Self-Perception

[Guest Kenna Dixon]

I was chatting online with someone in my LGBT Meetup group last night. To their credit, many of the gay or lesbian members are very interested in learning about what it's like to be transgender.

When I mentioned the fact that I feel a bond when conversing with genetic females but am always aware that they see me as a transgender male-to-female person, she shocked me by saying she never thinks of me as anything other than a woman...and that she sees me as being more feminine than she is.

That's where it gets crazy. This individual, who is about to turn 40, is simply beautiful - and very feminine in mannerisms and personality. She's the one lesbian member who is by far the least stereotypical. If she owns a mirror, how she can think of herself otherwise is beyond me.

At age 73, and having started HRT only about seven years ago, I don't harbor any illusions about my appearance. I seem to be able to pass okay, but I make no special effort to be more "feminine". I'm content to be where I am on the gender continuum and to be thought of as simply a transgender person. I work at home, and most of the time I'm just sort of neutral as far as presentation is concerned.

Someone like my friend having a view of herself that's so much at odds with reality makes me wonder whether I, too, am oblivious to something that others perceive and take for granted.

[Guest noeleena]

Hi,

In how one see,s them selfs,

Being female does not allways make us feminine , is this only in how we look , in our manerisms how we do things , or in our thinking this of cause is were theres many differences between men and women , i know we are different ,

Some here will know what being a male is all about know how it drives them and pretty much all of thier lifes, I dont and never have, let alone know how a male thinks or what drives them ,i was not born with that ,

how an other woman see,s another we dont ? it we just know it , so this brings up the concern of how we are percived .

I was with 11 women at our womens group . ( Womens Center.) for those who lacked self esteem and confidence in them selfs as normal , two day ,s together, and getting to know each other in a very open together talking about our selfs ,

Was lovely really ,

The 2 nd day one woman said to me and knowing some of my background did say in front of every one very pointedly that i was more woman than she was , this of cause hit me sq on . as i never thought of my self or could have being more than she or the others for that matter ,

So sometimes we dont really see our selfs for who we are , and many times we are blind to our selfs , and for myself of putting my self down , because i dont see my self as a normal full complee female / woman . though born with female detail; ,

And then to accept this we stumble some what in who we are, .

So yes its really lovely for another to just add a little bit and acknowage we are real after all ,

...noeleena...