Why Crossdress?

[Petra Jane]

Well, for me it was a bit of a rebellion against a very domineering mother who brought me up to look after her and my father in their old age. I started quite young I suppose, I don't remember exactly when or how old I was the first time, just that it felt right.

She only caught me the once, but there were a couple of close calls. After she caught me, it was never mentioned again, indeed, she didn't talk to me for a few days, but I still wonder if deep down she was grateful as it would mean that I would be unlikely to find "another woman" who would take me away from looking after her.

By the time they died, I had really accepted that I will not find someone for me, so without really thinking about it too much, I found that I had a reasonable "wardrobe" of female clothing that fitted. Thank goodness for catalogue and mail-order shopping is all I can say!

The clothes. I had, and still have a selection of lacy bras and panties, along with various other foundation garments, opaque tights and padding along with a selection of tops. Some tight, some see through and others quite decorous in fit and style. As for skirts, my favourites include a long swirly black one with white glitter patterns, a tight red mini-skirt and a black mini that is about two sizes too small, but it pulls on and stretches very sexily.

I also have a couple of nighties and lacy slips to complete the picture.

As for shoes, I have a white pair with about two inch heels that I have had for years and are very comfortable. There is a blue pair with three inch heels and very pointed toes, that is less than comfortable, but look great. I've also a pair of chunky silver strapy sandals with four inch heels but my favourite is a pair of black knee boots with three inch heels. These fit perfectly and are so comfortable.

I have a few wigs, mainly long, well below my shoulders, and in a few different colours. My favourite are my auburn pair, one short, finishing well above my shoulders, the other is long and as I say, well below the shoulders.

Getting ready.

After a long day at work, all I want to do is sit and relax, chill out with a bit of television or work on the computer, updating the website or just messing around. When it's been a really long or stressful day, then I need a little extra relaxation. These are the days when I can draw the curtains, shut the door and get things ready for an evening of enjoyment.

First thing is of course to strip off, then pull on a pair of cotton panties, with either a condom on or some tissues to catch any leaks at the end of the night, I don't want to spoil my lacy panties or corselet after all. Tucking myself up and back, pulling the panties up snugly, I next pull on a pantie corselet, slipping my arms through the straps, and adjusting the crotch so that I am fairly comfortable, and the cups are in the right place.

If it's being a rough day, I may even put a second corselet on to give me a real sense of restriction. Slipping in the breast forms, makes a wonderful sensation as I bend forward to ease a pair of black opaque tights on my legs. The unaccustomed weight on my chest feels fantastic, I could sit there for ages, simply enjoying the sensations, but I behave myself and finish pulling up the tights. Again, depending on the day, I may add a firm control panty to add to the sensation of restriction, but regardless, a satin or nylon pair of frilly panties will be added.

A lacy bra will complete the basic foundation of the evening, perhaps it will be the purple one, or a white one which will show though the top later, or the black and cream frilly one. Which one depends on the mood I am in or wish to set.

As an example, if I wish to imagine I am the lady of the house, relaxing at the end of a hard days' work, or just doing a little housework, then I may slide my long cream satin slip on over the underwear as above. Following this with my slightly see-through white blouse and my long black floaty floral pattern skirt and white shoes.

If however, I wish to show off my legs, then I may put my short red satin slip on, the one trimmed with black lace, again with my white blouse and one of the short, tight, mini-skirts. Or possibly I will use my red patterned lace top, along with my suit jacket.

Alternative outfits include a white jumper, quite see-through, a bra shows very clearly through this. This item is best worn with either the suit jacket or a blouse over it, but unbuttoned. Either the white blouse, or a purple satin one.

[Zufrieden]

Hi Petra Jane:

I'm similar, but mostly dissimilar.

I used to crossdress. The emphasis was always on panty girdles, control briefs and tucking. I've always liked pantyhose, too.

Leotards to try to capture the smooth body form of a natural woman were always a favorite.

