Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Can Transgenderism be tackled?


Guest Burning Spirit

Recommended Posts

Guest Burning Spirit

I am only 16 and for 7 years I have been this way and progressively, my transgender problems have become worse and I'm feeling more and more like a girl inside every year. The feeling of envy I feel to have the body of a girl and be treated like one is getting to me badly in an almost ineffable manner.

I just can't stop or help myself at all, my sexual orientation is twisted by the transgender cravings, it's as though when I'm sexually attracted to women I don't want to live with them I want to be them. I feel almost desperate to have a girlfriend so I can get closer to my female bond and rub some of the pain off but I can't.

If I commit my life to a women I'll just spend my life wanting to be inside their body rather than loving their beauty.

I've never done any proper crossdressing but whenever I place clothing up my shirt to make me look like I have breasts or tucking my genitals under into a mangina always makes me much more happy.

I just want history to be changed so that I'm a biologically born girl and everybody knows it, but that's impossible. I feel the process of transition is so incredibly long and painful that it's not one worth taking. The endurance and courage is something to go through such actions is something I do not have enough of.

I am capable of such skills but those skills will damage me and turn me into a person that will turn down anything to perform such tasks, you may ruin your relationships with people over what you are but the realisations of people that show a lack of endurance with what you are does not make them less loveable.

One's faults will often come from their upbringings, I will NOT turn a blind eye on those who will hate me for what I actually am when they love me for what I have shown.

That is the reason why I choose not to transition no matter how badly I want to be a girl. I feel there are alternative possibilities that if performed will enlighten me into the ultimate achievement: to live without stress and to embrace what I desire through meditation.

What do you think?

Link to comment
  • Admin

At 16, I had a lot of ideas on how I could conquer the world and have it groveling at my feet. That was half a century ago, and I never made it there. Thus said, I am not one to give you guarantees on any attack on your GD. My signature line tells you where I am today. That is not a guarantee you will end up where I am when you reach my age, but you see my problem on long range evaluations. My suggestion is to find an adolescent medicine center in your health system where you can get counseling without necessarily spilling the beans to your family and work one on one with a therapist, hopefully one who knows about gender issues. It will depend on exactly how strong and how directed your Gender Dysphoria is, what you can do about it. I admit that I have never heard of anyone controlling all of it by meditation, but I do not know everything. I would be concerned though that it could take so much of your time, that you will do nothing else for the next eighty years. Consider Gender Therapy as a first line of attack.

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

I feel the process of transition is so incredibly long and painful that it's not one worth taking. The endurance and courage is something to go through such actions is something I do not have enough of.

I suppose we all face the issue of what we are going to do with the time we are on this planet, whether we are Trans or not, right? So becoming our true selves sounds pretty worthwhile to me. I think that most of us take the journey because the pain of staying the same outweighs the perceived risks involved in change... If you can lead a relatively content life by adding meditation then bless you. I knew i was "different" at 16 years old, but I really knew nothing about what price I was willing to pay down the road. Both the world changed over the years and I became more determined to be my true self. I'm glad I did, but it certainly is not without risk. Its good for you to know that if you enter the world of transition that there are resources available, and people who will accept and love you when you enter that world. It is also equally important that those new people in your life will probably be replacing ones who may not stick around....

Ultimately, you will simply know whether your strategies are working or not, and know whether you need to make changes.

Best wishes

Michelle

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

"I just can't stop or help myself at all, my sexual orientation is twisted by the transgender cravings, it's as though when I'm sexually attracted to women I don't want to live with them I want to be them. I feel almost desperate to have a girlfriend so I can get closer to my female bond and rub some of the pain off but I can't."

I so remember this feeling! You may be 16 but you have recognized and verbalized a problem it took me 60 years to understand fully. My mind just simply said "impossible don't go there". I have and am glad i held on. There were certainly bumps and they may still occur when i least expect them but i am finally me. I'm living with a woman who i love as i a woman, being and chatting with women as one of them instead of being the "male threat".

You have realized the problem at a good time in your life. Take your time but do try to speak to a gender therapist and create a plan for yourself. The pain you fear is in the future, if it even happens. Live today and move forward step by step in the day. You will progress along your path before you know it. Life takes place over time and starts with that step of taking a deep breath and letting life happen.

I've got your back.

Hugs,

Charlie

Link to comment
Guest MorganaPendragon

If I commit my life to a women I'll just spend my life wanting to be inside their body rather than loving their beauty.

You can do both. You can identify as a woman/want to be a woman and still love women. I do. When I see a beautiful woman, especially one I truly admire and respect, I think that I want to be with her and like her. There are cisgender women who like women. Gender identity is not the same as sexual orientation.

