low (44 ng/ml) and my libido hasn't come back yet. In general, I struggle with my dysphoria so much because of that and, to be honest, I don't know what to do. I've tried so many dietary supplements, yet I didn't get any effects from them. My endocrinologist didn't know how to help me. She only suggested to increase my daily estrogen dose (to 3x per day ------sublingual estrogen tablets and 3x per day ------ estrogen gel applied to armpits or thighs), which I did, without any effect.   Please, help me. Prior to keto diet & Lamotrigine treatment, I'd never had experience like that. I'm basically helpless and have no clue what to do. Having to deal with low estrogen is a horrible experience to me and it affects my life severely.   BTW, my T levels are always within female range.   Do you have any clue what exactly I should do?
    • April Marie
      I love wearing a jeans skirt!! That looks like airport carpet. Safe travels if you're flying!!
    • Maddee
      Flight faraway forthcoming Fabulous forum friends 😊😊🎸🦂
    • Maddee
    • KathyLauren
      One of our cats is polydactyl.  He has 7 toes on each front paw and 5 on each back paw, for 24 toes total.   Another one, an ex-feral who, at the time, was free to roam, climbed 50 feet up a tree without having any thought about how he was going to get down.  His pal climed down backwards, but he couldn't.  He ended up coming down by leaping from branch to branch.  Which nearly gave us heart attacks, because he only has one eye and therefore has no depth perception.   The other ex-feral (both are now indoor cats) obviously does not have those soft pads on his feet.  At night, when we are in bed, we can hear him stomping around the house.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      The two o'clock Onshoring meeting was going well.  Taylor was leading, inviting other people up to speak on their specialties. Aerial photogrammetry and surveying, including the exact boundary, were out for contract signature  Gibson had handled that - Manufacturing was supposed to, but somehow hadn't happened.  Legal issues from Legal. Accounting reported on current costs, including all upkeep, guard salaries, etc.  Manufacturing was supposed to give those numbers, but they hadn't.   The downside was the VP of Manufacturing.  He had arrived at the meeting red-faced, his tie askew, clutching a bottle. It smelled strongly of vodka. He had never done anything in his twenty years of being VP of Manufacturing, and he did not like being asked now.   "Mr. ----, do you have the inventory we asked for?" Taylor asked politely.  VP Gibson had asked him to have his people go through the plant and not only inventory but assess the operational status of every piece of equipment.  They needed to know what they had. "I'm not going to take any f---- orders from a g-d- tra---," he snarled. "God knows what kind of perverts it has dragged into our fair city and bangs every night." "That is completely out of line." That was Gibson.  Taylor controlled herself.  That was a shot at Bob, not just at Taylor.  She was glad Bob was not there to do something stupid.  Had Mrs. McCarthy been talking? What had she said?  Was she given to embellishment?  Taylor took a deep breath. "I'm not sorry.  You f--- can take this stupid onshoring --- and shove it up your -" "That is quite enough."  This was the head of HR. "You can take your sissy ways and sashay -" "You are fired." "You can't fire me." "Oh, yes I can," said the office manager.  The VP took another swig from his bottle. "Try it."  He looked uncertain. "I will have you removed.  Are you going to leave on your own?  I am calling the police to help you leave." And he dialed the number. He stomped out cursing. They heard him noisily go down the hall.  This was the front conference room.  He actually went through security and out the door, throwing his badge on the ground on his way.  The guard picked it up. They could see this through the glass wall. "Can you fire a VP?" "The Board told me that if anyone gives me problems they should be shown the door. Even a VP.  I can fire everyone here. I won't, of course. Those were problems." "Are you alright, Taylor?" She nodded.  "I've heard worse.  Shall we continue?" And they did.   The last item was that certain business people in China had been arrested, and the corporation that had been supporting them all these years had been dissolved.  They were on their own, and the Board was dead serious on straightening things out.  After this meeting, Taylor believed it.  She did not attend the meeting to discuss how to distribute the few duties the VP of Manufacturing had done.  That was ultimately up to the Board.    
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Lunch was at Cabaret, still free.  The place was quiet: it was the sort of place you took a business client to impress them, and the few other people were in business suits.  Most of the legal profession was there.   She told him of the morning's frustrations, breaking her own rule about confidentiality.  She asked Karen how the branding was going, and Karen had snapped back that she had not started on it yet - they had all these proposals.  Taylor had explained that it was important, for the two o'clock meeting, and Karen told her to do it herself.  Karen pointed out that Taylor could not touch her - her uncle was on the Board and her brother was VP of Manufacturing.  Nor would the two computer guys go out to the plant - they were playing some kind of MMORPG and simply not available. If she wanted the pictures, she should go.  Mary prayed an Ave Maria, but both she and Brenda were racing to get the proposal out. The client wanted it Friday for review.   She didn't bring up what Mrs. McCarthy had told her.  She wasn't sure how to approach it.  She thought of telling her of a 'something more comfortable' she had bought in case he ever DID show up at her door. It was in the bottom drawer of her dresser, ready to go.  Instead she talked about moving to a place with a garage.  Several of the abandoned houses had one, and they had been maintained well with China cash.   Bob had finally realized that when he was introduced as Bob, Taylor's boyfriend, that was just how things were done here. Other people had introduced each other in terms of family relationships, which were strong.  Long before you found out anything else about someone, you knew how they were related.  Family kept people from leaving Millville.    "What is the real name of this town, anyway?"   She laughed.  "I am trying to find that out.  It's 'Welcome to Millvale' when you come into town from the north, and 'Welcome to Millville' on the south.  I have counted two other variants."   "What a town. Roosevelt is like that, with the families, but there is only one spelling."  
    • Ashley0616
      Nothing wrong with that. I'm glad that you found what makes you happy! Just curious what does your wife think? If it's too personal I understand.
    • Ashley0616
    • Ashley0616
      – According to a recent survey, the most popular name for a dog is Max. Other popular names include Molly, Sam, Zach, and Maggie.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...