I had a couple of knit dresses a former tenant left. I never was fashion oriented. (Apparently, they weren't either. )

But I'd get dresseed up and say, "Now what?." I didn't really see the point. I still have my "stash", but hardly use it.

Now that I think of it, since I started biochemically to be a transsexual, I haven't touched any items except the bras.

I've gone through my collection trying to see which ones actually fit. Basically, only one fits.

I went out and bought a half dozen plain white sports bras for daily use.

I should go out and buy myself some "real" bras. but I haven't been really motivated.

Since I'm growing and sensitive, the sports bras are beginning to annoy me when worn for eight hours.

When I get home, I just want to take them off and relax. I guess I do need a "real" bra.

When I'm all done with everything, the items of clothing that will probably have the greatest attraction for me would be

one-piece bathing suits, well-fitting jeans and camisole/tap pants nightware, none of which I can comfortably wear now.

Still, it's a pleasure to hear from a crossdresser who's comfortable with being who they are.

Z.

[Guest Madison_Always]

i crossdress because it just feels right although i am rather young so i have a ver y limited supply of clothes 1 dress and my moms shoes which barely fit but i am trying to work up the courage to go and buy some tights and shoes

[Guest Sophie Jean]

For me, I do it because for a moment when I "pretend" to be a woman, I really do feel completely feminine, and I don't care about "who I am" anymore. And the more I do it, the more the pretense feels like the true reality.

Every night, I get a bubble bath and shave my extremities if needed--cheeks to toe. I put on some nice panties under my shorts and a T-shirt and go to bed. That helps me fall asleep faster, as it takes me feeling feminine to sleep.

Every morning, I put on a matching day bra under my work shirt when getting dressed, and it stays on until I get my bath. This gives me the touch to keep my attitude going through the day.

Finally, twice a month, I do the whole thing. My goal is to pass, for which I attend group en femme, and a local crossdressing group (TriEss). The night before I dress, I do a trial run of the outfit, and paint my toenails. Then when it's time to go out, I put on the dress, or blouse and skirt (sometimes some feminine pants). I put my hair on before my makeup, because it feels more real. Then come the accessories--a gold necklace, a slightly smaller watch with a little more color, and a chrome heart chain if it adds positively. Then come the high-heeled shoes, and I finally transfer everything to my purse, including the makeup bag, and go.

- Sophie Jean

[Guest Madison_Always]

for me its gonna be a while before i actually go out of my room/bathroom though if i shaved(everywhere) and got a decent wig i might be able to pass with some ppl

[Guest Kimberley Jackson]

well i think girls get a lot more attention and always try and look great. i mean why wear trainers and socks when you can wear heels? and theres so many pairs of heels to choose from Why have hair everywhere when you can be smooth and tanned? a boy can only really wear trousers or shorts....BORING! i mean why wear them when you have a choice of trousers, three quarter lengths, short sexy shorts or why not even hot pants or a mini skirt.

Even underwear girls have so much more boxers and pants i mean what about strings knickers hot pants french knickers. i mean being a guy is boring well thats just my feelings lol xx kim

[Guest Madison_Always]

well i think girls get a lot more attention and always try and look great. i mean why wear trainers and socks when you can wear heels? and theres so many pairs of heels to choose from Why have hair everywhere when you can be smooth and tanned? a boy can only really wear trousers or shorts....BORING! i mean why wear them when you have a choice of trousers, three quarter lengths, short sexy shorts or why not even hot pants or a mini skirt.

Even underwear girls have so much more boxers and pants i mean what about strings knickers hot pants french knickers. i mean being a guy is boring well thats just my feelings lol xx kim

totally agree i just wish i could be me all the time

[Guest Sally Stone]

For me crossdressing is the ultimate escape. I work hard at it when I do it, and I immerse myself in the essence of being feminine. For years I searched for the reason behind my desire. Later, I began to realize that the reason wasn't really important. Since I enjoy crossdressing immensely and it is extremely fulfilling, I have just given in to it.