Link to comment
Guest LizMarie

I don't know if you need to transition and I'm certainly not suggesting that you do so. But it's not courage. It's a recognition that this is the only way left to be able to live a meaningful life. And definitely don't transition if you don't feel the need. It's hard. It can be expensive in certain aspects. It's not a cakewalk at all. And it doesn't solve any problems except related directly to gender dysphoria. Transitioning won't turn you into an extrovert, make you popular, pretty, or desirable. What transitioning does do (for many of us) is take the angst of gender dysphoria off the table.

If you need to transition, you'll figure that out eventually and figure out a way to make it happen. In the meanwhile, good luck with your meditations. It never helped me control GID but maybe it will for you.

Link to comment
Guest erinanita

I am only 16 and for 7 years I have been this way and progressively, my transgender problems have become worse and I'm feeling more and more like a girl inside every year. The feeling of envy I feel to have the body of a girl and be treated like one is getting to me badly in an almost ineffable manner.

I just can't stop or help myself at all, my sexual orientation is twisted by the transgender cravings, it's as though when I'm sexually attracted to women I don't want to live with them I want to be them. I feel almost desperate to have a girlfriend so I can get closer to my female bond and rub some of the pain off but I can't.

If I commit my life to a women I'll just spend my life wanting to be inside their body rather than loving their beauty.

I've never done any proper crossdressing but whenever I place clothing up my shirt to make me look like I have breasts or tucking my genitals under into a mangina always makes me much more happy.

I just want history to be changed so that I'm a biologically born girl and everybody knows it, but that's impossible. I feel the process of transition is so incredibly long and painful that it's not one worth taking. The endurance and courage is something to go through such actions is something I do not have enough of.

I am capable of such skills but those skills will damage me and turn me into a person that will turn down anything to perform such tasks, you may ruin your relationships with people over what you are but the realisations of people that show a lack of endurance with what you are does not make them less loveable.

One's faults will often come from their upbringings, I will NOT turn a blind eye on those who will hate me for what I actually am when they love me for what I have shown.

That is the reason why I choose not to transition no matter how badly I want to be a girl. I feel there are alternative possibilities that if performed will enlighten me into the ultimate achievement: to live without stress and to embrace what I desire through meditation.

What do you think?

It took me over fifty years to transition. Though i knew in my teenage years I wasn't a male, I continued trying to be one until I just couldn't find an alternative. I never thought of meditation. Maybe it will work for you.

I don't know that it was courage that I needed to transition but I am now fully aware that many of my peers got really messed up looking for any possible way not to transition and I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.

I wish you luck with whatever route you choose to follow but if the feelings just won't go away don't fight them. Just be who you are. For yourself.

Love,

Erin

Link to comment

I can relate to some of what you said because i spent a long time (and still find myself) just feeling angry at the world and feeling like its unfair that i was born in the wrong body.

I dated a lot of men and could never understand why i never liked them as much as i thought i did. Until i realized i wasnt romantically attracted to these men, i wanted to be like them.

I meditate but i have never really meditated on this subject because i feel like it would be painful. Of course that is just my own fear and insecurity.

Good luck

Link to comment
Guest Melissa~

One has to measure the relatively known perspective of living with dysphoria vs the unknown risks of transition. There are always losses in transition. After I determined I could be TS, the consistent problems managing my dysphoria was destructive in ways showed that the problems of transition would be worth it for me.

I know others that have transitioned did it because they were having suicidal thoughts or actions and also decided therapy and then transition was a better route than continuing life exactly as it had lead them to that point.

Link to comment
Guest meaenglsh

i've been meditating very effectively for 50 years. during that time i hid everything about my trans way of life. in fact i did not know the term transgender. i professed a male persona and raised a family to be macho and conservative in their outlook. then about 5 years ago i had a seachange. it came over me and i realized what i had been denying myself. all while meditating.

i don't think meditation can nullify this action within you. it might enhance your will power which will allow you to proceed with nullification. but eventually it will bring you down to earth and the realization of your own power, whatever that is. I practice TM. but i read a lot. Meher Baba thought that trans was an evolutionary technique to help people evolve faster by helping them see both sides. in the Ramayana trans people are praised by Ram and fortold that they would eventually rule the world. heh.. we can't even rule ourselves at the moment! anyway.

the most interesting thing i have had happen to me relative to your statements is my frustration in dealing with women. i had the same wanting to get close and etc. then i got on hrt with spironolactone. all the sex drive went away! genetic girls still seem beautiful to me but really.... i can do without all the desire involved. i actually resent being considered a male somewhat at times. and i glory at when i pass. but it doesn't mean much. what is coming is coming and i am settled and ready for it.

that is meditation. it settles and prepares you for action.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

If your 16 and feel this way, strap yourself in, it's gonna be a long road. Meditation is a wonderful tool, listen to your mind, what is it telling you ? How will you live with this ? Search the answers yourself, find those that are uniquely yours.

