choosing my gender before this life?

[Guest shinyd9]

So ive heard of some doctrine in the church that says that before this life when we were spirits. Im not sure if this is even church doctrine it might just be something ive heard. However before it all we chose to be the sex that we were going to be given. Ive just been having a hard time conforming to the church when i feel that at times i want to be the sex that i supposivelly didnt choose. I have alot of doubts about the church, however ive had so many blessings and been blessed alot by the church that its hard for me to except that i may be transgender. I dont know. Im afraid to come out and be who i want to be. I dont even know if i could go to church as a female unless i was fully passable so that nobody would know. I just want to be happy but i dont know what to do.

[JenniferB]

I think Mormons believe you were already a male or female spirit before you were born. I don't know if they believe you chose what biological sex you were born.

Jenny

[Guest actuarylilium]

I know little about the Mormon church and beliefs, so I apologise if I say anything offensive: it's not my intention

What I will say is that I believe God would want us to live in the way that is true to ourselves, and makes us truly happy. By happy, I don't mean just having fun by having wild parties and getting drunk everynight, etc.What I mean is such that we feel inner peace and contentment with ourselves, and how we are living life. It isn't in God's interests if we are uncomfortable with ourselves: even if he has the greatest plan in the World, we're not going to follow it properly if we're at war with ourselves inside.

Most of my best friends are Christian, and I have been to Church a couple of times with them. I know a few of the people that go there, and I really like the community - they are very nice people indeed. But I'm not a Christian, and they (apart from my best friend, and he's really accepting) don't know I'm a crossdresser. They've all been really nice to me, and helped me with my problems. But even if they weren't accepting, I would still crossdress and live true to myself.

What I'm trying to say is: Please, please don't be afraid of being transgender. It isn't evil, it isn't a sin: it's who you are. I can honestly say that if you accept being trans and let it guide everything in your life, you will be so happy and at ease with yourself Don't let dogma get in the way of your own well being: We obviously don't have a choice in our gender before we are born (otherwise I would probably have chosen differently...). You cannot, cannot, make yourself conform to something you're not entirely comfortable with (trust me, I have tried).

As for being Mormon: It sounds like the community has been really good to you. You should tell them about being trans, you owe it to them and yourself. But if they don't accept you, or your church won't accept you, you have to eliminate them from your life. You have to be true to yourself at all costs: even if it's painful, in the long run it's the only way you will be truly happy. If you are having doubts about your faith, you should talk to some pastors (and use the web) and try to work through these difficulties. Be opened minded about other points of view, and go with what you feel most comfortable with.

You have to be true to who you really are, otherwise life will be an utter misery. Hope this helps, I'm always here if you want to talk to me

Lots of Love, Lily xxx

[Guest Jenn348]

The teaching is that gender is eternal, always was and always will be. However, there is also the teaching that this earth is imperfect, and sometimes our bodies don't match our spirits (mentally disabled people, cleft palates, etc).

Once a member or leader realizes that genitalia and gender characteristics are not immune from mortal imperfecton, they tend to be much more supportive.

[Sol]

I'm definitely not Mormon or necessarily religious, but I do believe in reincarnation. 

My own viewpoint is that your soul or spirit or whatever you want to call it, goes through constant evolutions and doesn't stay the same. It's a constantly evolving thing because you can be anything or anyone. 

With that in mind, I don't think a spirit has a sex, or chooses it. A spirit is more like the essence of a person or thing, and isn't confined by the sex and gender norms we may adhere to.

But if this helps at all, I think if God made you as you are, then no one can say otherwise. And I have a feeling that Jesus would love you all the same.