That doesn't mean I dress fulltime or even a great deal. Actually, I don't. When I do decide to transition from "bubba" to "belle"; however, I try to make the most of it. I love looking like a woman. I adore the styles, the fabrics, the smells, and the feel of the things that are decidedly girlish.

There is another aspect of crossdressing that is extremely appealing to me, and that is the duality built into my personality. As a girl, I am a completely different person. I am inquisitive, outgoing, and adventurous. Those are personality traits I just don't exhibit as a guy. I love both sides of my personality and wouldn't trade one for the other.

It is so much fun having the ability to be two different people.

Hugs,

Sally

[Guest joanne43]

Hi there. Like Sophie Jean, when I'm dressed I feel that I 've left my male being and my feminine side take me over and I think and act as female.

I feel a sense of tranquillity about me, the stress I may have felt drops away and I just love being Joanne.

Unfortunately as much as I,d love to venture out, it's sadly an option not open to me.

This has not stopped me from my love of crossdressing and as the years have gone by my desire to dress more is something I look forward too.

I do try to look my best when I dress and I do think I do my feminine side well and just can't stop popping by the mirror to check that every thing about my dress hair make-up are at there best as any woman would.

I've never had any regrets about my journey through life as Joanne and intend to enjoy the thrill of transiting into the female world.

Love Joanne

[Zufrieden]

This is kind of unrelated, but not worthy of its own topic.

A lot of genetic men would rather be dead than ever be seen in a dress, even as a joke.

Our company was going to put on something for the local kids for Halloween.

My boss offered me a costume of "a mean biker dude". It came with flesh-colored pull-on arm stockings with tattoos.

I had to admit that as a costume, the tattoo "armlets" were kind of a cute idea.

The idea of getting dressed up like that, even for Halloween, revolted me to a degree that surprised me.

I would never want to appear that way, even as a joke.

I refused to go as the "biker dude". Unfortunately, they never offered me a dress as an alternative.

Z.

[Guest Sandy]

I didn't even know why I enjoyed wearing my mothers petticoat when I was a small child. Now I'm close to 50 and I still don't know why I like to wear womans clothes. But the thing that I do know is that I just love to dress up and relax in front of the computor. When I'm dressed up, all my cares just drift on by.

[Guest taylor]

I only wished that all my cares would blow out the window once dressed up but for me they don't go anywhere. I do know that I get mad and dissappointed when I can't wear what I'd like to wear, and I absolutely hate it when I don't look good. Even as me when I'm out I have to look good. I used to work as a mechanic for a garage, and I hated getting oily and dirty an stuff. I am anxious and sometimes can't wait to dress, and then dissappointed when I have to undress but for me I think it is a little strange and unusual to do. what I mean to say is that I could see why people would stay and that is why I only go out at night when dressed in skirts, but the thing is, I can't stop...I don't want to stop. no i don't wanna lol but well i dunno maybe just wishful thinking....(i want to talk a walk it feels absolutely great outside right now) I suppose I like to look my best and show off my natural assets, even if i do have broad shoulders and manly arms, I think womens clothing is a whole lot more stylish and I hate to go shopping for boy clothes but I'm going to try to look good as a guy and look even better as a woman. but this is just one of my random thoughts..... XOXO Taylor

[Guest Cheryl_Lem]

Why I started is kind of hard to pin point. I remember when my sister went away to college, I was 11, I took over her room. She had left some lip stick in a draw. I found it and I tried it. I remember the emotional rush I received from that creamy smooth feeling. She also left some panties and shoes which I tried on. After some time I progressed to my mothers clothes. I loved the feelings and the whole make believe thing. I did this for years until high school. At that time I put it aside for the most part. In my 20's I did less and less. Since I lived alone and or with a male room mate the access to clothing wasn't there. Then around the age of 29 I fell in love and moved in with a my currant wife. The access to fem attire was now regular and so was my desire to dress. I would fight it for a while but still I was drawn back. After about 12 years she found out. So far she has been wonderful. She bought me my own shoes, panties, slip, stockings and nightie. I have gone on to buy my own outfits. Because she found out I don't feel the compultion to dress as much because I can indulge as I need too. It has done alot for my own sense of being and has answered some nagging questions my wife always had. She always felt I was hiding something. Basically I am happier now and our relationship is stronger. i know I am one of the lucky crossdressers and I am thinkful for that every day.