I will comment to Meaenglsh's post above. What she says is true for me as well. Suppressing T brought so much more clarity of thought when it came to being with or admiring beauty in other women. It was no longer this "biochemical based obsession". For someone that has dealt with this for as long as I can remember, this simple change solved so much of the "yearning". I love the feeling of being one with my inner woman without T messing up the experience ! It really helps and how I relate in the female world that I inhabit. It is more that I have become one with them, like them, not apart from them, cis woman are so much more friendly and open to someone without those "hungry eyes".

Find peace within yourself, that is the answer.

Hugs

Cynthia -

Link to comment
Guest GinaInside

Hi Burning Spirit,

Your dilemma is very understandable. When I was your age, I thought I was going to die because I'm TS.

Trying to fight it only brought lots of pain, misery, injuries, etc, by trying to be hypermasculine.

If you are truely feeling the way you say, please consider seeing a real gender counselor, it may save your life.

I wish you all the best,

Gina

Link to comment
  • 8 months later...
Guest Kayla Grace

I am only 16 and for 7 years I have been this way and progressively, my transgender problems have become worse and I'm feeling more and more like a girl inside every year. The feeling of envy I feel to have the body of a girl and be treated like one is getting to me badly in an almost ineffable manner.

I just can't stop or help myself at all, my sexual orientation is twisted by the transgender cravings, it's as though when I'm sexually attracted to women I don't want to live with them I want to be them. I feel almost desperate to have a girlfriend so I can get closer to my female bond and rub some of the pain off but I can't.

If I commit my life to a women I'll just spend my life wanting to be inside their body rather than loving their beauty.

I've never done any proper crossdressing but whenever I place clothing up my shirt to make me look like I have breasts or tucking my genitals under into a mangina always makes me much more happy.

I just want history to be changed so that I'm a biologically born girl and everybody knows it, but that's impossible. I feel the process of transition is so incredibly long and painful that it's not one worth taking. The endurance and courage is something to go through such actions is something I do not have enough of.

I am capable of such skills but those skills will damage me and turn me into a person that will turn down anything to perform such tasks, you may ruin your relationships with people over what you are but the realisations of people that show a lack of endurance with what you are does not make them less loveable.

One's faults will often come from their upbringings, I will NOT turn a blind eye on those who will hate me for what I actually am when they love me for what I have shown.

That is the reason why I choose not to transition no matter how badly I want to be a girl. I feel there are alternative possibilities that if performed will enlighten me into the ultimate achievement: to live without stress and to embrace what I desire through meditation.

What do you think?

Hi Burning Spirit,

You may have already read the others' opinions, and they're probably better then mine, but I'll give my opinion.

You have to look to your needs before everyone else. You have to do what is right for you, what makes YOU happy. I'm not even going to quote specifics. From your whole post, it's screaming to me that you are itching to be a girl. And not being one is killing you. I feel the exact same thing. It hurts me mentally to look at myself in the mirror and see myself as this male. I'm not what I see in the mirror on the inside, and it doesn't seem like you are either.

Coming out is nowhere near easy, it's the hardest thing in the world to come out to family, and those around you that have known you for years, even decades. it will be nearly impossible for you to tell others with confidence that you area trans gender without you believing it yourself. You have to accept yourself. once you do, you'll be a little happier, a little stronger, and a lot more confident. Being trans* is a beautiful thing. You shouldn't bury it like I did for 22 years and feel half there, and half alive.

These are just my opinions, because you asked what we think. Maybe blunt, but still my opinions. In the end, you'll do what you want to do. I'm just speaking as someone who's been there, who's still there. I've only just accepted that I'm a female with a male's body. So we're nearly in the same boat.

Good luck,

Natalya <3

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   5 Members, 0 Anonymous, 118 Guests (See full list)

    • Davie
    • Mmindy
    • MaryEllen
    • Maddee
    • Charlize
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.5k
    • Total Posts
      767.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      11,944
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Melissa_J
    Newest Member
    Melissa_J
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Amyjay
      Amyjay
      (58 years old)
    2. bettyjean
      bettyjean
    3. Breanna
      Breanna
      (52 years old)
    4. Emily Ayla
      Emily Ayla
    5. JET182
      JET182
  • Posts