[Guest Jenny]

That is great to hear, you are very lucky.

Honestly I wouldn't even know where to start on this subject.

I don't consider it crossdressing because this is stuff I would have been doing if I was my normal self. I should have had a wardrobe of womens clothes from the start of my life. Yes I wear mens clothes because I am genetically male but I always could care less about the clothes. I feel okay in them, but never comfortable and I have always been like that. Now that I have become a little more at ease with myself and given in slightly to who I am, it starts to make a lot of sense.

Sorry, when I talk about personal stuff my mind tends to ramble nonsensically and I am all over the map.

I guess for me. it's not dressing p like a woman; it's acknowledging who I am, ad doing the things I should have done years ago.

[Guest Sara-Louise]

I have always grew up around girls and most of my friends were girls in the neighbourhood , once around 9 yrs old a girl wanted to dress me up for a laugh so i let her and the feeling once she put a dress on me was so different and made me feel so good , i guess thats where it started , she wanted a sister and now i was her sister in a kid kind of way , i still get that good feeling whenever i dress nowdays , although it has cost me my marriage as my ex wife hated it and said it did her head in , but now i have a girlfriend who loves it when i dress up she takes me shopping and is always looking to buy me new clothes , make-up , shoes etc... i love her so much for the way she supports me , it has taken quite a while to find a girl like her but i now can say i`m so lucky to have her , we have now started to go out together occasionaly when i`m dressed and i can say there is honestly no feeling better

[Guest Kelli Ann]

Other than loving the feel of being femmed up, I think one of the reasons that I crossdress is because I am attracted to a certain look on a woman. My wife is a very beautiful woman but does not portray the look that I fantasize about. Therefore I become the woman that I desire. I know that sounds a little "Twilight Zonish" but think about it. If you are a heterosexual man such as myself, don't you in a way become the woman of your affection, fantasies, and desires? And once she is complete, in front of that mirror, you have her there. Many times I have looked at myself in the mirror all femmed up and think, "If you were in a bar honey I would try to pick you up." Would everybody out there agree that what I have said is part of the excitement"

[Guest savagedm]

Sup everyone, I am new here. To start off, I am originally from California and only recently have been living here in Georgia (about 1 year to be exact). I began CDing at a VERY young age (before kindergarten while in preschool) during play time where we had a dress up area at the preschool. The women there encouraged free expression so it was never really stymied in the early ages. For a while it manifested itself in high school, and through extensive research on the internet I led myself to believe I was a full blown TS. One day my father caught me dressing, and although they found articles of female clothing in my possession before, this was the first time they actually saw me dressed up. My parents could no longer ignore it, they brought me to a psychiatrist. Instead of coming forward with the truth to him, I led him down the path I wanted him on (Note: I have always been very good at hiding this, thus lying about it came naturally) He told my parents it was just a phase and that it was nothing to worry about. I stopped CDing for almost 4 years after that, and it really has never been an issue since.

I am now a junior in college, I moved away from California to go to school out here in Georgia. About a year and a half ago, the urges resurfaced and I was very troubled by them. But after having a few girlfriends and doing a little soul searching by this time I had come to the realization that I very much want to be and remain a man. I want a family and a job and all that jazz. What I had to do now was find out why I had this insatiable urge to dress en femme. Again the online research helped a great deal, I learned that people who thought like I did were quite common and that it was nothing to be afraid of. Since then I have become quite comfortable with the fact I am a CD. I still have not come out to anyone as I am in a fraternity which I love very much here. Although I know of a few who will be accepting, the vast majority wont (the South is not known as a safe haven for our types to say the least )

Now a days I cross dress in private or under my normal male attire solely dependent on the situation. Sometimes it is for sexual excitement, others is for its therapeutic aspect. A large number of CDers wish they could dress full time in female attire, and although I admire their drive and desires. To me, clothing is nothing other than the shield behind which we hide our true selves. Some days I feel like dressing like a guy (I still very much enjoy male clothes) and others I want nothing more than to be strolling into class in a cute summer dress and open toe heels. However, till I am away from this place I dont think I can make that a reality. So, here I sit.. content in my secret, waiting for the time I can finally let it out.

I'd love to hear more people's stories, maybe some more of you are like me in this

[Guest Patricia]

That is great to hear, you are very lucky.

Honestly I wouldn't even know where to start on this subject.

I don't consider it crossdressing because this is stuff I would have been doing if I was my normal self. I should have had a wardrobe of womens clothes from the start of my life. Yes I wear mens clothes because I am genetically male but I always could care less about the clothes. I feel okay in them, but never comfortable and I have always been like that. Now that I have become a little more at ease with myself and given in slightly to who I am, it starts to make a lot of sense.

Sorry, when I talk about personal stuff my mind tends to ramble nonsensically and I am all over the map.

I guess for me. it's not dressing p like a woman; it's acknowledging who I am, ad doing the things I should have done years ago.

Hi Jenny,

There have been lots of good postings on this subject but yours went right to my heart. I have had pretty much the same thoughts and have made similar postings on other forums.

I too am really uncomfortable with the term “crossdressing” and the even more horribly sounding “transvestite.” They seem to be used by society to refer to a person who dresses in clothes of the opposite gender, which is generally frowned upon, giving these terms a rather negative meaning. I really disagree with that. You could say they really make sense only if they refer to when a person merely changes attire.

I am a genetic male and have a strong male aspect to my personality. To some extent I express this in male attire, which I too don’t particularly care for. Still, this works and I can live with it. I also have a strong feminine aspect to my personality and I need to express this too, and do so to some extent in female attire, which I do like and which feels very natural.

I like your idea that when you put on female attire you are not “dressing up like a woman” which almost implies doing something unnatural, imitating something you are not. There is no imitation here. In effect, when we don female attire we are only expressing the feminine aspect of our personality. Just as you said, we are merely acknowledging our female aspect, something as natural as expressing and acknowledging our male aspect. If we don’t say we are “dressing up as a man”, we should also not say we are “dressing up as a woman”.

If you say that we crossdress when we go from male clothes expressing our male aspect to female clothes expressing our female aspect, then going from female clothes to male clothes is also crossdressing. It merely describes change of style to express one of our two aspects, with no negative meaning. As far as I am concerned, for us, wearing female attire is just as natural and right as wearing male attire and crossdressing expresses just the transition from one to the other, a two way street, so to speak.

Although I prefer female clothes and would like to wear them most of the time, I could not give up the male attire I don’t particularly like, as that would prevent me from expressing my males aspect. To the entity which is me, I need to express both.

I hope this makes sense!

All the best.

Patricia

[Guest Patricia]

Hi all,

Why we CD is obviously a complicated topic. I share a lot of the reasons given in this thread such as liking the soft feel of the clothes and that I look better en femme. We all have a great deal in common. I would, however, like to address one facet which Taylor hinted at, release of stress.

We all feel a more or less strong drive to don female clothing. One explanation would be that we have a feminine aspect to our personality and are driven to express it. Most of us realized this at a very early age. This drive is always with us and never goes away. Some try to suppress it for a while but it always comes back. If we don’t give in to this drive or are unable to do this due to our particular circumstances a great deal of pressure builds up, as our feminine aspect starts demanding to be expressed. It will only lessen or go away to the extent we can finally dress en femme. Frustration mounts and dressing becomes a necessity. The closer we get to being dressed totally en femme the less pressure there is. This has been my experience and it seems fairly common. There may be some difference in degree, but the general idea seems to be the same

Dressing in secret helped but this only lessened the pressure a bit. It took me a while for me to be able to shed my guilt about this and to finally go out and about en femme. The pressure, or urge to express my feminine aspect was suddenly released and it felt absolutely wonderful. The burden was lifted and I felt liberated, free. I now knew how the Genie felt when let out of the lamp! (No, I don’t grant wishes, so don’t ask.)