    • Mmindy
      Good morning everyone,   @KymmieLI hope you're misreading your bosses communications. As you say keep plugging a long. Don't give them signs that you're slow quitting, just to collect unemployment.   I have a few things to do business wise, and will be driving to the St. Louis, MO area for two family gatherings.   Have a great day,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • KymmieL
      Good morning everyone, TGIFF   It seems like I am the one keeping or shop from being the best. According to the boss. I don't know if my days are numbered or not. But anymore I am waiting for the axe to fall. Time will tell.   I keep plugging a long.   Kymmie
    • KymmieL
      In the warmer weather, Mine is hitting the road on the bike. Just me, the bike, and the road. Other is it music or working on one of my many projects.   Kymmie
    • LC
      That is wonderful. Congratulations!
    • Heather Shay
      What is relaxation to you? Nature? Movie? Reading? Cuddling with a pet? Music?
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
      Having just a normal emotional day.
    • Heather Shay
      AMUSEMENT The feeling when you encounter something silly, ironic, witty, or absurd, which makes you laugh. You have the urge to be playful and share the joke with others. Similar words: Mirth Amusement is the emotional reaction to humor. This can be something that is intended to be humorous, like when someone tells a good joke or when a friend dresses up in a ridiculous costume. But it can also be something that you find funny that was not intended to be humorous, like when you read a sign with a spelling error that turns it into an ironic pun. For millennia, philosophers and scholars have been attempting to explain what exactly it is that makes something funny. This has led to several different theories. Nowadays, the most widely accepted one is the Incongruity Theory, which states that something is amusing if it violates our standards of how things are supposed to be. For example, Charlie Chaplin-style slapstick is funny because it violates our norms of competence and proper conduct, while Monty Python-style absurdity is funny because it violates reason and logic. However, not every standard or norm violation is necessarily funny. Violations can also evoke confusion, indignation, or shock. An important condition for amusement is that there is a certain psychological distance to the violation. One of the ways to achieve this is captured by the statement ‘comedy is tragedy plus time’. A dreadful mistake today may become a funny story a year from now. But it can also be distant in other ways, for instance, because it happened to someone you do not know, or because it happens in fiction instead of in real life. Amusement also needs a safe and relaxed environment: people who are relaxed and among friends are much more likely to feel amused by something. A violation and sufficient psychological distance are the basic ingredients for amusement, but what any one person find funny will depend on their taste and sense of humor. There are dozens of ‘humor genres’, such as observational comedy, deadpan, toilet humor, and black comedy. Amusement is contagious: in groups, people are more prone to be amused and express their amusement more overtly. People are more likely to share amusement when they are with friends or like-minded people. For these reasons, amusement is often considered a social emotion. It encourages people to engage in social interactions and it promotes social bonding. Many people consider amusement to be good for the body and the soul. By the end of the 20th century, humor and laughter were considered important for mental and physical health, even by psychoneuroimmunology researchers who suggested that emotions influenced immunity. This precipitated the ‘humor and health movement’ among health care providers who believed that humor and laughter help speed recovery, including in patients suffering from cancer1). However, the evidence for health benefits of humor and laughter is less conclusive than commonly believed2. Amusement is a frequent target of regulation: we down-regulate it by shifting our attention to avoid inappropriate laughter, or up-regulate it by focusing on a humorous aspect of a negative situation. Interestingly, amusement that is purposefully up-regulated has been found to have the same beneficial physical and psychological effects as the naturally experienced emotion. Amusement has a few clear expressions that emerge depending on the intensity of the emotion. When people are mildly amused, they tend to smile or chuckle. When amusement intensifies, people laugh out loud and tilt or bob their head. The most extreme bouts of amusement may be accompanied by uncontrollable laughter, tears, and rolling on the floor. Most cultures welcome and endorse amusement. Many people even consider a ‘good sense of humor’ as one of the most desirable characteristics in a partner. At the same time, most cultures have (implicit) rules about what is the right time and place for amusement. For example, displays of amusement may be deemed inappropriate in situations that demand seriousness or solemness, such as at work or during religious rituals.
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • April Marie
      Good morning, everyone!!! Two cups of coffee in the books and I am just feeling so wonderful this morning. Not sure why, but I'm happy and smiling.   Enjoy this beautiful day!!!
    • Heather Shay
      A U.S. dollar bill can be folded approximately 4,000 times in the same place before it will tear. -You cannot snore and dream at the same time. -The average person walks the equivalent of three times around the world in a lifetime. -A hippo’s wide open mouth is big enough to fit a 4-foot-tall child in. -Chewing gum while you cut an onion will help keep you from crying.
    • Susan R
      Love it! This is great news. We need more of this to combat the excessive hate-filled rhetoric and misinformation. 👍
    • Susan R
      The experience was the same for me @April Marie. I slept much deeper and I woke up each morning feeling so much more restful sleeping with forms solidly in place. For me, wearing breast forms at night started when before I was a teenager. I had no access up to modern breast forms and certainly no way to buy mastectomy bras back then. I wore a basic bra my mom had put in a donation box and two pairs of soft cotton socks. I have some crazy memories of things I did in my youth to combat my GD but regardless, these makeshift concoctions helped me work through it all.   All My Best, Susan R🌷
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...