I dress quite often, on weekends, national holidays, days off from work, and once or twice on weekday evenings during the seasons when the weather permits. When the time to dress approaches I start feeling more relaxed. On the weekends as I get ready to I go out, I am often a bit stressed out or tense simply due to a normal week of work. There is a huge sense of liberation as I am finally dressed and go out. When I return in the evening, almost invariably all of the stress is gone.

Going out and about en femme also seems to put me in a very relaxed frame of mind, not only because the pressure to express my feminine aspect has been released. I am doing something I enjoy and find natural, when I get dressed. Going out and about en femme also seems to make me feel more complete as a person. These male and female aspects are very important elements of my personality. I cannot experience my complete personality by suppressing one of them. Something would be missing. I need to express both, with the need to express my feminine aspect somewhat stronger than the need to express my masculine aspect.

Reading the various comments, I tend to note that underlying many of them is a certain frustration, a certain pressure which builds up as people experience their female aspect and the need to express it. I think we share this in common too.

All the best,

Patricia

[Guest nightfly]

Lots of 'female' influences. Mom dressed me in my sisters older clothes ostensibly to save money (but we had money for new furniture); only when no one was around though. She had me wearing my sisters old underwear, mom would sew red and blue stripes onto the waistband so they vaguely resembled my boy briefs, again, to 'save money' (but this only went further to make me feel there wasn't much difference from me and my sister). That all stopped when I started school though.

Bad for me to be a boy; as a pre school child, it seemed girls (or at least, my sister and girls her age) had all the advantages. If I was hurt, I couldn't cry; if I cried, I would get beat. But girls were allowed to cry. When I got beat up, I was expected to fight back, no matter how many times I got beat. Supposedly the bully would 'learn to respect me'; nah, he only beat me more. I had to 'fight my own battles'; but other kids older siblings could pitch in and beat the crap out of me; my sister never intervened on my behalf. 'A man can never hit a woman'; or so my father would reinforce. So, sis could kick the crap out of me; if I fought back, she could either: 1. beat the crap out of me, or 2. tell my dad, who would beat the crap out of me, or 3. both. I was a boy, there was no winning here. Mom 'bonded' with sis; spent lots of time with her, preening, buying her new clothes, doing her hair, etc etc., but dad was always busy working. Boys were supposed to be 'tough'. Affection was never shown my way; I don't ever remember being hugged or sitting on anyone's lap as a kid other than when on the bus because that was the only way mom didn't have to pay an extra fare; as soon as she could, she would shoo me off of her like I had the plague or something.

Both mom and sis seemed to resent me; I didn't find out till a few years later. Seems mom, dad and sis had a pretty good life until I came along. Nice apartment, right across the street from the school where my dad worked as a janitor. Sis would have a 30 second walk to school, where dear old dad worked. But less than a year before she would start kindergarten, they had to move across town to a bigger place, because I was born a boy, and couldn't share a bedroom with my sister. Sis lost all her friends right before starting school; and now, school was a 15 minute walk along the highway. Mom didn't drive, so lost her friends too. All my fault for being born a boy. I felt they both blamed me for the disturbance in their lives. And it gets worse.

Of course, I had been conditioned not to fight back, because it resulted in worse beatings. And so I started school, and when picked on, wouldn't fight. Bad behavior for a boy. Now I was branded a sissy. Other boys would kid me I should be in a dress; made me more confused.

We lived away from the rest of the kids who went to my school; no same age kids for friends for me. But sis had three girls in her class within 9 houses away. Better to be a girl.

And, mom wanted to go to work. Now I was a latchkey kid, but that wasn't working out. So, I was told to hang out with my sister's friends family while I waited for my parents to come home. Sis had a friend, the only person I remember being nice to me at all (we were both youngest kids of the family; perhaps she knew how I felt, I don't know, but she was nice to me; till this day, I have a strong preference for skinny women with long dark straight hair; kind of resembles her, who would have guessed?). Sis's friend had a large family; the oldes sister had three daughters, one, two and four years younger than me. No boys my age. So, I played with them. Again, not a good thing for a young boy to wind up doing. But my sister's friend's older brother 'befriended' me. Treated me like a younger brother. Nice at first. But very quickly, the sexual abuse started.

See, we would hang out in an abandoned apartment in his house. One day, I had to pee; he followed me into the bathroom, saying he had to go too. He 'noticed' that my penis was much smaller than his; said maybe I was supposed to be a girl. I was mortified; he says wait. Goes and gets some woman's clothes, but they don't fit. He says wait. Goes and gets some of his sister's (my sister's friend) underwear. We're almost the same size. What a surprise, it fits. I'm mortified again. He says its sure, I was supposed to be a girl, that god made a mistake. But he will keep my secret, and let me be a girl when no one is around so god won't get angry. Talk about confusing.

Then he teaches me how to do sexual things for him, and this dressing up and having sex as a girl goes on almost daily until I get to high school. Now, even though this was technically a bad thing, he never forced me to do anything. He carefully manipulated me into wanting to do what he wanted me to. And, being starved of affection at home, the only physical contact I had was with him, when he would collapse after sex and hold me briefly before getting up and getting dressed. It was the only affection I ever knew as a child. I would over all those years learn to associate being dressed as a girl with expecting to receive affection.

Puberty hits, and now I'm sexually attracted to girls while still believing that I'm supposed to be one. Took me years to figure out why I was so screwed up.

To this day, when under any stress at all, I want to dress up. When I have sex, there is always the underlying feeling that the other person should be the 'active' partner, not me. It takes all kinds of mental gymnastics for me to have sex as a normal guy, and it doesn't always work.

Because of everything that happened, I only feel 'normal' when dressed as a girl. And that truly sucks. I spent my entire childhood expecting god to eventually correct his mistake, and that I would turn into a female when all the other girls started to mature sexually as well. When it didn't happen, I didn't know what to do, which is when I delved into psychology to understand myself.

So, here I am; a straight guy, who always has the odd feeling that I am supposed to be a girl. Which would be fine, if I had any homosexual tendencies. But life is cruel, and I feel nothing but disgust and repulsion towards men, and never feel like I can truly trust other men. There is always an underlying feeling that they want to take advantage of me in some way. So I have rarely had any male friends, and women, well, want nothing to do with a guy with any female 'tendencies'. I've spent almost all of my life alone.

And that's why I crossdress.

[Guest Adalia]

I crossdress because I like being feminine it makes me feel good it is a release I even fantasize about being dressed like a woman and being held in the arms of a woman wearing minimally feminine clothing I like being a man and can be quite masculine especially when playing video games but I also like the idea of a reversal of roles if I was ever to start dating (I have never been on a date because I am in general very shy which contributes to me crossdressing if I cannot meet the right woman I should become her) ideally it would be with a woman who would be the "boyfriend" and let me be the "girlfriend" I would still pay for things and be do the things for a woman a man should but I when it comes to cuddling or dancing or making out I want the feminine role it is weird it might even be wrong but we all want some weird and/or wrong things sometimes

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Hi Petra

I know your topic is a few years old, but this is the first time that I ever heard your point of view.

I am grateful that I had the opportunity to read this topic of yours.

All I can say is that I crossdress because I need to. I at least partially crossdress every day including when I am at work.

I cannot really explain it, but if I am not wearing something feminine, I feel strange and out of place.

Like you, when I am at home, I can fully dress they way I want to

Love

Brenda